Fandom: Transformers Bayverse
Author: Femme4jack on Livejournal (femme4prime on ff . net)
Pairing: Sam Witwicky/Bumblebee
Rating: PG-13
Codes: Slash, Crack, Xeno (human/mech), Implied BDSM (if you squint)
Summary: After nearly two decades on Earth, Bumblebee finds out that subspace isn't true a stasis space.
Notes: Written in the Point of View fanverse and used for the Dathanna de Gray fanverse
Takes place 19 years after Bee arrives on earth.

In Which Bee Cleans Out His Subspace Pocket

Bumblebee was more than slightly embarrassed when Ratchet discovered that he had not cleaned out his subspace pocket since arriving on Earth...19 years ago. It wasn't the time factor that was so problematic. It was the mess. Having a human who in his younger years had constantly left things in his glove compartment, trunk, and back seat had led to...issues with his pocket. It was the smell that finally gave things away, as he brought out his close combat energon dagger for Ratchet to check. Who knew that food could rot in subspace, though it took much longer?

So,after the obligatory dent to his helmet to appease the medbay gods, Bumblebee found himself sitting in an empty hanger, doing inventory. He remembered when Judy had cleaned out her attic and was constantly in tears over whatever she found. He had been bemused by it all, but at this moment, he could identify with her at some level. He separated the contents into piles.

The first was food, at least what was still recognizable as food. That which was no longer recognizable or packaged was already in a tightly covered bin for later disposal.

- 12 Twinkies (having been hidden in subspace from Ratchet)

- 5 small cans of Red Bull (same)

- A bag of Hershey's dark chocolate kisses from when Sam was still with Mikaela.

- 112 Packages of flavored Nori (seaweed), provided to Sam over the years by Ratchet after confiscating other food items

The next pile contained items he thought he should give to Judy to put in her attic to be cried over at a later date

- Sam's Phi Beta Kappa pin

- A Student of the Month award from Sam's senior year in high school

- An essay with a bright red A on the front Sam had written in college on the ethics of genetic manipulation (if Judy only knew how Sam's genetic code now read)

- A very worn teddy bear (Perhaps he should ask Sam about this one, he thought. His socket might wish to keep it for himself)

- Sam's Eagle Scout medal (He wondered if anyone had ever guessed how Sam had finished the project so quickly?)

Then there was the pile of things to show Sam, either for a laugh or simply to reminisce

- A set of handcuffs

- some silk rope

- An Ironman glass from Burger King

- A postcard photo of the North Cascades Scenic Hwy

- A postcard photo of Cancun

- A set of antique glasses that had eventually been returned to Sam, and put in the glove compartment for safe keeping.

Bee sensed the human's approach even as he dug around and removed the last few items, placing them in the third pile

- A small bottle of human personal lubricant

- The church bulletin from Ronald Witiwicki's memorial service

- a now lifeless shard from the first Allspark

As he placed these items carefully in the third pile, he felt the comfort of the familiar, beloved energy and watched as Sam sorted through the third pile, picking up the bottle. He turned to Bumblebee with a cheeky grin.

"You know, something I've always wondered. Exactly how long did you have this in your pocket before you got it out for the first time?"

Bumblebee warbled and then answered with a song that made Sam groan.
The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.

"God, Bee. Stop it already," said Sam, throwing the bottle at him, snorting when he saw Bee subspace it, yet again.