Notes: Written for clautophobia. This got out of hand...
If I Had You
Twilight series
"This isn't exactly what I had in mind."
3210 words
The Twilight series is in no way mine; it belongs to Stephanie Meyer and I'm definitely not her since I'm not filthy rich. Oh, and I write fanfiction, so yeah, definitely NOT her.

If I Had You

When the little cards and gifts started showing up in his locker, Mike was confused. For one, he didn't exactly hand out his locker combo like it was candy – he learned that the hard way after the year before, so he didn't give it to anyone; no matter how hard they begged – so he had no idea how someone could have slipped the little gifts in. He didn't have a locker partner like some people did, so... how were they getting in?

Not that he was going to complain too much; the gifts were actually pretty good. Sure, they were a bit cliche, but that didn't mean that they weren't any good.

He suspected that it was Jessica, since he knew that she'd had a crush on him since the beginning of the year – after being rejected by Edward Cullen repeatedly the year before – so he wouldn't be too surprised if this was her way of trying to get him to ask her out.

With Christmas drawing near, and with that the yearly Christmas dance, Mike wasn't taken too much aback by the fact that as the date for the dance drew closer, there were slew of cards pasted to his locker or sticking out of the slots. A few of them had even fallen through them and wound up inside his locker.

But the cards and gifts from his 'secret admirer' were always neatly arranged on the top shelf; propped up against his textbooks so he could clearly see his name scrawled across the envelopes.

"I don't how you get to be so popular," Tyler groused as they left the school; Mike stopping to dump a huge stack of cards in the trash on the way out. "And why do you have to do that? You're going to be breaking a whole bunch of girls' hearts."

Mike shrugged, "They'll be back tomorrow. It's not like I actually pay attention to the stuff anyway."

"You're such an idiot; do you know how many guys would kill to be in your shoes right now?"

"The entire male population of Forks High; you've said that before Tyler. Think of something new," Mike rolled his eyes, then changed the subject. "What about you? Have you asked Lauren out yet?"

"What? Why would I ask her? I thought she was dating Josh!"

Mike blinked; his best friend was really an idiot. "Tyler, they haven't dated since last year; they broke up in January, remember? That really ugly split?"

"Huh... I didn't notice."

At that, Mike face palmed. There were times when Tyler really was an idiot; well, his best friend wasn't exactly known for being either the sharpest tack in the box or the most observant.

Tyler slapped him on the shoulder, "Well thanks man! I'll definitely have to ask her out now! What about you? I saw you talking to Alice yesterday, gonna ask her out?"

"And get my ass kicked by her boyfriend? No way," Mike replied with a shudder. "She's just a friend, Tyler; she does know about me, you know."

"Seriously? You told her?"

"She uh... figured it out."

"That sucks man."

Out of the entire Forks High student body, Mike had only let two people know that he wasn't straight; and he fully intended to keep it that way. He didn't think a small town would be all too accepting of his sexual orientation.

.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:.

With the dance a week away, Mike still hadn't figured out who his secret admirer was. But he did know that it wasn't Jessica – he'd discovered her mass of colorful and scented cards shoved through the slots of his locker. He was really glad that it wasn't her.

"Mike!" Jessica ran up to him with a stupid smile on her face; it slipped off her face when she noticed the mass of cards he was holding in his hands. "Have you got a date for the dance yet?"

"Not yet; I might not even go."

"What? You just have to go!" she half-shrieked, making Mike wince. She didn't seem to notice how uncomfortable he was, "You never have a date at these dances, but you still go. But um, that's not why I wanted to talk to you... and if you don't have a date..."

Oh god, Mike thought, here it comes.

"Well, I was thinking. Would you go to the dance with me?" Jessica beamed up at him. "I've already bought tickets, and I'd really love to go with you."

"Jess, you know –"

"Great! I'll see you then!" Jessica interrupted him. She lunged forward and hugged him about the abdomen and then skipped off, grinning.

