A/N: So I pretty much got this idea because I was bored, and it's summer, and I was talking to my best friend Amanda about how when I was little I used to think that if I swallowed fruit seeds the fruit would grow out of my belly button. Yeah, I know, I'm a dork, haha. But I'm a cute one, so sue me. And I decided to write something because I realized that even though I have updated my chaptered fics in the last few days, I haven't posted anything completed in eight days (again) so I figured it was time.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: AU in which Sirius never goes to Azkaban, Remus never goes through hell living without him for twelve years, and though the Potters die, Sirius and Remus raise Harry.
Also, I'm not sure if they have freezers in the wizardry world (I'm tired and I don't wanna look it up now *yes I'm whining, lol*), but they do here. They have muggle appliances. So they live in a Muggle home.
It's a hot, sunny afternoon in London, and Sirius, Remus, and a four year old Harry are lying around in the living room, each of them shirtless and sweating heavily, despite the number of cooling charms Remus has casted around the room. They just seem to wear off too quickly, the humidity in the air eating at them faster than they can be casted.
Remus lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling and counting the number of cracks running along the surface, because really, it's so bloody hot, and staring at the ceiling is better (ok, not better, but safer, really) than staring at a shirtless and sweaty Sirius. Because staring at Sirius, even thinking of staring at Sirius, will make him hotter than he already is. "Just like that," Remus thinks, shutting his eyes tightly and trying to rid his mind of images of Sirius in various states of dress and undress, under him, over him, kneeling before him and….. Oh…. Remus groans, reminding himself that his four year old godson is in the room with them. And dear god, he did not used to be the pervert in this relationship. Sirius really has been a bad influence on him during all their years together.
He shivers slightly when he feels Sirius' hand ghost against his bare side.
"You ok Remus," Sirius asks, ghosting his long fingers over Remus' ribs and across his stomach. "You seem awfully quiet."
Remus nods quickly, fearing that his voice will crack if he tries to speak.
"It's just so hot Moony," Sirius whines, turning onto his stomach to face his lover and Remus finally opens his eyes to look over at the dark haired man, casting his no looking rule to the wind because it's just too hard not to look at Sirius, with his dark black hair and his grey eyes and his smiling red lips. He's just too hard to resist, heat be damned.
Harry mimics his dark haired godfather's actions, propping his chin onto one of his little hands as he rolls onto his stomach. "So hot Moo'y. Soooo hot." (and of course he doesn't mean it like that, but Sirius snorts anyways, even as he agrees, just because he's a perve, and Remus fondly rolls his eyes.)
Remus lets out a long, though purely playful, groan, throwing an arm over his eyes as he does so. "It's hardly my fault it's so hot around here and our bloody air conditioning chose now to be broken. Go stick you head in the freezer or something if you're so desperate to cool down."
Harry sits up quickly when he hears the suggestion, clapping his hands. "Ok," he says, a smiling spreading across his youthful face.
Remus arm shoots out, grabbing at the toddler and pulling him back down before he can stand up the rest of the way. "No Harry."
"But you just said to Moo'y," Harry whines, pouting softly as he plops back down onto his bottom.
"I wasn't being serious," Remus tells the little boy firmly, though there's a smile fighting to make its way onto his lips. It really is too hard to resist the little boy's adorableness.
"Of couwse not," Harry replies, his face the picture of innocence. "Pa'foo is Siwius."
Remus shoots a hand out to smack Sirius in the back of the head as the dog animagus muffles his snort into the carpet before he groans again, this time in a mixture of exasperation and annoyance, turning to glare at Sirius because really, it's entirely his fault that their godson has been made aware of that god awful pun. It really wasn't fair that Remus had to hear them so often, even if they were rather cute coming from a four year old. (and even if he did like telling people that yes, he is fucking Sirius. And he's damn proud of it too.)
"Moo'y… Pa'foo," Harry whines, interrupting Remus' attempts at penetrating Sirius' head with his aggravated (and slightly lustful) gaze. "I hot. It so hot. And I all sweaty."
"And you smell," Sirius says, teasing his young godson a little bit.
Remus rolls his eyes. He knows that Sirius just can't resist teasing the little boy. Harry was just so easy to rile up, especially when he was on the verge of becoming cranky.
Harry frowns at the black haired man, crossing his arms over his little chest. "You smell too! You smell weally, weally bad Pa'foo."
"Ha!" Sirius yells, "you admit that you smell. And I do not!" Sirius shouts out overdramatically, looking thoroughly offended by the remark.
"Do too!" Harry shouts back.
"Do not," Sirius sticks his tongue out as he says this.
Harry growls in frustration. "Moo'y! Tell Pa'foo that he stinks!"
"I'm not getting involved in this," Remus mutters, rolling onto his stomach and pushing himself up into a standing position. "I am going to go into the kitchen, like a mature individual would, and I am going to find something to cool me down. Do you two wanna come?"
Sirius sighs lazily from where he lays on the floor, raising up his arms. "Help me up Moony."
"No," Harry shouts, jumping up and tugging at the werewolf's pants. "Leave him thewe Moo'y. Come on, lets go. Huwwy, run!"
Remus laughs, turning his gaze from the frantic little boy who is still pulling at his leg to his lover, who is looking at him from beneath lowered lashes with his lips curved and…. oh, that's a look that should really be reserved for when they're alone.
"We can't leave him here Harry," Remus whispers, stooping down briefly to address the little boy. "it's so hot, he might melt. And you don't want him to melt, do you."
Harry turns to look at Sirius for a moment, biting at his lower lip. "No…. I don't want Pa'foo to melt. But I get all the good stuff if thewe isn't a lot of it."
"That's not fair!" Sirius shouts, standing up swiftly on his own.
Harry points a finger at him. "You would stand up by youwself! You didn't need Moo'y to help you!"
"But I like having Moony help me," Sirius says, wrapping his arms tightly around Remus' waist and burying his nose into the side of his neck.
Remus moans softly as their bare flesh comes into contact, sparks flying through him as his mind begins to cloud with the urge to push closer to his boyfriend, to hold him tighter, before he finally pushed the dog animagus away because really, it was just too hot to be that close to anyone right now.
Sirius smirks slightly, dropping a kiss onto Remus' lips before prancing off to the kitchen. "I get the good stuff if I get there first Harry!"
"Nuh uh!" Harry shouts, running after the other man.
Remus watches them with a smile on his lips. He has so much love in him for these two men in his life that sometimes he feels as if he's ready to burst with it, it's so overwhelming. And sometimes he might want to struggle them both, since they can be rather irritating, but he wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
He walks into the kitchen to see Sirius cutting up watermelon and telling Harry that if he swallows any of the seeds, he'll be growing watermelons out of his bellybutton in about nine months.
And by the look of rapt fascination and determination on Harry's face, Remus can conclude that his godson is going to be very disappointed come Spring.
Damn it Sirius.
A/N: Not at all what I expected it to be, but oh well.