Disclaimer: I sooooo don't own Glee.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or alerted this story! It really makes me feel good about writing. I love doing it, but the motivation given to me just makes it that much more loveable! :)
Okay, so I've decided that I'm disregarding Jesse St. James completely. While I do love him and think that Jonathan Groff is completely gorgeous, his presence in the story would throw things off. I need Rachel to be with Finn. Sorry to anyone this may upset!
I'm really hoping this chapter helps to move the story along, as well as the next one. This one puts a lot of focus on Kurt and Quinn's relationship. It's really long and gets pretty heavy and emotional and it may be a little confusing, I don't know, but everything will be explained in due time, my sweets. Enjoy the newest chapter!
Hey soul sister,
ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio,
stereo, the way you move ain't fair you know!
Hey soul sister,
I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight.
"Hey, Soul Sister" by Train
For the first half of the two weeks they had to prepare their duet, Kurt decided that in order to properly manage his time and lifestyle, he needed to equally split his time between school, moisturizing, planning with Quinn and trying to avoid Puck. Of course, Kurt hadn't been counting on avoiding Puck being as hard as it was. He should have realized when he'd pulled Quinn's name out of the hat that it was God's way of playing a cruel joke on him.
Kurt realized how stupid he'd been after looking back on their discussion about where to hold their first practice. He hadn't thought to ask where Quinn lived when she suggested he come over to her place. When the singer got a text from the former cheerleader on Monday after school he took it all in stride, not thinking it was important to ask about just who exactly her house mates were. You see, Kurt Hummel had stopped caring about what happened in Quinn Fabray's life right after she'd seen fit to torture Finn. All he'd cared about was that she got kicked out of his crush's house, making the quarterback more available for Kurt. Where Quinn lived had no relevance in his life anymore.
So when Monday evening arrived and Kurt Hummel showed up at the house that his GPS had directed him to, he nearly crapped his Chanel pants when Noah Puckerman was on the other side of the bell he rang.
Upon seeing who he was answering the door for, Puck moved to the side, grunted something that sounded like "Upstairs" and slammed the door shut after Kurt walked in. The jock looked as aggressive as ever with his arms crossed in that defensive way of his. Kurt was still at a loss as to why Puck was being so hostile to him, but he'd take that over getting beaten up any day – not that he had completely ruled that out as never happening yet.
As he was walking up the stairs, Kurt quickly took in his surroundings. Believe it or not, it seemed like a completely normal house. It surprised him that someone like Puck lived here. In what Kurt assumed was the living room, Puck, a young girl – Puck's sister? – and what appeared to be Puck's mom were seated around the television. The only person really paying attention to the screen seemed to be the older lady who also had tissues with which she was swiping away a stray tear.
Kurt realized that he had no clue where to go when he reached the top of the stairs. He flat out refused to look like an idiot by going back down the stairs and asking Puck which was Quinn's room but he also didn't want to feel like a snoop by opening all the doors.
In a quiet voice he called out, "Um, Quinn?" There was no response.
Okay, no such luck. Just go around and knock on each door; use process of elimination.
The well groomed teen felt like a total moron after knocking softly on the first two doors with no answer. He was considering running out of the house, jumping into his baby and getting away from this house forever when the third door he was knocking on was opened by Quinn Fabray.
"Oh thank God," Kurt said as he walked past the blonde and threw himself on the bed in the middle of the room. He didn't care if Quinn was still sort of an acquaintance and he was sitting on her bed uninvited, right now he just wanted to lie down and close his eyes. If there was one thing Kurt Hummel hated, it was feeling embarrassed.
Quinn just giggled at the tousled looking boy sprawled across her bed. A Kurt that wasn't absolutely pristine wasn't a sight she was used to seeing.
"Everything alright, Kurt? You seem a little, ah, upset." The girl said, silently sniggering the whole time.
Quickly, Kurt sat up and glared at Quinn who was still standing in the door frame.
"You didn't tell me you lived with Puck!" The boy said, his quiet words filled with heat. The pregnant girl sobered up a little bit at being attacked and crossed her arms defensively.
"You didn't ask. And besides why does it matter?" Quinn asked.
At the question, Kurt's features looked incredulous, "Why does it matter? Why does it matter? It matters because he is the jerk who always throws me in dumpsters and who I'm pretty sure is planning a surprise attack in which he's going to murder me! It matters because when he opened the door downstairs, I almost had a freaking heart attack and if I would have fallen to the floor, I would have gotten some of my best clothes dirty! That, Quinn, is why it matters!" Kurt's already high pitched voice was reaching a point where soon, only dogs would hear it and the singer realized he was on the verge of becoming hysterical again.
You've gotten everything out – now just calm down. Kurt thought and he started forcing himself to take deep, soothing breaths.
Quinn closed the door and walked over to the edge of the bed, interrupting Kurt's meditating with her small voice, "I'm sorry I didn't warn you that I lived with Noah; I guess I didn't think about how it might affect you…" The girl instinctively put her hands on her large belly as if it comforted her. She then sat down next to the small boy, taking his hand in hers and placing it on the bulge as a peace offering. It was such an intimate gesture, Kurt didn't know how to react.