Mike stared after her, feeling as though his stomach had just dropped through his feet. He just stared after her, his mouth open as he watched her leave. He hadn't even been able to shoot her down before she'd just shoved words into his mouth, and now she was going to go off and spread rumors throughout the school that Mike and her were dating.

Great, just great. It couldn't get any worse.

"Hey Mike!"

"Huh? Oh, hi Alice," he greeted the smallest Cullen as she skipped up beside him.

"What's wrong? You look like a zombie just popped out of your locker." Alice was smiling as she easily fell into step beside him; her usual pixie grin on her face as they walked down the hall.

"Jess just basically made herself my date for the Christmas dance," Mike grumbled as he dumped the armful of cards into the trash. "So now the entire school is going to be convinced that she and I are an item now."

She shrugged, "Jessica has always been rather pushy; why not go and tell her that you're not going with her?"

"You know her; she'll just go all drama queen on my ass and then I'll be made out to be the jerk in this whole situation."

"Well, do you think that she's your secret admirer?" Alice asked. The two of them rounded the corner of the cafeteria and headed towards English. "Maybe that's why she's so stubborn about going to the dance with you. Did you think of that?"

"Yeah, I did," Mike replied, sighing. "She was the first person I thought of; but it's definitely not her. For one, it's not her handwriting, and for another, she gives the most violently colorful cards I've ever seen... and she scents them too."

To that, Alice wrinkled her nose, "Oh, that's just... and I'm going to assume it's that cheap perfume."

"Yep. It reeks."

"Does she..."

"She pretty much saturates the damn cards with it; I sneezed the first time I opened one and it made my eyes water."

Oh wow, that's got to suck." Alice paused as they took their seats before dropping her voice into a whisper, "Do you think that maybe her rumor spreading will draw out your secret admirer?"

"Don't know; I'm half-hoping it will and the other half of me is hoping that they won't." Mike admitted. He elaborated when Alice gestured for him to go on. "Well, I don't know who it is and I don't have any clues to hint at who it might be. So, you know, I'm kind of worried that it'll be another girl who's just as crazy as Jess is... or worse."

"Yeah, I guess so," Alice replied, leaning on her elbow. "Maybe try leaving them something in return? Or leaving a note asking for some clues?"

"I tried that," Mike replied. "I got a bouquet of roses in response."

"Oh, old fashioned," Alice giggled. "I like that."

Mike blushed, "Yeah, I know you're a hopeless romantic Alice and I'm one too. But still, I feel like they might be messing around with me just a little; playing a game with me."

"Maybe this is their way of flirting with you," Alice offered as the teacher came in. "Well, whatever's going on. Just keep trying; I'm sure they'll give you some kind of sign."

.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:.

The next day, Mike found a single rose tucked on the shelf of his locker, with one of those cheap plastic jewel CD cases next to it.

Inside of it was one of those blank CDs, with a message written in Sharpie on it. It read: 'Merry Christmas.'

It wasn't until Mike got home and placed it in his DVD player, that he realized that it the CD held piano music. He couldn't place the song, but it was absolutely beautiful in Mike's opinion; he didn't listen to much classical music or instrumental pieces, but this one was... well, it was special. He really, really liked it.

After listening to it twice, Mike ripped the tracks from the CD and put them on his computer and sent them to a few of his music buff friends. He wound up sending it to his friend Bella back in Phoenix whose mother was a concert pianist in the hopes that she'd be able to place the music. But neither Bella nor her mother had ever heard the song before – and Renée had even taken it to a few of her other friends, and they didn't recognize it either.

So he had been given a CD with a few pieces written just for him.

He was really flattered, but it still brought him nowhere closer to figuring out who his secret admirer was. It was starting to get a little annoying.

"Wow, that's intense," Alice remarked after listening to one of the pieces that Mike had put on his iPod. "Still no luck though?"

"Yeah, I have no idea."

There was a twinkle in her eyes, though, when she told him that she'd see him later at lunch.

