Written as my first (and likely only) attempt at Sassy. Sarahlizzie challenged me to write it because she's a sassy girl and it's just WRONG, but I accepted her challenge. There's eensy bits of it in here, but mostly it's just sarcasm, ranting and Dean/Castiel (as it should be). Hope you like.
(By the way, I am actually staring at chapter four of More Than Strangers. It's on my screen, and almost done. Right now. Promise. I've made a goal to finish it by today.)
Sam was alone in the motel room, sighing heavily and flicking through the Pay-per-view, waiting for his brother to return from the bar. Knowing his brother Dean would have finished his 'research' ages ago and was now busy trying to score himself some tail. Fantastic. Maybe Sam would get some luck, finally, in his life and his brother would actually not bring her back to the motel room. It's just awkward when your brother tries to get laid right next to you.
He flicked the TV off when he heard the distinct sound of wings cutting through air, looking up to see Castiel standing at the foot of Dean's bed, staring with a frown at the untouched sheets for a moment before his bright blue eyes flickered to Sam.
"Hey Cas," Sam muttered, running a hand through his hair as he sat up some more on the bed, knowing full well that the Angel wasn't there to see him. "How'd you find us?" Again, he ignored the fact that he was the only one here, using the plural. "Dean's probably not coming back tonight, if you wanted to talk to him."
Castiel merely shook his head, and if anything his frown deepened. "I have not come to talk with your brother, Sam, but with you." He moved, suddenly sitting down on the side of Sam's bed, right next to the younger Winchester. He could feel the muscle of Sam's legs against his vessel's hips and back, took a deep breath before focusing his intense stare on the Hunter. His discomfort was obvious, as was Sam's at the Angel's sudden and unusual proximity – Dean was the one Castiel had personal space issues with, or lack thereof, not him. Sam shifted slightly, wanting to pull his legs away so that he was no longer touching Castiel, but stopped when the Angel placed a restraining hand on his leg, right above his knee. "I have an issue, and I think you will be able to help me with it."
"Um…okay, sure Cas," Sam replied, leaning back against the headboard of his bed, unable to break away from the Angel's intense almost-glare. Damn his eyes are blue. Sam shook the thought away, trying to keep his thoughts entirely platonic; Castiel was Dean's Angel, and Sam was…an Abomination. The Demons' friend. He had no business noticing how close Castiel was, how bright and clear his eyes were, and definitely not how close his lips were; Sam would easily be able to lean forward and kiss him if he wanted.
Still, he held himself back, because Castiel was Dean's, and even though Dean might not realize it, the older Winchester definitely had closeted feelings for Castiel and Sam had no business getting in the way of that. "What do you need?"
Castiel stood suddenly, making lucid thought a lot easier, at least for Sam. The Angel was clearly frustrated; the most flustered Sam had ever seen him. His hands knotted in his vessel's hair, as though he was trying to pull it out, and his frown was heavy on his regularly handsome face. Finally he stopped, rounded on Sam at the foot of the Hunter's bed. For a split second, with his hair in messy disarray and his trench coat flying with the sudden halt of his movement, Sam was reminded of how badass the Angel could be. He hoped to never be on the wrong end of that righteous anger.
"Your brother seems to have been…enjoying female company a lot lately. It is distressing," Castiel said, and almost growled in frustration when he realized that what he had intended to say had come out wrong. Dear Father in Heaven, why is the language of humans so difficult? In Enochian his intended words would have been incredibly easy to bring to mind, but Sam didn't understand Enochian.
Note to Self: Teach the Winchesters Enochian.
Sam sighed, shaking his head lightly. "That's just the way he is, Cas. He's always been like that, right? I mean…don't tell me that Heaven suddenly has a problem with Dean's behavior? I mean…more than usual…"
Castiel sighed again. "That is not what I meant, Sam. I meant…I do not like the fact that your brother is spending so much time in bars, fornicating with women. It makes me…uncomfortable."
It took Sam a moment to understand, and when he did he burst into laughter. "Cas…dude, are you telling me you're jealous?"