It was quiet for a minute or two while Quinn moved Kurt's hand around her stomach to places where he could feel the baby moving inside. The brunette knew that, as much of a diva as he was, this miracle had put him in his place. He was in awe of the baby alive inside the girl sitting beside him.
The spell of silence was broken by the voice of the soon to be mother. She sounded at peace but Kurt could still hear tears laced through her voice, "You know his mom won't even let me eat bacon? That's my favorite food. What if my baby doesn't like bacon because she never got to try it while she was inside of me? Living here has been… insane," Quinn said, shaking her head as if trying to get rid of unwanted thoughts.
When she brought her head up, you could see the tears running down her face.
"I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful. I owe so much to Noah and his mom for taking me in after what happened with Finn," Quinn's voice broke when she said her ex-boyfriend's name but she kept talking despite the fact that she was upset, "I just sometimes think about how things might have been if nobody had ever found out about Puck being the father."
Kurt should have hated the girl for wanting to go back to a time when she was lying to Finn, but seeing her in the state she was in canceled out any harsh feelings he may have once felt. This was a girl who was truly hurting. She'd gone through so much that a girl shouldn't have to worry about going through and no matter how horrible she'd been to Finn, she was still a good person. Kurt used his hand that wasn't on Quinn's pregnant belly to gently touch the girl's shoulder and he began to massage it. He heard a sigh of relief before the girl kept talking.
"You know, I still miss him all the time," There was no need to explain who he was, "When I see him talking to Rachel in the halls or holding hands with her during Glee. I remember when that used to be me he would walk to class. It's like I was so close to finding happiness with a really great guy and then something had to come along and screw it up."
Tears began falling at a faster pace down Quinn's face and Kurt could think of nothing to do. In a way, he understood what she was going through. He loved Finn too and wanted to be with him more than anything, but he knew that would never happen.
"And then, Noah comes along telling me he wants to care for the baby and that we'll get a house and raise it. And for a second I think maybe, just maybe, Puck's my second chance. He would be wonderful, too. He's gorgeous, he's got ambition, and he really loves this baby! He'd definitely be a great second chance. But he doesn't love me. Noah thinks he's got me tricked, but I know that he only wants to stick around for the baby. He doesn't wanna be with me, but he would do it, I can see it in his eyes. And God I love him for it! I love him so much. Kurt, it hurts so badly to see both of them every day at school and to pretend that my whole world isn't crumbling down. I love them both and it's tearing me apart. I just want to let go. I need to let go, if not for my heart, then for my sanity. I have to let go of those two…"
The blonde was shaking with sobs and put her head against Kurt's tiny chest. Instinctively, Kurt's skinny arms wrapped around the crying girl and he held her while her tears stained his expensive shirt. He thought it was a testament to their growing friendship that he didn't slap her for ruining his clothes.
I couldn't slap her if I tried. She's so sweet, so harmless. If I wasn't as gay as they come, this is the girl I would be in love with.
Kurt's voice cracked with emotion that was coursing through his veins, but he had to say something comforting to the girl who was drenching his shirt with her tears.
"I… I know how you feel. Well, not completely. But you know as well as I do how I feel about Finn. I'm so ashamed of it too because I know that he's never going to like boys. I feel like such a masochist. It's like I set myself up for failure. Every guy I've ever had a crush on has been out of reach, but with Finn, I honestly think I let myself fall in love with him. Or the idea of him, I'm not sure which. Either way, it wasn't just some silly schoolboy crush."
The foolishness of Kurt's love for the straight, all-American, quarterback of the football team came crashing down on him. How had he been so stupid as to think that Finn could have feelings for him? Without realizing it, Kurt found that he had tears on his cheeks and that they weren't slowing down as they continued to track down his face.
"I think we both need to get over what we're never going to have," Kurt whispered into Quinn's hair, as her face was still resting on his chest.
Feeling stronger than he had in a very long time, Kurt released the hand of the blonde that he had ended up holding and gently touched her chin, bringing it up to face him. She was struggling to stop crying and replace the frown on her face with a thin, watery smile.
The brunette boy used his thumbs to wipe off the tears that were silently trailing down her pale cheeks. She was very beautiful; he was gay and even he could appreciate that. And she was fragile. She needed someone to be there for her and to help her become stronger. Right then and there, Kurt decided he would be that person for his ex-enemy.
Because it's not just you that needs me, Quinn. We need each other.
Kurt looked into the girl's eyes as he dropped his hand from her chin and said quietly, "Quinn, I know what song we're going to sing for the duet."
The second time the pair were scheduled to meet, Kurt decided that he would invite Quinn over to his house so that he wouldn't have to worry about coming face to face with the jerk, Puck, again. Kurt had driven her back to his place from school on Wednesday and when they arrived, the countertenor had taken her to the kitchen to eat some of the oatmeal raisin cookies he'd made the night before from his mom's old recipe.