Mike hurried to his locker; he was pretty pleased to notice that there weren't anymore cards shoved in or taped to his locker this time. Jessica's rumor spreading had probably turned almost everyone off of going after him any longer. His heart was pounding when he opened his locker, expecting that there would be nothing there from his secret admirer.

'Is it true you're going with Jessica Stanley to the dance?'

With a sigh, and deciding that it wouldn't matter, Mike ripped a piece of paper out of his notebook, hastily scribbling on it a reply. 'No, she's just assuming we are. Why?'

Not thinking anymore of the note, Mike shoved it onto the shelf, grabbing his Math textbook and shoving it into his backpack along with his History textbook. Then he booked it to class; he was running a bit late.

Mike didn't think much more about the note until he went back to his locker before lunch, Tyler following him as he told him all about his date with Lauren the other night. Only listening half-heartedly – he really wasn't interested in hearing how hot Lauren had looked for the fifth time – he reached up, pulling out the note he'd left and shoved his textbooks back onto the shelf. He was actually rather shocked that, upon closer inspection, there was a response.

'I was going to ask you. But if you would rather do something else...'

Unfortunately for Mike, Tyler happened to look over his shoulder and read the note.

"Jeesh, don't they know you're going with Jess?"

Mike glared at his best friend, "I'm not going with Jess; she's just deluded herself into thinking we are. I didn't even get to give her a response. Ignore her, she's putting words in my mouth again."

"So? You shouldn't break her heart like that," Tyler was saying as they walked towards the cafeteria. "If she thinks you're going with her, why not? It's not like you have to think of it as going as a date; just tell her you'll go with her as friends."

He shrugged as he finished his explanation.

"You're a fucking ass, you know that?" Mike replied. "If I tell her that, she'll still be broken hearted. I don't even want to go with her; she's clingy and obsessive."

Tyler didn't seem too concerned about it, "Mike, you're no Edward Cullen; I'm pretty sure that was just a one-off thing. All the girls had a thing for him at some point."

To that, Mike just kicked his best friend in the shin and sulked off to find somewhere in the cafeteria where he could eat and not have to put up with Tyler's idiocy and Jessica's constant arms. Alice waved him over to her table in the corner which, as always, was empty of everyone but her.

"Hey handsome," she greeted. "How was your morning?"

"Tyler's being an ass again," Mike replied, sliding into a seat across from her. "And I got a note from my secret admirer."

"Spill. Right now." Alice gave him a stern look as she played with her apple. "I want details."

"Well, they wanted to know if I was really going to the dance with Jess, and I told them no and asked why. They actually admitted to wanting to ask me, but then wrote that if I wanted to do something else, that was fine with them. Tyler seems to think that they're the one being a jerk since, apparently, I'm going with Jess." He rolled his eyes; as much as he loved Tyler, the guy was an idiot.

"Well, what are you going to do?" Alice asked after a few moments of silence.

"I kind of really want to know who this person is," Mike replied. He took a bite of his sandwich, and looked very thoughtful when he continued, "It's just, it seems like they actually care about wanting to get to know me and actually, well, are aware of what I like. I'm sort of torn; if it's a girl, then I'm going to have to let her down gently."

Alice cocked her head to the side, "And if it's not?"

"Well, I'll go from there. Still, I'd like to keep it on the down low if it is a guy." Mike sighed, "I'm really hoping that this isn't some stupid prank to out me in front of the whole school."

Alice reached over and patted his hand, "Mike, I'm sure that it's not that. If it was, then they would have done it a long time ago." She smiled, "C'mon, you must have some idea of who it could be."

"Not really," he shrugged. "I don't think I've been obvious enough for any of the guys to figure it out."

"That's no fun." She pouted.

He gave her a sharp look, "I've got the strangest feeling that you have some idea of who this person is. Wanna clue me in?"

"Nope," she giggled. "I promised that I wouldn't tell."

"You're horrible. Does this mean I just have to wait and bide my time to find out?"

"Yep. But I don't think that you're going to be disappointed, and that's all I'm going to say."

.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:.

