Hiccups are primarily involuntary.
Magic is primarily voluntary, with involuntary side-effects.
What happens when Kaitou accidently mixes the two?

By Icka! M. Chif


A flock of birds flew twice around the classroom before flying out the window.


The piece of chalk in the teacher's hand turned into a bouquet of flowers.

Kaitou frowned.


Several students' hair turned various strange bright colours.

"Try holding your breath." Aoko leaned over and whispered. Kaitou nodded and did so.


Kaitou turned bright blue.


Several iridescent fish swam thru the air.

Kaitou flipped around so he was sitting in his chair upside down, still holding his breath.


A wave of mice charged the teachers desk and disappeared, causing several students to scream and jump on to their desks.

Akako looked vaguely amused.

"Kuroba!" The teacher snapped.


A duplicate of the ceiling in Sistine Chapel appeared on the ceiling. Many of the faces had been replaced by members of the class.

"He's been trying to get rid of them." Aoko said, looking worried.


A bird outside the window turned into a cat. It promptly fell out of the tree. Fortunately, this was a short drop and it landed on it's feet. It paused for a second, shook it's head and padded off.

Kaitou righted himself, sitting right-side up again. He was still blue, his hair was a mess and he looked vaguely displeased.

Akako smiled.

"Go to the nurses office!" The teacher snapped. Kaitou opened his mouth.


Streamers, balloons and banners flew out of his mouth, decorating the classroom. "I'm banned from there." He reminded her.

The teacher sighed. "Aoko, can you-?"


Several people's socks suddenly decided to do an impromptu puppet show under the tables.

Akako quietly snickered.

"Just a minute." Aoko walked to the back.


Kaitou opened his mouth to ask what was going on and a girl's voice singing the American Oscar Meyer Weiner song came out instead.

"KAITOU!!!!!!!" Aoko came charging at him with a mop.


Girl's underwear started to fall from the ceiling like rain as Kaitou quickly back-pedalled to avoid his furious friend.


The underwear turned to Sakura blossoms and littered the classroom.

Kaitou slipped on some pedals and fell down backwards.


A kappa walked by.

Akako giggled.

"Never mind, that's not going to work." The teacher sighed. "Thank you, Aoko."

Aoko shrugged and returned the mop.

"What about putting a bag over his head?" Someone mused. A brown paper bag was quickly emptied and placed over his head.


The lights went out.

Akako put a hand over her mouth to muffle her giggles.

"That's not going to work either."

The bag was quickly taken off his head.


The lights came back on, but now teacher's desk was gone.

"Have you tried drinking some water?" The teacher asked, not noticing the desk vanishing. Kaitou shook his head, holding his breath again.

One of the students with brightly coloured hair offered him some juice. He nodded his thanks and attempted to drink it.


Water started to pour out of his ears like a fountain.

Akako put her other hand over her mouth, still trying futilely to muffle the giggles which were threatening to break thru.

"That's not going to work either." Aoko sighed.


Aoko's clothing and hairstyle changed to a geisha's formal attire. She blinked, surprised. Several girls made envious comments.

"It appears there's only one thing to do then." The teacher sighed. "You're too disruptive here. I'm going to have to send you home."


The teacher's desk returned, painted neon pink. The teacher quickly scribbled a note and handed it to him. "I expect to see you back here tomorrow morning, WITHOUT these hiccups."

Tears started to form in Akako's eyes.

Kaitou nodded, collecting his stuff. "Thank-"


"-You." An egg fell out of his mouth, fell on the ground and cracked open. A small dragon crawled out, blew a small jet of flame at the students and then flew out the window.

Akako doubled over, trying hard not to laugh.

The teacher just waved it off. "Please, just go. Now."

Kaitou nodded and walked out the door.


A herd of ostriches ran by and carried him away with them.

Akako fell out of her chair, her laughs finally breaking free.

"Sensei?" Aoko asked, looking concerned as the iridescent fish swam around her head. "Why are you banging your head against your desk like that? Sensei?"


Every so often I really have to wonder....