This small gesture of friendship had been enough to set Quinn's pregnancy hormones over the edge and while they'd sat at the table with their cookies and glasses of skim milk, the blonde girl had red-rimmed, teary eyes.
It was this scene that Burt Hummel was welcomed home by and to say the least, he was a bit confused.
The whole thing had been more than a little embarrassing for both father and son. Burt had called Kurt into the hall, asking him to "Please, please, please tell me you're not the one who got that girl pregnant". Kurt had shuddered at the thought; he explained to his father that he may think Quinn is beautiful, but in the way that he thinks a perfectly designed jacket from Alexander McQueen is beautiful.
"And I do not have sex with jackets, dad," the teenage boy had added on, just to provide some emphasis.
After that incident, it didn't take very long for Burt to become enamored by Quinn's charm. It was nearly an hour later that Kurt was finally able to steal Quinn away from his dad and take her down to his basement bedroom.
When Kurt had explained the perfect song for their duet and then played it for the girl on his iPod on Monday night at Puck's house, Quinn had, after crying for half an hour, decided that the song was incredible and that it would be perfect for both of them and their situations.
The flamboyant teen had whole-heartedly agreed and couldn't wait to get started with the actual practicing. However, down in his bedroom, practicing seemed to be becoming a more and more distant fantasy. Every time words would start playing in the song where Quinn was supposed to begin singing, all she could do was choke out a few syllables before she began sobbing so uncontrollably that Kurt couldn't understand her.
When this had happened four times and didn't seem to be getting any better, the fashionista decided that maybe it was time for a break.
That was how it came to be that Kurt was snuggling on his bed with, not only a girl, but Quinn Fabray. It was hard to keep from laughing at the irony of the situation as he rubbed the girl's shoulders with his soft hands and she cried into his goose down pillows. It was still difficult to understand her but it became increasingly easier as the sobs died down and every now and then Kurt could pick up something about her being "all alone in the world".
Finally, the girls cries died down completely and Kurt almost thought she was asleep until he heard a voice muffled by his pillows, "You know, I'm probably never gonna lose all this freaking baby weight."
It hadn't taken Kurt long in their friendship to realize that Quinn brought up the most random things that were bothering her. Baby weight being one of them.
"And I'll have stretch marks. I'm gonna be ugly and deformed. I'll never be able to have sex because I refuse to take my clothes off for anyone after I have this baby. Nobody's gonna see me looking like a fat cow. Not that anyone is going to want to have sex with me anyway because I'll be so gross."
Quinn turned herself over so she was facing the ceiling and wailed out, "Ughhhh, my life SUCKS!"
Kurt had never seen Quinn act so real and, even though it was whining that was bringing out the true Quinn, he didn't want her to stop. He liked learning about his new friend and it would also help her to get all of the stuff she couldn't talk about with Puck off of her chest.
"Quinn, darling, you are going to be anything but fat, trust me. That's the upside to having a baby while you're still young, you keep your metabolism," Kurt said with a smile, glad all the same that he could never be pregnant.
But the blonde girl wasn't buying any of it.
"Bullshit! Don't you bullshit me Kurt Hummel! I will never wear size one pants again! I'm a whale of a monster, just look at me. I guess I'm glad that my first time was with Puck since I won't ever be having sex again. At least he's hot. And he was pretty good, if you know what I mean."
A pensive look settled across the blonde's face.
"At least I think he was. I don't remember too well, I was drunk on wine coolers," she said with a shrug, like she just didn't care anymore. Then Quinn just started laughing, unexplained and uncontrollably. She was laughing so hard that Kurt sat up and was starting to worry about what might happen to the baby if she kept laughing like she was.
"Um, Quinn?" The boy reached out to touch Quinn's shoulder as she was rolling around on the bed, "Are you okay? You were just crying and now… well, now you're kinda scaring me."
"I'm… sorry. Sorry, Kurt." Quinn wheezed out, trying to control her insane laughter. "There's something fucking wrong with me."
The male diva was taken aback by Quinn dropping the F-bomb – she didn't seem like the type to use it unless she was extremely pissed. He guessed he had a lot to learn about her.
Because Kurt wanted to get to know Quinn better and just because he could, the boy decided that he wanted to make Quinn feel better about losing her original size after the baby. He'd never shown anyone this except for Mercedes and that had taken a lot of time for him to gain the trust he needed. But Quinn had already opened up so much to him and he honestly felt like he could trust the former snob and Cheerio already. He wanted her to see this.
What have you got to lose? He asked himself as he began to unbutton his top to show her the thing that scared him most in life.
"Uh, Kurt, I may be a little delusional right now, but are you taking off your shirt? Not that you're not like, attractive or anything like that, it's just… well… you're gay. And I'm clearly not a guy." Quinn looked extremely lost and a little apprehensive. Kurt almost smiled at the silly girl. Instead he continued to steadily open up his shirt before taking it off completely.
Quinn's gasp was audible.
