Because I Hate You

Matt/Mello, Near being a total genius-y asshole. :D

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


What a pompous, know-it-all albino asshole with no life whatsoever. He's never been out in the sun before, mark my words. That's why he's so white. And he's fifteen. So why does he still play with puzzles and robots?


I blinked stared across the library table from Near, who had sat down unbeknownst to me in his unusual way, with one foot resting on the seat. A couple other kids stared at us peripherally, looking-but-not-looking, to witness a common Mello/Near fight.

Matt flipped a page in his magazine (not studying, as usual), and raised his eyebrows at the words. I knew they were meant for me, though, and I snapped off a bit of chocolate.

"What?" I asked irritably. Near smiled. I internally shuddered; Near's smile just looked odd.

"I am your adversary, right?"

Sure? "Whatever you say, Near." Honestly, I wasn't in the mood to argue. I was feeling a little ill, though I'd never admit that certain weakness to anyone.

"Even so, I hate to inquire this, but I have a favor to ask of you." Many of the bystanders gasped, and even Matt jerked his head up and gazed unfathomably at Near.

Slowly, I turned my head towards Near's chair. He perched on it like a tiny poodle, twiddling his hair and looking… smug.

What do you want, Near?

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"May I have a condom?"

I felt a sort of rage build up inside of me. Matt choked and tried to feebly cover it up by coughing, but the way his ears blended in with his hair was a little more than obvious that he was embarrassed.

I, the emotional one, apparently, still didn't do anything. I just sat and gaped at Near, while plenty of girls - and guys - whispered and blushed.

"You're fifteen," I managed, not exactly knowing what else to say. "You're too young."

Near sighed. "Not really. Intellectually I am incredibly older than fifteen, and I believe that physical age should not be connec-"

"No," I interrupted, pretending to read a book. I looked down.

"No?" Near was amused. "Why not, may I ask?"

"Because why would I give anything to you?" I retorted, slightly proud of the steadiness of my voice. Matt was silent, but he flipped another page. I know you're not reading, jackass, want to help me?

"It's a condom, Mello, not a house," Near said quietly. I refused to answer him.

"Could it be that you're a virgin?"

I disastrously tried to stifle a cough as I inhaled a piece of chocolate entirely too fast. Matt made some strangled noise.

"I take that reaction as a ye-"

"No!" I barked, shooing away all the others with a furious wave of my hand. "I'm not a virgin!"

Near smiled pleasantly. Again with that creepy smile… "For my curiosity, when did you-?"

"Go away, Near." I hissed.

"Can I at least get the condom. Please?"

"NO!" I slammed my hands down on the table. "No, I will never give anything to you!"

"That's a bit immature and unnecessary, Mello," Near twirled some white hair. "Are they in your room? I have a key." He pulled out a silver key from his front pocket.

I was too enraged about the condom situation to be enraged at the fact that he had a key to my room.

"Give me that!" I snapped, swiping for the key. It clattered to the floor with a metallically ting. Near stared at the miniscule space between his fingers.

"Why won't you give me a condom? I'll just go to your room to get it. You can stay here, if you like. I'll be back before you know it."

"Because," I growled, at loss for what to say. The real reason seemed too revealing.

"I don't want you in our room," Matt said unexpectedly, from his spot next to me. His eyes were glued to his magazine. "You'll break something." Good point, Matt, good point. Good thing you're here, I can barely think straight.

"I'm fifteen, not five," Near said, a monotonous edge creeping up on his voice. "Matt, do you have one?"

"Oh, uh-" Matt started, blushing again, crimson blossoms appearing on his cheeks. Damn redheads… Can't keep their blood in check.

"Interesting…" Near said, cocking his head. "So both of you are virgins? Well, I can't say I'm surprised… though I really thought that at least-"

"Shut up!" I groused. "Shut up, Near, we're not virgins, and we're not giving you a condom!"

"Why not?"

"Because I hate you!" I hissed, standing up forcefully. Matt's hand grabbed my arm, trying to tug me down. Snickers echoed around the library.

"But that's not a good enough reason," Near said. "Why-?"

"NO!" This time it was Matt who lost control.

"But why-?"

"Because I don't have one, because Matt can't get pregnant!" I screeched maliciously, stalking out of the library with my head high, a crumbly, dying Matt tailing me.

"Sorry about that." I said, once we were clear of the doors, the horrified/ecstatic faces, and Near's self-satisfied smirk.

Roger was uncomfortably waiting for us outside the door.

"Mello, Matt… I feel we should have a talk… I couldn't help but overhear-"

"Don't worry, Roger," Matt said brightly, as I scowled and trudged down the hallway. "No STD's, either."

I could hear Near's cackle even through the thick oak doors.

Soo... whataya think? A quick one-shot, not really any point to it... Just Mello finally admitting that he and Matt 'do it'. :D