"And just like that, the liquid is gone!" The Sham-Wow guy shouted as he held up the nasty sheet that absorbed the liquid on the table. "It's just that easy, to quote that one guy! And look, no drips or any other shit!" He shook the cloth, and some drips did come out of it. "FU-"

The commercial cut to a new shot with him holding a different colored product. "Not only does this absorb every day liquids, but it can absorb: Motor oil! Puke! Hobo urine! Hooker blood!" With each different product, the commercial showed the respective thing being absorbed, even the dead hooker blood. "So order one today, and-"

Just then, Iron Man crashed in through the roof and blasted the commercial dude away. "I am Iron Man, and this product SUCKS!" He said, pointing to a spot on his suit. "I spilled beer here the other day, tried to sop it up with this...IT FAILED!" He blasted him again as he was trying to get up. "But that's why I'm here." Iron Man's mask lifted as he turned to the camera. "Hi, I'm Tony Stark, and I'm here to sell you the oxygen power of OXY CLEAN!" He held up the tub of white stuff and smiled.

The ghost of Billy Mays appeared behind him and nodded happily, then disappeared.