Please be gentle with me, this is the first time I even attempt to write anything. My respects to those who do it; writing is so fucking hard! A big huge thank you to maxandmo who beta'd my sorry ass; to MizzezPattinson and TanglingShadows for pre-reading this story. I would have never finished this story without them! If you haven't read their stories yet, what the fudge are you waiting for?

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters. I own a potty mouth and a very, very dirty and perverted mind. This story includes underage drinking and illegal drug use as well as dark themes; please read at your own discretion.

Lost in the lust….

Hot as a fever, rattling bones
I could just taste it, taste it
If it's not forever, if it's just tonight
Oh, it's still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest

You, your sex is on fire
And you, your sex is on fire
Consumed with what's to transpire

And you, your sex is on fire
Consumed with what's to transpire

Sex on fire, Kings of Leon


When I was 17 my biology teacher, Mr. Banner, made us watch a stupid documentary on animals living and hunting in the wild. That had to be the most boring, atrocious thing I had ever seen; I'd fallen asleep almost immediately once he turned the TV on, but one thing stood out in my mind.


I thought about them for no reason at all. I'd always wondered how prey could become victim of its' hunter, and how it was really meaningless to run once they'd been caught. Was it a natural instinct that overpowered them and made them fight for their life even when it was practically over? What made other victims look so calm? It was as if they waited for their imminent death with glory. Didn't they know what was going to happen to them?

They were going to die either way, but it amazed me how different it could be.

It really shouldn't have mattered to me. I mean, hell, I was fretting about something as inane as a hunter and its' prey. Who really cared about that shit anyways?

Well, it should have mattered to me. I should have cared. It would have saved me from the hell that I lived in now. The one that consumed me once I'd fallen into this world. It's too bad that it's too late.

Many things happened when I was 17. Things that I can't take back now.


I was bored as fuck as we walked up to the "hip" club, as my mother and her husband called it, wondering if there could be anything more embarrassing than going out with your parents and failing. The only good thing was that since I was still a minor, I'd have to stay away from the main floor and I'd practically be on my own.

Phil, my stepfather, was friends with the actual owner of the club and had been able to arrange me coming along, even against my own will. This was just another form of torture that I had to go through with my mother and Phil, who were on vacation celebrating their second wedding anniversary.

There was no way out, it was my mother's wish and Phil would do practically anything to make her happy. I had begged to go visit my dad in Forks, WA, while they came here, but my mother had refused. She said that she'd be too worried to enjoy her trip, and like Phil, I gave in.

We arrived at the club and it was nothing like I expected it to be. It was a big building surrounded by a shopping complex. The outside looked like a small warehouse, but you could tell it was at least two stories tall. It was dark and barely illuminated, and the door was framed by only a string of twinkle lights.

We walked inside and made our way down a small corridor that was barely lit. At the end of the corridor, a strikingly beautiful girl stood watching us. When we approached her she directed us to Carlisle, Phil's friend. He and his wife were expecting us in her office.

As we continued walking in what could be considered a dungeon, with all the darkness and cool air surrounding us, we finally found the office.

My mother barely knocked on the door once before it was thrust open. It was as if they heard us approach. It was weird and made me feel a little jumpy, which in turn made my body react immediately by covering itself in goose bumps. When we stepped inside and were properly introduced, I couldn't help but stare at Carlisle and his wife, Esme, I had never seen two people like them before in my entire life.

Carlisle was tall but lean, with a muscular build and his hair was blond. It wasn't cut too short and he looked very pale. What stood out from his features was the color of his eyes. They looked like a mixture of red and brown, and were very unusual. He was dressed in a midnight blue wool suit, his shirt was black, and it fitted his body's every curve. You could probably outline his muscles if you ran your fingers around his abdomen, as he looked like he'd been carved from stone. He wore black formal boots that matched his outfit perfectly.

On his left hand, where I expected to see a wedding band, he wore a ring with some sort of crest on it. It was thick and it looked big on his delicate finger. He looked fragile, yet beautiful. I had never used that word to describe a man, but it was true, Carlisle was beautiful.

Esme didn't disappoint, as she was equally beautiful in her own way. They complimented each other perfectly. She was a bit shorter, her face was heart shaped and her hair was a mahogany color. She wore it straight and at shoulder length. Her eyes were colored exactly like Carlisle's; I wondered how that could be possible. Maybe it was the lighting.

