Disclaimer: I don't own Portal, or Aperture Science, or GlaDos...I don't even own a Weighted Companion Cube D:

Author's Note:

First thing I've ever written for Portal! Actually, first thing I've written in this format, actually. No matter! I wrote this after watching my brother play Portal. While watching, I realized one thing: I. Love. GlaDOS! She is hilarious. So, even though I have never written for her or played the game, I had to! So here's my attempt!



It wasn't that GlaDos didn't have a heart. She just didn't care to use it.


"Resistance is futile," came the monotonous voice. "Please lay on your back in the Party Escort Position. If you do as you are told, there will be a party with your best friend, the Weighted Companion Cube!"


GlaDos didn't understand how something with absolutely no circuitry could be so beautiful.


She would never admit it to the scurrying lab rats, but she was slightly envious of their legs.


It was a stroke of luck that she discovered the Rat Man before he had a chance to do anything…undesirable…


When the test subject spit on the cameras in defiance, GlaDos had no choice but to exercise her Disciplinary Authority.


"Please do not argue," the disembodied voice said through the speakers. "You are making the Companion Cube cry."


GlaDos liked when the test subjects completed their tasks with enthusiasm; it meant they were getting one step closer to their ultimate goal.


"Oh, please, please," the man sniffled, human juices leaking all over her clean floors, "don't kill me. Don't kill me…"


GlaDos had long since stopped wondering what the world above was like.