A/N: So….Addison stayed in Seattle, and the LA S3 stuff didn't happen, you'll see why =P
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?
Hide & Seek by Imogen Heep
"Hey" Addison breathed as she opened her hotel room to to Callie "Thanks for coming"
"Ice cream" Callie said handing her the tub she held in her hand "And spoons I stole from room service" they both dropped onto the bed and started to eat.
"So…." Callie started "Why are we in need of ice cream?"
"I'm pregnant" Addison said shoveling another mouthful in as Callie started to choke on hers.
"I've thrown up every day for the past week so I took a test, actually, I took four tests, and I'm pregnant" Addison sighed.
"And Karev is….the father right?"
"Of course it's Karev" Addison mumbled "I hadn't had sex in almost 2 months before I slept with Karev, and I haven't slept with anyone else since then, so yeah, it's Karev, I'm 6 weeks pregnant with Alex Karevs baby, congratulations to me" she said tearfully.
"Oh Addison it'll be ok" Callie said hugging her "You'll be ok"
"The man I'm in love with got me pregnant and he's in love with someone else, this is not ok Callie, this is a nightmare" Addison cried.
"You'll work it out Addie, you will, and I'm here, no matter what happens I'm here, I promise" Callie said squeezing her hand "What, what do you want to do?"
"I'm keeping it" Addison said quietly "I can't not, I just, I'm not getting any younger Cal, I'm almost 40, and what if, what if I never find anyone? No, no I'm keeping it, no doubt in my mind"
"Well, well you need to tell him" Callie said softly.
"I don't want anything from him, I won't say no if he wants to be involved but, I don't want anything, I don't need anything"
"Then you tell him that, you tell him you don't want or need anything from him, but you will let him be involved if he wants to be"
"Ok" Addison breathed "Ok I'll, tomorrow, I'll tell him tomorrow"
"I promise" Addison nodded.
"Alex, can we talk?" Addison asked quietly as she approached him in one of the hospital corridors.
"I'm actually a little busy…."
"Alex" Addison said cutting him off "This is important" she said dragging him into a supply closet.
"I'm pregnant" Addison blurted "Sorry I, I didn't mean to blurt but, I've been trying to build myself up to tell you all day and, I took a test yesterday, and I'm pregnant, and it's yours, it can't be anyone else's"
"Get an abortion" he said bluntly, no emotion on his face, Addison's hand instantly connected with his cheek.
"Y'know, I was going to tell you you could be involved if you wanted to be, but now, screw you, you'd be a shit father anyway" she spat before storming out of the closet, she ran straight to the nearest on-call room and broke down, her back against the door, her face buried in her knees.
"Addison?" she heard Mark croak from the top bunk, he dropped down and slid onto the floor in front of her "Addie what's wrong? Addison, what, what happened?"
"I, I, I can't, he, I, I don't, I, oh my, god" she sobbed, Mark slowly picked her up and sat down on the bed cradling her in his arms, she gripped onto the front of his shirt and sobbed into his body.
"Addie" he whispered rubbing her back softly "Addie please talk to me"
"I'm pregnant" she whispered.
"What?" he exclaimed which only made Addison cry harder "Oh Addie" he sighed "And I'm guessing Karev is the father right?"
"How did you….?" she sniffled.
"It doesn't matter how I know" he sighed "How long have you known?"
"Since yesterday" she said trying to wipe her tears away "And, and I want, I want to keep it, I am keeping it, because, I'm not getting any younger, and I don't, I don't want to be alone forever, and, and I just, I'm keeping it and, I just, I just told him" she sobbed "And, and he, and he…."
"Addison, what did he do?" Mark asked firmly.
"He said, all he could say was, get an abortion" she choked before sobbing against him again.
"That's all he said?"
"Yeah" she whispered, Mark suddenly slipped her off his lap and left the room, Addison quickly wiped her tears away and chased after him "Mark! Mark stop!" she shouted after him "Mark wait!" she shouted.
"Tyler, you seen Karev?" Mark asked Nurse Tyler loudly.
"He just went off for lunch"
"Mark wait!" Addison shouted catching up with him as he stormed towards the cafeteria, she grabbed his arm to try and slow him down "Mark please, please don't do anything stupid"
"Shut up Addison" Mark said firmly as he walked into the cafeteria.
"What's going on?" Callie said as she followed them in "Addie what happened?"
"Mark please" Addison begged.
"Karev!" Mark shouted as he neared his lunch table, he grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him to the floor.
"Mark!" Addison shouted "Don't"
Alex scrambled to his feet quickly, Mark's fist connected with his jaw "Mark!" Addison screeched.
