Unimportant Author's Note: This is a rewrite of a story I posted four years ago titled "He Finally Realizes". The plot hasn't changed at all, but since I wrote the original when I was 13, I thought I'd rewrite it and try to do a better job. The original is in the compilation called "Nuts and Bolts" which is still on my profile, but I decided to post this version alone since when I wrote it again it turned out slightly longer than the original. There is a follow-up which I'll post soon (since I'm still writing it). Set around the events of Cybertron, but might not be totally accurate. Slighty crackfic-y... Enjoy!

Down came the Good Fairy, and she said...
"Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don't like to see you
Scooping up the fieldmice
And bopping them on the head.
I'll give you one more chance
And if you don't behave...
I'll turn you into a Goon!"

- Little Bunny Foo Foo

- Down Came The Good Fairy... -

Staring round at the offline Autobots and Decepticons, Optimus Prime scratched his head. Millions of years of warring and, suddenly, the two factions seemed to be at peace.

Red Alert and Hot Shot had fallen together, the medic lying strewn across the yellow mech's chassis. Thundercracker and Jetfire lay head-to-pede next to each other. Landmine - in his alt. mode - remained completely still, looking for all the world like a normal digger. Cyclonus had slumped down against the canyon wall, his helmet lolling down towards his chestplate... And so on. Strangest of all, Megatron had Starscream clutched tight to his chestplate, like a human child with a plush teddy.

Hesitantly, Optimus wandered over to the Decepticon leader and his second in command, shocked that the Seeker wasn't screaming and fighting tooth and claw against the touch of his commander. The Autobot kicked both Decepticons lightly with his pede, jumping back; ready for the ensuing fight. None came. Both mechs stayed soundly offline. The only sound was the rumble of air being ejected from intakes.

After almost an hour of trying to rouse his troops, the Prime sat down on a conveniently placed rock. He massaged the sides of his helmet with his fingertips (as he had often seen humans do), racking his processor for a reason for this sudden outbreak of stasis.


Optimus had been deliberating for almost two hours. He had still reached no conclusion, and when he'd tried to contact the base there had been no reply from anyone. Groaning, he stood again, walked over to Jetfire and kicked his second in command with a little more force than necessary.

"Jetfire!" he ordered, authority on every word. "Get up!"

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

Optimus placed his hands on his hips, and opened a comm to all Autobots within range.

"Autobots!" he ordered again. "Respond!"

Still nothing.

With yet another sigh, the Prime sat back down on his rock, cradling his head in his hands. A sudden loud pop! - as if someone had burst a balloon right next to his audio receptors - and a small flash of light on his peripheral vision made him look round.

A small, human-like thing hovered in the air, level with his optics. On its back there were two small wings that were fluttering like crazy. It had blonde hair, appeared to be wearing a dress made from flower petals and was holding a little glittery stick thing with a star on the end. It looked about four feet tall. The dress was pink.

"Hi!" it giggled.

Since no one had ever told Optimus that this was not normal, he assumed things like this happened to humans every day.

"Hello," he nodded to it politely. "What's you name?"

The human thing giggled again; "I'm the Good Fairy. I just finished dealing with that horrid Little Bunny Foo Foo... And now I'm here to see you!"

"... Little Bunny Foo Foo?" the 'Bot echoed.

"Oh, never mind about that," the Good Fairy dismissed, waving a hand at him. "The point is, your speeches on friendship and good and justice have really begun to get out of hand."

Optimus could only stare at the fairy, beginning to feel aprehensive.

"You see," the fairy continued, "whenever you give Megatron one of those long, boring lectures, you go on for so long that everyone starts to feel sleepy. That's what happened here. You talked for too long!"

Optimus looked around at the offline Transformers strewn around the floor. He had sent them all into stasis? Just by talking? That couldn't be true...

The Good Fairy cleared her throat quietly. "Ahem. Excuse me, Mister Prime? Could you pay attention, please?"

"Uh.. Sorry?" Optimus offerred uncertainly.

"That's perfectly all right," the fairy nooded graciously. "Now, we simply can't have everyone falling asleep all over the place... It's worse than Megatron's awful schemes..." She seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, then her face brightened into a smile. "I'm going to have to turn you into a Goon!"

The Autobot leader stood up quickly, taking a step back.

"Now wait a minute," he started. "Can't we talk about-"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," the Good Fairy interrupted, waving her sparkly stick.

There was a flash of light, and Optimus was struck by thousands of tiny, twinkling, colourful stars.

"What the-!" he shouted, but there was another, even brighter flash of light which made his optics sting.

The world had got bigger. The rock he had once sat on easily now loomed high over his head, almost blocking out the sky. Optimus looked around, quickly realizing that rather than the world growing, he had shrunk hugely. There was another pop! and the Good Fairy was standing next to him; he now only stood as high as her shoulder.

"Much better," she nodded, smiling to herself. And with another pop! and a twinkling of more tiny stars, she was gone.

Optimus stared around miserably. So now he was a tiny robot? What would he do if a Decepticon woke up before any of the Autobots? His misery only worsened when he tried to transform - thinking to get into a safe place of hiding as quickly as possible - and, as he threw himself forward, ready for the change to come and his wheels to hit the ground, he simply found himself landing face-first into the dirt. It hurt. In a different way to the pain he usually experienced, as small receptors on his body gave his processor damage reports. Now there were no lines of Cybertronian at the side of his vision, giving readings on his body's status... What had the Good Fairy done to him?

Picking himself up, he looked down at his body, and gave a cry of shock. In stead of metal plating, he seemed to be made of some kind of blue gooey substance, with red splotches... And no panels at all... And no legs! Gasping, he looked at his arms. They were short, and stubby, with three stubby fingers on the end. Feeling panic rising, the leader of the Autobots turned quickly at a squelchy noise off to his left. A brown blob was moving across the ground towards him. It was more or less an egg-like shape, with a flattened off bottom and short stubby arms.

"Hey there," it greeted with a wave. "Did the Good Fairy get you too?"

So that was what he looked like... "Yeah..." he answered weakly. "Who are you...?"

"Little Bunny Foo Foo," the brown thing replied. "Awful name, I know. You?"

"Optimus Prime..." Optimus replied. "So... what do we do?"

Little Bunny Foo Foo shrugged - or at least Optimus thought it was a shrug - "How about chasing some field mice?"

Author's Note: And the moral of the story is... Leader of the Autobots today, weird blobby blue/red thing tomorrow for giving long, boring speeches! ... Reviews please?