The Angel almost looked offended. "Envy is a sin, Sam Winchester. Of course I am not jealous."
"Lying's a sin too, you know," Sam replied immediately with a raised eyebrow, rendering the Angel temporarily speechless, before Castiel sighed once again, biting his lower lip as he broke gazes with the hunter, looked once more towards Dean's untouched bed. He growled again, huffing out a frustrated breath.
Again, Castiel was suddenly sitting next to Sam on the bed, mirroring Sam's pose; back against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. Soon, though, he shifted again so that he was sitting cross-legged, elbows resting on his knees and cradling his head in his hands. It took Sam a moment to realize the Angel was shaking.
"Hey, Cas," Sam murmured suddenly, sitting forward. He frowned, unsure what exactly would be crossing the line in comforting an Angel, but swallowed that uncertainty when Castiel's shaking just increased. The surrealism of the situation wasn't lost of him as he ran a hand over the Angel's shoulders, rubbing along his back like one would do comforting a sick child. "It's okay, really. It's alright to be jealous, you know," he said, quickly feeling at a loss of what else to say. So instead he fell silent, feeling a little better when Castiel seemed to be getting control over his emotions again after a few minutes.
"It is just frustrating, Sam, seeing him with all those women, knowing that they get to have something with him that I will never have." Castiel's voice was so low and quiet that, at first, Sam wasn't sure he'd heard correctly, but once he did his smile was large – about freaking time! And he'd been worried that Dean's feelings were one-sided; if Castiel had come to terms with what he was feeling, that was one half of the problem solved.
Sam had never considered himself much of a matchmaker, but anyone with half a brain could see that Castiel and Dean were meant to be together. Dean was more stubborn than Castiel (though not by much), and Sam had thought he'd had his work cut out for him. Things were getting much simpler. And it was a good thing…after all, with the Apocalypse raging around them his brother and the Angel could use something good going for them.
"Well…why don't you try telling him how you feel?" Sam suggested, knowing that if that was the only problem, it would have been solved by now; the Angel had no problem telling Dean and Sam what was on his mind, definitely more so with Dean. Sam knew that wouldn't be the thing holding him back.
Castiel huffed out another frustrated sigh. He balled his hands into fists, pushing them into the mattress so that his body was lifted, bearing the weight on his arms, and he turned so that he was facing Sam, still cross-legged and settled back on the bed, and the Angel focused his bright stare on the younger Winchester, and Sam suddenly felt like he was a teenage girl, sharing secrets of crushes with her best friends at a sleepover. It was a feeling as weird as it was inappropriate. His mind must be messed up by the four(teen) beers he'd had, and the Angel's ever-confusing personality.
"I have tried. It is difficult. I just look at him and it is like…I can't. My vessel's throat feels dry and no matter how many times I swallow, I lose my voice. I cannot tell him how I feel, I just…It's impossible, Sam. I can rebel against Heaven for him, I can fight off an Archangel, but I cannot tell him how much he means to me, how beautiful he is in my eyes." At that Sam had to smile, because if Dean ever heard himself being called 'beautiful', he'd clock Castiel one. And he was always one for the sappy love confession anyway; that was one of the ways he'd fallen so hard for Jessica. He was a romantic at heart, and this puppy love romance crap just had him grinning like an idiot.
Cas turned his gaze towards the younger Winchester, his eyes wide and blue, his whole demeanor and expression so much like a kicked puppy that Sam had to do a mental 'aww'. "Cas, come on, if it's hurting this bad then you need to tell Dean how you feel. This heartache can't be good for an Angel. Aren't you guys made of love, or something like that?"
"Something like that," Cas repeated, a slight smile gracing his lips for a moment, softening his entire face. "But I can't," he said, turning away once again, eyes landing on the other empty bed. He leaned forward, running his outstretched fingertips along the spread for a moment, as though the action let him feel closer to Dean. "I am committing so many sins even harboring these thoughts, Sam. To act on them? I do not think it is possible."
