This was written way back in 2010, and at the time I was worried that it would be too explicit. Obviously, I've learned a lot about this site since then! There are sexual situations in chapter 2, but nothing that would rate above an average-movie "R".
Being a peacock in a duck-filled pond is not an easy thing. You must always remain on the edges lest you venture in too deeply and drown. Ducks do not welcome your strange plumage and larger than life attitude. They feel nervous and threatened, reacting with violence if you dare to get too close. It is easier for everyone if you simply keep your head down and your brilliant feathers folded. Easier, that is, for everyone but you. Ducks rarely notice or care if a peacock is lonely. But every now and then, one of them may surprise you.
Kurt critically surveyed the freshly cleaned clothing draped across the ironing board in the laundry room. Fortunately there was nothing here that required ironing. Just jeans, t-shirts, shorts, underwear and socks. He frowned as he realized that a few of Finn's garments had somehow found their way into his laundry. Finn was quite good at sneaking items into other people's dirty clothes hampers in order to avoid doing the chore himself. Kurt just shook his head, loading everything into the basket for transport downstairs. He really did not care about doing Finn's laundry as long as Finn never tried to return the favor. He could just imagine the resulting disaster to his wardrobe.
He paused a moment before picking up the basket, fanning the T-shirt he wore. It was really hot today and muggy, and he had opted for the comfort of a T-shirt and shorts over anything more stylish. The house had air-conditioning but his various errands had caused him to overheat a little and carting around a basket of dryer-warmed laundry was not going to help. At least he had already taken care of his dry-clean only garments, having picked them up on his way home from running an emergency trip to the hardware store for his father earlier.
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Kurt was rather annoyed to find Finn and Puck already in the room, playing video games on Finn's old television set.
Ever since Finn and Puck had renewed their friendship at the end of the school year, they had been thick as thieves again. Puck seemed to spend more time in Finn and Kurt's shared basement bedroom than he did at his own home and Kurt had learned to tolerate the extra presence. It was not as if he honestly disliked Puck, after all. They had become friendly, if not exactly friends, over the course of a year in glee-club. And he felt sympathy for the other boy. This summer had proven to be a hot one so far, and while that fact was putting a lot of cash in Puck's pocket from his pool cleaning business, the basement of an air-conditioned house hanging out with friends had to be a lot better way to spend free afternoons than sweltering in an apartment with the Mario Brothers.
Besides, Puck had found Kurt's dad a really sweet deal on an above-ground swimming pool.
Kurt's problem with the extra presence was that if Puck was around, the odds were strong that within minutes he and Finn would be talking about women. Having sex with women, wanting sex with women, or just for variety, dreaming about sex with women. It made him uncomfortable. After all, what could he contribute to a conversation like that?
Sure enough, within minutes of his arrival a debate began on which of the girls in Glee possessed the most impressive set of breasts and the best ass. A thorough deconstruction of the topic was well underway when Kurt suddenly could not take it anymore.
"Will you please shut up?"
They looked at him blankly. "What?" Finn said, a confused frown on his face.
"First of all, those girls are your friends, so objectifying them is totally rude. Second, I'm getting a little sick of being treated like the invisible man around here."
"What's with the PMS act, Hummel?" Puck asked him. "It's not like any of the girls can hear us, and as for being invisible, nobody has a gag over your mouth. If you want to offer an opinion, just do it. Who do you think has the best ass in Glee?"
"Matt," he replied promptly, throwing up his hands in exasperation when they both immediately looked grossed out. "See what I mean? You two are always in here, bragging about all of the girls you've scored with or want to score with. I mean, Finn isn't as much of a dog as you are, but he's had two steady girlfriends and a one-night stand, this year alone. Plus there are plenty of other girls who would stand in line to be next and we all know it."
Both boys looked smug, exchanging a high-five.
Finn grinned sheepishly at his glowering roommate. "Dude, it's not like we can help being studs."
"That doesn't mean I want to hear all about it!"
Kurt chucked a pair of Finn's rolled up socks at him, bouncing them right off the other boy's forehead and causing Puck to guffaw at the startled look on his face.
"What is your problem?" Finn demanded.
