Summary: The descriptions of the results of the Shiki Fujin weren't entirely accurate. A not so dead Naruto now finds himself at the mercy of his new employers: a creepy headmaster of a school and a toddler who rules over life and death.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Rosario+Vampire, or YYH
On to the Next Great Adventure
Some hero's have great beginnings.
"Ah Shit." blurted the soul of Naruto as he hovered above his lifeless corpse in the middle of nowhere.
For others not so much, sure the teenager expected to die from calling on the power of the Shiki Fujin, but he was supposed to be in the belly of the Death God alongside his perverted sensei battling it out with snake face and all those Akatsuki bastards. Instead he found himself in spirit form hovering high above the battle field littered with all their corpses.
"Ha! You bastards will forever remember this as the day you almost caught the great Naruto Uzumaki!" shouted the blond teenager as he did a celebratory dance.
After training for nearly three years with Jiraiya, one would figure that such an early death would be a disappointment for one Naruto Uzumaki. However, considering he just became a legend by wiping out the most dangerous criminal organization using a combination mass shadow clone jutsu and the reaper death seal, some celebration was in order. The most wanted men in the world, downed by some punk kid and his super perverted teacher. Even the pedophile snake got his just deserts as he had re-aligned himself with Akatsuki in exchange for a quicker means to getting into Sasuke's body. They didn't expect the old pervert and his apprentice to have come up with the ultimate kamikaze middle finger to the Akatsuki in the event they were ambushed. As he watched the only survivors of the battle, the toad summons, depart to tell the tale of his valiant battle only one question came to mind.
"Eh, what happens now?" questioned Naruto aloud as he scratched his head in confusion.
"Sorry, I'm late. I just had to deal with this horrible perverted old man." a cheery feminine voice called out from behind him.
"AHH!" screamed Naruto as he whirled around to face a pretty girl with light blue hair in a pink kimono floating on an oar. His shock subsiding as her statement flashed through his mind again.
"Did he introduce himself with this lame dance and call himself the mighty toad hermit?" he deadpanned.
She nodded yes in response.
"Same old Ero-sennin." Naruto muttered with a light chuckle.
"Ero-sennin..." she giggled, "I believe that fits him quite well. Ah, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm a pilot of the river stix, who guides dead souls to the other side. You don't have worry about any fancy titles, however, just call me Botan!"
"Wait a minute, I thought I was supposed to be in the belly of that big creepy death god guy?" questioned a confused Naruto.
"Oh, that's just the Chief Ogre. He likes to mess with the people who summon him to this realm. Normally you would have gone with the old man after completing that technique, but you are a special case! Just hang on, once we get back there's someone who can explain your ordeal." stated Botan
"Get back where?" asked Naruto.
"To the Spirit World of course! Just hang on!" exclaimed Botan as she glided over and grabbed his hand.
"WHOA!" cried out Naruto as she flew off at high speeds.
The journey to the Spirit World wasn't long, but it did allow Botan to explain some of the basics about the afterlife.
"So do all dead people pass through here?" questioned Naruto as they made their way inside the large doors of the castle.
"Most cases. For the truly horrible souls a portal appears the sucks them into the deepest pits of hell, like most of those men you just defeated." she answered.
"Is that what happened to the kyuubi as well?" Naruto asked.
"No, due to your situation things were a bit more complicated." she vaguely replied.
"So who's this guy that's suppose to explain my situation?" Naruto inquired.
"His name is King Yama, you'd do well to show him some respect unlike you usually do with authority figures." Botan told him in a scolding fashion.
Naruto snorted, "No promises, I call 'em like I see 'em."
"He calls the shots, and he can send you to oblivion if he wants to!" she warned him.
Naruto laughed it off, "Ha! That's only if he can defeat the great Naruto Uzumaki!"
"You do realize that you have lost all of you powers since you are dead." she deadpanned.
Naruto suddenly paled. 'Shit! I was banking on the Sexy Justu!' thought the blond.
As they marched towards a large set of doors, Naruto laughed at the chaos of all the ogres scrambling around trying to get work done.
"Sir, I've brought the boy you requested to see." stated a bowing Botan after the doors closed behind them.
"Where is he?" asked Naruto, looking all around for this mysterious figure.
"I'm right down here." replied a voice from just in front of him.
Naruto looked down to see the toddler form of Koenma waving at him. He doubled over with laughter at the sight, "You didn't tell me the boss was still in diapers."
"I'll have you know I've been fully potty trained for centuries!" retorted Koenma with a tick on his forehead as he moved into his chair.
"Sure and I'm related to the Yondaime Hokage." retorted Naruto.
'As a matter of fact you are. But that's a matter for later.' thought Botan.