The heartache in the Angel's voice was just too intense. There was no way that Sam couldn't not help him. But the problem with Dean was that when it came to meaningful relationships he was annoyingly oblivious, and so when considering a supposedly unfeeling Angel of the Lord? Yeah…talk about Mission Impossible. When it came to that Dean was speaking an entirely different language, it seemed; the whole world could see that Castiel and Dean were quite literally meant for each other, but Dean still had to insist that the relationship was platonic only.
But there was one language that was universal, one that Sam knew Dean would understand. It was awkward to suggest, to say the least, but Sam knew that if it worked they would both owe him big.
"Well…I think I might know a way to help you, Cas." The Angel shifted to look at him, hope shining in his large blue eyes. "Um…well…if there's one thing Dean understands, it's territory. If you make him feel like you have other options rather than stay with him, he'll be more open to reciprocate your feelings, if you know what I'm trying to say…"
"Are you suggesting I make Dean jealous?"
"Well…yeah," Sam said, mildly surprised that Castiel had caught on so quickly. He smiled. "If you make Dean jealous he will definitely come to realize how much you mean to him, and he won't let you get away. Trust me, he feels the same way as you do, he just hasn't realized it yet. You need to give him a push."
Castiel cocked his head to one side in that endearing way of his, small frown furrowing his brow. He opened his mouth, about to speak again, before his attention was drawn by the door opening. Dean walked in looking surprisingly sober – and even more surprising, he didn't have a woman (or three) on his arm. He frowned, an emotion flashing obviously across his face when he saw Castiel sitting in Sam's bed, talking to his brother, but almost instantly it was gone again.
"Hey Cas," he said, shrugging off his coat, all amiability and total 'I'm not in love with my Angel' vibes. "What brings you here?"
Castiel pushed himself to his feet, and Sam could easily see the distress in the Angel's eyes before it, too, was wiped away. These two are so made for each other. "I was merely coming to say that I am following another lead on my Father, and I might not be available to contact for several days, perhaps a week."
That made Dean turn. Sam inwardly did a little happy dance at the annoyance, the slight fear on his brother's face. When did he become such an empath? Whatever.
"Wait…what? Where the hell are you going that you can't call us or something? What if…" Dean took a deep breath, clearing his throat, and when he spoke again his voice was much more controlled. "What if something happened to you and you can't…what if we need help? What if you need help?"
It took all of Sam's willpower not to burst into laughter at his brother's very thinly veiled attempt to hide his feelings. Honestly, it would be more subtle if he knocked Castiel unconscious with the butt of his gun and hog-tied the Angel so he couldn't leave. Ever. Again, Sam had to bite his lip hard to keep from laughing. He was pretty sure he tasted blood in his mouth.
The corner of Castiel's lips turned up in a smile, something bright and genuine that, honest to God, the Winchesters had only seen twice, maybe three times and that was usually under some sort of influence or food, or in a random period of human-ness. The Angel stepped forward, and Sam so did not see his brother leaning into Castiel's presence, like a compass to magnetic north. And Dean's body totally did not just relax completely, despite the stare Castiel was giving him, more intense than usual.
"I'll be fine, Dean. I will see you and Sam in a week or so."
And then he did something that wasn't, on the outside, very unusual, but it spoke volumes – Castiel touched Dean. Of course, he does this a lot, with his complete lack of knowledge of 'personal space', so the hand on Dean's arm as he passed wasn't much. But his hand, for the briefest moment, must have touched Dean's burn, on his shoulder, because the older Hunter visibly tensed, eyes flashing as he looked over his shoulder, watching Castiel leave.
Yeah, there was definite puppy-love-yearning in his jade eyes too. Sam smiled and pretended not to notice.
Dean kept looking at Castiel as he left, so he was able to see when the Angel looked over his shoulder, eyes meeting and holding Sam's own, and he smiled once more before disappearing in a half-heard beat of wings.
The older Winchester stared at the empty space a little longer than necessary before heaving a sigh, grabbing the remote from where Sam had left it and flicking on the TV. If he held any amusement at the latest channel choice, it didn't show on his face, which was currently still holding the 'I'll be broken and lost without the Angel on my shoulder because I'm completely in love with his awkward ass' expression.
