Southern Eraklyon Squirrel Revival
Note: It's that time again on Winx Writer's Anonymous to do our themed one shots and this time it's seasonal. So if you read something from someone in the northern hemisphere you'll get a summer story, but if you read something from someone down in Australia you'll get a winter story. I think.
Summary: Inspired by the song Mississippi Squirrel Revival and set way back before the group met so it's AU and you've been warned. Brandon is an eight year old boy. It's summertime so it's time for little Brandon to head to the southern part of Eraklyon to visit his Memaw at her small estate in the middle of nowhere. Luckily Brandon can amuse himself in the woods. But what happens when he catches a squirrel and decides to unveil it at his Memaw's dinner party? Since I'm writing this most likely insanity and someone going head first into the chocolate soufflé.
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue. The skunks have a college, they call it P.U.
Brandon bounced around in the back of his family's hover minivan. His parents were taking him down to his mother's family's estate (1) in the southern province to stay with his Memaw (2) for the entire summer. Brandon was so excited he could hardly contain himself. Yes his Memaw was a bit strict and had a tendency to hold stuffy dinner parties while he was there. But Brandon still loved her and loved being able to explore the land surrounding the estate.
Two weeks after Brandon had arrived his Memaw was already planning her first dinner party to open up the summer season so she and her housekeepers had shooed Brandon from the house. It didn't bother the boy in the least because it gave him more free time to explore the woods. He'd found some decent climbing trees by the creek at the edge of his memaw's property and immediately started climbing one barefoot the moment he reached them.
Twenty minutes and numerous scrapes and cuts later Brandon had climbed the highest he had ever climbed in his whole eight years. He was about to turn around and see how far it would be to jump when he spied a bushy grey squirrel just inches above his nose. Without a second thought to the potential he had to break a wrist or dislocate a shoulder, Brandon quickly reached up with his left hand and grabbed the squirrel near the scruff of its neck then quickly made his way back to the estate stopping only to rush into the garden shed and find an old hat box to stuff his new pet in.
"Brandon, dear, what do you have in that box?" Brandon's Memaw asked as the brunette boy walked into the prep kitchen where she and one of the cooks she'd hired for the week's dinner party were going over the menu.
"Just some fossils I found out in the woods." Brandon lied as the squirrel began to scratch at its encasement.
"Well take them upstairs into your room please." His Memaw ordered kindly. "The party's tomorrow and I have some guests who are on holiday from Eterna coming."
"Okay Memaw." Brandon said starting to rush up the servant stairs to his room.
"I hear they've a son around your age, maybe you two can entertain each other during the grown ups' time hmm?"
Brandon stifled a groan, usually the children of his memaw's friends were stuffy and boring and enjoyed stupid things like stamp collecting and physics. "Yes Memaw." He replied dutifully wondering if he could at least scare the other boy with his new pet.
The day of the dinner party Brandon tried to help dust and polish in the dining room but after he'd broken two of his memaw's good china dishes, he was sent back to his room where he was told to pick out good clothes. Brandon did that, right after he punched a few more holes in the top of the hat box where the squirrel had been cloistered.
"Brandon, our guests are arriving, come down here please." Brandon's Memaw called from the landing before going into the foyer to welcome her dinner guests.
Brandon shrugged himself into the button down shirt his memaw had insisted he wear and then dashing down the stairs while doing the buttons. He made it just in time to see the first three guests entering the foyer. Brandon guessed that they were the parents and the boy whom his memaw had told him about- especially since the boy looked exactly like his dad with navy blue hair and grey eyes.
"See Alex, we told you there'd be someone for you to play with." The mother, a woman with jet black hair and smoke blue eyes told the boy while giving him a shove forward. Then she looked at Memaw.
"I can't believe how big he's gotten Melisande. Alexander was so worried he'd be bored away from his brothers this summer." Alex's mother sighed. "They're at camp, but Alex is a bit too young for that."
Alex made a face at his mother's too young comment which led Brandon to believe that he was the baby of the family.
"We can discuss it more over dinner." Brandon's Memaw suggested as more guests started to arrive. "Brandon, why don't you show Alex those things you found upstairs in your room? I'll have one of the maids come up when it's time for dinner."
"Yes memaw," Brandon replied trying not to sound like he was up to something, "C'mon Alex."
The navy haired boy followed with a skeptical look on his face. "This'd better be good." He stated as Brandon opened the door to his room.
"Oh, it is." Brandon stated with a grin on his face. "I caught a squirrel in the woods yesterday."
"Cool, how?" Alex asked sounding impressed.
"Just grabbed him. He was in the tree I was climbin'."
Brandon reached behind the pile of dirty clothes that his memaw's upstairs maid hadn't picked up yet and pulled out the shoebox to show Alex. "He's in here."
Alex took the box and Brandon carefully pulled the lid off so they could both get a better look. The squirrel sensing that he had a chance of freedom after a day and a half trapped in an old hatbox made a mad dash out of his confinement and out the door which Brandon had forgotten to close. Not knowing what else to do, the two boys also took off in hot pursuit of the squirrel.
"Man he can sure run fast!" Alex exclaimed as he and Brandon tried unsuccessfully to corner the squirrel by one of the bathrooms.
"Yeah an' he's about to run down the stairs!" Brandon stated in a nervous tone. "An' if he gets to the living room where Memaw's guests are sitting, we're toast."
"You mean you're toast." Alex corrected. "I'm not the one who brought the squirrel into the house in the first place."
Noticing Brandon's worried face Alex quickly added. "But I'll still help you. It's not every day I get to chase a squirrel around a mansion."
"I just hope we can keep him from running around the entire mansion." Brandon groaned as the squirrel made a break for the main staircase heading towards the first floor where all the guests were seated.
"We may as well try our best." Alex said leaping on to the banister and sliding down. "Follow me!"
When the boys reached the bottom of the stairs they spied the squirrel on the threshold of Brandon's Memaw's formal dining room. Brandon was about to tip toe towards the squirrel when his Memaw spotted him.
"Oh good, I was just about to send Mitzi upstairs for you." She said smiling, "But I guess you two smelled the food."
Alex hid his face, he'd smelled the food alright, he also hoped Brandon's Memaw was smart enough to fire that cook after tonight because it smelt like someone had made a skunk and sauerkraut casserole in the kitchen.
"Er yeah we did." Alex admitted, then seeing the squirrel about to make a guest appearance. "But we have to go wash up now." Without waiting for Brandon to say or do anything, Alex grabbed him and dragged him back to sitting room.
"What was that all about? Now we're never gonna catch that thing!" Brandon lamented "
"Yes we will, how do we get into the dining room from the kitchen?"
Meanwhile Brandon's Memaw and all her guests had seated themselves around the dining room table and were getting ready to eat. Sir Pescado, one of Memaw's oldest neighbors and friends was serving himself from the bowl of roasted potatoes, when the squirrel, mistaking his leg for a tree limb climbed up his trouser leg and into his boxer shorts.
"Oh my!" Screeched Sir Pescado (3) as he leaped from the table and began dancing around like he had fire ants in his pants.
"Pierre (4)! What's wrong?" Brandon's Memaw asked watching in shock as her friend began doing a jig around the room.
"I haven't the faintest! Whew! Oh my! Idea!" Sir Pescado gasped and shrieked and wiggled as the squirrel made laps inside his underwear. It felt like he had a weed eater or something stuck in there
"I think we're too late." Brandon whispered as he and Alex watched the spectacle of Sir Pescado's dancing take place in his Memaw's dining room.
"Yeah, but check out the show." Alex whispered back with a giggle as the squirrel, possibly getting nauseous from Sir Pescado's abundant cologne escaped unnoticed from the across the room and down the back of Lady Tremain's (5) cocktail dress. Poor Sir Pescado fainted in relief on Brandon's Memaw's new carpet.
While Sir Pescado's wife checked on him and Memaw fanned herself with a napkin from the stress some new drama erupted at the other end of the table.
