Title: Accidental Arson
Characters: Dan, Blair
Rating/Word Count: PG / 864
One-Line Excerpt: What had started out as an innocent friendly gesture somehow ends up with Dan Humphrey in a darken room with Blair Waldorf.
A/N: A ficlet I did for the burnthiscity challenge on lj.

"I was drunk."

She had exactly seven vodka shots and two and a half glasses of champagne.

"And you took advantage of me!" she accuses.

He vaguely remembers her being the one who took his hand and dragged him into the closet.

"This never happened!"

What had started out as an innocent friendly gesture somehow ends up with Dan Humphrey in a darken room with Blair Waldorf.


She was all moody and dejected from her latest blowout with Chuck and for some idiotic reason he had attempted to cheer her up. Blair translates 'cheering up' into 'doing vodka shots in the study and arguing over various and numerous literati'.

Despite what he often professes, she's not always the worst of company. And besides, it gave him a break from fetching ice for her mother.

In between his sixth shot and her seventh, they notice Chuck and some tall blonde in a dress that looks more like a top sneaking into the adjacent deserted guestroom. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was their heated discussion about Anna Karenina, but something stirs in Blair and before he knew it they were snooping on Chuck and his latest conquest.

Her expression was so vulnerable and so very much unlike the Blair he's used to seeing that for a brief moment he forgets that she's the ice cold Queen B of the Upper East Side.

When Chuck moves in for the kill, she decides she's seen enough and turns abruptly away. In the process, she runs smack into him and they knock over a candle. Unbeknownst to Chuck and his bimbo it rolls through the gap of the open door and lands by the curtains.

"Look at what you did!" she whisper-yells at him.

"Me? You're the one that bumped into me!" he retorts.

"What are we going to do?"

She tries to look around the room nervously, trying to find something to put out the candle discreetly, but finds nothing that wouldn't require the revelation of their presence and she's had enough public humiliation for one day, thank you very much. All the while, the flame on the candle was igniting the curtains.

"Do you smell something?" the blonde inquires while kissing Chuck.

"No. Ignore it," Chuck replies, his hand on her thigh.

By now the fire had grown from a bit of smoldering to some actual flames.

"Do something," she begs him.

Blair looks quite freaked out and so in a desperate act, Dan pulls the fire alarm.

Cold water from the sprinklers instantly douses Chuck and his guest while effectively putting out their little arson problem. She watches in silent delight as Chuck's skank goes running out of the guestroom with shrill shrieks.

She pulls him into a closet just as Chuck and some sort of personnel rush into their room to check on the fire alarm. They both hold their breath as Chuck and the hotel staff goes about looking for the explanation for the sprinklers. The employee finds the smoking candle by the curtains and tells Chuck that he might have knocked it over while engaged in 'intimate activities' with the blonde woman. Chuck argues back that there were no candles in the room and goes on to call the staff incompetent among other rude things.

When they hear Chuck's and the personnel's retreating footsteps they both release a sigh of relief.

"We got away with it," she states in disbelief before breaking into a grin.


He's still a little bit shell-shocked, but the bright smile on her face is contagious. He has the sudden urge to hug her just as she goes to press a kiss on his cheek. Because he was leaning forward to hug her the kiss lands on his lips instead.


This brings them back to where she's making up excuses for their accidental lip lock. They both agree to forget it ever happened and walk back out to the party in awkward silence.

Just as he's about to make some sort of an excuse to leave, she surprises him by being out of character for the second time that night.

"Thanks… for putting out the fire, Humphrey."

The way the hallway chandelier light shines softly on her as she smiles up at him makes him think he wouldn't mind burning down the whole freaking city if only she continued to look at him that way.

She ruins the moment when she scowls at him.

"If anyone asks we weren't anywhere near that room. Agreed?" she says in her usual bitchy voice.

He nods in compliance.

"Well then… I guess that means good night."

She dismisses him with a flippant wave of her hand.

"Good night, Blair," he sighs in return.

He must have drank a lot more than he thought.


As the elevator doors close, obscuring Dan Humphrey's face from her view, her mother comes up from behind her.

"I didn't know you and Dan were such good friends."

"We're not," Blair returns simply.

"Hmm… that's a shame. I sort of like him. He's very obedient," Eleanor muses.

As her mother walks away Blair realizes that Dan Humphrey does have a few good points.