There was a moment of nothing, the silence filled only with the tinny voice of some over-enthusiastic infomercial spokesperson, before Dean attempted casualness, asking; "So what were you and Cas talking about?"
Sam could practically feel the underlying tension in his brother's voice. His exasperation got the better of him. "Seriously?" he demanded, turning to look at Dean, who at least had the grace to look mildly surprised at Sam's outburst.
"Seriously," he quoted back, shrugging a little as though he totally wasn't thinking about killing Sam in a jealous rage. "I mean, I get it if you and he have a thing but if it's about a hunt or something I want to know."
Yeah, he wasn't transparent at all.
Sam rolled his eyes, but kept his voice neutral as he stared at the infomercial, feigning interest in 'ShamPow!' – the cleaning towel that was twice as absorbent as the next leading brand. "Dude, if it was about a hunt we'd tell you, alright? Just because Cas is your biffle doesn't mean he and I don't talk."
And yes, Sam was acting defensive, but that's just good acting – if Castiel wanted to make Dean jealous, the first thing to do was to make him suspicious. Let Dean think what he wanted – as long as it ended with those two finally getting together Sam was willing to do a lot. The sexual tension was killing him.
Turns out Castiel just couldn't stay away. And Sam could understand that, really; he was, after all, in epic puppy love with Dean and had probably actually been watching the Winchesters the entire time he'd been 'gone', but that was just details. The point was that when Castiel came back, he had a plan.
It was a simple, yet effective plan, tried and true and obviously it worked, if humanity's dedication to rom-coms was anything to go by.
He would make Dean jealous…
…by hitting on Sam.
Or having Sam hit on him, as the case may be. It started out small; little things that even Sam didn't notice – for Castiel had assumed, very wrongly, that Sam would immediately catch on and help Castiel out with his plan. Unfortunately the Angel hadn't taken into account the 'Little Brother' mindset, which was; don't try and take on your brother's girlfriends (or boyfriends, or Angels). It's like forbidden territory. Which was understandable, but very unhelpful and frustrating.
Subtle things weren't working. Or they were, but not as effectively as Castiel had hoped. Sitting next to Sam instead of Dean when they were in a diner having breakfast, for example; that usually ended with Sam sitting as far as physically possible away from Castiel, and Dean shooting him death glares that, frankly, had Castiel feeling guilty. It would be easier if he just played along.
Castiel began to also include Sam much more in the usual Dean-Castiel-staring-match-epic-subtext conversations, which of course eventually turned them into Sam-Dean-Castiel-epic-look-swapping-subtext-ending-in-pissed-off-Dean-guilty-Sam-and-again-frustrated-Castiel, and nothing was getting done.
Finally, Castiel was done with subtlety. It had never been his thing, anyway – the human version of subtle and the Angelic version were obviously very, very different. Of course, this tends to happen when a species isn't used to the most intimate contact that Grace-on-Grace is among Angels – commonplace and welcome, even. Humans save that kind of contact for each other, behind closed doors and away from prying eyes. Which was weird.
So that was how Sam found himself pinning an Angel to a pool table, one hand digging into the wood, the other holding a pool cue which he had been about to use to shoot. Dean, at one end of the bar, snapped his head up, having of course seen the movement, which was Castiel's intention.
Sam was going to pull away, the Angel knew he was, so instead he wrapped a hand around the back of Sam's neck and pulled his down so his lips were by Sam's ear. The poor human was freaking out – logically; Dean was a BAMF when he wanted to be – and even if Castiel couldn't read his thoughts, the mental repetition of 'Shit, don't let Dean be looking' was pretty obvious.
Still, Castiel was determined. He kept the touch intimate, – by human standards, at least – sliding a hand around Sam's lower back, pushing their bodies more closely together. Sam let out a choking sound, hiding his face in Castiel's hair, entire body tense.
