Two and a Half Doctors

A Time, Space, and Chips Universe
Independent Story


Eccleston: 33 seconds of departure and arrival in "Rose"
: Time, Space, and Chips continuum
: Post Big Bang


Eccleston: None
Tennant: Rose Tyler, Phea Tyler
Smith: Rory, Amy, River

Rating: PG-13 (some swearing)

Notes: Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my little scribblings. Please review if it strikes you.

Nemesis: A big bug... Nasty thing.

Thirty Minutes Ago...

(Relatively speaking)

"What is it with these apes, that they 'ave to cling?" The Doctor asked aloud, rubbing his shot cropped hair. He was agitated, annoyed, and upset over Mickey holding Rose back. "She's the one with the unrealized potential. She's the one..." Oh face it Theta, you liked the pretty girl, he thought to himself, frowning.

A bleeping diverted his attention, which was followed by the Cloister Bell tolling. He looked over the controls, slightly confused, before dragging the monitor around so he could see what the problem was. "Tha's not supposed to 'appen."

The Metacrisis Doctor was at the console with a little girl on his shoulders. He was busy with something at the keyboard, while the girl rested her head on her hands... with her elbows on his head. "You know dear, your elbows are rather pointy," he said.

The girl looked alarmed and instantly sat up straight, then paused before leaning down to kiss his head. "Sorry daddy."

A rather disheveled and bed weary Rose stumbled into the room, wearing one of the Meta's striped shirts, a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers, and what was distinctly a bed-head. "Blimey. Don't you two ever sleep?"

They both replied at the same time, with a "Not tired, mummy," over a "She wouldn't go to sleep, so I figured school was in session." This made Rose smirk. She walked over to them sleepily to kiss him on the cheek and give the girl a tickle to a bare foot. She noticed quite clearly that her husband's eyes had rather dark circles under them.

"Ohhh ho ho, you do get tired," Rose mused. "Right, c'mere Phea," she pulled the girl off his shoulders and held her over her hip. "Give daddy a kiss, and it's lights out." This made Phea whine, but she did as she was asked before she was carried out of the room squirming.

"Oh that's extremely very not good," the Doctor whispered. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked over his shoulder at Amy and Rory coming out of the TARDIS, then back to the sight that confused him. It was the TARDIS before she rebuilt herself.

While staring at it, he saw a very familiar man step out looking very much the U-Boat captain that he was once accused of. The Doctor did an immediate about face, and made shooing motions towards Amy and Rory, then River as she was coming out. "No, no! Back inside! Right now! Very bad things! Timelines crossed, very bad. Back inside, hush!"

While the three of them were staring at him like he just said fezzes were cool again, the other Doctor was striding towards them all. He looked, for all intents and purposes, just as worried and pensive as Mr. Bow Tie. "The 'ells goin' on 'ere?"

River looked the other Doctor over with a more than appraising eye. "Ohhh myyy."

Bow-Tie Doctor pointed at River and said, "You. Inside. Now. Paradox." This made River blanch a bit before ducking back inside the TARDIS. To Amy and Rory, he said, "Mr. and Mrs., you're about to meet a couple of my previous selves... So to speak. Don't panic." He smiled wide and whispered, "This is about to be fantastic!"

"Oi! I'm talkin' ta you!" the leather clad Doctor grabbed hold of tweed's shoulder and spun him around.

Bow-Tie was smiling. "Yes, yes! Lots of questions. Questions about time, space, and the universe in general." This made Leather rear his head back. "I know what your thinking. Thinking this is impossible; Thinking some bloke with a bow tie and a bad hair cut is somehow responsible for some very bad things; And... Thinking that something... oh right," he paused just enough to rear his own head back and yell "Contact!" right before giving dressed for leather a head butt.

Amy and Rory stood with their mouths hanging open, while the leather clad Doctor reeled backwards with "You can't be here! You know I was coming here!"

Bow-Tie smirked while rubbing his forehead. "Did you check the chronometer before exiting? No, you didn't. Now stop the chin wagging and listen."