She wore a black dress that hit just below her knees; it hugged her curves at just the right places, fitting perfectly. Her legs were covered by her black knee high boots that had heels probably 6 inches high. When she smiled, it brought life to her face and there was a sparkle in her eyes. Although more delicate, she also wore a crest like ring on her left hand.

I couldn't put my finger on it but something felt off… strange even, and it made me nervous. I couldn't settle down no matter how much I reassured myself everything was going to be alright.

I stood in the background listening to the four of them hold a conversation about the club, where I was to stay for the night, and what I should do if the police were to come. I just nodded and 'mmm hmm'd' when needed. There wasn't much to be said, I was not to leave the second floor. My mother and Phil took me up there before going to the main floor to enjoy the club themselves while I tried very hard to not look as nervous as I felt.

I wanted to tell Phil to take us back to the hotel but that seemed like a very childish thing to do so instead I didn't say anything.

We reached the second floor and it was enormous. There were people gathered in groups, drinking and chatting amongst themselves. Upon my arrival, they stared at me, making me even more nervous than I already was. I tried to relax and went to the bar to get a drink since I could.

Tequila sounded great. I'd let loose as soon as that shit kicked in my system. Hell, maybe I'd even dance since the music was good. I drank the shot in one gulp, hoping for the effect to come soon, I needed to try and enjoy myself.

I looked back at the dance floor and it wasn't as full as I thought. The music that was playing was good; I even had it in my own iPod. I thought about dancing but was nervous, who would I dance with? I couldn't dance by myself, that would be too weird, so I just bobbed my head to the music and continued to watch the crowd.

That's when I saw her.

In the middle of the dance floor, a girl, probably a little older than me, was dancing by herself. She was careless and moved in such a graceful way. It was sensual and erotic. The way she moved was hypnotic, as if she were in a trance and nothing could break her from it.

She was short with spiky black hair and it contrasted with her pale skin. Her lips were full and pouty, covered in a dark red lip gloss. Her eyes were framed by black long and thick lashes; her cheek bones were prominent yet delicate in a way. She wore tight black leather pants and a long sleeved shirt that showed off her petite frame, her boots were like Esme's, if not of the same model. On her neck, she wore a choker with a crest on it, similar to the one on Carlisle and Esme's rings.

Everything about her screamed of beauty. I stared at her in awe. I could never have the courage to dance like that by myself. I could never be as graceful, confident or as beautiful as she was.

That's when she saw me.

She looked at me with a gleam in her eyes and smiled. She continued dancing, while looking my way, hypnotizing me in her trance. I immediately felt myself blush and I wanted to look away, but couldn't.

She smiled at me. I couldn't believe it; out of all the people in the room she looked directly at me and smiled? My face lit up. Fuck, I felt like the coolest person in the room because of it. I was lame.

I smiled back and continued watching her dance. There was something about her that captivated me. I had never experienced the excitability that overtook me while looking at her, it was something unknown, and it scared me as I realized it. Nobody had ever evoked me in a reaction so strong and it terrified me.

I wondered if there was something wrong with me, if maybe that's why I'd never had a boyfriend before, because maybe I preferred girls instead. Could this be true? If it was, how was it possible I had never noticed, never realized it before? Surely this couldn't be the case. I had never thought of girls this way ever.

Perhaps it was just this girl that affected me so. Could it be possible? The realization of this confounded me.

As I contemplated her, I started to panic and began trembling. I feared my legs would give out, and searched for an escape. I looked around me and noticed that in my moment of alarm, I had walked towards the exit nearest the dance floor.

As I got ready to run, a cool hand stopped me. I turned to see that it was her; the girl that had entranced me.

"Where are you going?" Asked a small musical voice.

"I need to get out of here. Please let me go," I said startled.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "I saw you panic and was worried about you."

I looked at the way she held my arm so delicately and yet her grip was strong. Something about her comforted me, yet it wasn't enough to pacify me. My body was still shaking and I couldn't seem to control it.

"Jesus fucking Christ, if you don't calm down, you're gonna go into full panic attack mode," she said.

Oh God, they way she spoke…

Hearing her say that seemed to intensify my admiration for her and spurred me on. I most definitely needed to get away from her.

"I'm sorry, I just need to go please," I said while I looked back and forth between her and the exit.

It seemed so close and yet so far away.