Two days later, Mike found an envelope in his locker, his name written on the front in the same handwriting that all of his notes and cards from his admirer had been in. Curious, he opened the envelope; the first thing that he pulled out was a note.

'I heard that you wanted to avoid the dance; want to go with me?'

Also inside the envelope were two tickets to an art gallery opening in Seattle – the same day as the dance. He stared at them for a moment, then tucked them back into the envelope which he shoved into his bag. Then, he pulled out his notebook and ripped out a piece of paper to write out a response. 'Yeah, sure. Not exactly what I had in mind, but anything's better then here.'

Shoving it back into his locker, Mike left school for the day, feeling giddy.

When he returned the next morning, he found that there was a response.

'Do you need a drive?'

Mike thought about that one for a moment. His parents usually wouldn't have a problem with him taking the car out for a drive, but Seattle? That was a little far and his dad was a little on the side of paranoid parents. Plus, his mom would be out of town for the weekend, so his dad would be looking after them...

'Yeah, that would be appreciated. Do I get to meet you soon?'

Mike found a response after lunch: 'Maybe. I thought the point of secret admirers, though, is that they're secret.'

He snorted at that, 'That might be the point of it, but I don't want to die of shock when whoever-you-are show up on my doorstep on Friday. So come on, please?'

Normally, Mike didn't check his locker after school, but he sort of was hoping that there would be a response because it was Wednesday and the dance was Friday. He'd think of an excuse for why he wasn't going to be at the dance on Friday – skipping on Friday sounded like a good idea, his dad would be taking his mom to the airport so no one would be home – at another point. Playing sick would work well enough.

He wasn't really paying attention to where he was going, so it was really no surprise that he walked smack into the door post that marked the midway point of the hallway. Grumbling out a slew of swears, Mike was about to push himself back to his feet when a pale hand was offered in front of his face.

"Do you need some help?"

Looking up, Mike nearly froze. Edward Cullen was standing in front of him, offering his hand to help him back to his feet. Blushing, Mike looked away but accepted the hand, muttering out a thanks as he did so.

Edward was smiling, "You're not usually here so late."

Mike shrugged, "I uh... needed to get something."

"Oh? You mean this." And much to Mike's surprise, Edward held out the piece of paper that he'd been communicating to his admirer with. "You did say that you wanted to meet me."

Mike's jaw dropped and he stared at the other boy for several moments, in shock. He couldn't believe it; Edward Cullen, the gorgeous guy sought after by every girl in Forks High was gay? Was gay and interested in him? It was just too much.

"Are you joking?" He crossed his arms when he finally got his brain to stop malfunctioning and start working again. He gave Edward his best glare.

Edward was still smiling, but it looked genuinely sincere, "I'm serious. I've wanted to ask you out for a while but, well, I just never had the courage. This seemed like the best opportunity."

"What were you going to do if I wasn't–"

"Alice told me about you." Here, Edward had the decency to look a little sheepish. "I knew that you and her were friends, so I asked her if she knew if you had a girlfriend... she, um, was pretty ecstatic when I told her. I made her promise not to tell you though."


There was silence for a few moments until Edward broke it, "Do you still want to go with me? The artist is an old friend of Esme's."

The name clicked; Edward's step-mother.

"I said I'd go, and it's a hell of a lot better then being dragged to a dance by Jess."

Edward smiled, "When do you want me to pick you up?"

Mike smiled back this time, "Whatever works for you; you're driving."

"Does four work?"

"Works fine," Mike replied, turning and walking out of the building with Edward. After a few moments of quiet conversation, the two separated in the parking lot. Mike noticed that there was a spring in Edward's step that hadn't been there before.

Well, hell, he had found his first boyfriend in a small town. Who would have guessed?


Holy shit, this turned out longer than I thought. This was supposed to be for a drabble-a-thon, but it morphed into this. So... SURPRISE! I hope that this is appreciated; I put a bit of effort into this so I hope it's enjoyed.

Gosh, I've wanted to write Edward/Mike for a while...

Read and review please!