"You are nothing but a disgusting little waste of space" Mark spat at Alex "How dare you say that to her?" he said incredulously "Look at her" he shouted pointing to Addison who was sobbing against Callie's shoulder "Look what you did! Nobody does that to my friend and gets away with it, grow the fuck up asshole" he said shoving him into a chair "If you ever, ever go near her again I will break every bone in your body" he gave him another shove before leading Addison quickly out of the room with Callie.
"Holy crap" Izzie gasped.
"Jeez Evil Spawn, what the hell did you do?" Cristina asked.
"Fuck" Alex groaned dropping his head to the table.
"No broken bones" Callie said as she examined Mark's x-rays "Just a little bruising"
"Ow fuck Addie" Mark hissed as she cleaned up his hand.
"I am so mad at you right now" Addison hissed back.
"Is someone going to tell me exactly what went on here?" Callie asked.
"I told Alex about the baby" Addison said simply.
"And all he could say was get an abortion" Mark said dryly.
"I'll kill him" Callie growled moving towards the door.
"Cal" Addison said grabbing her arm "Don't, I don't need you risking your career as well, you better pray to god Richard doesn't fire you for this"
"He won't fire me" Mark said rolling his eyes.
"He could!" Addison exclaimed "You assaulted a member of staff in front of the whole cafeteria Mark!"
"And I'd quite like to know why" the Chief said walking into the room.
"Yes, can someone explain why my resident is having his face stitched up?" Bailey asked following him in.
"He deserved it" Mark grumbled.
"What Mark meant was he's sorry" Addison said firmly.
"I'm not sorry!" Mark exclaimed "I will never be sorry, and y'know what, I'd hit him again if I had the chance"
"Mark!" Addison groaned "Stop trying to fight my battles, this is between me and him, not you and him, this has nothing to do with you"
"He told you to get an abortion Addison!" Mark shouted "He's an ass!"
"Which is why he will never ever get to see this baby Mark!" Addison shouted back.
"Wait? What?" the Chief and Bailey exclaimed.
"I might be 6 weeks pregnant with Alex Karevs baby" Addison mumbled.
"And he told her to get an abortion" Mark added.
"I think they know that by now Sloan" Callie whispered.
"I'll kill him" the Chief and Bailey both said heading for the door.
"Guys!" Addison shouted "Nobody will be killing anyone, we are going to forget about this day, this day, it doesn't exist, all I care about is this baby, nothing else, he is no longer apart of my life, this baby is all that matters, that is the end of the matter ok?" she asked "I said ok!" she snapped.
"Ok, ok" everyone mumbled.
"And hey" she smiled "Callie, Miranda, you're going to be Aunts, and Mark you're an Uncle, and Richard, this baby's going to call you Grandpa y'know" she said nudging him a little.
"Which is why I should be allowed to kill him" he mumbled hugging her "You're going to be a great Mom Addie"
"Thank you" Addison said softly.
5 months pregnant.
Addison lay quietly on a bed in an empty on-call room, her hands softly moving over her bump, she turned onto her side facing away from the wall and closed her eyes with a sigh, she opened them again as she heard someone climb onto the spare bed.
"Oh perfect" she muttered under her breath as her eyes met Alex Karev, he faced away from her and closed his eyes tightly, she suddenly took in a sharp breath, his head instantly turned to her.
"Are you ok?" he asked quietly.
"She likes to kick" she mumbled.
"She? It's a girl?"
"Yes" she said simply before closing her eyes again.
"Is everything, ok?"
"Karev, you don't have to do this, ask questions, you made it very clear how you felt on the matter, and you should've have got the message a long time ago that I don't want poison like you involved with my child" she said sitting up and slipping on her shoes "Back off"
"Well my poison is inside your child" Alex said dryly.
"Just leave me alone" she said walking towards the door, Alex instantly jumped up and stood in front of her.
"I have a right to know if she's ok" Alex said firmly.
"You have a right? You have a right?" Addison said with a laugh "You told me to get an abortion Alex! You have no right! You have no say! Now move!"
"I'm sorry ok!" Alex exclaimed "What I said was awful, horrible, I know that, I regretted it the second it left my lips! But you didn't even give me a chance to tell you that! You haven't given me any chances to prove myself to you Addison, if you don't want me to be involved, then fine, I deserve it, I know, but I still want to know things, I want to know she's ok"
"She's perfect" Addison whispered tearfully "Almost 11 inches long, kicks up a storm, healthy, strong heartbeat, makes me want to eat pickles at pretty much every time of day, she's perfect, I really have to go now"
Alex slipped down onto his knees in front of her.