"You can't leave this floor, if you do and the cops are downstairs, you are going to cause a great amount of trouble for Carlisle."

How did she know who I was?

"I don't mean to cause trouble; I just wasn't feeling well and needed some air. I'm about to have an anxiety attack." I said alarmed.

She looked at me and smiled, "You need to relax; I have just the thing to help you, come with me."

I felt a twinge of calm and fear at the same time, my instinct told me to leave, to run and look for my mother and Phil but I wanted to know more about this girl who obviously knew about me.

She took my hand in hers and led me through the crowded room. We reached the doors and continued walking in the direction of the restrooms. I thought that was where we were headed, but I was wrong. We continued walking until we reached the very back. We arrived at what looked like a VIP room. There was a man standing outside, guarding the door. He was tall, of a strong build and was looking back and forth between the girl and me.

"Felix, please make sure nobody bothers us. Bella isn't feeling well and I want her to rest, okay?" She began opening the door.

"No problem, if you need anything from downstairs, let me know," he said.

I looked back to take him in, but it was too late. Felix was gone and I was left alone with a girl whose name I didn't even know yet.

I looked around and took in the room while walking inside; it was small, private, yet luxurious. The room was dark and fit in with the theme of the club, the décor was outstanding. The walls were covered halfway by thick wallpaper, which had a black and red lined pattern on it. The bottom was painted black completely. In the middle of the room was a glass coffee table, a black leather couch that seemed to wrap around three sides of it, and an LCD television in front of it. The lights were dim and illuminated the room, casting a glow all around us.

It was fascinating….

It was fascinating and intimidating.

It looked liked the perfect allurement to catch prey.

"Feeling better Bella?" She asked bringing me out of my thoughts. "I'm Alice, by the way."

I looked at her in awe. She had said my name again and done it with a hint of excitement.

"How did you know my name?" I asked her. "How did you know who I was when you stopped me? How did you-" I was cut off by her devilish laugh.

"Oh, I know lots of things Bella. That doesn't matter though, you're here now." Alice said.

I suddenly felt nervous again.

"I also know what you need," she continued, "and I'm going to give it to you as soon as you relax. Come here." She approached me and sat on the couch.

I followed suit and sat facing her, while looking into her eyes; I got lost in them. They hypnotized me, lured me and made me a prisoner of the mystery behind them. They also looked familiar but I couldn't remember from where.

She touched my face and caressed my cheek while putting a strand of hair behind my ear. Her touch was cool and comforting, her soft delicate fingers were pale. She wore black nail polish on her long nails, contrasting with her skin greatly; making them look like claws. I held still while she touched my face, still lost in her eyes; too mesmerized to realize what happened next.

She leaned into me, caressing my nose with her own and held still.

I knew it was wrong but I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to taste her mouth, feel her tongue against mine.

So I gave in to the lust that over-powered me, and kissed her. When I realized what I'd done, I started to panic, wanting to get up and leave the room.

Sensing that, Alice laughed "Relax, I know you're confused but it's okay, just give in to what you really want. Who cares if it's right or wrong, just feel. I'm going to make you feel so good Bella."

She kissed me again softly and I whimpered. I wanted more. If I was going to do this, I wanted more.

She laughed again, "You need to relax. Here, take this. It's going to help you relax." She said while handing me a red pill that she took out of the pendant on her choker.

"What is it?" I looked at her apprehensively.

"It's a red heart. This will have you calm in no time, open up," she looked at me expectantly.

A red heart? What the fuck was a red heart? I had never taken up on the whole drug scene back home, so I had no idea what it could be. I looked back at her, unsure of what to do.

She felt my hesitation, "If you don't take this, you won't be able to enjoy what I'm going to do to you. You're too nervous."

I didn't think about it twice, I took the pill in my mouth and swallowed it.

I looked at her and smiled sheepishly, I'd done it, for all the wrong reasons, but it was done. She took my face in her hands again and looked at me while she licked her lips. She was anxious just like me. I expected her to kiss me but she didn't, instead whispered in my ear, "You're going to feel a little burn, but it's okay. If you feel it's too much you need to let me know. Now you're ready Bella, just feel."

I shivered at her words. I was excited and nervous.

I wanted to kiss her again.

As if she knew, Alice caressed my bottom lip with her thumb and pulled my face to her. As our lips touched I felt a tinge of desire run through my body. She kissed me softly, reverently, easing me into this unknown world ruled by lust. My hands ran through her hair as she held me and kissed me. I felt desperate. Soft chaste kisses weren't appeasing my desire.