"Cas, what the hell are you doing?" he growled, sure that he was seconds away from snapping the pool cue in half.
"I'm making Dean jealous. This was your suggestion, Sam."
"I didn't mean with me!" Anyone who had called Sam a girl in his life would have definitely wanted to hear the high-pitched panicked squeak that was his voice, and would have stated it as irrefutable evidence of his femininity.
Castiel sighed, and didn't miss how the action made Sam shiver. Well, Sam was human…it would be weird not for him to react in any way. Castiel paid it no mind; he had to get his point across, and was tired of subtlety. "Please, Sam. You're the only one I would want to do this with – you're like my family now. I couldn't trust anyone else."
Hearing Castiel's reasoning, Sam relaxed minutely. Okay, point; Sam didn't much like the idea of Cas hooking up with some random stranger. At least this way Sam could be sure that the Angel wasn't getting himself into trouble, and could also be sure that nothing would actually happen. He could deal with that.
"Eesh; warn a guy next time!"
Castiel chuckled, the sound low and throaty and Sam shivered again; damn it. "I would have thought my intention was obvious. It seems you can be just as unobservant as your brother."
Sam laughed, pulling away a little. "Alright; well, we need to commence Stage Two of the plan."
"Stage Two?" Castiel repeated, tilting his head slightly as he met Sam's eyes, which were bright with the relief of knowing that his big brother's Angel didn't want to get into his pants.
Sam nodded. "Yep. Now we have to really show Dean that we're doing something."
"This is not obvious enough?"
Sam shook his head. "Not by a long shot. Besides, with us both still here – with witnesses – he won't do anything. Come on; tell him we're going back to the hotel room…and not to disturb us for a couple of hours."
To his credit, the Angel caught on pretty quickly. The confusion cleared from his face and he smiled – a real smile that Sam alone had never been on the receiving end of, and placed a hand over Sam's heart. "You are a good friend, Sam Winchester." Sam blushed.
He didn't see Dean's reaction to Castiel's news, but judging by the excited and slightly wary look on the Angel's face, he could bet they'd get a visitor in half an hour. Maybe forty minutes if Dean could hold out that long.
No, he couldn't.
It was exactly twenty-three minutes before Sam heard the distinct rumble of the Impala's engine pulling into the parking lot. The engine was cut and Dean slammed the door outside. Sam looked over at Castiel, who was looking, for the first time since the evening started, like he had just poked a sleeping bear and was only now realizing he had just poked a sleeping bear.
"Hey, it'll be okay, Cas. You're an Angel, remember?" Sam said, grinning like a loon. "I'm the one he's gonna kill anyway."
Strangely enough, that didn't make Castiel feel any better about the situation. He bit his lip, frowning as he looked over at Sam from where he sat on the other bed – the one farthest away from the door. "I didn't wish this to end in your death, Sam."
The younger Winchester laughed. "Honestly, man, I think once Dean realizes you two and together he'll be so freaking happy that -." He paused, cocking his head to one side as he sat up. Dean should have entered the room right now. Which means he was either still sitting in the car – but he'd heard the door slam – or he was…
Watching. Cowardly S.O.B was watching.
Well, Sam could give him a show if that's what he wanted.
"He's at the window, isn't he?" he whispered, keeping his back to the door and window. He only hoped Dean didn't deem this situation sufficient reason enough to pull his gun out. That would be an awkward story – not that Sam would know, being dead and all.
"I believe so, yes," Castiel replied, sitting up as well. "I think he means to see us together."
But not how this was meant to go.
"Alright; let's give him something to see." Before Castiel could protest Sam grabbed his arm, pulling him down into the small space between the two beds, kneeling between Sam's spread legs. Clearly seeing Castiel's 'What the Hell?' expression, Sam was quick to ease his fears; "You don't have to do anything, okay? Just let me do all the work."
Then Sam started moaning.
Which is awkward. Very, very awkward. Especially if you're Castiel, who was just kneeling there doing nothing, watching with wide eyes as Sam basically made his own version of a porno audio feed. His hand – meant to look like it was in Castiel's hair – was clutching air about three inches to the left of Castiel's head.
