Okay, so I know I had this story before, but it really sucked, so I'm re-writing it. And it's better this time :P I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. Just so there's no confusion, all three POVs start at different times, and in different places (for now - they will all come together soon). Enjoy :)

Victoria POV

As I came into the clearing, I realized that I was right. He was with her. My instincts told me to run, that it was dangerous to be here, but something held me back. It was her. I wanted her, but more, I wanted to feel Edward's pain as I killed the love of his life, just like he did to me.

Edward's voice caught me off guard as he tried to persuade Riley not to attack. Riley looked uncertain, he was sure that I loved him. Unfortunately for him, he was wrong. I had never loved him. He can't know that, though, or my plan will fall apart.

"Riley, don't listen to him. You know I love you and only you. I told you they play mind games."

Riley appeared to believe me, the idiot that he was, and he was about to attack when a dark shape took him out from behind.

The huge wolf attacked Riley as I tried to get to Bella. I paused with surprise when I saw the werewolf's tail brush against Edward's back. Vampires and werewolves are sworn enemies; would the wolf turn on him?

"No, he won't turn on me," Edward answered my thoughts. "We're allied now. You've provided us with a common enemy."

Well, that sucks. Now, get out of my head, you stupid vampire. Wait, I'm a vampire too. Crap. Stupid mind reader. I wonder what else he's seen in my head.

"Stuff I didn't want to," he muttered.

I could hear Riley calling for my help, but I ignored him. I was only interested in Bella.

Dammit! The wolf killed that useless, good-for-nothing twerp. Maybe I should have helped him. Oh well, at least now I don't have to get rid of him myself. One less chore for me to do.

Uh oh. Two against one. My instincts were telling me to run, but my legs wouldn't cooperate. Instead, I backed slowly toward the forest.

I was about to turn and flee when I heard Edward'[s voice telling be that I'd never get another chance this good to get what I wanted. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. My prize was Bella, and I wanted her more than anything.

My decision was final. It could be my only chance to get my revenge. I felt like I was getting close to what I wanted when Edward jumped onto my unprotected back.

I tried to fight back, but it was too late. Edward's teeth had sunk into my neck, and I could feel a sharp pain being inflicted upon my body.

I heard something crack just then. Ow! Was that my neck. I couldn't be sure, but the ground was getting closer.

I couldn't see anything as my red hair blew into my face. After a moment, I could see again. I saw the sky, then the ground, then the sky again . . . What's happening to me?

Hey, is that my body up there on the mountain? Ooh, that shirt made me look sexy, but I think those pants made my butt look too big. Wait a minute . . . I can see my body . . . why am I not dead?

Is it just me, or is it getting hot? Duh, it must be me. Holy crap, it's getting really hot. Oh well, at least the guys will like me in heaven. I wonder where all the fluffy white clouds are?

What's with those flames. Heaven doesn't have flames. And why does that guy have a pitchfork? And. . . is that James? Okay, this is definitely not heaven.

"James!" I cried. "Over here!"

"Victoria?" he asked, with what I assumed was disbelief. "Fancy meeting you here. What happened to you?"

"It's a long story," I said, not wanting to get into it.

"Victoria, we're in the Underworld, for crying out loud. We've got time."

He was right. I hate it when he's right.

"Well, I was in Seattle," I started, then I felt a sudden pain. The weird part was that I could feel the pain in my body, but my body wasn't attached to my head. I think Edward was burning my body. "Ow, my leg! Ow, my arm! Ow, my other leg! Ow, my other arm!" I cried as I felt each piece of my body being burned.

"Victoria! What the hell is wrong with you? No pun intended."

"I think my body is being burned," I explained.

"What? That's crazy!" he exclaimed. Then, my singed body parts started to fall on his head. This was getting weirder and weirder.

When my entire body was there, I asked him, "Now that my body is here, would you mind putting me back together?"

Naturally, he agreed. He worked in silence for a while, so it startled me when he asked, "Is this your butt or your boob?"

"If anyone should know, it would be you," I shot back.

He thought about that, then answered, "It's been a while."

"Yeah, well, if a fart comes out of my chest, I'm blaming you."

He laughed and finished putting me together. When he was done, I looked into the river that we'd been sitting near to see my reflection. "Something doesn't look right."