I wanted more, and I could tell she wanted more. She licked her lips and parted mine with her tongue as I allowed her to do it. I then slipped my own in her mouth. She tasted sweet and divine. I could smell her, as her aroma wrapped itself around me. She smelled of lilac and honey. I breathed her in, once and again, as if her scent was something I desperately needed.

Our tongues moved against each other, allowing us to feel and be lost in one another. All the while I relaxed; I leaned against the couch and let her guide me. I was so new at this I wondered why I wasn't anxious, but then remembered the pill I had just taken.

She straddled my lap, continued to kiss me and moved on to my neck. I moaned in response, spurring her on; she licked my ear and bit gently on my earlobe. Her tongue felt so cool on my burning skin. I was consumed by a wanton feeling I had never felt before, driving me into a frenzy.

"Touch me Alice. Touch me anywhere you want, I want you to touch me," I said desperately.

She started at my neck, running her thumbs over my collarbone and dipping them lower into my shirt, making my skin break out in goose bumps. She lifted up my shirt and pulled it over my head, exposing my bare breasts. She touched them and kissed me at the same time, slipping her tongue into my mouth again. I felt my nipples tighten as she ran her fingers over them making me moan.

"Oh God…." I breathed.

She opened her mouth and took my nipple in, caressing it with her tongue. She finally grazed it with her teeth and gently bit down.

"I told you I'd make it feel good," she said with a smug smile.

I looked up at her while licking my lips, and took off her shirt. I looked at her bra. It was black and made of lace. I unhooked it while she kissed me. I ran my hands over her torso, needing to feel her, to explore her body.

Her skin was satin smooth and cool to my fingertips, easing me more into the moment. She ran her hand across my chest and stopped at the waistband of my pants, looking at me to gauge my reaction. I wanted to stop her, but I didn't have the will to say no.

My body was begging for her touch; she was the only one that could calm the fire in me. I felt a throbbing ache between my legs as she unbuttoned my pants and pushed them down my hips. I lifted up allowing her to take them off completely, while I kicked off my shoes at the same time.

I repeated her actions, ridding her of her pants. We both stood up and faced each other. She looked at me as she put her hands on my hips, right at the top of my panties.

I knew she could ease my pain, so I let her keep going. I allowed her to give me the pleasure I desired and desperately needed. She caressed the swell of my belly and removed my panties while placing soft kisses along my skin. She touched my body in a reverent way, admiring every part of me, all the while making me relax more than I already had.

Wow, that pill worked so damn well.

I rid her of her panties too, while we continued kissing and touching each other. My hands explored unknown and unexpected places, making the flames of desire to smolder deeper within me.

Inciting me…

Invoking me…

Making me wet.

Alice pushed me back on to the couch and kneeled in front of me, pulling my hips toward her. She spread my legs and placed them on her shoulders, on either side of her head. I knew that it was wrong, that if it weren't her I wouldn't be allowing a woman to touch me the way she did. But it was Alice, and I couldn't find the will to stop her. My body was too heavy with the need that overpowered me.

Her hands roamed my upper body, kneading my breasts, making everything feel so damn good. She slipped her hands lower, finally touching the wetness that had pooled between my thighs. She grazed my clit with her thumb, making me buck my hips and moan in response.

"Oh fuck…." I exhaled. It felt so fucking good.

She chuckled and continued touching me, spreading my lips and circling my entrance with her fingers until finally pushing a finger inside. I whimpered and moaned, immersed in the pleasure that she brought with her touch, wanting more. She slipped another finger inside and started a pumping motion. She brought her lips to my clit, kissing, nibbling, and licking. Her soft cool lips brought a sense of relief to my skin which felt scorched by the pleasure it withheld.

She continued moving her fingers while she licked my clit, and pushed me towards release. My muscles started clenching and I could almost feel it. She pressed her tongue down on my clit and added another finger, I screamed with the pleasure that possessed me as she bit down hard and I came undone.

I felt myself ignite; I was literally on fire.

Every limb of my body burned. It was as if I had just been dipped in gasoline and had a lit match thrown at me. I was trembling with desire, consumed in the lust that had overpowered me, hoping to come down from this high soon because it was too much.

But I couldn't, and I didn't know why.

