Flint as an Elite 4 member made him a very busy man. There were times where he would have to fight bitches and hos at a game of arm wrestle. Other times he'd have to beat someone at Truth or Dare. He sure kicked Aaron's ass when he was dared to eat a cone with spiders on it. In fact, he ate one, while sticking another in his ear. Aaron cried.

This time, though, he was sent to The Basement to clean out 357,480 sq. ft. of garbage. Inside this basement had, well, everything. Flint would have to go through holes, boxes, fridges, pools, blizzards, and so on. Needless to say, Flint had to go on a six month hiatus from the world to do his deed.

Before he did, the first and only person he went to tell was Volkner, and he did not take it well. Volkner was an easily bored loner who would call Flint once a day to tell him things such as what exactly he had for breakfast and what kind of chair he sat on. A day without at least listening to sweet nothings from his best friend was like joining a triathlon in your underwear. It was not fun getting a wedgie. Alas, Flint had to go.

After one day without Flint, Volkner changed. There were bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep. He would sit on random objects and shake back and forth. He started growing a beard. He would get only a glass of ice to chug down, which made him choke fifteen times already. Oh, and he took up smoking.

Volkner smoked three packs a day. Because of this, he smelt disturbing, his hair was dusty and greasy, and his teeth was the color of old bananas. His Pokemon wouldn't take orders from him because it was like taking orders from a rapist clown. But, that's all he did besides all the other creepy stuff: just lean back, smoke a ton, and let his ass grow.

He definitely didn't expect someone to be at his door three months later, especially that someone to be Flint.

"Howdy!" Flint exclaimed, but he had to stop in mid-wave. "... What the hell happened to you?"

Volkner couldn't believe his eyes so much that he started crying. Flint had no choice but lead his friend back into his own house and made him sit down on a smoke-filled chair. When he sat, smog puffed out like a fart.

At this point, Volkner managed to utter, "Why are you here so early?"

"Oh, I got the job done," Flint said. "I just set everything on fire. It took three months to sizzle everything, apparently. Now tell me, why do you look like a child molester?"

"I... I," Volkner smiffed. "I don't know!"

Flint slapped him. "I know you're lying to me, Volkner! Hell, even I know! Oh, Volkner. Why couldn't you wait, bro? Why couldn't you?"

Volkner just dug his head into his sweaty palms and sighed in anguish. "I tried, Flint. I tried everything. I sat down many times. I masturbated, but I always end up depressed. I just didn't know what to do, anymore."

Flint gathered his moldy friend into his arms, petted his hair, and sighed himself. "Volkner, everything will be okay. I'm here now. From now on, I'll come over at least twice a week to masturbate with you."



Volkner automatically became delighted as he smiled painfully with chapped lips. He embraced his personal Ronald McDonald with all his strength until he remembered something.

"Uh, Flint?"

"Yes, broseph?"

"I think I have lung cancer."