"Alex, what are you doing?" she sighed, he slowly pushed up her shirt and placed his lips against her stomach.
"I am so sorry" he whispered against her skin "I'm so sorry for what I said to your Mommy, all of it, and I hope, I hope one day she lets me meet you, I know I'll probably be a let down, I'll probably be just like my father, but you have the most amazing Mom anyone could ever wish for, just know that I love you, I love you and I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, be safe baby girl, be good for your Mommy, she deserves the world" he kissed the skin one more time before shuffling out of the way of the door, Addison brushed down her shirt, she let out a heavy sigh and left the room.
"I love you" Alex whispered after her.
7 months pregnant.
"Ok, is it in the right place now?" Derek asked as himself and Mark moved the crib in the newly decorate nursery of Addison's house.
"Put it back in that corner" she said as she sat in the rocking chair.
"Now?" Mark asked hopefully.
"Hmm, I might call you back in before she gets here" Addison said with a laugh "Help me up" she said holding out her arms, Derek walked over and pulled her up "Thanks" she smiled "Come on, let's get you boys a drink, Uncle Derek and Uncle Mark have been working very hard for Mommy today baby girl" she smiled to her bump, Derek and Mark both let out soft laughs, they all moved to the kitchen, Addison poured them all some soda and they sat down at the table.
"I spoke to Alex" Addison said simply.
"What?" they both exclaimed loudly.
"2 months ago" she mumbled "He came into the on-call room I was in, unintentionally, and he kept asking questions about her so I yelled a little and, and then he, he, before I left, before he let me leave, he got on his knees, and he kissed my bump, and he kept saying how sorry he was and that he loved her and, and that he hopes one day I'll let him meet her"
"He doesn't deserve it Addie" Mark said with a sigh.
"He is really sorry" Derek mumbled.
"Who's side are you on here?" Mark exclaimed.
"Addison's, of course I'm on Addison's" Derek sighed "But I live with the guy Mark, he's a mess, I found him crying in the laundry room, I mean, he completely brushed it off like he wasn't but, he was"
"He was the one who screwed up" Mark muttered.
"I'm trying so hard to hate him" Addison whispered "I'm trying so so hard, but I can't, and it's not just because of the baby, it's not, it's him, it's what I feel for him, I just can't stop, I can't stop, loving him" she said shakily.
"Oh Addie" Derek sighed.
"I've tried, I've really tried, I make myself think about him saying get an abortion, I go over and over it in my head, but then I remember why I love him, and I have to start all over again"
"So what are you going to do?" Mark asked bluntly "Forgive him? Let him into her life?"
"I don't know Mark!" Addison exclaimed "I just don't know"
8 months pregnant.
"Alex um hi" Addison stuttered as she opened her front door.
"Look I, I can't stop, my shift starts soon but, I just, I wanted to give you this" he said gesturing to the large box in his arms "Um is there, anywhere I can put it?"
"Yeah, yeah come in" she said waddling through to the living room "Just put it on the coffee table"
Alex walked through and put the box down before walking back to the front door.
"So um" he stuttered "How, how are you?"
"I'm good" Addison nodded "A little tired but, good"
"And the baby?"
"She's perfect" Addison smiled rubbing her bump.
"Good, that's good" Alex nodded "Well I, I should go, bye" he said leaning forward and nervously kissing her cheek "Bye baby girl" he whispered kissing her bump softly, he nodded a little and made his way back to his car, Addison sighed and closed her front door, she walked into the living room and dropped herself onto the sofa in front of the box, she opened it and reached her hand in pulling out a letter from the top.
'Addison, I know this isn't much, and I know you've probably bought her all this amazing stuff but, I needed to do something, I know I've said it before, but I have to say it again, I am so sorry, more sorry than you'll ever know, I really do want to meet her, even if it's just the once, love Alex, x'
Addison sighed and reached into the box, she pulled out a white hooded bath towel with a pink edge, the hood had a bear face stitched into it, she dug further into the box and pulled out several different onesies, a small pink teddy bear, booties, a photo album, a 'Baby's First Year' photo frame, and the last thing in the box was a newborn sized white dress with pink spots on, pink tights and and pink cardigan.
'I know you've probably already picked an outfit for her to go home in but I thought this was cute, if you don't like any of it let me know' read the note attached to the dress, Addison clutched the dress to herself and let herself cry.
9 months pregnant.