Amy, Rory, and the two Doctors looked around while they heard the tell tale sound of a TARDIS materializing. Three of them turned to look where Bow-Tie was watching and stared where a grey box was coming into existence. "The sound's off. Pitch is too high," the ninth Doctor commented, making the eleventh nod with a grin. "She's not our TARDIS, mate. That one's the daughter of ours."

Leather Doctor blanched with a "What?" while the materializing thud resonated. They all watched as this new TARDIS began morphing into different objects. It was comical with it changing from a forties style car, to a wooden shack, a rather elaborate pipe organ, then settled on a police box. Well, sort of anyway. It looked like one, but as if you were seeing it in a mirror. Even the lettering was backwards.

Amy snickered. "What's wrong with it?"

Bow Tie answered with a simple, "She's an infant. Doesn't know how to operate the chameleon circuit yet. Hold on. There's one more."

The young TARDIS then looked like it was being seen through an elaborate prism. "That's him helping her with it," Bow Tie explained as the prism faded into a proper police box. There was a slight flashing on the door as the circular logo faded in and out of existence for a bit before settling into place, like she was deciding which one to imitate. Leather laughed outright with "Fantastic!"

The door to the new TARDIS opened, and a beakish bloke stuck his head out with his mouth hanging open. "It's now? This is happening now? No Wayyyy!"

A voice from behind him sparked off. "What's now? What's the matter John?" Then a yellow and pink woman peaked out from around him.

The leather clad Doctor gaped at her. "Rose?"

Rose let out a squeal and bum rushed the leather Doctor, throwing her arms around him. "It's you!"

Bow Tie and Stripes stared at them with bemused smiles. "Hello again," stripes said to Bow Tie, who threw his arms around him in a bear hug.

"Congratulations!" bow tie shouted as he clapped stripes back. "Good to see you again brother."

Leather snapped his head to the two of them, as Rose let go of him. "Brother? What?"

Bow Tie, Stripes, and Rose said in unison, "You'll find out after you regenerate."

Amy had enough. She wriggled out from Rory's arms. "Explain!"

Rose beamed a smile at her. "You have got to be Amy Pond."

Amy's hand went up. "Yes! I'm Amy. This is my husband Rory. Who the hell are you people?"

Everyone except Amy and Rory laughed outright. Leather piped up with a, "Oh I like her. Where's you pick her up?" Stripes said "Leadworth," at the same time Bow Tie said, "Spoliers."

Stripes pointed at Leather while looking at Rose. She got the hint and tugged that Doctor away towards his TARDIS, with him protesting. "Oi! I wanna hear this!"

Rose shook her head. "You can't. Not yet. C'mon. Tell me about JFK."

When they were out of earshot, Bow Tie and Tweed spoke up. "That man in leather and the Northern accent was me two bodies ago." Amy and Rory just gaped at him.

There was a quiet voice coming from their TARDIS. "I want to get to know that one a lot better."

The Doctor spun on his heel. "Back inside! He never knew you, River. You can't know him."

River muttered. "Damn," and headed back to one of the console chairs to sulk.

"And who's this, then?" Rory asked while gesturing to Stripes and brown leather.

He and the Doctor both replied with, "It's complicated."

"Okay. You two seriously need to stop with the twin speak," Amy said. Then she perked up. "You called him brother." She turned to Stripes. "You're the Doctor's brother?"

They looked at each other and shrugged, then the Doctor waved for him to explain.

Stripes held his right hand up. "Technically, we're the same person. This hand was the Doctor's, but it was cut off in a sword fight right after bad temper over there regenerated. Lots of stuff happened in between, but when the version of us that looked like me needed to regenerate, he healed himself then poured the excess into this hand. More stuff happened, then Donna touched it and it grew into me."

The Doctor continued. "He's me and not me. John here is a combination of myself and Donna Noble, a dear friend to both of us."

John smiled, then blanched. "Oh, by the way Doctor. She remembers everything now."

The Doctor's eyes bulged. "I told you not to do that!"

John grabbed a hold of the Doctor's shoulders. "Doctor, Stop. She remembers, she's happier for it, and she and her husband are extremely happy together. It worked out right in the end. No Time Lord knowledge, just her."

The Doctor tilted his head. "You still feel like her."