Sam refused to look at Cas while he performed – that just took it to a whole new level, even though he could feel those bright blue eyes on him. It was giving him very obvious and inappropriate images that weren't exactly helpful in the situation, but that he couldn't exactly fight off.
Come on, Dean. Man up and storm in.
All it took was a breathy, gasped-out 'Cas' for Dean to finally start moving, and he was through the door in a second, guns a-blazing. Sam flopped back on the bed at the same time Castiel stood up, leaving Dean to wonder if that door hadn't thrust him into some parallel universe, which his little brother had not been moaning his Angel's name.
"Um…" Well, now the awkwardness had reached its peak.
"Didn't I tell you not to interrupt us?" Castiel's voice was calm, collected – totally not sounding like he'd just given someone a blowjob. Sam, similarly, did not look like he was getting a blowjob. The entire scene was very lacking in the blowjob department, which of course confused Dean, considering what he'd just seen. "It hasn't even been half an hour, Dean. Did something come up?"
"Yes, Dean, did something come up?" Fucking innocent looking Sam, like he hadn't just been moaning like a porn star.
"I just…Um…" Dean looked between the two other men, who were both wearing the exact same expression of someone who knows exactly what you were thinking, exactly why you're here, and are just waiting for you to man up and admit it.
Which was totally not Dean Winchester's style. He didn't back down, even in the face of the obviousness of his jealous nature. But still – no way in Hell, his little brother was getting off with his Angel. That's just…surely there's an Angelic holy rule there somewhere. Angel-Charge relations, or something.
"You just wanted to check in on us. Wanted to see what we were doing, is that it?" Castiel began to advance on Dean who, to his credit, didn't start backing down until the Angel was invading his personal space again. He found himself with his back to the door within seconds. "Wanted to make sure no one was getting up to something behind your back. Because you're a possessive person, Dean Winchester, who doesn't like sharing." Dean could feel Castiel's eyes staring into him, sure that right now the Angel was probably eye-raping his soul and thoughts or whatever. The Angel's Grace crackled underneath his skin, like electricity just below the surface. "Well I, Dean Winchester, am tired of it."
Finally Dean could make himself talk. "What?"
"I'm tired of your bullshit."
Dean didn't know what was more shocking; Cas swearing, or having a sudden mouthful and armful of Angel. Castiel tasted like…well, cliché is unavoidable, like Heaven. He really did – it was all the decadence of finally tasting the forbidden fruit. And yeah, Dean's probably going to regret this like Hell, tomorrow…Tomorrow could wait.
They were just getting to the good part – you know, where you're suddenly so overwhelmed with sensation and emotion that you just have to feel, and have as much of the other person as you can, as close as you can, when Sam cleared his throat.
Damn cock-blocking little brother.
Sam was grinning widely, already shouldering his duffle bag. "I'll get another room. You kids have fun now." He walked past Dean and Castiel, waiting for them to move so that he could actually open the door. "Oh, and by the way, Dean, you're welcome." With that he left, whistling as he headed towards reception.
"I'm going to kill him," Dean growled, turning back to look at Cas, who was smirking slightly.
"Oh, I don't know. I think he's useful."
"Got that right. Who's idea was this, anyway?"
"What idea?" Castiel asked.
"You know…" Dean leaned down for another chaste kiss, whispering the next words against Castiel's lips; "making me jealous."
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. You interrupted a perfectly legitimate meeting between me and Sam," Castiel said, feigning innocence, but his eyes were sparking with mirth and happiness.
"Don't push it." Any more conversation they may have had was lost when Castiel, animal-like and desperate, stole Dean's mouth again with a kiss, hungry and full of the build-up of his emotions, which had been gathering ever since he'd come to realize his feelings for his Charge, his human.
Turns out that no matter how many rooms there are between you and your brother with his Angel, you'll never miss the light show, or the sound effects.
Thoughts? Review? Want to see a little Dean/Castiel make-out-sex scene? I'm more than happy to supply. (: