I always thought that true art was something that would last through the raptures of time; something eternal, beautiful, forever lasting; never to fade into evanescence or disappear for centuries after initial creation.
"Hm, danna, don't stop…"
Fine art is something amazing, left long into the future, never to be forgotten by those who see it. Eternal beauty; something I longed for when I first developed an interest in my art.
To give up my humanity for eternal beauty seemed an equivalent exchange to me at the time; I didn't care about the losses because half of them were nuisances. The other half, I hadn't experienced. My gain seemed greater than what I was losing.
"Oh, un, danna…"
If you really think about it, most of the losses are beneficial; not having to deal with the embarrassment of tears, the drawbacks of false hope, feeling the sting of insults. The physical sensations of pain no longer having to be a problem in this eternity; the scorching heat and biting cold without effect on my eternally preserved body.
"Please, Sasori, stop teasing."
And, the beauty never faded; no having to deal with the mundane physical problems every adolescent face. Acne, weight gain, stretch marks; no worrying about wrinkles from age or tired bags from little sleep. It seemed like such a promising deal.
That is, until I met Deidara. The stupid brat… He reawakened feelings inside me… needs long buried.
"Ah! … S-Sasori!"
He would ask me about things that could be considered the negatives of giving up humanity; he asked me if I missed the taste of foods, the sensation of the wind against my skin, the warmth of an embrace. Every time he asked, I'd say, "It's ignorant to believe that immortal beauty can be received without consequences."
"Sasori," he panted, sweat beading and running down his face. "Ah!"
But, the more the blue eyed bomber asked, the more I craved for those long forgotten desires. He enticed emotions that had never risen from me before, emotions I thought that were lost with my humanity. Even now, as I sat beside him on the bed located in our shared room at base, pleasuring him with my slender hands, I found it hard to believe that this loud, abrasive brat could entice these hidden feelings.
"Ugh," he moaned, his hips pushing up into my hand, which was fondling the most vulnerable part of his body. The expressions that flitted across his face as he desperately tried to control himself intrigued my interests; need was the most prominent of them but, beneath that, the haze of adoration drifted in like a sudden fog.
I hesitated in my movements; this was the first time we'd done this. I didn't know what I was supposed to do next. Deidara sensed my hesitation.
"What is it, danna?" he panted, still rubbing against my hand.
"What do you want me to do next?" I asked, letting my other hand drift over his chest, toying with his pert nipples. Deidara gasped, trying to control himself once more but the sensations made speech difficult for him.
"Uh… Whatever you think…Hm, you should," he struggled. I looked down at my hand, toying with his member, in thought. I don't think I would ever understand the pleasure I was causing him for I never experienced it myself and doubted I'd ever find the means to experience it; just watching those expressions made me feel a warmth in my flesh core.
I wondered what would intensify his pleasure; I had a basic sense of what to do but again, it was completely a new experience. I shifted just a bit, my fingers moving from his chest up to his mouth, prodding his lower lip. Through his haze of bliss, his eyes looked down into my wide, blank ones.
"Suck," I commanded, forceful. His pleasure always seemed to increase the more demanding I would become; either way, he obeyed, coating my fingers in saliva.
Commonsense guided me through my actions, as I moved down the bed, placing my fingers at his entrance. As soon as I prodded his opening, he started moving uncomfortably.
"Stop squirming, brat," I ordered. "You're going to hurt yourself!"
"I can't help it," he panted. I shook my head.
"What will I do with you?" I sighed. "Perhaps restraining you will help." At that word, a cable slithered out of the compartment in my stomach, wrapping around a surprised, yet horny, Deidara. Was being restrained turning him on even more?
Pushing those thoughts aside, I stuck one finger inside, watching his expression carefully, ready to pull away at the first sign of pain. Discomfort passed through his eyes but that's supposed to happen, the way I know it. As soon as the discomfort passed, the pleasure of the hand still fondling him again taking over his features, I added anouther finger.
"Without a dick, this is the most I can offer you," I stated, pumping my fingers in and out of him. His eyes rolled back into his head; I knew that he wasn't going to last much longer. In his last few moments of ecstasy drive, my cable pulled away and I dipped my head, letting my hair ghost over his thighs.
"SASORI!" my name ripped from his throat in a loud moan as I sat up, his white seed hitting me in the chest, splattering across the cylinder holding my flesh core. Deidara's head fell back against the pillow, panting.
"That was amazing," he breathed, exhausted. I looked at the white cum with slight distaste, reaching over the blonde for a tissue to prevent the man's liquid from leaking into my joints. He grinned at me while I wiped the sticky liquid off my chest.
"Hey, danna, what suddenly made you agree to do this with me?" he asked. I looked at him emotionlessly.
"I don't know. You've been making me want things that are impossible for me to achieve in this form," I answered, lying down beside him. His skin glistened with sweat, his wheat coloured hair sticking to his moist forehead.
"So, you mean that all those times you told me you couldn't feel things like emotions and pleasure, you were lying," he challenged. I glared at him, listening to his still thundering heart.
"I wouldn't go that far, brat; I still can't feel pleasure, this was merely an experiment. But, I can admit that I still have some… er, emotional needs," I hesitated, unsure of how to explain it. Deidara's eyes met my maroon eyes, shock and hurt clouding the cerulean orbs.
"So, I was just something to be used and tossed away for just this one time?" he asked, his heart beat picking up.
"I never said that; I said this was an experiment. I haven't expressed how it affected me." Deidara's breath caught.
"You… how were you affected?"
"I… It wasn't unpleasant; if you want, we can do this again. But, if we do continue this, I suggest that it be a secret, so that the others don't see it as a weakness."
"So… you do want to do this again?" I could tell he was holding his breath with hope.
"Only if you want to," I responded carefully. Deidara was like one of his clay bombs, only one of emotions; the wrong word could set him off into an angst driven rage. I watched him smile up at me, his eyes sparkling.
Without a response, I leaned down, brushing my inexperienced lips against his. I couldn't feel what I was doing but Deidara did his best to lead me through the clumsy kiss, his tongue reaching in between my lips and feeling around the dry cavern of my mouth.
I tried my best to act out a response; he knew that I couldn't feel anything. I'd warned him multiple times, telling him that he'd get frustrated with someone who couldn't respond to him physically, who couldn't feel his actions. Still, he relentlessly chased my affections, like the stubborn little kid he was.
Even now, as I kissed him, it was difficult to believe myself in this situation. The blonde brat, who's tongue was pressing against the side of my mouth right now and who's hand was clutching a fistful of my hair, had awaken feelings inside my flesh core.
Eternal beauty is the only thing I know as art; flesh is too temporary to hold any true beauty. It lives, it rots, and that's the end of that. Evening in its living form, it isn't appealing; it leaks and smells, it can blister and burn. But tonight surprised me in what it revealed; all those negative traits in human flesh didn't matter. All that mattered was Deidara.
My attention wasn't on the way his skin was leaking but, on how that sweat glistened and shined against the source of light in the room. I didn't care about the blood that had pooled in his cheeks but about the meaning behind that, the pleasure that had caused the flush of red sweep over his cheeks. And, what was most prominent, was the emotions that flew through his eyes with every action I decided to do.
It was his eyes that captivated the most attention. Deidara couldn't hide anything with those eyes; his thoughts were written in those cerulean orbs. Nothing was a secret with eyes like those.
My heart beat faster; I felt… warm.
I rethought humanity; even though most of it wasn't enjoyable, you had to suffer for happiness. I wasn't human long enough to learn that important information.
Even though I believed art was truly a forever lasting artifact, I couldn't help but create the exception to my own belief. I knew that, even after Deidara was dead and rotting, this experience would be burned into my memory for the longest time. An everlasting moment in my mind.
Maybe that's what true art really is; not only eternal beauty but an eternal moment; something to be thought of many times more than just when it's happening. A moment that's remembered for an eternity; truly, this memory will stay in my mind and, because my body will attest the bounds of time, so will the moment remembered.
As I rested my head on the blonde's chest, I realized that in half a century, Deidara would be dead. More likely sooner because of his involvement with Akatsuki and his obsession with his 'temporary art'; I wouldn't recover from the blonde's influence on me though. No matter how much I may deny it, knowing the bomber has changed me.
I just didn't know if it was for the better or, if it was for the negative.
Deidara, what have you done?
Written by Lucian ~
My first lemon one shot. Kind of hard, with Sasori being such 'an emotionless jerk' as my sister calls it but, I think it's satisfactory. Right?
Does it really count as Yaoi if Sasori doesn't have male genitalia? Oh well.