Kurt could hear the horror fused into her voice as she spoke, "Kurt!" There was a long pause as she tried to gather her thoughts into something coherent, "What… what happened, Kurt?" she finished softly. The boy could tell that a thousand different scenarios were running through the girl's head about how his body had gotten into this state.
He didn't talk about it much. It'd taken him months to tell Mercedes. It was a forbidden topic between him and his dad because it hurt too much. No one else knew except God… And of course his mother, who, he knew, was watching over him in Heaven.
At the thought of his mother, Kurt began to question his sanity.
What the Hell am I doing? He thought loudly to himself. This is a girl I barely know and I'm about to spill my darkest secret to her!
He had almost completely changed his mind when he looked up into Quinn's eyes and saw the look of pure concern that they held.
No, it was okay to tell Quinn about this. It may be a lot heavier than being fat after having a baby, but he felt like it was the right thing to do.
"Car crash. There was lots of fire," he said, indicating the shiny scars on his upper torso. He could feel the tears coming and tried to cover them with a smile, but that was impossible to do. Slowly but surely, the tears began to fall.
"Mom didn't make it."
"Oh, Kurt!" Quinn breathed, wrapping her arms around the broken boy and drawing him in. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know! And here I am whining about how I'm fat, like that even matters! I'm so sorry, Kurt. You have no idea how sorry I am." Now Quinn was crying just as hard as Kurt was and neither could tell whose tears were whose. Soon though, Kurt remembered his original intentions to make the blonde feel better instead of bad like he was currently doing.
"Quinn," Kurt said, his voice quiet and still cracking with emotion and tears, "it was a long time ago. I still miss her but I'm okay about losing her. It was just her time to go and be with Jesus. These scars – they represent a lot to me: loss and imperfection, but most of all, strength. If I had the strength to get through what happened to me, then I have the strength to get through anything. I know it's not an exact comparison to what you're going through but just know that you'll get through it. All wounds and stretch marks even, heal into something that will make you a better and stronger human being in the end."
With his speech finished, he took a deep breath and sighed. That had gone a lot smoother than it could have. He hadn't thrown or broke anything like he had when explaining to Mercedes (he'd still had a lot of pent up anger at the time). And he felt a lot better. He hadn't expected that to happen, he'd only been doing this to make Quinn feel better.
Huh. Who knew?
Surprisingly, Quinn was the one to break the teary silence.
"You know Kurt, how about we practice that song?" She said with a sad, but genuine smile. Kurt took her hand and led her off the bed before pushing play on his iPod and letting the music serenade them.
The next day after school, the newly close friends decided to bond a little bit over something dearly loved by both parties: shopping. Kurt momentarily 'forgot' to explain to the blonde that he actually had a very good reason for this therapeutic shopping spree.
Not that I'm thinking about it. 'Cause I'm totally not.
The singer was desperately trying to repress what had happened when Quinn had been picked up from his house last night. He wasn't doing a very good job though, and this led to the boy being overly spastic. He succeeded in channeling all his excess energy into being excessively enthusiastic about his day. Not that he wasn't always enthusiastic about shopping and hanging out with friends, but today, he was putting on a show.
Kurt drove the pair to the mall in his baby, blasting his musical soul mate, Rihanna, loudly the whole way there. He took it upon himself to be a traditional drama queen and very loudly interpret the lyrics.
"Oh my God, Quinn, please don't stop the music!"
"I don't intend to, Kurt! Cause we're out here on the dance floor, acting naughty!" she yelled back, not missing a beat.
Oh, Quinn Fabray, where have you been all my life? And why must you have a vagina?
Enjoying being with the girl, Kurt almost forgot about what had happened with Puck. Or Noah. Or whatever the hell his fucking name was.
Kurt stopped thinking for a second and took a deep breath. He was starting to get agitated again and he couldn't have that.
Think happy thoughts.
By the time the couple reached the mall, Kurt had to fix his hair in the mirror and Quinn had to reapply her lip gloss – their Rihanna singing session had been intense. They got out of the Navigator, linking arms and sashaying into the Dillard's mall entry.
"OH MY GOD! Look at these shoes!" Kurt squealed, unashamedly. "If only I didn't have man feet!" He continued, overcompensating with eagerness, holding up the strappiest pair of black leather high heeled shoes Quinn thought she had ever seen.
"You have to try them on! Please, just indulge me!" The fashionista whined to the girl who was looking around to see if anyone had noticed the scene Kurt was making. She'd never been shopping with anyone as… enthusiastic about shopping as Kurt was. It would have been very refreshing if it hadn't been so scary.
Finally, Quinn gave in and tried on the shoes, really enjoying the way they looked on her small feet, but not enjoying the price tag that came along with it. When the girl had tried to tell Kurt that they were a little out of her price range, he would have none of it.
"Think of it as an early Christmas present," the diva said as he whipped out his credit card and placed it on the counter along with the shoes.
The rest of the afternoon passed in a haze of clothes, shoes and accessories. After forcing Quinn to try on every single article of clothing in Juicy Couture (despite her pregnant belly) and trying on a few himself, Kurt suggested that the pair head to the food court and get some refreshments before they continue in their hunt for the best bombshell outfit for Quinn.
