Bereavement

She said that I always the one who left behind, the one who always doesn't want to be influenced in a plan that I have made by myself. She said that the only thing that I do is commanding my friend and her to do this and to do that. The one who always be a mastermind from a plan, whose work is always thinking about the best way to do something, not wanting to be involved in the scheme. Maybe she though I am the coward, who always hides behind my friend. But no, it is not, I am not. She should know that I am involved and I am not a coward. I told her that she still needs me in a plan, and without me, she won't do the right thing. She just sighed in defeat and lowered her head.

That is the first think that is popped up from my head.

By the time to time, in just three seconds, I remember that I used to be an intellectual man, who always thinking critically, until I got my answer which satisfies me. Right after that thought flew through my mind, my brain began to arrange a new word, no… I mean a new sentence… a question.

Where am I?

I don't know how I ended up here, in this stupid awkward place. It's dark, there is no any beam of light emanated from the original sun, or maybe from the usual lamp. I could not see a thing, not now.

Or is it just my eyes?

My eyes are extremely heavy to be stayed opened, as if it has so many burdens to be born, not like something that you can imagine. This is not a usual burden that you have when you got a problem with your mother, or maybe with your girlfriend. It is… as if my body will stop working in no time.

It's rough.

The ground beneath me is rough… dusty too. I am not a clean boy, but this dust made me fed up for a little bit. As though this dust brings back stupid, idiot memory, or what? This dust caused me this pain? No. Dust is something useless and it will not hurt you.

Or maybe it will?

Maybe I should stop being paranoid.

Me? Paranoid?

Keh.

This place… It is not a good place to have a rest though. The air is… thin and stuff… full of dust too.

Dust, dust again.

I remembered dodging a beam of light from a huge creature. No, not a usual creature that you see in the air, or down in the water, it feels like it is legendary. It is angry, spreading its rage by releasing its blast of electric light everywhere uncontrollably. The beam caused so much destruction, vanishing everything that blocked it to the sphere of light. I remembered. Jumping, dodging, until suddenly, I could not see a thing. The creature is… massive… black… red eyes… black wings… strong… I am here, resting on a stone, battered.

It is beyond God like.

Heh. Since when have I admitted that God is existed?

The only thing that is not right here is not only the surrounding. It is about me too. My head is throbbing hard… very dizzy, as if it is ready to explode in no time. I could feel a red liquid is flown to my head, body, legs, all part of my body.

Red liquid?

Blood.

My body… It is still in one piece, but I could feel my legs and my arms. They are paralyzed by something strange. I lost the feeling in my arms and legs. The only thing I could do is wait my time before I die.

…die… Am I really going to die?

I still could not know why I ended up here, in this messy place which I hate so much. I remember that someone… woman…older than me gave me an errand to capture something… Damn. This headache made me can not think properly. My world is whirled just like a spiral My eyes are blurred. I am… in pain. Maybe I should ask somebody to help me.

There is no one here. Ask who?

Oh, yeah. I remembered something too. I remembered a pink baseball cap. Not something that is usually wore by the boys, because of its pink color. It is used by a girl. Young girl… Blue eyes… The same age as me…I got a feeling that this girl is as important as me. The one who always be by my side.

Crap. It's very suck to be remembered.

Hey, since when had I cursed?

There are voices, echoing in this weird dark place, creating a creepy aura, but weirdly for me, a happy aura for me. As though the voice made me feel better, made me feel that I am not the only one here.

Man… What am I thinking about?

I could see a woman with long pony tail and pink cap is running to me. Even though I could not see it clearly, thanks to my blurred eyes and dizziness in my head, I could barely know that she is worried about me. She is wearing white shirt without sleeves which is covered by the black vest, and the short jeans could be seen completed her outfit.

She seems injured by something, I could see some scratches on her legs and arms, her vest is torn a little bit. Her face is full of fear and sadness as she is running toward me. I could faintly see her ocean blue eyes. It is not usual eyes which are decorated her. It seems that she is full of fear. I hope she does not hurt.

Man. I should stop worrying about her. My body is far worse than her.

Maybe it is because of my instinct.

Me? Instinct?

Funny…

I could barely hear another soft voice. A creature. No, a Pokemon. I should stop calling that thing creature. It is just like an otter, with blue ears and small body. Its abdomen is in white color and it seems to be worried about my condition. Whose Pokemon is that anyway?

But that Pokemon is none of my concern now, the girl is.

Who is she?

I remembered her. I could feel her present even though we are far away. I now that I know her so well, even I could read her mind just like a book. We have been best friend for a very long time. It kind of scary though, to think a boy like me would be so near to a girl, but it gave me a warm feeling too, I am not alone in this stupid world.

Stupid?

I should stop cursing before I die.

…die…that word again… am I really going to die?

No. Not now. Not yet.

My head began to whirl again, as if it does not let any memory for me to remember. I know. My time is limited. I must cherish it before I go to heaven or to hell.

Heaven? Hell? Since when do I believe in God?

Wait. What is it? Water? I could hear her voice, calling for my name. Even though I know, it is very impolite and sickening for me not to reply her call. She is calling my name… What's my name again? Black? Oh well, that's a very weird name. But I have a feeling that it suits me though. Simple, yet easy to remember.

Importantly, tears?

No! She must not let her tear dropped again from her ocean blue eyes. Come on, you know that I don't like to see you cry, especially when you see a useless man lying on the ground, letting his soul and body thinned by time to time. No, you can't. You should save your tears… No, don't let that tears flow again.

Useless? I could be a humble man, I think.

More liquid, blood.

It leaves me some guilt that I could not remember her name, to think that she calls my name continuously and endlessly now. Her voice is extremely worried, and her ocean eyes don't let my body to get away from her. It made me more stupid. Who am I, making a girl, my childhood friend girl cry like this?

Memory… Where are you going?

Ah, I remembered again now. Our disposition is extremely different. I remembered that she is a lively girl from my home town, but she is a good girl. For me, people keep calling me a smart looking young man, even though I could not know is it true for me, and I don't know whether I am good in the eyes of my friend or not. I don't care about this too much though, but I think I should think about it in the edge of my life.

…die…I am really going to die.

Oh no… My vision… It began to fade away. But no! I could not leave this world yet! I must at least remember her name, and call her name before I die. I hope I do that thing fast. I don't know how long my body will resist this pain.

Even I want to release this pain hastily.

But not now, not yet…

I could feel a touch on my hands. Her touch. She is touching with tears still dropped from her eyes. I don't know what to say though, I am mute now, and my brain keeps concentrating so I won't leave this world now, before I remembered her name. I could feel that she is shivering. She really is worried about me. It's very different from her usual personality.

I can't say that I don't like her traits, but her lively disposition annoyed me sometimes, and we will argue about something, even though it is a small thing. I still hope that we could argue again, for the last time, remembering our past life. Mijumaru, my sea otter Pokemon will always look at me with naughty look when I did that.

Oh, yeah. That's the Pokemon's name. Eventually, a name.

No, not yet! I could not leave this place just because I remembered the name of a Pokemon. At least I must know her name. I like this girl's disposition even though because of this we always argued. That disposition… lively?

Yeah… That face… Those eyes, full of innocence, pure heart and soul, just like what I liked from her.

Your name… Your name is…

Author's notes:

I know it is quiet saddening when I wrote this, but this is my idea which is popped from my mind, so pretty please.

I'm not a native speaker, so your review is gladly accepted.

Review!