I felt fuel running through my veins, blazing every part of my body and making me writhe in pain.

With the pain came a cloud of darkness that wrapped around me, numbing me and stilling my movements for just a few seconds. I felt the embers of invisible fuel spread all over my body, bursting into flames and creating a combustion within me.

That's when I screamed.

"Fuuuuuuuck! Alice, make it stop! Dammit, make it stop…. Please just make it stop!" I begged as I threw my head back in pain.

"Shhh… Bella, it's okay… it's okay. You need to be quiet. Please calm down," Alice whispered to me.

I didn't know what was going on, this effect was probably due to the pill that Alice had given me. I wondered why I had done something as stupid as taking an unknown pill from some stranger I'd just met, but it was too late.

I heard voices around me while Alice shushed me. I tried to remain calm but it hurt too much and there was no way I could be quiet. My body trembled, covered in sweat. I needed ice, water or anything else that would allow me to cool down.

Someone came into the room then and said in an alarming voice, "What the fuck is going on here Alice?"

I could tell it was a man from his menacing tone. I didn't look up to see who it was, it didn't matter anyways; he wouldn't take away the pain, would he?

"It's none of your business Felix, go get me the car. I need to get Bella out of here quickly," Alice said.

Felix scoffed, "It's too late now, besides Carlisle's on his way up here. Damn Alice, you really fucked up this time, you know that? Everyone heard her scream. I don't even think I want to be around when he gets here."

I heard more people approach, and I suddenly began to worry about them seeing me naked. It was pointless; it didn't matter because I was in so much pain. I knew something was wrong, I could get that much. Whatever was happening to me was not supposed to be that way.

"Jesus Christ Alice, why can't you ever follow orders? I gave you explicit instructions regarding what you were to do with Bella and you disobeyed me once again?" Carlisle yelled at her.

Why was Carlisle here? Where had my mother and Phil gone? I wanted to be with them, to go to them and leave, yet I couldn't since I was doubled over in pain.

"You were supposed to get rid of her and yet you left her alive. Is this another one of your games for sending Jasper away?" Carlisle continued arguing.

I wondered what he meant by saying that Alice had left me alive, yet at the moment I preferred death. I felt like I had being dying. If it wasn't death then I didn't know what it was.

"I want to keep her Carlisle. She can be good if we teach her; I'll do it. Just let me keep her. Do you have any idea how many people she can bring here? God Carlisle, just look at her, she's beautiful," Alice said.

"I don't give a fuck about what you want to do with her Alice. It's not the first time you've done something like this; you should know better. I'm so tired of this shit! I should have gotten rid of you a long time ago," Carlisle said exasperatedly.

"Don't be ridiculous Carlisle, you know I'm the best bait you've got in this dump. If it weren't for me, you'd all be feeding off rats," Alice retorted.

"Carlisle please calm down, we can take care of this somewhere else. We don't need to discuss this here. The people were already startled with her screams, and for goodness sake, please put some clothes on her," Esme said calmly, but in a stern voice.

Nothing made sense to me; the words spoken were just pieces of a puzzle, a jumble of words that I would have to put together somehow. There was nothing left to say because the only thing I knew was pain. Pain, burning and darkness; I was dissipated in it. It swallowed me whole and immobilized me.

Alice tried to move me, but I just whimpered and writhed once more. I didn't want her touching me.

Esme must have figured that out when she said, "Felix go to the linen closet by the ladies room and bring me a towel for Bella please."

He returned quickly with the towel and left just the same. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Carlisle was gone too. The only ones in the room with me were Esme, Alice, and a tall, beautiful blonde girl. Esme lifted me carefully from the couch and wrapped me in the towel.

The blonde looked at me, "Esme, what are you going to do with her? She's our responsibility now. Her parents are dead and we can't just leave her roaming around to go on a killing spree."

Dead? My mother and Phil were dead?

"No!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "They can't be dead…why? Why did you do this? To them? To me?" I questioned as I began sobbing. The emotional pain became much worse than the physical pain.

Esme touched my face and said, "I'm so sorry Bella, this is not how it was supposed to be. You have no one but us now. Everything will be explained to you but first let's take you home. Rosalie, please go get the car."

"I'll take her, she is my responsibility now," Alice snarled as she tried to block the door.

"We are not going to discuss this Alice. Where she goes is not up for debate," Esme said as she picked up my clothes and carried me out of the room.

