Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does… maybe someday I'll eat the books and say I 'pwned' them, ha ha!

Partial T rating.


50 Ways To Annoy The Famous Hatori Sohma

1. Call him a sea whore-se

2. Ask him if he's pregnant

3. Then ask him why he's so fat

4. Ask him weather Shigure or Ayame's the mommy

5. Introduce Ayame to coffee and then tape him the ceiling of his bedroom

6. Add a microphone to the situation and a speakers all around the house

7. Force him to wear tights; just tights

8. Tell Ayame he wants to order a lace thong and maid outfit

9. Set it up so he's watching porno when Ayame and Shigure burst through the door

10. Trash talk Kana

11. Order him Playboy

12. Introduce Momiji to COFFEE

13. Sit in his office and play trumpet as LOUD as you can

14. Replace all his clothes with Ayame's maid outfits

15. Get rid of EVERYTHING he could use to cover up so he's forced to wear them

16. Take pictures

17. Put them on the internet

18. Put him in emo-therapy (nothing against emo)

19. Tie him to a chair and give him a five-hour 'Cutting is bad' lecture (nothing against emo, if you find this offensive please message me)

20. Start a big fight between Hatsuharu, Kyo, Yuki, and Kagura in his office.

21. Convince Ayame and Shigure he's gay

22. Also convince them he's seriously in love with Kureno

23. Make sure Kureno also knows this

24. Help Ayame and Shigure try to set up Kureno and Ha'ri

25. Blast Kesha songs while he's trying to work

26. Blast 3OH!3 songs while he is very busy

27. Blast Lady Gaga songs while he try's to fill out paperwork

28. Sing LOUDLY

29. And out of tune

30. Convince Shigure, Ayame and Momiji to join your 'symphony'

31. Ayame can 'play' piccolo

32. Shigure can 'play' Trumpet

33. Momiji can 'play' violin

34. You can 'play' oboe

35. Practice at his house

36. Ask him to overview your 'homework' constantly; even after he agrees to

37. Make sure the 'homework' is gay porn

38. Accompanied by pictures on the next page

39. And it's actually exerts from Shigure's books

40. Have conversations with Shigure in Spanish; keep looking over at him, so it looks like you talking about him

41. Giggle frantically during this conversation.

42. Sing/scream 'shut up and sleep with me' in his ear

43. Shigure should help sing the chorus

44. Ayame should 'dance'

45. And design the costumes

46. Build a sand castle in his office; remember this requires SAND

47. Through him a birthday party

48. Crumple up all his work papers

49. Buy him a fish tank full of 100 chatty sea horses

50. Create the Follow-Hatori-Everywhere-He-Goes club, and invite Momiji, Shigure, Ayame, Akito, Kana, and Kagura to it


Auhtors Note: I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED UNTIL NOW! I SHOULD DIE! Anyway hope you enjoyed, if you found this one to pervy sorry. I just figured it would annoy him the most because Shigure and Ayame are like that! I am still working on Tohru...

P.S. Baby bibs and guns is finished!