"That's it Addie, just breathe" Mark said softly as he rubbed Addison's back "You're doing great"
"I can't do this" Addison panted "I can't, I can't be a Mom, have you met my Mom? I'll be exactly like her, I'll be horrible"
"No you won't" Mark said soothingly "You're going to be an amazing Mom, you already are"
"Ok, we're at 10 centimeters" Dr Rachel Adams Addison's OB said as she sat at the foot of the bed.
"No, no no, he's not supposed to be here" she said hitting Mark's chest "Callie's supposed to be here, where the hell is she?" Addison snapped.
"She's stuck in surgery Addison we've been through this" Mark said softly "I know I'm not the right person, I know that, but you have to start pushing now"
"Get, Alex" Addison panted.
"Get Alex" Addison growled "I don't give a damn whether you hate the guy or not, go and get him"
"NOW!" Addison yelled, Mark kissed her forehead and shot from the room.
"Addison, you really need to start pushing" Dr Adams said firmly.
"I know!" Addison snapped pushing hard, her hands gripping onto the edge of the bed.
"That's great Addison, when you're ready, I need one big push"
Addison screamed out as she pushed hard collapsing back against the bed panting heavily, Mark suddenly burst back through the door with Alex in tow.
"You" Addison growled to Alex "You did this to me, I hate you" she shouted throwing a pillow at him which he promptly caught "Now get your ass over here and help me" Alex nodded quickly and moved over to her, adjusting the pillow behind her "Mark, thank you but, get out" Addison groaned, as soon as Mark left Addison screamed loudly and pushed hard, her hands gripping onto Alex's shirt and the bed.
"Ok, we've got the head" Dr Adams smiled "You are doing so great Addison, one big push for the shoulders"
Addison took in a breath and pushed as hard as she could before releasing again.
"Addison you're going to need to push a little harder"
"You do it!" Addison screamed at her before she pushed again, she snatched Alex's hand and squeezed it as tight as she could.
"Good, that's good" Dr Adam's smiled as Addison continued to push, the baby slid out into Dr Adam's hands as Addison collapsed back against the bed.
"Well done Addison" she smiled "Does Daddy want to cut the cord?"
Alex nodded mutely and reached across to cut the cord, the sounds of cries were already filling the room, they whisked the baby away and cleaned her up, weighing her before wrapping her in a blanket and placing her against Addison's chest.
"7 pounds 6 ounces, 21 inches long, perfect health as far as I can tell" Dr Adams said softly "We'll leave you alone for a little while" she said leading the nurse out of the room.
"Oh my god" Addison whispered "She's perfect"
"Yeah" Alex whispered "She is"
"Oh my god" Addison said tearfully "She's actually here, she's, a real person, a real tiny crying person"
"She's beautiful" Alex said softly "I'm so sorry Addison" he said kissing her temple "I am so so sorry"
"I know" she nodded "Let's, let's not talk about that right now, oh baby girl I love you so much" she said kissing the babies forehead.
"Did you pick a name?"
"Charlotte" Addison said softly "Charlotte Elizabeth Montgomery-Karev"
"Karev?" Alex repeated "Really?"
"She should know where she came from" Addison said softly "Shouldn't you Lottie" she smiled "Yeah" she laughed as Charlotte gurgled "You should"
"Even if I'm gonna be a shit father?"
"Don't swear in front of her" Addison reprimanded "And you won't, you won't be that, you'll be good, I just, lashed out"
"You had every right too" Alex said quietly.
"Do you want to hold her?"
"I'd love too" Alex smiled, he slowly took Charlotte into his arms "Hey" he whispered "Hey Charlotte, I'm your Daddy, you are just perfect baby girl, so perfect, and I'm gonna try and be a good Dad, I'm gonna really try, and I really hope, I hope I can prove myself to your Mommy, because, because I love her Lottie, I really really love her, and I've screwed up time and time again because of my stupid guard that stops me from loving people, but I love her, and I really hope, I really hope she stops hating me"
"Alex" Addison whimpered, Alex moved and sat on the side of the bed, he slowly put Charlotte against Addison's chest, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together softly.
"I am so so sorry" he whispered against her lips "I am so sorry, I love you Addison, I love you and I got scared, I got scared and freaked out and said some horrible, horrible things, just please, don't hate me, please"
"I don't hate you, I love you you moron" Addison cried hitting his arm "I'm still mad at you, and I don't trust you, but, she needs a father, she needs a father and, y'know what, I need her father too, I need you, so we're going to take it slow, really slow, and you need to work really hard to get back in my good books, really really hard, and you'll probably need to work even harder to get into the first page of everyone else's, you are so lucky Richard didn't fire you"
"I know" Alex sighed "I'm so sorry" he said kissing her forehead.
