One day, Phineas and Ferb were sitting under their tree. They were trying to think of what to do that particular day. You see, Phineas and Ferb were two gifted and talented brothers who would create the most amazon thingies. But on this particular day, a moving van was parked across the street. Phineas and Ferb decided to go check out the new neighbors.
When they arrived, Phineas saw the most breathtaking sight. In front of him stood a girl, her hair seemed to have been spun from gold and sunlight, her face looked like it was carved by angels, and her eyes, her eyes! Why, they were nothing short of emeralds! And in those pools of emerald, gold was scattered all through out.
Her clothes were obviously top of the chain. Her beautiful pale blue tank-top, with a yellow flower printed on it, was made of the finest silk (23046 thread count), her jeans were made by the same type of Denim that Marilyn Monroe wore, and her shoes? Her shoes were far too perfect to even touch the ground. She was floating about 0.0000738 millimeters of the ground. But Shh, don't tell no one. It's a well-guarded secret that she is a vampire-wizard-half fox-Goddess of love.
It was then and there that Phineas Flynn knew that he would spend the rest of his childhood, adolescence, and adult life with this wonderful girl, this paragon of perfection. Even though he had known her for less than three seconds.
Phineas extended his hand and introduced himself, "I'm Phineas 'Insert supposedly hot actor's name here' Flynn," Phineas jerked his thumb towards Ferb and said," And this is...um.. this is...uh...it's
Ferb, my stepbrother," Phineas still couldn't get over how such a perfect specimen of all things feminine could exist in such dreary world.
The lovely girl chuckled, took the still extended hand of Phineas, and said, "I'm Allieaysouwn Barbie Cassandra Delilah (like the song) Equiscence Mary Sue Alpha Superior Bella Fontaine. The third. Esquire. Heiress to my Daddy's Fortune,"
"So why did you move to Danville, Allie?" Ferb asked his mandatory line. (BTW, we won't see him anymore. This is a ROMANCE/DRAMA after all.)
Mary-Sue, I mean Allie, gasped, "Like, how did you know what my favorite nickname was?"
Phineas, jealous that Allie was talking to Ferb and not him, cleared his throat and asked, "Would you, perhaps, be interested in joining me in a day of fun?" Phineas was nervous. What if she said no? What if she laughed in his face? Oh, Gods above, if he was refused he might just die from HEARTBREAK!
"Yeah, that would be, like mega uber awesome!" Allie breathed a sigh of relief. Her secret as a vampire-wizard-half fox-Goddess of love-ultimate guitar shredder was safe. "But, like, what are you going to do?"
Phineas was bemused, "Um, why don't don't you choose what we do?"
Allie started thinking... "What about lick a... DANCE PARTY!"
Phineas was startled, and not because Allie said dance party in all caps; no, he was startle at what a genius Allie was. He would never have thought to think of such a fabulous idea.
So Allie and Phineas returned to the backyard to get everything set up for the party. There was no doubt in the mind of both the important characters that this soiree would be the most cool party since Frank Sinatra was at that party that one time.
Just then Buford, Baljeet, Irving, Isabella and The Fireside Girls entered the backyard.
Isabella, as annoyingly predictable as always, asked, "Whatcha doing?"
Phineas was far too entranced watching Allie, that he didn't hear Isabella. He also didn't notice that the stage he was building (for the mandatory karaoke where eventually some idiot will decide to sing a Taylor Swift song or High School Musical song, but will invariably end up with Allie and Phineas making out like drunk, hormone ridden teenagers. But I digress.) was falling apart. The stage, that is.
Isabella noticed that Phineas was flat out ignoring her for the new girl. She marched up to Allie and asked, "Who are you?" and thought, 'and why do I feel the need to go on a roaring rampage of rage?'
While Allie introduced herself, Isabella's jealous side was getting the better of her. She had to do her best not to suddenly attack the girl who had done nothing whatsoever. Because, I mean, let's face it, Isabella is a jealous, possessive, she-devil. Plus, she likes pink.
After the introductions Isabella stomped back to the others and fumed. How dare another girl swoop in and steal the boy which she had claimed since before they were even born?
While Isabella was being jealous, Phineas was wangsting about whether or not to confess his deep and undying love to the girl he met not ten minutes ago. He decided to put it off till the party. Right now, he had a stage to build.
Isabella was working with Allie on another project. It wasn't the most docile of environments at the moment.
Allie sighed and looked at Isabella, "Like, why do you hate ME? What have I've done to you? WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? WHY IS THAT NO MATTER WHERE I GO," here she sobbed, "I ALWAYS MAKE ENEMIES BECAUSE OF MY LOOKS, TALENTS, MONEY, PERSONALITY AND GENERAL ALL AROUND AWESOMESAUCE?" Allie dropped her hammer and ran screaming and wailing towards her home.
Isabella just blinked. She blinked again. She blinked a third time. Then, and only after blinking three times, she said, "..."
Phineas came charging at Isabella like a bull, He got up in her face and shouted, "What did you say to her? You're probably just jealous about the pure love that exists between us! You harpy!" He then ran off to Allie's house.
When Phineas reached the front steps of Allie's house, there was Allie. Even when she was bawling her eyes out, even when snot was running down her face, Allie was still the epitome of perfection.
Phineas knelt down beside Allie and wrapped his arms around her, "Don't worry," he said, "She won't bother us anymore,"
Allie looked at Phineas with hope in her emerald, gold flecked, color-changing, hypnotizing-with-a-red-bird-that-causes-the-victim-to-do-whatever, look-at-you-and-know-your-name-age-and-lifespan, eyes. "Really, Isabella won't hurt us anymore?"
Phineas nodded, "I won't let anyone hurt you...because I love you!" He heroically exclaimed with the voice of Crispin Freeman.
Allie sighed, "Phineas, there's something I have to tell you," It was now or never, she had to tell the love of her ten year old life exactly who she was.
Phineas responded with, "What is it you sexy beast,"
Allie sighed again, "I'm not human. I'm actually a vampire-wizard-half fox-Goddess of love-ultimate guitar shredder-vigilante-time traveling-alien-esper-slider!" She really hoped that the prepubescent kid in front of her would not reject her.
To say Phineas was bemused was an understatement.
"What's an Esper and a Slider?"
Isabella was still standing where she stood before.
Irving came up to her. He waved a hand in front of her face. Irving started to walk out of the backyard.
He started chuckling, "I can't believe that a Mary Sue found her way into this universe," He took out a remote control and clicked a red button. A purple swirling vortex appeared before him, "Well, maybe 'A camel named Steve' could use a resident fanboy," He walked through the portal.
If you made it this far, I have to congratulate you. I hope everyone realizes this a parody of all the fics where a new girl comes to town and Phineas falls for her. I pretty much just Flanderized all of the bad parts of those fics. Can you blame me? I've never seen one good fic of that type. I guess that I'm going to get chewed out for making fun of these type of fics. And it really gets frustrating when half the fics on our archive are Mary Sue/ Self-insert/ OC fic. Perhaps I exaggerated the number.
Primary: Make a Parody
Secondary: Prepare for the incoming flames.
Tertiary: Hope to make someone chuckle