Hey guys! I was watching Glee, and it's my favorite show ever. I just don't think Rachel and Finn have the same chemistry Jesse and Rachel have. Maybe it's because I'm a huge Spring Awakening fan, although I do disagree with everything Jesse did in Funk. He acted like a total jerk :) (I do not own Glee or any of the characters nor do I own Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson) Anyways, I was in my mom's car, listening to my IPod and this song came on, and I thought it fit the two perfectly. I know it's stupid to chnage things, but I don't want to make it summer yet, so let's just pretend this takes place in the middle of spring, but still after Journey takes place. I'm not too sure what I'm going to do with this yet, so depending on whether I get reviews or not, I may or may not continue this and make it multi chapter. So R&R ;)

It had been exactly 36 days. She wasn't sure why she was still counting. It was ridiculous. She had tried to convince herself over and over again, that she was way over him, but was she really? She shook her head rapidly. Of course she was. She was Rachel Berry, and Rachel Berry was not a weak little girl. Or at least she didn't want to be.

"Hey Rachel." Finn greeted with that same crooked grin. It was funny how she used to be so mesmerized by that grin. Before, she would've done anything for him, but now...it was as though she was immune to it. In fact, her relationship with Finn now, wasn't what she had expected at all. What she had expected, after HE left her and New Directions, was to instantly fall for Finn again, the way she had before. For some reason, she just hadn't felt that same sensation she felt with Finn before Jesse. She cringed as she pictured the boy she once loved in her mind. Who was she kidding? She still loved him.

"Um...Rachel? Hey Rachel!" Finn called in a worried tone, as he waved his hand in front of her face. She snapped out of her thoughts, and focused on the boy in front of her.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I was just...you know...thinking." She replied quickly. Finn, being himself, seemed satisfied with the answer. That was one thing she might've still liked about him. He didn't try and barge into her thoughts, and he didn't press on any further. But, she knew it wasn't because he was giving her her own space or time to think. She knew it was only because he didn't suspect what she was thinking. He had no idea, although it was pretty much obvious. He might've been the only one who didn't know that she was not over HIM.

"Do you wanna do something tonight?" He asked casually. She shrugged and snatched another book from her locker, placing it on the pile in her arms. "A movie and dinner maybe?"

"Sure. Pick me up at 6:00?" He nodded, flashing her another crooked grin before walking off down the hallway. She her head fell foward, banging against the locker door. Maybe if she waited just a little longer, that sensation she used to feel around Finn would come back. Maybe she just needed to give it time. Or maybe not. She shook off the negative thoughts and slammed her locker closed. She let her head drop and took a deep breath. Rachel Berry was now ready to face another day.

36 days. Of course he still counted the days since that awful mistake he made. Why wouldn't he? It was the dumbest thing he could've possibly done in his whole entire life. And he used to think he was too good to make mistakes. If he did believe in psychics, he would've wished he were one. Maybe then he would've known how big that mistake really was, and actually stopped himself from doing it. He lost so much from it, and hardly gained anything. Sure, he still had his scholarship, but if he had the chance to take it back, he would do that anyday. If only he knew before what he knew now.

He obviously hadn't known how hard he had fallen for Rachel. When Vocal Adrenaline won regionals, he hadn't felt the way he wanted to feel after another victory. In fact, he hadn't even felt the slightest bit happy. All he could remember, was looking towards New Directions, and seeing the look of dissapointment and hurt strewn across her face. Congratulations Jesse you have officially taken everything you could from her.

The only thing he could possibly want now, was Rachel back in his arms. But he knew that it was too late for that now. That would be asking too much. Now, she wouldn't even look at him. Not that he had seen her since Regionals, but he just had a feeling. Why had he been so stupid and chosed Vocal Adrenaline over Rachel? He honestly didn't care about the other members of Vocal Adrenaline. They might've worshipped the ground he stood on, (Obviously because he was better than them) but none of them mattered to him. Rachel mattered to him, but all he thought of at that moment was the damn stupid scholarship and his stupid future.

He sighed and took a deep breath, getting his show face ready. Now Jesse was ready to face another day or regret.

Rachel released another strand of hair from the curling iron, and flung it over her shoulder. It was funny how her dates with Finn never seemed to make her nervous...at least, not the way Jesse's did.