Lady Tremain jumped out of his seat the same way Sir Pescado did and did a crazy dance. But then instead of screaming and shrieking the usually stuffy Lady Tremain began to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.
"I never did take those canned goods to the homeless; I kept them in my pantry!" Lady Tremain confessed sadly. "I'm also making my gardeners work overtime for no pay and have been making my step daughter work as a scullery maid! I am so ashamed of myself now!"
"There, there Mathilde." One of the other ladies at the table tried to soothe the woman, but Lady Tremain wouldn't hear of it. Instead she began to gossip about a few neighbors.
"Come on, let's crawl under the table and see if we can catch it that way." Brandon suggested. Alex nodded and both boys began to combat crawl under the long table upsetting a few more adults in the process.
After Lady Tremain had exposed the town's mayor for embezzling money from his wife's fashion house and how a certain Memaw used to work as a burlesque dancer the squirrel soon grew tired and jumped down her garter belt causing it to loosen and her stockings to fall around her ankles looking for another place to escape.
As everyone was trying to absorb or text what Lady Tremain had revealed the squirrel took off in a sprint right into Alex's waiting hands.
"Gotcha!" The navy haired boy declared loudly causing his father to peek under the table and spot the two boys trying to stuff the squirrel into Brandon's sock.
"What do we have here?" Alex's father asked as the two boys began to crawl backwards from under the table.
"Brandon, what is the meaning of this Melisande demanded of her grandson as he and Alex emerged from under the table. The sock with the squirrel in it was bouncing around in Brandon's left hand and his right foot was bare.
Brandon searched for a way to answer his Memaw's question. While doing so he surveyed the damage which he, Alex and the fluffy grey squirrel of destruction had caused. Lady Wittmore, whose property bordered his Memaw's, was face down in her cheese soufflé. Sir Pescado was still passed out on the floor and Lady Tremain was sobbing into her linen napkin.
"What do you have to say for yourself young man?" Melisande asked her arms folded across her ample chest.
"I'm sorry; I didn't know it would be this bad."
"This bad?" Repeated the woman who had tried to calm Lady Tremain repeated incredulously. "My dear boy, this was the dinner party to end all dinner parties."
Melisande shuddered at the potential loss in social status and Brandon shuddered at the thought of being grounded until the next ice age.
"I agree, I haven't had this much fun in ages." Laughed Lady Wittmore's husband as he picked his wife up out of her food. "Although I must say I'm grateful it wasn't a skunk."
"Just, don't do it again." Alex's dad admonished. "Either of you."
Melisande sighed. "Well I guess it wasn't a total catastrophe. Although what will I do about Mathilde's confessions?"
Alex's mother smiled. "Well, I was a Cloud Tower girl back in the day. My specialty was telepathy, so I'll just do a quick spell and boom, no one will remember a thing."
"But what about the guests who sent text messages?" Alex's dad asked.
"She can do what any politician's wife would do and deny it."
So the decision was made that Alex's mom could do a memory erasing spell on the guests. It worked so Brandon was only grounded for a week instead of until the next ice age. Sir Pescado had to go into therapy since he had inexplicably developed a fear of large rodents. Lady Tremain's illicit gossip at Memaw's party was hot and she had some trouble leaving her estate, but only until the King and Queen of Solaria began taking over talk shows displaying their own dirty laundry And as for the squirrel, well he gained some notoriety of his own back in the woods. Although very few of his friends believed his tale.
Okay it wasn't my best work ever, but it wasn't bad. Special dedication to Rogue Scholar because we were discussing our round robin and the pink squirrel of doom when I got this idea. I hope the middle was better than the end.
1.) It just sounds fancier than a farm even though basically what it is. Besides Brandon's a squire so he has to have some noble blood and be somewhat wealthy right? Well if not it's still working that way because it's AU
2.) Just an affectionate term for grandma. I don't use it, but one of the guys on my country radio station does.
3.) Spanish for fish
4.) French form of Peter
5.) Sometimes I can't think of a good last name so I have to steal one, this was the last name of the step mother from Disney's Cinderella