Esme walked down the corridor and into an elevator that I had not seen before. She took me out the back entrance where Rosalie was waiting for us in a car. Once I was seated in the back, we left.

When we arrived at Carlisle's house, I was given my clothes so I could get dressed. Esme then left Rosalie and me to talk alone in the living room. Rosalie sat down, expecting me to join her but I just stood.

"You must be in immense pain right now and I'm sorry. I can't do anything to help you, but I can tell you why you feel that way."

"I'm listening," I said as I sat down on the couch.

"I know what I'm going to tell you is going to sound crazy, Bella, but it's true; it happened to me."I looked down at my hands and felt my face redden as she continued, "Don't be ashamed. What Alice did to you is just part of her plan. It's the way she works; she set you up and just turned you into a vampire."

"A vampire?" I asked astonished.

"Yes Bella, that's what we are. Carlisle, Esme, Felix and his wife Jane, who also works at the club; we're all vampires."

I couldn't believe it but the pain that still held me hostage proved it, "How did Alice do it? She didn't even drink my blood."

"Alice is a sneaky little bitch. She starts with her tongue while kissing you, or nibbling you, until she finally bites you. She only does that to infuse the venom, if she drank your blood she could lose control and kill you."

I thought back and remembered about her doing those things, "What about the pill she gave me?"

"That was just to numb you until the venom spread in your veins. Of course you couldn't feel what was going on because of what she was doing to you."

This time I felt my whole body flush, "I had never liked a girl before Alice, I can't believe what I did, what I let her do to me."

"That's just a trick Bella, vampires are supposed to do that; it was her beauty that lured you. Don't go on thinking that you're gay, even Felix does it and you've seen him. It's just a tool that we have for hunting."

I believed her; I remembered the reaction I had when I met Carlisle and Esme. Rosalie continued to explain my new life to me by giving me all the details needed.

The club was just a façade to bring people in so they could feed themselves. The type of people that frequented the club were people that would barely go unnoticed if they went missing. Most of them were drug addicts or troubled people that would go to the bar looking for an escape.

Missing people and accidents were a common occurrence, and therefore they used that to their advantage. According to the local news, my family and I were in a car accident. Our car had fallen off a cliff and our bodies were never found. I would never be able to visit my father again.

My body would change. I'd be unrecognizable to him, and also very dangerous. I would have to stay away from humans as much as possible until I learned to gain control over my thirst and it would take time. Food would not be what my body craved or needed anymore. It would be blood.

There were rules that had to be followed and consequences if they were broken. This was the reason why Jasper had been sent away. After many years into his vampire life, he had not yet learned control. He went on a killing spree and the whole coven had been forced to move. We were to be discreet about what we did and could only feed once or twice a week since there were so many of us.

Changing a person into a vampire was something that was only accepted under certain conditions. You couldn't change someone of your same sex, especially if you were mated already. Alice had broken this rule twice; with Rosalie first and then me. The first time was allowed as a slip up. She was, however, banished from the coven, along with Jasper, after she changed me.

I realized then, that my life was changed forever after only one night; it would never be the same. If I had not been changed I would have been dead. I couldn't fathom why Carlisle would betray his friend and family like he had.

I had been doomed to exist in a living hell.


Many years have passed since that night; eighty-seven to be exact. We have moved to many places and are currently in Chicago.

Several things have changed during that time, some were predictable, and yet others have surprised me. I stayed with Carlisle and Esme, since I had nowhere else to go and no one to guide me but them. It was not easy; I still blamed them for my doom.

It was in Gatlinburg, TN, that Rosalie met Emmett and they fell deeply in love. He was a crack addict. He had been in so deep that if Rosalie hadn't changed him he would have died. Emmett and Rosalie were meant to be together. He joined our coven and adapted fairly quickly, just like me.

I had never felt the love that I had seen either Esme or Rosalie share for their mates. I hadn't met anyone that attracted me the same way.

When we moved to Chicago, Carlisle opened a new club. It served the same purpose and was run by the same rules. We attracted people there to satiate our thirst. Their only purpose was to supply us with the blood that we desired, craved and needed.

It was so easy to pursue the prey, especially if they were addicted to any type of substance. They kept coming back until they were lost in this world of perdition.

That was Edward's case. He was a seventeen year old boy who was already lost before he fell into my hands. He had been arrested for driving under the influence and possession of heroin. His father had been an attorney and had been able to make a deal for him.