John snorted. "Well of course! I only copied what she did into her mind. I didn't give it outright. Rose wouldn't have it any other way."

Amy was looking between the pair of them, completely lost. "I still... What?"

They looked at her and replied in unison. "I'll explain later," which made Rory snort a chuckle.

Meanwhile, Rose was keeping the other Doctor occupied. She talked about her life with John and their daughter for a while before he interrupted. "So, how did you come to travel with me?"

She smiled. "I knew it." Stretching up on her tip toes, she whispered in his ear. "Just go back to the place you left me thirty three seconds after you left, and tell me the TARDIS is a time machine. You wont be rid of me then."

Rose let herself down and looked up at him, smiling wide and gently rocking back and forth. Her smile crept towards him until he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "Fantastic!"

They both heard John shout at them. "Oi! You lot! Safe to come back now!"

While they were walking back, the Bow Tie Doctor whispered into John's ear. John looked startled. "Oh! Right!" He stepped into his TARDIS and found little Phea hiding behind the door. Kneeling down to her, he said "Hey sleepy head. Want to meet your Auntie?"

Phea perked up. "Auntie River's here?" John nodded to her and picked her up. He walked from his TARDIS to Tweed's and stepped inside.

Leather Doctor saw her and caught his breath. "She's gorgeous," he whispered. Rose looked up to him with a proud 'Told you' grin.

John found River with her arms crossed and looking very sullen. "Hello River."

She looked up and saw him holding his little girl. "Oh my. Who's this?"

"This little wonder is Pasephea Tyler, your neice," John smiled. "Mind looking after her while our little soirée is going on?"

River stood up, entranced, and reached for her. "Oh I do. Hello Pasiphea. And how old are you?" Phea giggled and reached for her as well, while her father handed her over.

"Five," the little girl grinned. "And call me Phea. Hello Auntie River. You still making unca crazy?"

River giggled and hugged her close. "Yes I am. Oh she's delightful, John. You go on with what needs to be done. We'll discover things here in the TARDIS while you're gone."

John reached over and kissed River's cheek. "Thanks dear." Turning to his daughter, he said, "You mind your Auntie River now. No snappy comebacks or pouting. Got it?"

Phea giggled and said, "I pwomise," while crossing her fingers behind River's neck.

Outside, Amy had caught on to who Rose was, when John scooted past her with his daughter. "You... lucky... Prat!" Rory blanched and playfully swatted her shoulder with an 'Oi', while Rose giggled like a schoolgirl.

"Now, now, now, Mrs. Pond," Tweed scolded. "You got yours, she got hers."

"I, I, I know... but," she stuttered as John came back outside, silencing her defensive protest.

The Leather Doctor came over to look John up and down. Sniffing, his brow bunched and he frowned. "You're half human?"

John held up a finger. "Ah, ah. You'll find out when the time's right. File that away for now."

"Right. This is about to get a bit undignified," Tweed said as he and John both looked up. All three TARDIS closed their doors automatically, just before there was a thundering boom from overhead. Everyone else looked up with the noise.

Rose tugged at her husband's sleeve. "What is that, a ship?"

Tweed answered for him. "Exactly. That's a medivac ship with severe engine trouble. It's going to crash land somewhere over there," he pointed behind John's TARDIS. "I suggest everyone take some cover... Now!"

John and Leather pulled Rose to hide behind the infant TARDIS with Leather pinning them both to it, while Tweed grabbed the other married couple and pinned them behind theirs. There was an increasing roar as the ship got closer, before there was a thundering explosion. The wind from it roared past the three TARDIS with loads of dirt and fire.

While the TARDIS' were being buffeted, Nine shouted a question at John, "What planet is this?"

Tweed answered Amy's identical question with a yell. "Tribellous Six, after the collapse of the Fourth Plegian Dynasty! Fixed Point Extinction Event that happened some hundred years ago! There are twenty six survivors on that ship that need our help, as well as a rather large bug that caused the crash in the first place!"

Rose shouted to John. "What bug?"

John shouted back, "It's an Pikellan Isomorph! Takes the shape of whatever you fear the most!"

The howling wind died down. "Oh fantastic," The Leather Doctor muttered.