"Yes, now I should clear up a misconception with you first of all. Now you were under the impression that the cost of using the Shiki Fujin technique was eternity of combat in the belly of the death god with whatever foe you dragged with you. That is incorrect, a result of a mistranslation as the technique was passed down. The truth is that instead of being judged and passing on to the afterlife your soul is bound in service to my father King Yama or in your case me." said Koenma.
"Wait a minute that means..." began Naruto.
"Yes, all the people you know who used that technique reside here in the spirit world. A few of them wanted to meet you." stated Koenma as he gestured towards the door.
At this statement the door opened and four people entered. He recognized the first even if he did look at bit younger from when he last saw him.
"Old man!" exclaimed Naruto in shock at reunited with the Sandaime.
"Naruto, wasn't expecting to see you pass through here for quite some time. Though I must say I'm very proud of your victory." greeted Sarutobi giving his surrogate grandson a hug.
"You know me old man, had to surpass all the hokage's by not just saving the village, but saving the world!" replied Naruto as he stepped back and gave him a thumbs up. He the turned his head and the second figure he recognized immediately.
"Ero-sennin! How the hell did you get up here before me!" demanded a grinning Naruto as he smacked his sensei on the shoulder.
"What took you so long brat! Get lost? I already found the hot springs..." he was cut off by being bashed in the head by the redheaded woman standing behind him.
"Baka Ero-sennin dattebane!" she muttered. Her antics went unnoticed however as with Jiraiya out of the way, Naruto recognized the man standing behind him.
"Yondaime..." stammered Naruto.
"Hey Na..." started the older blond only to be cut off.
"YOU IDIOT!" roared Naruto as he decked his former home's most celebrated hero with a punch to the face. Everyone just stared at the scene gobsmacked.
"Do you know how much of a pain in the ass that damn fox was? I outta..." Naruto's rant was interrupted as he was glomped by the red haired women who was silently crying.
"Don't worry lady. I ain't going to beat up your husband. I respect the man, but he's still an absolute bastard for picking some random kid to carry the fox." said Naruto as he tried to calm the woman down by embracing her.
"Random kid?" questioned the woman holding him. Minato looked up at Naruto, rubbing his sore cheek as realization dawned on his face.
"I guess neither of them told you. Probably to protect you from my enemies. I didn't pick some random kid, I picked you our son." said Minato as he reached his feet.
He suddenly went slack in his mothers arms stunned, "Son?"
"Yeah brat, these are your parents Kushina Uzumaki and Minato Namikaze." informed Jiraiya.
Suddenly it all came together for Naruto. The pieces in his life fit in place. However, instead of fainting or going on a rampage he twirled his mother around in the air causing her to giggle before setting her back down and doing his second victory dance of the day.
"Take that teme's! Naruto Uzumaki is the son of the greatest Hokage! Oh Yeah!" He suddenly paused in his celebration and stared down Jiraiya with a look that promised pain.
"You've had almost three years you could have told me this! All those damn times you went off peeping!" ranted Naruto as he proceeded to beat the crap out of the toad sage.
"Not the face! Not the..Yes the face! Yes the face!" pleaded Jiraiya as Kushina had joined in on the pervert beat down at the mention of his peeping.
"Teach you to peep instead training your godson! And this for trying to corrupt him!" ranted the redhead.
"Heh! He's definitely our son alright! Looks like me and acts like you!" exclaimed Minato as he pulled his wife and son away from his old sensei.
"You got that right!" giggled Botan.
Naruto suddenly shook free from his fathers grasp turning away from the man with a 'hmph'.
"You're not still mad at me are you? I know..." began Minato only to be cut off by Naruto.
"I'm not mad about the fox." Naruto replied, waving his hand in a dismissive fashion. He turned to face his father with a demented gleam in his eye, "How come I got your lame hair! If I had mom's pretty straight red hair, the girls would have been all over me!"
Kushina blushed at her son's compliment, while a vision of Naruto with straight read hair giving a grin and thumbs up appeared to Naruto and Minato.
"Ah yeah I can see it! You'd look really good, but then you wouldn't have any of my features anymore." said Minato.
"Yeah, I guess I'm already awesome enough as it is!" replied a grinning Naruto.
"Hey how come these two don't get lame nick names!" whined Jiraiya as he pointed at Minato and Kushina.
Naruto snorted, "Cuz, they're not perverted old men like you two or drunken a old hag like Grandma Tsunade."
Kushina doubled over with laughter, "Oh man! You call her Grandma! That's classic!"
Minato shook his head in disbelief, "How you didn't make up here earlier I'll never know."
"No respect I tell you! No respect!" complained Jiraiya to his old sensei.
"Ahem!" coughed Koenma, regathering their attention. "As lovely as this little reunion is we have more matters to attend to. Now, I already explained that as result of the Shiki Fujin technique your soul is now bound in service to the spirit world. This is the case for all your family here, who work here in various capacities. Your case is different, since the deal for the technique is one soul, and your body contained two and we've already taken the fox."