'A girl has to look good after they pop a baby out of their belly, after all.' Kurt hadn't hesitated to tell the pregnant teenager as he picked out some ridiculously tiny clothes for her to look at.
The bag laden friends lugged their purchases to a table and took turns between watching the goods and ordering smoothies from Jamba Juice. Kurt went first because he really needed to up his sugar levels if he was going to continue to be Overly-Zealous-Kurt today.
The diva moaned as he sat at the table with Quinn and slurped down his strawberry and banana smoothie; nothing tasted better than his comfort food, especially when he was drinking it while in a mall. One thing was for sure, Kurt Hummel definitely knew how to make himself feel better after a rough night.
"Kurt, I don't want to pry or anything…" Quinn's voice sounded as Kurt was blissed out by his smoothie, dragging him back to reality. It took his boggled mind a moment to register that he wasn't drowning in smoothie like he'd been daydreaming about.
Kurt really didn't want to talk about what he knew was coming. The whole point of repressing something was to not think about it! It seemed, however, that he was failing miserably at doing just that.
"But you seemed pretty upset last night when Noah picked me up. But now you seem really… scarily happy," she said with a smile on her face, showing she meant no harm by calling him scary, "Do you wanna talk about it?" Quinn seemed really unsure about probing but at the same time, Kurt caught something in her eyes that looked suspiciously like scheming. If the boy hadn't been really paying attention, it would have gone unnoticed; but now that he was thinking about it, the devious look had been present the entire time they'd been shopping.
Kurt imperceptibly narrowed his eyes and cautiously took another sip of his smoothie. What was going on here?
"I'm fine, Quinn. I was thrown off last night, that's all. I didn't expect Puck to see me… like that." Kurt said with a grimace. "But I don't blame him."
That was a lie. Kurt totally blamed him, however unfairly. It was Puck after all; everything bad should be blamed on him.
"Oh. Yeah. I totally understand." Quinn said, taking an extended drink of her smoothie, the gleam in her eye becoming a little more noticeable. Kurt became hyper-aware of the suspicious looking blonde.
"So you don't think Noah's a horrible person?"
Where was this coming from?
"Oh no, I definitely still think he's a horrible person," Quinn's face fell a little as he said this and the male diva decided to milk it in order to see how the girl would react. "I hate Puck more than I hate the color orange. And let me tell you, that is a lot. Whoever discovered orange needs to be shot at least ten times."
What he was saying wasn't a lie, although it may have been a little bit exaggerated. Kurt didn't necessarily hate Puck, he just severely disliked the huge asshole of a jock.
Quinn took on a very thoughtful look that Kurt didn't like very much. He continued to drink his smoothie, glad that he'd ordered a large so he wouldn't run out very quickly. He needed something to occupy him if awkward questions were going to continue coming from Quinn, which they did.
"How would you react if Noah started acting like a decent human being to you? What I mean is," Quinn said, brushing a piece of hair out of her face, "do you think you could ever forgive him for being such a jackass?"
Whatever the boy had thought was going to come out of Quinn's mouth, that had definitely not been it. The idea that Puck could ever be even slightly civil to the boy he deemed a 'fucking faggot' was preposterous.
"Well considering that it's never going to happen and if it did, it would throw off the balance of the universe, I would probably self destruct and my head would explode."
Kurt smiled at the puzzling girl in front of him. He figured the best way to regard Quinn's weird questions was with sarcasm. Actually that was the best way to deal with anything involving Noah "Puck" Puckerman. You never wanted how you were truly feeling to show.
Because believe it or not, Kurt actually felt quite a lot on the subject of Puck, he just flat out refused to let it show. He felt frightened and vulnerable (though no one would ever know that because his ice-cold, bitch routine was just that good). He felt superior and bitter. Just recently, he'd come to feel pity and confusion. And even a little bit of – could he think it without gagging? – attraction.
Kurt outwardly shuddered and took a huge drag on his smoothie like he was a smoker getting his nicotine fix.
The brunette singer couldn't help it that he found Puck sexually attractive. There was everything about him that was unquestionably sexy. Puck radiated sex appeal. So yes, Kurt loathed the jock and wanted to punch him in the throat every time he saw him walking down the hall, but there was no denying the fact that he was smokin' hot. As sick to the stomach as that made him feel.
Kurt couldn't figure out why, but what he'd said seemed to make Quinn a little bit annoyed, though she was trying to hide it. He didn't want his new friend to be angry at him, so he decided to throw her a bone.
"If I was ever going to forgive Puck, he would have to be willing to beg and grovel at my feet. Then I might consider not being a total bitch to him."
There. That was as nice as Kurt was going to get when it came to Puck.
"Hmm. Understandable." The girl shrugged her small shoulders and nodded her head, looking thoughtful as she chewed on her straw. A silence ensued that made Kurt feel awkward. It took him several seconds to realize that he had drunk all the strawberry-banana goodness and was now just managing to make slurping noises; it was definitely time to get back to shopping.