When Finn broke up with her for Santana and Brittany, how long did it take her to get over it? A few days at most. Was that because she'd found someone new? Jesse? Maybe so. Then why couldn't she get over Jesse now that she had Finn? Wasn't it just like before?

The doorbell sounded and she raced to it, as she had many times before. Maybe she was trying to convince herself that she loved Finn like she had before. Maybe if she kept acting like she was as excited and nervous as she should be, she would be. She turned the door knob and stopped dead at the sight of what was behind it. Rachel Berry the girl who could never stop talking for her life was speechless for once.

"Can I come in?" It had taken her a few seconds to finally get the words through to her brain, and when they had she couldn't decide on how to answer. It had taken everything she had to stop herself from saying yes, although she knew in her heart and mind, that it he didn't deserve a yes.

"No." She hadn't thought up what to say next. Half of her wanted Jesse out of her sight immediately and to never see him again, but the other half of her wanted him to stay a while...maybe even forever. Both sides wanted answers, but she wasn't sure yet if she was ready for that. After all, she was pretty sure the answers would end up being something cruel. She knew he had no feelings for her, or ever did.

"You look beautiful." She snorted.

"I'm going on a date with Finn tonight." She hissed in reply. For a second she could've sworn she saw a hint of sadness and regret in his expression. A flaw in his act. Maybe jealousy? She shook off the thought, convincing herself that she was just paranoid. She was just mixing up her fantasies with reality. "What do you want?"

"There are some things that need to be said or rather explained."

"I don't want to hear it." Rachel cried. She soon realized that she said that a little too quickly, she was losing her cool. "At least not now."

"Then when? When will I ever get the chance to make things right?" Now he just seemed irritated by those 4 words. He had decided a little while ago that it was 'now or never', but now it seemed more like it would be never, whether he had chosen to confront her or not.

"Things will never be right between us. Don't you see? You had your chance before you broke my heart. You could've made things right then, but you didn't. You could've just told me the truth." She was now becoming hysterical, but did she care? No. "I don't see why you thought you could waltz in here and expect me to give you another chance. Just leave." It took everything she had to keep herself from breaking out into sobs. She would never let him see her in tears again. He didn't deserve even that.

"Even if I leave now. I will never leave from your life. Never again." He didn't think he would be able to live without her. At least a happy life.

Finn pulled up into the Berry's driveway, slamming the door closed, with his signature crooked grin plastered on his face. He rang the doorbell and waited a few seconds. He frowned and rang it again. After several minutes, he finally figured something was wrong. The lights were on in the house, but no one was answering the door. Maybe Rachel just couldn't hear it. Yeah, that was it. There were tons of times, when he had the volume on his speakers up real high, and was oblivious to everything else around him.

He figured that it'd be fine if he just went in. After all, he knew the door was unlocked. He reluctantly opened the door, only to find Rachel lying across the floor, face in hands, crying her heart out. He was instantly confused, but worry was the main emotion controlling his actions.

"Rachel! Are you all right?" A small smile came across her face, but only lasted half a second, before being replaced with more sobs. What a stupid question. Did she look okay? It was just like Finn, yet it was still quite funny.

He held her close to him, rubbing circles on her back. At first, her sobs seemed endless, but after a while they became only hiccups. When she finally was able to speak she honestly didn't know what to say. If she didn't say anything he would get suspicious, but she didn't want to tell him the truth. If this were to be kept a secret, she wanted to share it with anyone but him.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked, stroking her back. As a natural born actress, it didn't take her long to think of a good lie.

"My dad's work friend died today. She was like a mother to me." What a lie? Her dads never let her into their work, They always had said it wasn't something she would be interested in, and she couldn't agree more. Finn seemed to buy the lie, and continued storking her back.

"It's gonna be alright." He whispered in her ear, pulling a strand of hair away from her face. She pretended like his comforting helped her "problem", and after a few hours, he was off. She was finally alone to cry as much as she wanted.

She slipped under the protection of her covers, not bothering to change or do much of anything, and began sobbing. Why now, out of all times, did her dads have to be out for the night? She grabbed her phone off her bureau, and texted the last person she ever thought she'd confide in. Quinn Fabray.