While he was away at boarding school, his parents had died in a fire. When he left the school, Edward lost himself even more deeply into the world of drugs.

The night I met Edward I admired his beauty; he looked like the fallen angel he was. He'd landed right smack in the middle of hell, and didn't even know it. I watched him carefully deciding when I would trap him. I waited all night but was unable to do it. I let him go hoping that he wouldn't come back and could spare me the necessity of killing him.

It was only a week later that he came back. He was in even worse shape than the time before. I was pretty sure he had a cocktail of drugs in his system; he couldn't even stand up straight. Emmett spoke to him; told him he was a good kid who deserved more and could still get away from this world.

I was sure Emmett could see what I did; Edward had a pure soul. We both wanted to save him from himself before it was too late. It was useless though Edward was too far gone. Every time he came back was worse than the last. I was surprised that no one had killed him yet, but I hadn't realized why.

Everyone had seen how attached I'd become to him. They saw that I had wanted to protect and save him. They were waiting for me to realize I was in love with him.

When the realization hit me, I became overwhelmed with emotions. They were all unknown to me and it was terrifying. I knew I couldn't damn him to my own fate; he deserved better than that.

I tried to avoid him after that, but watched from afar. I'd leave to hunt and try to return after he'd leave. Sometimes I'd catch a glimpse of him when he arrived and I'd scurry out the back door. The days passed, and it became almost impossible to avoid him at all times.

Tonight was a Thursday night so I didn't worry; he usually came in on the weekend. I decided to keep watch on the dance floor and see who would be a good catch. I was extremely thirsty, as I hadn't fed in a couple of days. I looked around and noticed the usual crowd was already here. I took in a couple of new faces; determining to how to play my game.

As I prepared to work out my plan, I saw Edward approach the bar. He looked so weary and thin, making him look taller than he already was. He was dressed in black with the exception of his white t-shirt. His tattered jeans looked too loose on him while his black Doc Martens made him look disproportioned. His light jacket showed just how negligent and careless he was; he'd probably freeze to death wearing that outfit.

I quickened my steps and headed to the dance floor. I needed to find a way out without him seeing me. I began to dance by myself when he grabbed me by the waist from behind and turned me around.

"Bella, you're here. I'm so glad to see you. I've been looking for you for day," he said as a huge grin spread across his face.

It broke my heart to see him so excited about me. I couldn't fathom to think that he could feel about me the way that I felt towards him.

"Hey Edward, what's up?" I said coolly. I didn't want to show him how happy it made me to see him too.

"What's up with you? You're hardly here anymore and whenever I come in you avoid me completely. Are you mad at me?" He said while looking me in the eyes.

No Edward, I'm in love with you and I need you to stay away.

"No, I'm not mad at you. I just can't keep watching while you kill yourself. How many times do I have to tell you Edward? I don't know why you come to the club; there's nothing good for you here."

"I wouldn't say that Bella. There's only one reason why I keep coming back. Are you really so clueless?"

I lost it completely when he said that. I couldn't believe he had the balls to rub it in my face.

"Yeah, I know why; to get your fix. Why the fuck would you bother otherwise?" I spat at him.

"Well, I can't deny that. I can't quit," he said sadly.

"You know what? That's the reason why I avoid you. I'm so fucking tired of my words falling on deaf ears. Do me a favor will you? Take your sorry ass somewhere else to die. I don't want to be around when you do." I said while I stormed off and made my way out of the club through the back.

I opened the door and walked down the alley between the club and the surrounding buildings. It was dark and empty. I could hear Edward's soft steps behind me. This was not a good place for him to be right now.

I turned around and stopped him dead in his tracks. "What the fuck do you want Edward?" I looked at him straight in the eyes; avoiding to look down at his neck. I could see the blood pumping in his veins. The thought and sight of it scorched my throat with thirst.

"I want you, Bella." Edward said while cupping my face.

"You don't know what you want." I scoffed. I took his hands away from my face. I couldn't bear for him to touch me. I was a monster that didn't deserve his touch. I turned trying to walk away, but was stopped by his firm grip on my arm.

"Don't leave; don't run away from me anymore. Look at me."

I turned around and faced him; I took in all his grace. He was beautiful even after all the damage he'd done to himself.

