"Where the hell...?"
Kakuzu looked around the room he was in. It was dark and the only light source was various black candles spread along the wall. He looked down and found he was standing in an all-too-familiar diagram.
"You're awake... Kakuzu?" A boy sat by the only door, the Jashinist pendent visible as Kakuzu approached.
"What happened? Is this hell?" He looked around, clearly confused. He felt alive enough.
"Hell? I suppose. You are alive." The blonde boy shrugged, his eyes were unseen behind his glasses.
"Alive? How? I know I lost my last heart!"
"Calm down, big guy. We have to go pick up Hidan." The boy stood and dusted off his blood-red cloak. "My name is Suki and I was sent by Jashin-sama to take you to a new land where you two can live happily ever after. Now follow me."
"Do I have any other option?" Kakuzu sighed.
'iIt's too dark... Kuzu./i'
Hidan was still buried and he was cursing himself for being so careless. Something in his gut -where ever it may be in this grave- told him Kakuzu had lost. No one would come for him and he would begin to fade. He already felt ill. He had been trapped for too long. He sighed and closed his dull eyes, ready to give in. He was awoken moments later by the sound of a shovel digging into the soil inches from his head.
"Fucking hell man! What's with making me do all the fucking work!" Hidan recognized that voice though he could not place a name.
"Because you're younger than me." That was Kakuzu! Hidan could recognize that voice anywhere.
"K-Kuzu!" He tried to cry out but it only came out as a hoarse whisper.
"This is the third hole you made me dig! If the bastard isn't here I'm so sacrificing your ass to Jashin!" the whiny voice was louder. "This thing is really fucking deep too!"
"Deal with it. He really is in here. Those other holes were practice." Hidan could not help but laugh.
"You basta- Do you hear laughing?"
There was a thump as though someone had landed on top of the soil. Finally the earth was removed, revealing Hidan's emaciated head. Kakuzu stood above him, handing the shovel back to a boy. He knelt down and picked Hidan up by the hair.
"Ow... bastard..." Hidan choked, he felt too weak to protest more.
"Dee-yamn. Never thought I'd see ya in such shape, Hidan-sensei!" The blonde giggled.
"Do I... know you?" Hidan's head had been pressed to Kakuzu's chest.
"Gah? How could you be so cruel, man?" Suki whined.
"'Sensei'?" Kakuzu inquired.
"Hidan-sensei is the one that converted me to the ways of Jashin-sama!" Suki exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Huh. You'd think he'd remember the only one that actually converted." This earned a weak bite from Hidan. "Oi!" Kakuzu dropped the head. "Wait here and we'll get the rest of you."
"iWe/i?" Suki mocked, "You mean you're actually willing to work, you lazy ass?"
"How would you like to join Hidan there on the ground?" Kakuzu threatened, picking up an extra shovel.
After most of Hidan's body was found, Kakuzu started to sew him back together. As he did, he fed him plenty of nutrients so he was able to form complete sentences since leaving the grave. All the limbs were attached save the most important (In Kakuzu's opinion) one.
"Suki... look for a um..." Kakuzu flushed while Hidan scowled, glaring south.
"Go find my Jashin damned cock!" Hidan huffed to Kakuzu. "And I'll sew it on myself."
"No. It will fall off if you try to sew it on." Kakuzu argued, "I'll do it for you."
"Ha! I knew you were a perverted old man." Hidan smirked now.
"I am not perverted." he scowled playfully, "Unless you are involved."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He flushed.
"Found it! At first I thought it was a fuckin' worm though!" Suki laughed climbing out of the hole with the missing limb in hand
"Bastard!" Hidan snapped.
"I think it's cute." Kakuzu said, absentmindedly.
"You've been acting strange. What the fuck happened while I was underground?"
"Kakuzu just really li- OUCH!" Suki was silenced when Kakuzu cut off his head.
"Let's get this thing back on." He sighed, turning back to Hidan.
Hidan stopped complaining after half an hour, finally allowing Kakuzu to finish his job. Suki had been sent off to find clothes for the naked man and returned just as Kakuzu was helping Hidan to his feet. He offered Hidan the same kind of cloak the other two were wearing. Once Hidan did some small exercises he tried to move on his own. He was still a little wobbly, much to Kakuzu's concern.
"He should be fine with some rest and food. However we gotta leave before those damn deer return with reinforcements." Suki commented while Kakuzu steadied Hidan once more.
"Deer?" Hidan inquired.
"On our way here, we ran into a herd." Kakuzu answered.
"Boy were they happy to see us!" Suki exclaimed sarcastically.
Hidan shrugged and followed Suki through the forest, refusing to let Kakuzu support him the entire way. As they neared the edge, the inevitable happened and there stood Shikamaru. However he did not yet notice them. Kakuzu and Suki pulled Hidan into a tree, restraining him from exacting revenge. Kakuzu kept his hand clamped over his mouth, his chin resting on the gray locks as he waited for the kid to leave. Once he moved on, Hidan was carried out of the forest, his mouth shown shut.
Kakuzu set him down when they were far enough away but did not undo the stitches. Suki found this highly amusing but soon joined him when the laughter became too much for Kakuzu. The duo was left to follow Suki since they had no idea where to go and they had questions. Suki stopped them at a small village's bed and breakfast. He slid over to the counter, leaning in to gaze up at the woman stationed there. He whispered something in her ear and lifted his glasses.
"You got a place for us to stay, hun?" His voice was smooth and seductive.
"Sure. Upstairs, last door of the hallway." She giggled.
"See ya tonight, babe." Suki slid back off the desk and back to the confused companions.
"Still a slut." Hidan scoffed once they made it to their room with two separate bedrooms.
"No, I'm not. We'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning." Suki huffed, marching to his own room, closing the door with a slam. "And bolt the door!" He shouted, "We're leaving the second you two finish."
"Finish what?" The two replied.
"Oh." They flushed when they realized their minds had been in the same gutter.
Kakuzu and Hidan went to their bedroom and found (surprise, surprise) a single bed.
"You go ahead and have the bed tonight." Kakuzu murmured.
"We can share, dumbass." Hidan sighed, laying one the bed with his hands behind his head.
"Do you want anything to eat?" Kakuzu asked suddenly.
"Seriously?" He sat up in bed, looking at him as though a stranger.
"Is there a problem?" Kakuzu growled.
"I hate you."
It was a knee-jerk reaction and Kakuzu could not help but regret it. He remembered what had all happened before they 'died'. His eyes were trained on Hidan and he sat on the bed besides him. The smaller rose a brow but made room, eying his partner. Partner... they were no longer partners in crime. What type of partnership did they have now that they had been abandoned by the Akatsuki?
"Kakuzu, do you know how the others are?" Hidan spoke softly and opened his cloak to reveal his ashen skin which clung to his bones.
"I heard, whilst traveling with Suki, that Deidara blew himself up trying to kill Itachi's little brother after he killed Orochimaru." Kakuzu answered.
"That twerp killed the snake bastard?" Hidan laughed. Kakuzu winced when it turned to a cough.
"Want anything to drink?" He placed a hand on the frail chest.
"Fuck... sure." Hidan took a ragged breath and closed his eyes.
Kakuzu got off the bed after he made sure the other was still breathing. He went into the main room, grabbed a cup, then filled it with tap water. On his way back, he saw Suki's door ajar. He swallowed his curiosity and set the cup of water near Hidan. He shook the other awake, worried he might crumble to dust as he had in that dream so many nights ago. He shuddered at the memory and magenta eyes showed from behind parted lids. Kakuzu grabbed the cup and offered it to Hidan, watching his neck as he swallowed.
He gulped when the cup was pulled away, leaving a drop of water to slide. His eye twitched and he snapped his gaze away. He removed the kerchief that had been tied around his mouth then ruffled his hair that had been exposed for the entire journey. Now it was Hidan's turn to ogle. If he did not know better, he would think the man was stripping just to tease him. The cloak hit the floor to reveal Kakuzu had been wearing a white sleeveless and black boxer shorts.
He returned to the bed and slept with his back to Hidan. The latter fell into a restless sleep shortly after, also with his back to his partner. That night, they shared the same dream. Hidan stood under a tree waiting. Kakuzu appeared moments later and both, thinking it was their own dream, embraced the other. They parted and Hidan sat first, beckoning Kakuzu to join him on the ground. They sat together, under the beech tree.
"You two appear to be quite content." They recognized this voice. Their heads snapped up and saw Jashin perched in the branches above. "Have you told him the truth?"