"Really? After all that bastard did to you, he actually had the nerve to come back?" Quinn confirmed incredulously. Rachel nodded, wiping the fresh tears rolling down her face. She was glad she asked Quinn to come. Unexpectedly, Quinn had been nice, although they'd never been the greatest friends, now it looked as if they were best friends. Unlike the other girls in New Directions, Quinn knew how to keep a secret. After all, she lived with the secret of her pregnancy until Puck spilled to the rest of the glee club.

"Just when I thought I was on the way to finally getting over him, he comes right back to rub it in my face."

"If I knew where he lived, I'd get Puck to teach him a lesson." Quinn replied, gritting her teeth. Rachel had a horrified expression on her face and gasped. As much as she tried to tell herself she hated Jesse, she knew she just couldn't. She'd rather not have Puck beat the heck out of him.

"Please tell Noah that that won't be neccessary. I don't know where he lives either." She lied smoothly. She brushed her hair back and took a deep breath.

"You told him you didn't want to see him, right?" She nodded. "Then he won't come back."

"About that..." Rachel bit deeper into the flesh of her lip. "He told me he wouldn't give up on me."

"Do you want him to give up?" Quinn asked in a worried tone. "Because I can take care of that for you. In fact, I want to take care of that." The now slender former cheerleader cracked her knuckles and grinned mischeviously.

"He does deserve that, but no thanks." Rachel laid back onto the floor and stared at the Wicked poster on her wall. "Sooner or later, I will have to talk to him. Just because I can't live without knowing whether he was playing me from the very beginning or not."

"Either way, he played you Rachel. You can't forgive him. Don't give into him. You're a strong independent woman." Rachel let out an easy going laugh.

"Who said I was going to forgive him? That's just about the last thing on my mind."

"Do you love Finn?" Rachel dug her tooth into her bottom lip. Why that out of all the questions did she have to ask? Although she thought she could tell Quinn everything, she knew that she just couldn't now. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Of course I do. Why else would I be his girlfriend?" Quinn eyed her suspiciously, before breathing a sigh.

"Do you love Jesse?" Oh great. It was ten times worse than the first question. And yet, she had to tell another lie. She couldn't even settle for telling the truthful 'I don't know'

"No. Of course not. Never." The only response she got from Quinn was a 'hmm...'

"You sure?" She finally sighed. Rachel nodded, and Quinn shrugged.

"Then I think you should tell Jesse you love Finn, and are over him. That'll get him off your back."

"You know I was never good at expressing my feelings through words."

"Then sing it to him." Once Quinn said that, it never got out of Rachel's mind. She thought about it for several days. Would she ever see Jesse again? Would he come back? If he did, she could always do just as Quinn had suggested.

"Rachel! Someone's at the door!" Her father called from the bottom of the stairway. She responded with a "I'm coming." and seconds later, was at the door. When she opened it, she was once again stunned. Less than last time, but still surprised. It had been exactly 5 days since she last saw him, and she figured he wasn't serious about pursuing her.

"Are you ready to talk yet?" She cleared her throat, but instead of responding to his question, started singing.

Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since U Been Gone

She started off low, recalling the memories of their first meeting. It was just them in the music store singing "Hello" without a care in the world. She could still feel her heart pounding so quickly as it had at that time too.

U dedicated u took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you been gone

And all u'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all u'd ever hear me say

At first he was dedicated to the realtionship. And she had thought it was because they were in love. She was so vulnerable then, but she was the same now. Nothing changed, except her heart was still whole back then.

But since you been gone

I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since u've been gone

How can I put it' you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you been gone

How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you been gone

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

She squeezed her eyes shut, wailing the bridge. He blew his chance way out of the waters. As soon as that egg smashed against her forehead, so did her heart.

Since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
since you been gone
since you been gone
since you been gone

She smiled in satisfaction, at the boy's shocked expression, before slamming the door in his face. After she was back in the safety of her room, she reflected on the last few moments. For some reason her heart still hurt. Why? She had just showed Jesse that she was over him. The she realized why. Half the song was a lie. Since he's been gone, she couldn't breath at all. Her heart's been suffocating. Since he's been gone, she hasn't moved on. Not an inch. She still dwells on their memories, even if they were all lies. Since he's been gone she hasn't gotten what she's wanted, because what she wants is Jesse .