"My problem?" he repeated. Frustration rose in his voice, making it annoyingly shrill as he said, "Do you have any idea what it feels like to know that either one of you can practically get laid just by smiling at a girl? Especially when I know that I'm probably going to be 19, graduated and living in a whole other city before I even get kissed? Never mind anything more than that!"
"I thought you and Brittany . . ."
He cut Finn off with an impatient slashing gesture. "She and I made out a little, yes, but it didn't mean anything. Brit is my friend and she did her best, but she's a girl. Much as I wish otherwise, girls just don't do it for me and I hate how much that freaks everybody out."
They stared at him silently, apparently not quite sure what to do with the unexpected outburst, and Kurt sat down heavily on his bed, feeling suddenly defeated.
"Sooo," Puck said, dragging out the syllable. "Other than kissing Brittany, you've never done anything? You're, like, total pure-white untouched goods?"
Kurt felt his face burning. "What do you think?"
"I never thought about it at all."
"Surprise, surprise," he snapped. "No boy ever does unless he's having a heart attack over the idea that I might be checking him out. And just so you know, I'm usually not. Being gay doesn't make me some perv lusting after every guy I see."
He could not quite look at Finn as he said this, knowing full well that he had given in to the enjoyment of more than one fantasy starring his now-close friend.
"But not having the opportunity doesn't mean you don't want it just like a regular guy, right?" Puck asked, with a level of interest that made Kurt sorry he had ever broached the topic. Totally ignoring Finn's punch in the arm encouraging him to end his line of questioning, Puck added, "Queers do get wet-dreams and surprise boners and shit like that, don't they?"
Casting him a scowl over his phrasing, Kurt crossed his arms over his chest. "Of course. I'm still male."
"So, what would you do if you could? I mean, is it all about wanting to take it up the ass, or what?" Puck persisted. Turning to Finn, he said, "Quit hitting me, dude! He wanted to be part of the conversation; I'm giving him the chance."
Finn winced. "Sorry, Kurt. You might as well answer the question. He's not going to give up now that you've got him thinking about it."
Feeling horribly embarrassed, but at the same time weirdly flattered by Puck's clumsy efforts at inclusion, he said, "I don't know if I want . . . that . . . or not. I'm not sure anybody goes right to that step. Aren't there usually a few bases to run before you score a touchdown?"
"Home Run," Finn corrected.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I know."
Puck grinned. "Did you just use a sports-metaphor? And make a joke?"
He shrugged. "I'm a regular multi-tasker."
Puck laughed. "Cool. And yeah, there's definitely other things you might want to experience; hand-jobs, blow-jobs, humping with your clothes on. Hell, just making out with somebody that really turns you on, for starters."
"Which brings me back to my original problem," Kurt reminded him dryly.
"Don't worry about it," Finn cut in, obviously wanting to get this conversation over with as fast as possible. "You'll find somebody eventually, and sex with somebody who doesn't care about you isn't good anyway. You aren't missing anything."
Puck looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "Have you completely lost it? I got nothing against love and relationships and stuff; they're cool and all; but meaningless, no-expectation sex is the bomb. Just you and her, or him I guess in Kurt's case, getting all hot and sweaty for each other and just giving in to that feeling? Dude, there is nothing better than that."
Finn smacked the back of his head. "Way to make him feel better about the lack of prospects, Puckerman."
"Oh," he said, blinking as he looked at Kurt and realized that Finn had been attempting to bandage the wound while he had just rubbed salt in it. "Sorry."
Surprising himself, Kurt laughed. "It's okay. I'm not fooling myself that Prince Charming is going to come riding through Lima any time soon. I just get a little tired of hearing you guys talk about sex all the time when I'm probably going to die a virgin."
Recognizing the sarcasm this time, Puck just grinned and tossed him a game controller. "We'll try to cut you some slack. Meanwhile, see if you can't blow away a few space turtles. It'll make you feel better."
Abandoning the remainder of his clean laundry, Kurt crossed the room and jumped onto Finn's bed hard enough to bounce him off onto the floor. All three of them laughed, rearranging themselves to be comfortable as Kurt took a turn at Super Mario World.