"Would you look at that sweet ass?" my coworker and best friend, Alice, whispered to me as she sipped from her mug, keeping her eyes trained on the person across the room. It was Monday morning and she and I were currently in the break room (like we were every morning around this time) indulging in the bliss known as instant coffee––god bless caffeine––before the work day began. It was our morning routine and also something I enjoyed immensely. Not because of the coffee though. I mean, don't get me wrong; I worshipped coffee like the addicting pick me up it was, but there was something even better than the instant brown gold. Something more addicting, which was the reason I continued this routine every morning.
You see, my boss, Edward Cullen also has a morning routine. He comes in each morning, clad in one of his many beautifully fitting suits to enjoy a cup of morning delight like dear Alice and I. But unlike me and Ali, he takes his coffee into his office to drink. Where's the fun in that if we're in here and he's in there? Right, there is none.
So Alice (sweet, sweet, brilliant Alice) had an idea. It's not a secret that our boss doesn't enjoy sharing coffee with the rest of the office, considering there's a jar beside the office coffee labeled: Edward's coffee. Do not touch, or risk being fired. I get where he's coming from though. I mean, the office coffee goes so fast because everyone always drinks it up and the kind we have is so cheep which makes no sense because its not like we can't spring for something more expensive like Edward does. His coffee tastes great. I would know because it's the kind I buy for my house. And if I can buy that kind of coffee on my own, why can't the office buy it? Maybe I should start bringing my own coffee too.
But, um, I digress.
What was I saying before? Oh yeah, Alice's brilliance.
Edward usually keeps his coffee next to the offices jar on the second shelf for, you know, easy access; he can grab the coffee, put it in a mug with some hot water, add his sugar and whatnot and be gone… off to his office. But like I said before, where's the fun in that? Alice figured we should find some way to prolong his stay in the break room every morning. A longer stay for Edward means more eye candy for Bella. Oh, and Alice too.
So, back to Alice's plan. Edward is a fairly tall guy. Around six foot two I would guess, but even him in all his tall godliness has to stretch when it comes to the sixth shelf in the coffee cabinet. Since Ali and I got here every morning before him, we took it upon ourselves to move his coffee to the top shelf before he came in.
He used to go insane every morning when he would come in and his coffee would be on the top shelf again. At first he thought it was because someone else was drinking it but there was never any missing. After a while of him putting it back on the second shelf and having it on the top one when he came back for it, he just gave up on getting upset about it. So now, whenever he came in, he didn't even glance at the second shelf; he just went straight for the top one. Sure it sucked having to climb a chair every morning in heels to put it up there, considering the fact that I can barely walk five inches in them without risking injury, but the benefits were so good.
So good, indeed, I thought as I watched Edward reach toward the top shelf in search for his coffee. His suit jacket was riding up, exposing his ass. And what a mighty fine ass it was… which was definitely something Alice shouldn't be thinking. "Alice," I whispered, "I don't think Jasper, your fiancé, would appreciate you ogling another mans ass. Don't you think so?" I asked as Edward finally got his coffee down and started fixing his mug.
She at least had the decency to look ashamed. "Well it isn't like I'm planning on trying out the merchandise; I'm just…admiring." Alice tilted her head a bit to the left, obviously having no intention of quitting her admiration of the goods anytime soon. "At least I can admit that I'm admiring him, unlike a certain best friend of mine who's been crushing on our boss since we started this job," she said, watching me watch Edward.
I scoffed. "Ali, you are so––" Right. She's so right. "––wrong. I have not been crushing on him since I started this job." Yeah, my traitor mind said, you've been crushing on him since the day you came for your interview… an entire year ago.
Sigh. It sucked to admit it, but my brain was right. Alice and I had started this job last year at her insistence that I apply at Cullen & McCarty Advertisements. She thought I would be really good at getting people to buy things and making catchy slogans.
Why? I have no idea but she thought I would be a shoe in at this because I had impeccable creativity (her words, not mine.) I didn't argue because Alice always seemed to know what she was talking about (creepy sixth sense and all.) So I'd applied and gotten an interview to my surprise. Apparently the people at C&M agreed with Alice. I had convinced her to apply with me and her quirky attitude had convinced our supervisors that she could convince any future clients to sign with us.
I'd fallen in like with Edward Cullen that day. He'd walked into my interview to give Joe McCarty, his uncle, some files on a client.
"I have to say, Miss Swan, your resume is very impressive. You are by far a very good candidate for this job; and charming too, might I add." I blushed scarlet. "Thank you so much, Mister McCarty. I'd be really happy if I got this job."
"Please, call me Joe." My response was cut off by someone walking in without knocking. "Uncle, I have those files on–– Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had someone in here." I was met with the most melodic voice known to man and turned around to be met with the most handsome panty-dropping face I'd ever seen in my twenty-four years. "Its fine, Edward," Joe said. "I was just interviewing this nice young lady for the sales position. Miss Swan, this is my nephew Edward. He's head of the department you're applying for."
Edward smiled crookedly and stretched his hand out to me. "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Swan. I look forward to possibly having you on my team." What a beautiful smile.
"Um, okay," was my brilliant response. Could you blame me for being a little incoherent? The man was scrumptious for Christ's sake. "Okay then," he said. Another panty-soaking smile. He handed his uncle the files and started towards the door. "Bye bye, now, Miss Swan."
"Bye Studward." I slapped my hand over my mouth as his eyes widened a bit in amusement. Mental face palm. I was mortified but Edward just laughed. "I appreciate the nickname," he said and walked out the door.
Needless to say, I tried my best not to open my mouth when I was around him now, save for meetings when it was necessary. Not that I went out of my way to avoid him or anything.
Edward had finished fixing his coffee during my flashback and was now walking towards the door. The door I was standing next to. Crap. I quickly put my mug down on the counter and opened the nearest cabinet, sticking my head into it. "Oh well, I guess there aren't any English muffins in here after all." Okay, so I went out of my way to avoid him a little. Big deal…
A pale hand shot in front of my face, grabbing a package and pulling it out. "Is this what you're looking for?" Edward. Shit.
I pulled my head out of the cabinet and slowly turned to face him. He wiggled the package in his hands to catch my attention. "Is this what you needed?" he asked again. I reached for it. "Thanks…" I set the muffins down on the counter and cast my glance down, waiting for him to leave and spare me from anymore embarrassment. Meanwhile, Alice was standing beside me giggling her little pixie head off.
"By the way," Why wasn't he leaving? "I really like your idea for the new campaign. It's very catchy."
"Thanks Edward." Hopefully the quick thank you would get rid of him.
He smirked. "I think I like Studward better." That stupid, smug, sexy bastard walked out of the room laughing, just like he had a year ago. I felt my cheeks and my neck and ears and possibly my entire body turn red. Alice burst out laughing as soon as he was gone like this was the funniest thing in the world, which to someone other than me it probably was. But I so didn't find any humor in the situation. I shot Alice a look to show her how un-funny I thought this was, but she kept right on laughing. Great friend she was.
She finally stopped laughing minutes later, only to tease me about what had just happened. "You do realize that if you had just let him walk by and pretend you didn't notice him, this would've never happened, right?"
"Shut up, Alice." I hated her for being so damned right all the time. Damn Alice. Damn English muffins. Damn Edward and his sweet ass, and most of all damn my freaking dysfunctional filter!
New story, developed from writers block. Lemme know what you guys thought and whether or not I should continue. The second chapter should be up soon.
Readers of A Lesson in the Making, I'm not abandoning the story, but I am taking some time off to finish outlining.
Reviews are love!