"Okay, lady, it's time to stop talking about losers and get you some sexy clothes. You're gonna need 'em when you meet Mr. Right," the countertenor said with a Cheshire cat grin on his delicate face as he dragged the blonde girl up towards the nearest store, intending to spend lots of his daddy's money.
Kurt woke up rubbing his eyes on Saturday morning, exceedingly groggy. The evening before he had convinced his dad to let Quinn stay the night ("Honestly dad, I do not find boobs attractive, nothing is going to happen!") and they had stayed up until two in the morning practicing their duet and talking fashion and boys.
The sleepy boy looked over to see that Quinn was still dead to the world on the other side of his king sized mattress. He rolled out of bed, glad that Quinn was still out because he didn't feel like talking. As he turned on the hot water of his shower and stepped in under the pressure, his thoughts drifted back to the conversation of the previous night…
"So what do you like when it comes to guys?" Quinn asked excitedly, the scheming gleam in her eye having never left since the day they'd gone shopping. "I mean, I've never had a gay friend before. I've always wondered what it'd be like to have one…" The girl seemed to realize that what she was saying might be offensive and trailed off a bit, "I'm… I'm just curious…"
Kurt knew better than to be offended. He was gay and he fully embraced that, it was okay if Quinn was interested. The guilty look on the girl's face made the small boy chuckle.
"It's okay Quinn, I promise!" He said, playfully smacking his friend's arm, causing her to smile. "You know, I'm not completely positive what I find attractive in guys. I would like to say that I like them tall, dark and handsome, but the boy I'm freaking in love with only meets the tall criterion… I honestly don't know why I'm so hooked on Finn. Quite frankly, he's an idiot and is only averagely attractive..."
He stopped talking mid-thought. The more he considered it, the more Kurt just couldn't pin down a reason why he liked Finn so much. It was crazy; he'd spend so many hours of his life mooning over the boy and he couldn't even come up with a single reason why!
"Wow. I think I just got over Finn Hudson."
And all of a sudden, that statement was so, painstakingly true. Try as he might, Kurt couldn't find it in himself to love his long time crush anymore. What really shocked him was how much it hurt. He'd been so head over heels for Finn his entire high school career that he was lost now that Finn didn't hold that appeal for him.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so happy for you!" Quinn lunged across the bed and wrapped Kurt into a hug. "You know what this means, don't you? It means we have to find you a new guy! Preferably a gay guy this time!"
Kurt pushed away the hurt he was feeling; Quinn was so excited and he didn't want to ruin the moment.
He allowed himself to laugh lightly, "And where in the world am I supposed to find one of those in Lima, Ohio?"
"Oh, I don't know. We'll just have to look really hard. So now that you're over Finn, who do you think is the hottest guy in school?"
Huh. Who did I think the hottest guy in school was?
"Personally, I think it's Puck. I mean, come on! He's freaking hot! We may have our issues with each other, but there's no denying the fact that he's gorgeous. Noah freaking Puckerman…"
A pink flush found its way to Kurt's cheeks. Thinking of Puck while he was in the shower made his downstairs appendage a little too excited.
He didn't want to be thinking about Puck at all, but lately it seemed that he couldn't not think about the jock. Quinn was bringing him up literally all the time and the manic look in her eyes had yet to go away. Kurt really just wanted to figure out what she was up to but he could never find her angle.
The now squeaky clean boy shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, toweling himself off. He figured he'd better go face the sleeping girl on his bed even if she was probably going to bombard him with images of Puck. After he got dressed, he woke Quinn and went upstairs to make pancakes. They were going to need their energy if they were going to perfect their duet and make it better than Rachel's.
Later that evening, Kurt found himself driving his baby to Puck's house for the second time that week. He had done everything except beg Quinn to let them have practice at his house but the blonde had been unrelenting, insisting she'd intruded in his house for the entire week and Burt was probably getting tired of seeing her around.
In the end, Kurt had agreed to spend the evening at Puck's on the condition that the jock himself wasn't going to be there.
"Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure he'll be at, uh, Santana's or Finn's or something like that," the pregnant girl had replied, not quite meeting his eye.
Still, what choice did he have? He wanted to make his duet perfect and in order for that to happen, they needed to get in as much practice as possible.
The brunette reached Puck's house and made sure to lock his baby up tight before strutting to and knocking on the front door of the house.
Kurt couldn't say he was exactly surprised when it was Puck who answered the door. He knew Quinn was up to something (though he wasn't sure what) and her lie about him being at Santana's had not been a convincing one. But he definitely wasn't happy about it.
"Puckerman." The diva said, hand on hip, best bitch face on that he could muster.
"Hummel." Puck replied back, averting his eyes from the smaller boy's.
Without looking back, Kurt rushed through the door, inadvertently shaking his hips a bit more than necessary. As he made his way up the stairs, he was sure he felt a pair of eyes on his figure, though he wasn't going to look back to find out. This time, Kurt was able to confidently find his way to Quinn's room and didn't even bother knocking as he opened the door and walked in.