"No." They said simultaneously. This surprised them both and they looked at each other.
"That is disappointing." The god frowned.
"Jashin-sama, why are you okay with this heathen?" Hidan asked as he nuzzled closer to said heathen.
"He cares for you and makes you happy."
"Tch, he doesn't give two shits about me. This is my dream-Kuzu." Hidan pouted.
"I do too give two shits about you!" Kakuzu protested, not registering the second part about a dream.
"My sons, Suki will be guiding you home. You have nowhere else to go; the Akatsuki have abandoned Hidan and are using Kakuzu's corpse." Jashin informed the pair. "All you have left is myself, my followers, and each other."
"Again, I say, not what I expect from a death god." Kakuzu scoffed.
"Watch yourself, heathen." Jashin and Hidan snapped.
Kakuzu awoke with a jolt, sitting up in the bed. He looked around the dark room then let his gaze travel to his still-sleeping companion. He sighed softly then flopped back down, his back away from the other once more. The only difference was that their backs were pressed together.
Suki woke them up early in the morning, too early for Hidan's liking. He complained until Kakuzu promptly told him; 'Shut the fuck up, it's too early for your shit.' He was far worse off in the mornings than Hidan but at least he got out of bed when needed. Finally Kakuzu managed to drag Hidan from the bed, by his hair, and out their bedroom door. He threw on his cloak then met Suki at the window, flinging his gray-haired 'crush' over his shoulder. They jumped to the ground then took off towards the sea. They would be traveling by boat to a secluded island. Suki refused to tell them what lay in wait for them though.
Hidan and Kakuzu had to share a hammock while Suki took the other hammock provided in their cabin. Currently, the blonde Jashinist was on deck, leaving the pair alone. Hidan lay back in one net while Kakuzu sat in the other, rocking back in forth. After he had been 'resurrected', as Suki had put it, he had not seen even a glimpse of precious money. Hidan, meanwhile, had another Jashinist with him to preach to and read scriptures with, both Jashinists forcing Kakuzu to listen to their 'sessions'.
"Damnit Kakuzu, quit that. You're making me nervous." Hidan finally snapped, sitting up.
"N-No m-money." Kakuzu whimpered, earning a piteous sigh from the religious man.
"Money isn't everything, bastard." He huffed.
"The world runs on money, Hidan! Money means everything to me! Especially now that I have no one." He snapped back.
"What did you just fucking say?" Hidan snarled, glaring him down.
"You heard me; I have nothing left."
"What about me then?" Kakuzu gave a jolt at that and opened his mouth, only to close it as Hidan stood. "You had me, Kuzu. I've always stayed by your side. Even your fucking money hasn't stayed with you as long as I have! I'm still here."
"Hidan, I didn't-"
"Whatever. I'm gonna find Suki and vent with him. See ya later, bastard."
"Shit..." Kakuzu sighed before following after his hotheaded companion.
He followed Hidan to the railing and wondered if the other was planning to dive in. He had been so caught up in his thoughts with Hidan that he did not notice Suki looking down on them from the upper level. Kakuzu sighed to himself as Hidan started to climb the rail. He wrapped his tan arms around Hidan midsection, which was starting to regain its former glory, and held him back.
"Did you know I can't swim in the ocean?" Kakuzu huffed, pulling Hidan down and close to his heart. "I only have one heart and it isn't a water nature."
"Who says I want you to follow me, bastard?" Hidan pouted but let himself be pulled closer.
"Doesn't matter if you want me to save you or not." Kakuzu smirked.
"Why bother? I'm immortal, dumbass." Hidan snorted.
"That's not what Jashin told me before you were buried alive and starved." Kakuzu spoke quietly now, his grip tightening.
"You spoke with Jashin!" His magenta eyes widened but he was unable to turn around.
"Mn... I didn't think it was real at first but after awhile I thought, 'Why the hell not, I love the bastard anyway.'" Kakuzu buried his face in the gray hair.
"You love someone?" Hidan's heart skipped a beat. It clenched when he considered it might not be him.
"Obviously, moron." Kakuzu scoffed.
"Who?" Hidan managed to look over his shoulder.
"Guess." Kakuzu whispered, placing his lips to Hidan's.
Feel free to ask questions or to ask for an epilogue of sorts!