Author Note: Torchwood is owned by the BBC.

Owen watched curiously as Ianto passed out the coffee for their morning meeting; his, Gwen's and Tosh's were normal but Jack's was piled high with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. He shrugged his shoulders and put it down to Ianto being romantic to his partner, it still weirded him out to think that the casual office fling had turned into something fairly serious.


Owen was irritated, Ianto had said that they were out of biscuits but he had just taken a huge plateful up to Jack's office and they were the good kind, chocolate and hazelnut. He didn't see why Jack was getting the posh biscuits and he was getting none, had he somehow pissed off Ianto?


It was time to finish for the day and Owen was shocked as he saw Ianto refuse an early night in with Jack. He frowned thinking over the last few days; there had been no intimacy between Jack and Ianto, which was odd they were always discreetly touching or full on snogging in the hub. He suddenly felt a little worried; Ianto seemed to be compensating for this with sweet treats and ridiculously good coffee, had he done something? Had he cheated on Jack and now the guilt was getting to him? Owen was concerned about the future dynamics of the Hub, but equally he looked forward to the gossip and revelations. Who would've thought that Tea Boy could do it!


It had been a week since Owen had noticed the odd behaviour and his curiosity grew. He would catch the two men in whispered arguments, Jack saying something about it not being Ianto's fault. Owen couldn't take it any longer and asked Jack what was going on between the two of them.

Jack looked at Owen strangely, "so you noticed huh? … It's stupid really…"

Owen leant forward Ianto had obviously done something stupid or embarrassing and he couldn't wait to tease him. His eyebrows shot up as Jack said, "he killed me."

"What!" yelled Owen in a strangled voice, "and you've let him stay!"

Jack shushed him, worried that Ianto would hear. "He didn't mean to" he whispered as he dragged Owen into his office.

Owen put his hands on his hips, "he didn't mean to?" he replied slowly and sarcastically.

To his surprise Jack blushed and looked away, "we were…well we were…well."

"What happened Jack!" exclaimed Owen.

"We were having sex right? And er…well Ianto's pretty good at sex…amazing in fact."

Owen pulled a face, "I don't need to know that."

Jack shot him a look, "you wanted to know! Anyway, he was teasing me a bit…doing wonderful things with his tongue…" Owen looked at Jack pointedly, "anyway I said that I was better at teasing and he countered me on it, we said that we'd time it and see who gave in first, the aim was to go thirty minutes without letting each other come but just be on the brink of it."

Owen mentally shuddered at the image.

"I didn't think he could do it, but he lasted half hour without giving in or anything, so then he started on me and…"

"And?" prompted Owen.

"He got me that geared up and excited that I…that I had a heart attack."

Owen looked at his boss in disbelief and then he howled with laughter he couldn't help it, it was brilliant!

Jack again shushed him, "Owen it's not funny I think I've actually ruined our sex life, he won't go near me! And let's face it if he won't go near me when I can't die, he won't ever sleep with anybody else!"

Owen couldn't help it; he was bent over double, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I've tried to tell him that accidents happen but I think that I've scared him off of sex!"

Owen howled, he couldn't help it, something like this could only happen to the tea boy.

The sound of Owen's laughter echoed around the hub and the girls looked up in surprise. Ianto was typing a report and froze as heard it, immediately he knew that Jack had told Owen what happened. Ianto groaned, he was never going hear the end of this.