Kurt couldn't help but smile when he saw the deer in headlights look on Quinn's face – she knew she'd been caught in her lie.
"Lying bitch," the boy joked as he closed the door. Being upset with Quinn wasn't an option when she looked at you with that smiling, guilty face of hers. "I'll get you back for this, you know I will."
Quinn just laughed as she hopped off the bed and stole Kurt's iPod that he had just pulled out of his bag.
"Let's get practicing, baby face."
Kurt took a few seconds to marvel at how close he'd gotten with Quinn in such a short period of time. They were able to laugh and joke and blow anything too serious off. He reveled in the fact that even though he knew she had something up her sleeve that she was planning, he still trusted her to be his friend. Kurt loved Mercedes and she would always be one of his closest friends, but he just felt a really special bond when it came to Quinn. Silently, Kurt thanked Mr. Schuester for assigning this project and fate for allowing this crazy, pregnant girl to be his partner.
The brunette found the song on his iPod and pushed play, letting the music wash over both of them. They would practice a few times with the words and then they would switch to an instrumental CD he had made.
By the time the pair had been practicing for two hours, they were disheveled and a little bit sick of listening to their duet song over and over again. It was coming along very nicely and Kurt was hopeful that out of all the duets, theirs would have the most meaning and be the best.
At least better than Berry's. I will shoot myself if she beats me. Again.
"Hey Kurt, you wanna freestyle it up a bit?" Quinn asked unexpectedly.
Singing something other than what they'd been at for two hours did sound incredibly appealing…
"Yeah, sure. What'd you have in mind?"
"I dunno. We'll decide after I go downstairs and get us some water. Be back in a sec," the blonde said and she whisked out of the room.
Kurt felt a little awkward sitting in Quinn's room alone. Quinn's room was in Puck's house so he wasn't just alone in her room; he was alone in the house of the jerk who'd picked on him for forever.
He looked out of the only window in the room and saw that the sun had started going down already. His dad was probably still out with Carole. Kurt would have to head home soon, before it got too late, but he still had time to jam out a little bit with Quinn.
As if on cue, the countertenor heard the door open and turned around from the window expecting to be handed a bottle of water. Kurt was taken aback when he saw Quinn dragging an extremely pissed off Noah Puckerman through the door along with his guitar.
If Kurt's wide eyes weren't a dead giveaway that he was completely shocked, confused and a little bit angry then the strangled noises currently coming from his throat definitely would be.
"Uh… water?" was all Kurt could manage to say, besides the odd squeal that forced itself out. He couldn't lie and say he wasn't scared. Being in a room with Puck when he looked that mad could never be a good idea.
"Oh, uh, I must've forgotten!" The blonde replied with an all too innocent smile, "But I thought that we could use Puck's guitar skills while we're singing."
Not wanting to upset Puck anymore, but not wanting to be in a close proximity with him either, Kurt said quietly, "We could have just used my iPod."
Shocking both Kurt and Quinn, Puck jumped in, saying, "Yeah, you could've just used his iPod, Quinn."
It wasn't that Puck agreed with Kurt that surprised the brunette the most, though that definitely did surprise him – it was how small and desperate his voiced sounded, completely contrasting with the angry features on his face.
The only girl in the room looked harrassed as she tried to grasp for words in order to form a comeback.
"Well… I just thought… Well, I mean… We're not using the damn iPod, okay?"
Puck may be frightening, but Quinn when she put her foot down was a force to be reckoned with and Kurt knew it was time to give up the arguing as a bad job. Sighing in frustration and superiority, Kurt sat himself on the girl's bed and crossed his legs and arms, looking like the poster child for bitchiness with his nose in the air.
"Anyway… I've got to, um, go to the bathroom. Or something."
Kurt heard rather than saw Quinn leave the room and close the door behind her, leaving the two boys by themselves. The tension that had already been in the closed space increased tenfold as soon as she was gone and the smaller boy couldn't believe how incredibly uncomfortable he felt being alone with Puck. But however awkward it was, Kurt refused to break the silence. Talking to the jock would make this awful situation worse and he would probably get punched in the face for 'infecting Puckzilla's personal space with queer' or some shit like that.
So it wasn't Kurt Hummel that spoke after a few moments of an uncomfortable silence.
"So… What uh… What song are, uh, you guys gonna sing, or whatever?"
Puck's unintelligible babble caught Kurt off guard. He raised his eyebrow and brought his eyes to look into the other boys. The jock had that same tortured look that Kurt had seen before but he also still looked angry. The two emotions were fighting a battle for dominance and Kurt didn't know how to interpret anything that was happening right now. He did know that he didn't want forced conversation to happen between the two of them because it would probably only make him feel worse about himself.
"You know, Puck, you don't have to talk to me. We can sit here and you can ignore me like you always do until Quinn gets back," the small boy said, tearing his eyes away from Puck's and down to his immaculate fingernails. It seemed that Kurt had stunned his enemy into silence because for the next few minutes, it was completely quiet. The hush around them was anything but peaceful, though. It was filled with an electrical charge that Kurt couldn't explain and made him severely uncomfortable.
