I always say that inside my heart, in my sinful nature. I know if that is kind of embarrassing for a girl like me to remember about a boy so much, especially in my teen age. I don't know why though, he is the one I always remembered when I am alone, when I am upset because of something, when I am abandoned, when I am defeated, when I am hurt… Nah… There is so much thing that caused me remembered him, every night, every morning, every afternoon.
Even when he is no longer here again in this world…
The sunset above the sky is very elegant, expressing its beauty when it will be no longer decorating the sky again, with its warm. It is kind of weird for me though, remembering the best time to see the beauty of the sun is when it set, not when it is still active in the noon. People always watched the beauty of something or someone, when they are no longer in this world, or when they are in the verge of their end.
As for me, it is not an exception.
I am standing on the grass field, just like a savanna in the other region. The velvety green carpet of grass below me seems very comfortable to be sat on. But I don't do it, because it is not polite to sit here. So I am just standing here, with brain full of the memory, of the good time. I closed my eyes as I thinking about that. Somehow, it made me wants to cry when I remembered this, but it also made me laugh. It is very surprising how these two activities could be done together. This is truly weird if someone sees me.
Ah, who cares? This is near the dewfall time. There is no any sign of human creature here. Even the Pokemon is not here either. It is kind of awkward too. I don't think that the Pokemons here are very calm. They usually will attack their intruder, who tree passed their own location. The Pokemons are indeed interesting. The absence of the Pokemon made me think that they have given me time to think. Time to be alone, time to recall my memory, time to… regret…
Ah. I should stop being paranoid.
The sunset always gives me warmth just like now, when I am alone here, watching at the stone. Or maybe the tablet… The sun's mesmerizing beauty of light is spread to all part of the grass field, spreading its warmth and happiness to all part of the creature here. Even the stone in front of me is also shaded by the red sunlight, and it lets me read the writing there clearly.
A stone? A funeral is a better call.
The writing there is a little crackly, and it is not so clear to be read, because of the impact from the rain, the strong sunlight, the hotness of the air, and so on. I knew from the first time that the stone won't last long, even when someone kept taking care of it. But I don't need to know the writing there, because I have already known it. Of course… I was one of people who is written there.
Oh. That does not mean that I have died, and I am a ghost who is seeking for revenge. This is really a funeral of someone who I loved most, more than my own soul and body and he is resting here. He has been here… for a year, resting his body here, watching the sunset everyday.
He is the one who always lifts me up when I am down, someone who always be by my side when I am alone, someone who always comforts me, someone who always tells me good story around his journey, and it is one interesting story you know. He has boyish charm around him. His smell and his aura are something that I like. Being around him is somehow… relaxing and comfortable.
But he is no longer here in this world again anymore. He is maybe there, far from the sky above, being a happy soul in heaven. Maybe he is watching me from the heaven, when I am here, everyday, when I have got time. Or maybe he is laughing at me because I am so lonely without him so much.
Ah. I should stop being paranoid. Ethan said that he did not like me when I am paranoid. He said that it made him feel uneasy. Since that time, I had vowed myself that I will always think and talk about optimistic think. Maybe it is short of bizarre for me, but since that time, I could get more friend, something that I always want to when I was young. When I told him that, he just grinned to me.
But he is no longer here, in this world.
It made me feel guilty so much, until I want to commit suicide if I remembered that maybe the cause of his death is me. His death is because of me. Maybe if I didn't do anything reckless, this thing won't happen to him.
I fixed my big white hat a little bit, then, I rearranged my brown pig tails which is in mess a little because it is blown by the calm breeze. It is not like me, or my pig tail, to be fragile and messy often. It is as if the wind around here did not do anything wrong. It is just my pig tail is weakened, because my brain is full of sad thing. Yeah, I knew that remembering him made me sad, because he is not here again, but I could not wipe him out from my memory again.
I remembered that he pushed me when I am recklessly attacked the legendary Pokemon in embedded tower. The Pokemon which is said to create the sea… I was very eager to see that Pokemon, but I did not want to go alone that time. So I asked Ethan to come along with me. Of course he was very glad when I offered him that. But that moment… my decision to take him with me… my recklessness and my carelessness… I'm still thinking that all I had done in my past was a failure and mistake.
I still remembered when the massive ocean Pokemon released its true power, much for our dismay. We did not have any chance to escape back then. I remembered when he saved my life when the Pokemon created a massive wave of water to me, to kill me. He grabbed my collar tight, and threw me to the outside part of the tower, letting himself to be hit by the wave. When everything was finally over, I could see him, lying on the floor of embedded tower, breathless.
It is not a good memory to be recalled. Even I don't know why I want to think about this memory again. If Ethan is here, maybe he will laugh at me and said that he is okay.
But he is no longer here.
I remembered that I cried when I knew that he was breathless, battered too. It was not a good scenery to be seen by me. It was painful to see it. His smile was still formed on his face as if he said that "I am okay".
But he was not.
I remembered too when I kept calling for his name, wondering if maybe he would be awake when he heard me. I hugged him with so much tears dropped from my eyes, and I could barely know that it soaked his face, trying to wake him up.
But he was not.
Ah. If I still remembered about this things… It is all my fault. I kept thinking what could I do. It's very impossible to wake him from his death. I am still a human being like after all. What I could do back then was just prayed, hoping that he would have a good life in his afterlife.
Now then, if I think about myself, I felt very lonely without his presence.
This place is his favorite where the sun shines brightly, rises and sets beautifully, and where the moon view could be taken from here with elegance. I remembered that he was very excited when he informed me about this. He could not stop grinning back then, just like a crazy man. But I could feel his warmth back then, even for now. Something that makes me comfortable, something that makes me happy and fresh…
I remembered back then before the accident. He always took me when it was time for the full moon. He always said that my face was the same with full moon. Full of grace… I just chuckled at his attitude. We all would end up making our body slept when we visited this place. We always kept staring at the beauty of the nature until dewfall, and the velvety green carpet of grass which is very comfortable, making me sleepy. Before I could even realize, I had fallen asleep with him.
Such a good memory.
That's why I recommended this place when his parents wondered of where should he buried in. This place was the first place which was popped up on my mind. I thought he wanted this too, to be buried in the place where he could see the grace of nature everyday. That's a very good choices I think.
The sunset almost reached its peak. The color of red which is emanated from the sun began slowly faded. The shadow on moon and stars could be seen, showing that the noon has been finished, continued by the night. I sniffled a little, recalling the memory I had with him. I took a glance, and I see a tulip flower. Very beautiful indeed.
Without any worries, I picked it up, and put it above my beloved friend's funeral.
I missed you…
I like this pairing a lot. It was quiet sad indeed when I wrote this story. So, pretty please?
Well. I knew I could do much better than this. But this is the best thing I could do for now.
I'm not a native speaker, and I am an amateur writer. Please review!