Title: Girl (Boy) friend
Author: pinch5
Summary: Kurt knows Puck would be happier with him.
Pairing: Rachel/Puck (shudder), Kurt/Puck
Disclaimer: Oh god, if only I owned, the show would be a porno.
A/N: It was stupid of me to go look at artwork from sevenswells. She did this to me. Blame her.

Kurt rolled his eyes as Rachel and Puck passed by him, hand in hand. He saw the slouch in Puck's stance and the pain of embarrassment scrawled across his face as he walked around school in a sweater vest. That Rachel Berry was pushing it. Puck was his friend and he wanted his friend to be happy (no matter what that happiness cost him) but Rachel trying to change Puck? Puck the stud? Was she insane?

Of course she was.

Kurt knew Puck would love him much more then he would love that girl. She was just an awful being; fuck her fabulous voice, without that (even with that) she was nothing. Kurt sighed, closed his locker and made his way towards the couple. He smiled warmly at Puck, who noticed him first but the warmness was wiped from his smile when Rachel turned to him.

"Puck, Rachel, good morning."

Rachel smiled at him (omigawd are her teeth gleaming. Wft), and hugged Puck's arm close to her "Good morning, Kurt! We are doing just great."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, he definitely did not just ask.

She closed her locker and handed her books to Puck who deflated with the extra weight before turning back to Kurt "And by the way, my boyfriend's name is Noah." She knocked into Kurt's shoulder as she walked away. Kurt stared at Puck shot him a sympathetic look before trailing after her.

Kurt stood pressed against the lockers for a moment or two before closing his mouth that had been hanging open.

"That bitch."

This meant war.


Kurt burned holes into Rachel's big ego inflated head the entire 5th period. Luckily the teacher had gotten sick of Rachel's inane giggles whenever Puck was near, so she had moved her across the room. Ripping a corner of paper from his note book, Kurt scribbled a question on the paper:

How's that sweater vest treatin' ya?

Kurt giggled behind his hand as Puck looked around the classroom wildly for whoever threw the paper before landing on him. Kurt waved and mimed opening the paper. Kurt watched as Puck rolled his eyes before writing something down and throwing the paper back.

I hate it! I feel like going hulk and ripping this shit off!

Kurt smiled at the frowny face Puck had drawn at the end of his sentence before writing a response:

Oooo sexy! How about I bring you your gym shirt so you can change during lunch?

Kurt threw the balled up paper at Puck, who was awaiting it. He smirked as he caught a tinge of blush crawling up the back of Puck's neck as he read the first sentence of the note.


Kurt blinked as the tiny paper hit him between the eyes, much to Puck's surprise.

That would be so great! You rock 3

Kurt let out a tiny coo at the heart Puck had drawn him. He was sure the Rachel didn't even get an 'I like you' from Puck. Kurt looked up from the note when he felt like someone was staring at him. To his joy, Rachel was looking back at him; her eyes snapping from him to Puck, a look of betrayal on her face. Kurt rested his chin against his palm, smiled and raised and eyebrow at her, causing her to glare at him.

Kurt smirked and let his intentions show all over his face.

Be afraid Berry, be very afraid.


Kurt walked into the lunch room and immediately spotted Puck, who was ignoring Rachel as she pointed as his Mohawk. Kurt fought the growl bubbling in his throat because you do notfuck with Mohawk, especially when it was his Puck's Mohawk. Kurt schooled his expression into one of superiority and indifference as he walked over to Rachel and Puck's table.

"Rachel, Mr. Shue said he wanted to run a new solo by you before Glee."

Rachel brightened up and stood quickly "Really? Noah, darling, I'll be right back!"

Kurt raised an eyebrow she sped out of there as if one of her hideous skirts were on fire. Kurt snickered and sat down as Puck let out a sigh of relief. He dug the folded gym shirt out of his bag and slid it across the table towards Puck. Puck went for the bottom of the shirt, looking as if he was going to take it off but stopped shooting a look at Kurt. Kurt smirked and leaned across the table to get closer.

Puck raised and eyebrow before bringing his hands to the collar of the sweater vest and tugging hard, ripping it down the middle. To make the situation even better while ripping the sweater vest Puck yelled out "HULK MAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"

Kurt tried his best not to ROFLMAO, but fuck, this was funny. Kurt died down from his laughter as Puck slid his shirt on and laughed along with him.

"So, this whore-cough- whole Rachel thing…how's it going?"

Puck scrunched up his face and Kurt huffed, stilling his head. He held his cheeks in his hands and looked him in the eyes, playfully glaring.

"How many times do I have to tell you, if you keep frowning you'll get those lines on your forehead and those are just terrible. I can't have you being ugly when we get together."

Kurt smiled as Puck shot him a wide eyed look as the blush spread all across his face stopping at the tip of his nose. Kurt couldn't help himself; he pulled Puck's face closer to him and kissed the tip of his nose.

Kurt heard a gasp from behind him and rolled his eyes before letting go of Puck's head, watching it drop to the table with a 'thud'

Kurt turned and leaned back on the table, pointedly looking away form Rachel "Oh, Rachel. I didn't see you there." He finished the statement with a dazzling smile.

Rachel looked lost and seemed to be stuck between rage, embarrassment and betrayal.

"What are you doing? With my boyfriend?"

Kurt pushed himself off the table and whipped his already perfect bangs to the side while looking up at the ceiling "Oh. Nothing much."

Kurt smirked when Rachel's jaw dropped to the floor in shock before walking past her, swinging his hips a little extra for Puck.

Take that, Berry.