James laughed and said, "I'm sure everything's fine. Now, can you finish your story?"

Since we had all the time in the world, I finished the story, leaving out the parts about what I had done with/told Riley. When I was done, I said, "James, could you put me back together?"

"You are together."

"Yeah, but you made a few mistakes. Could you put me together the right way?"

James POV

I couldn't believe it. How had I ended up here? Not that I didn't belong, but I just couldn't get my head around the whole concept. All I had done was go hunting – is that so bad? Apparently so, cause if it wasn't, I wouldn't be here. And to make it worse, I was all alone.

Well, Laurent had shown up about half a year ago, but he was just too annoying, so I took care of him pretty quickly. Who knew you could kill a dead person? I wonder where he is now. Not that I really care, as long as it isn't here.

I was standing around, bored as usual, when something caught my attention. It was flaming red, like everything else in this place, but it was a different red. A familiar red. It looked like Victoria's hair, but that was impossible.

"James! Over here!" a voice called.

Funny. It sounded like Victoria, too. I looked in the general direction that the voice had come from, and I saw my mate. Well, rather, my mate's head. I couldn't believe it. Well, really, who would?

"Victoria? Fancy meeting you here. What happened to you?"

"It's a long story," she said. She was missing something really obvious.

"Victoria, we're in the Underworld, for crying out loud. We've got time."

I knew I was right, and I knew that she knew that. She decided to tell me.

"Well, I was in Seattle," she started. Then, she went crazy. "Ow, my leg! Ow, my arm! Ow, my other leg! Ow, my other arm!"

"Victoria! What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked. Then, as an afterthought, I added, "No pun intended."

"I think my body is being burned," she explained.

"What? That's crazy!" I exclaimed. I was about to say more when her body parts started to shower down on me. I don't know why I didn't just move out of the way. I guess I was too dumbfounded.

When her whole body was there, she asked, "Now that my body is here, would you mind putting me back together?"

Of course, I agreed, and I began to work in silence. It wasn't that I didn't have anything to say, I just needed to concentrate.

After a while, I picked up something that I couldn't identify. I decided to ask Victoria about it. After all, it was her body.

"Is this your butt or your boob?" I asked.

That seemed to tick her off, and I couldn't blame her. It wasn't my fault that I didn't know.

"If anyone should know, it would be you."

Jeez, touchy. She was right, though. She would have been able to put me back together, no problem. Then again, I didn't have boobs.

"It's been a while."

She appeared to be a little flustered, but she answered, "Yeah, well, if a fart comes out my chest, I'm blaming you."

I laughed and finished putting her together. When I was done, she looked into the nearby river to study her reflection. "Something doesn't look right."

"I'm sure everything's fine. Now, can you finish your story?" I asked.

She finished the story, and when she was done, she said, "James, could you put me back together now?"

I was confused. "You are together."

"Yeah, but you made a few mistakes. Could you put me together the right way?"

Six months earlier.

Laurent POV

I couldn't believe it. I was running as fast as I could, and those werewolves were catching up to me. I closed my eyes as they gained on me, and I felt them snap my neck.

Well, I guess I should be floating up to heaven any time now. I mean, not that I've ever really died before, but I think that's what happens. Wait a minute. Why am I sinking? Heaven is up. I guess I'm not going to heaven. That sucks.

Hey, it's James! "Hi, James!" I said excitedly.

"Hi," he said, not glancing up from what he was doing.

"Watcha doing? Can I help? How'd you get here? I thought-"

He cut me off. "Shut up! You were annoying back on Earth. Now that we're here, it's even worse."

"But, I-"

"Shut the hell up!" he roared.

"Okay, okay," I agreed, but I was kinda ticked off. So, I said, "You know, I saw Victoria with another guy. I guess she forgot all about you."

He snarled and jumped toward me in fury. I felt him jump on my back and everything went black. Not again!

When I woke up, it was too bright. Actually, I was surprised that I woke up at all, considering the fact that I had been killed twice in a day. Only possible for a vampire.

I could hear strange noises, and the smell of the place burned my nose. I opened my eyes when something wet dropped onto my face. I wiped it off and looked up to see a white creature with a horn in the middle of its head looking down at me.

Where the hell was I?

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