"So what? You're sending me back? I'm not dead yet?" questioned Naruto.
"In a matter of speaking yes. You will be returning to the living world, however not to the one you are accustomed too. Due to the work of the one known in your home world as the Sage of the Sixth paths, I cannot send you back to the shinobi world. The only jurisdiction we have over the passage of souls to and from that realm is via the shiki fujin and one other forbidden technique. To make a long story short, you will be commissioned as a Spirit Detective in a living world where we have jurisdiction." explained Koenma.
Naruto was completely lost, "A spirit what?"
"Yes!" exclaimed Kushina pumping her fist.
"Huh?" Minato looked at her confused.
"You don't get it! Since he's a spirit detective he'll be able to come to the spirit world and see us still!" exclaimed Kushina.
"Oh! And we'll be able to watch over him using the monitoring system!" added Minato.
"Oh no you don't! No spying on the Naruto, that's just creepy! You don't want to be like the old man and ero-sennin do you?" declared Naruto. 'I've already died one time! I'm definitely getting myself a girl, and I can't get anywhere with these two watching over me all the time!'
"Hah! Say goodbye to your freedom gaki!" teased Jiraiya.
"At least I'm not going to be dead." Naruto shot back.
"Ouch! Low blow." comment Minato.
"He deserved it." replied Naruto.
"Sir, don't we already have a spirit detective? Yusuke was just hired a few days ago." questioned Botan.
Naruto was still lost on that part, "Eh, what the heck is a spirit detective?"
Sarutobi dumbed it down for him, "Just think of Lord Koenma as the hokage, and he'll be giving you various missions to fight against demons and monsters."
"I know that! I'm giving him a different jurisdiction. He'll be working for the headmaster at Youkai Academy. Plus now when Yusuke get's in over his head I can send someone even more qualified as back up!" proclaimed Koenma. 'Two birds with one stone! Now that creepy bastard can stop bugging me for assistance and I have something to hang over Yusuke's head!'
An Ogre rushed into the room waving a paper that put an end to Koenma's celebration of his successful plan.
"Lord Koenma sir, there's been trouble!" announced the Ogre as he handed the paper over.
Koenma's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he read it, "This is more than trouble! My dad's gonna kill me!"
"What's happened sir?" asked Botan.
"Three criminals have broken into the King's Vault and stolen the Orb of Baas, the forlorn hope mirror, and the shadow sword. The orb of bass steal's souls, the mirror provides a cryptic power at the full moon, and the sword turns anything it cuts into a demon. One would be bad enough, but all three is a nightmare!"
"Hello? You've got the #1 unpredictable bad ass ninja on your payroll now. This will be a piece of cake!" proclaimed Naruto giving him grin and a thumbs up.
Koenma's eye started to twitch, but Minato saved his son from a rant, "This won't be as easy as you think. Since your body does not possess the kyuubi anymore your chakra is going to be completely out of wack. For the time being you will be limited to your shadow clone technique, substitution and transformation."
"In the end the bastard fox still has the last laugh. I've lost all my new cool jutsu!" raged Naruto as he nearly yanked his hair out in frustration.
"Where is his body?" asked Kushina.
"In stasis right now. Ogre, go have the body of Naruto Uzumaki moved to the living world." ordered Koenma.
"Yes, sir!" saluted the Ogre as he exited.
"Botan, you've been promoted from assistant to manager of these two knuckle heads. I'll go inform Yusuke of his new case and new occasional partner." stated Koenma as he vanished from his office.
"Common, let's go get you prepared for your return to your body." stated Botan.
Naruto rushed over and hugged Kushina, before whispering something into her ear causing her to laugh.
"See ya later Dad, Gramps, and Ero-sennin!" declared Naruto.
Botan grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out of the room, "Stop clowning around, you've got work to do!"
"What did he say that was so funny?" asked Jiraiya.
"Oh just a little of this and that..." suddenly she moved and reappeared next to Minato with two orange books in her hand. "He was right, you did bring your smut with you."
The redhead loomed over Jiraiya with a maniacal gleam in her eye holding the books in one hand and matches in the other.
"Sensei! Minato! Help!" cried out Jiraiya old to find himself being held in a death grip by the two.
"It's your own fault." stated Minato.
"This hurts us more than it hurts you." added Sarutobi.
Jiraiya could only look on in horror as the last remnants of his literature were burned to ash in front of him.
A/N: This will be a Naruto/ YYH/Rosario+Vampire cross. All the action taking place in the worlds of the later two. Parings for naruto will include Botan, and two girls from Rosario to be determined later. First few chaps will be in YYH world before starting to shift between the two.