"I know" she whispered.
"Guys" Dr Adams said walking in "You have a crowd of people out there waiting to meet her, why don't you take her out Alex and we'll get Addison cleaned up, you probably don't want visitors right now"
"No, I look like crap" Addison laughed "Alex, take her out, be Daddy"
"I'm sure" Addison smiled.
"Ok" he smiled, he slowly took Charlotte back in his arms "We'll be right back" he said kissing her softly, he slowly walked out of the room, he was faced with the Chief, Bailey, Mark, Derek, Callie, Izzie and Meredith.
"Guys" he said getting everyones attention "Meet Charlotte Elizabeth Montgomery-Karev, 7 pounds 6 ounces, 21 inches long, and she's got a nice set of lungs on her too" he said with a laugh.
"Oh my god" Callie whispered rushing over to him "Oh she's perfect, how's Addison?"
"Tired, she just wants to clean up a little before seeing anyone, but she's good, we're all good"
"Can I hold her?"
"Sure you can" Alex smiled passing her over "Look guys I just, I, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for everything I've said and done, I'm sorry, I screwed up, I really screwed up, and I'm, I'm trying to make things right, and I know it's not going to happen straight away but, I love them, both of them, and she's agreed to give me a chance, so I'm hoping, I'm hoping you'll all give me another chance too"
"You screw either of them over I will kill you" Bailey said firmly.
"Me too" Callie, Izzie and Meredith all said.
"They're like my family Karev, and I will accept you as part of that family if that's what Addison wants me to do" said the Chief "But if I find out you've treated either of them the way you treated Addison, you will not know what's hit you"
"Of course Chief" he nodded.
"Don't screw it up" Derek said simply "Always notice her, listen when she says somethings wrong, be there for her, be there for both of them"
"I'm not going anywhere" Alex said softly.
"I'll hit you 5 times as hard if you screw it up again" Mark said lowly "And I'm only doing this, trying, because of her, because of both of them"
"I know" Alex nodded "Thank you, all of you, I should, get her back" he said accepting Charlotte back from Callie "Bye" he whispered stepping back into Addison's hospital room "Hey" he smiled "How are you feeling?"
"Like I just pushed a 7 pound 6 ounces, 21 inches long baby out of a very small part of my body" Addison mumbled.
"Good then" Alex said with a laugh.
"Good then" Addison smirked.
"Well, I'm gonna leave you guys to it" Dr Adams smiled "You know the drill, congratulations"
"Thank you Rachel" Addison said softly.
"My pleasure" she smiled before leaving.
"So…." Alex breathed "She's a big hit out there" he said passing Charlotte back to her.
"Well look at her, she's gorgeous" Addison said with a laugh.
"She is" Alex said kissing her temple.
"Hop up" Addison said patting the bed, Alex slowly climbed up onto the bed, his arm coming around Addison's shoulders, his fingers brushing against the front of Charlottes blanket "I love you" he whispered pressing his lips against her hair.
"I love you too" she said leaning into him "Thank you"
"The box of stuff you gave me last month, it was all so perfect, I've got the dress with me"
"You have? I wasn't sure, I'm not even good at buying clothes for myself let alone newborn baby girls" he said with a laugh.
"Well, you did good, for a first timer" she teased.
"Hey, you might be a baby doctor but you're a first timer too" he said nudging her.
"I know" she whispered glancing down at Charlotte "I'm scared"
"You've got nothing to be scared about" he said kissing her softly "You're going to be great, we're going to be great, we will"
"Stop it" she said firmly.
"Stop what?" he asked with a laugh.
"Saying perfect things" she mumbled "You're making it too easy to forgive you, I want to be annoyed at you for a little longer"
"I'll just shut up then huh?" he smirked.
"Yes please" she yawned.
"Get some sleep Addie" Alex whispered "Just close your eyes"
"But the baby might need feeding and…."
"And she'll cry if she's hungry, just close your eyes for a little while" he said moving the baby to his chest, Addison snuggled against his side and closed her eyes, and before she knew it she was fast asleep, they didn't have everything sorted, and it was bound to be a tough ride ahead of them, but they'd do it, they'd get over it, because the only thing that mattered was the beautiful baby girl who would be their lives forever.
~x~ ~x~ ~x~
A/N: I cried writing the on-call room scene. I think it probably had more to do with the fact that it was 3 in the morning and I couldn't sleep but still….
I could've gone on forever with this but I like the more open ending, I don't think it needs anything else.
Reviews much appreciated, xx