He was very pale and his wild copper hair contrasted his deep green eyes. They were surrounded by dark circles that made him look worn out. His cheekbones were very prominent, making his face look thinner. His nose was round and narrow. His soft thin lips made me want to kiss him.

"Can't you see that I don't want to run away from you? That it hurts me every time I do it?" I said as I closed my eyes.

"Then don't leave. Stay here with me, please." He begged.

He took my face in his hands, resting his forehead against mine. He then leaned into me and kissed me softly. I kissed him back; letting my still heart take over. I held him to me, cradled his face and kissed him deeper. Edward tried to part my lips with his tongue but I pulled back.

"Stop Edward, I can't do this. You need to stay away from me."

"Why? I'm not good enough for you? I'm just a fucking low life junkie, right? That's it?" He spat angrily at me as he pulled back.

"No, Edward, that's not why. It's me okay? I'm the one that's not good enough for you."

He looked at me like a mad man, "How could that possibly be true? You're the one who's been trying to get me to quit all this time. Every time I come back I'm worse, almost dying. I know it hurts you, I see it in your eyes!" He yelled as he pinned me against the wall. I had the strength to push him back; to crush him even, but remained still, welcoming the warmth and comfort that his body provided.

"Bella don't you dare fucking deny what you feel for me. It wouldn't hurt you otherwise. I can't believe you just don't get it. I keep coming back to you and yet you don't do anything."

"What the fuck do you want me to do? I have no fucking clue what the hell you're talking about!" I said bewildered.

"I know what this club is all about Bella. I knew it since the first time I came here. Everybody knows that if you want to die all you have to do is come here."

I looked at him in shock; I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"The first night I came to the club I was a mess. My first attempt at suicide was an overdose but I was taken to the hospital on time. All I wanted was to die; that was my only purpose."

I was livid at the thought of Edward wanting to die. I understood him though; I knew his parents' death was the reason behind it. I knew what it felt like to be alone in a world of misery.

He moved his hands to my face, searching for my eyes. He sighed and continued, "Everything changed the night I met you. I wanted to be better for you, so I tried to get clean. I even stayed away from the club for a few days… but I can't stop. I tried so hard Bella; it was all for you, but I'm in too deep."

I could see the pain in his eyes when he spoke. It broke my heart to see how weak he felt. "What do you want me to do Edward? I want to ease your pain; I hate to see you broken like this."

"Change me."

"You don't know what you're asking for. I won't damn you to live in hell," I said looking away.

"It won't be living in hell if it's with you. I know you love me Bella. Please say yes," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed me softly.

He was right; living with him would be like living in Elysium instead of hell. He would revive me after all these years of empty existence. I had seen it before with Rosalie but never thought it could happen to me.

"Are you sure? You can't change your mind once it's done." I looked up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. A part of me hoped he'd say yes, that he'd stay with me. The other part also wanted him to say no, even if it broke my heart.

"I'm sure that's what I want. I love you Bella and I want to be with you forever." He said smiling crookedly.

There was no doubt in me anymore, if he loved me, I'd do it. It would be more for me, but I'd also save him from an imminent death. I couldn't help but smile back. "I love you too." I said as I leaned in and kissed him.

I started out slowly; showing him, with my kisses, the love that I had been holding back. He kissed me gently until he became urgent. I slowly parted his lips with my tongue, deepening our kiss.

Edward started breathing heavily, groaning, and looking for more. I knew what his motives were and even though I wanted to give in, I wanted to do this differently, so I pulled away.

"We need to go; you're going to be in tremendous pain once the venom starts spreading into your system. You can't feel it now, but I want to be home when you do."

I took his hand and led him down the alley. I thought about how I'd always loathed Alice for bringing me into this life. I had been lured into it from the lust that she evoked in me one night. It didn't matter anymore, because now, I could be lost with Edward forever.

a/n: The Red Heart pill that Alice gave to Bella is a barbiturate commercially known as Seconal. It was used back in the 70's and most commonly known as Reds, Red Devil and Dolls.

This story was written with lots of love and inspired by my friend Mariana (EMMW77); she introduced me to FF and to Kings of Leon. I want to dedicate it to her and to all my MSN & Twitter babes; I'd be nothing without you. I've only read a few stories and though I am nowhere close to being as good as the authors on my homepage, I look up to them and respect them as well for writing life changing stories. Y'all ladies rock!

Leave me some love if you likey but bewbie gropes and spanks are most preferred!