Once again, it was Puck who broke through the charged air and spoke, "Hummel, why did you throw that smoothie on me?" His voice still had a desperate twinge to it and that was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.
Why? Why had he thrown the smoothie? Was Puck really that amazingly stupid? Kurt felt no compassion for the desperate boy standing in front of him, no matter how pitiful he sounded.
"Well I would have thought that much was obvious," Kurt said, bitch mode fully turned on. Puck was about to get a bite out of the biggest bitch around. The smaller boy looked at the mohawked teen like he was a fool and kept speaking coldly, "Because you were defenseless and I was sick and fucking tired of you throwing me into dumpsters and shoving me into lockers and calling me a queer!"
At this, the petite brunette stood up and took a few meaningful steps forward until he knew he was making Puck uncomfortable.
Good. Serves him fucking right.
"I'm gay, Puck. I know it. I embrace it. I am aware that it makes me different and maybe that scares you and your pathetically closed minded friends. But I am so much more than that and I have so much going for me. So yes. I. Am. Gay. But that's all people like you see me for."
For good measure, Kurt poked Puck in his chest to emphasize 'you' and then turned on heel and walked to the door, intending to leave. Quinn was taking way too long to actually be in the bathroom and whatever her deal was, he was not digging it. But before he could even touch the door knob, the door burst open and Quinn stood, holding a water bottle with a nervous smile that looked more like a grimace on her face. The look clearly said that the girl had been listening. He didn't know for how long, but apparently she had heard his part of the conversation.
Seeing the girl made another, better idea pop into his head. He wasn't going to leave. He was going to really let Puck know what was on his mind and rip him a new one at the same time. Mr. Schuester always said that singing was the best way to get your emotions out.
"You know what, Quinn? I have a song that I think we should sing. It will not be necessary for you to play, Puck. Sing along if you know the song, Quinn."
The catty teen knew that even if Quinn did recognize the song, she wouldn't sing along. Oh well. This was his time to shine. He searched through his list of artists before he found the one he was looking for and pressed play on the best song ever written.
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired
of all the hatred you harbor.Kurt could see recognition in the form of alarm arrive on Quinn's face – she knew what was coming and she knew it wasn't going to be pretty. He relished in this.
So you say
It's not okay to be gay
The brunette looked pointedly at the confused looking jock a few feet away.
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval
This was it. What he wanted to tell Puck so much that it hurt. God, he couldn't wait to see the arrogant jerk's face.
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Kurt decided right then and there, it was worth it if he were to get beat up because of the priceless look on Puck's face when it registered what he was hearing.
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch
Do you get
Do you get a little kick out of being small minded?
You want to be like your father
At this lyric, Kurt could see both Puck and Quinn tense up, but they were for different reasons. Quinn looked scared and her eyes darted over to Puck as if to see how he reacted. The football player himself dropped any emotion his face may have held. Kurt was glad that he hopefully struck a nerve.
It's approval you're after
Well that's not how you find it
Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where your soul should be
Your losing control of it and it's really distasteful
Puck started moving towards Kurt and the small singer didn't know why, but he didn't quit singing. He wasn't about to give that loser the roughly threw out his hand and grabbed the singing iPod, shoving his thumb into the pause button before throwing it down on the bed behind them. It happened in a matter of seconds and Kurt really didn't have time to react.
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
"I know you want to, Hummel, but I'm not a fucking queer like you."
With that, Puck walked out the door. Both people still in the room were frozen until they heard the front door slam from downstairs and knew that the half-back had left the house.
The hurt really sank in then and a sob ached through Kurt's chest as he stood, crumbling, in the middle of the room. His plan had backfired. His mind had stopped working properly. The diva honestly had no clue what to do now. And he didn't know why Puck's remarks had wounded him so deeply this time – it wasn't like him being called a queer was something new.
As the dry sobs continued, Quinn rushed over to her friend, wrapping him up in her arms and leading him to sit on the bed.
This just wasn't right! Singing had been supposed to make it better, but now he felt lower than low. How did Puck have this control over him? Never once in his life had he actually broken down because of anything the jock had thrown at him but now here he was, almost crying and being held and comforted by Quinn Fabray.
This was definitely not how things were supposed to happen. Kurt was not supposed to be held by Quinn as they both had tears running down their faces. And he was not supposed to be torn apart by that bastard Noah Puckerman. But it seemed that the world had turned upside down and nothing, absolutely nothing, was going to turn out right.
A/N: Just to clarify, this all took place over the time span of a week! I know there's a lot of Quinn but I really like her and she's important to the story. Next chapter should be about Puck and will explain things that weren't explained in this chapter.
The song that Kurt sings is "Fuck You" by Lily Allen. I thought it fit the situation pretty darn well.
Definitely let me know what you think. Was it too wordy? Boring? Did you like it? Did you hate it? I won't know unless you tell me! :)