DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Princess Bride or Corpse Bride.
Star felt it in her gut. Something was amiss! Something was dreadfully amiss.
"Whatever could be dreadfully amiss?" Stanton mused. He went back to pouting because Serena was having a tea party with Walina and he hadn't been invited.
"Something is amiss!" Vanessa declared.
Star rolled her eyes. "This has already been established."
"What could be amiss!" Lambert declared.
"Why are we restating things that have already been stated? Why has the smog cleared from L.A.? Why are in a church? Why is Star in a wedding dress?" Tianna said.
The Followers and the Atrox began wailing because they weren't allowed on scared ground. (It had something to do with a Follower who tried to cross over a Priest's daughter and he hadn't been too happy about it.) Star looked down and screeched. She was indeed in a wedding dress with her hair pulled back with a veil draping down her back. The dress was pretty, not all white but hemmed with emerald green. In her hand was a bouquet of white lilies.
"What the heck?" Star screamed.
"Sit!" A powerful male voice commanded. The beings of supreme evil stopped their horrific noise and sat on the pews as did the Daughters and some other people.
Star stood in the middle of the aisle. She knew that voice.
"Someone smite me!" She declared. This was not to end well. But she was not smited despite being in a room filled with people who would gladly smite her without a second thought.
Hector, Derek, Collin the Sons of the Dark, Zahi, Justin, and Mason appeared at the front of the church where the choir went.
"Wedding, a wedding, we're going to have a wedding, a wedding!" They sang like a badass church choir.
Serena hopped up. "I want to play my cello."
"I want to sing!" Vanessa said.
"Sit!" The same mysterious male voice said. The girls immediately sat back down.
"Huzzah! Huzzah!" The deep voiced boys sang. "We're going to have a wedding. Hurray! A wedding! Hurray! Let's all give out a cheer cause the bride is getting married today! Hurray!"
The entire gathered cried. "Hurray!"
"One thing you can surely say is we will stand beside. Until the end, we will defend our one and only bride." They pointed at Star who standing stupidly in the middle of aisle confused out of her wits.
"Our bride to be, our bride to be, our lovely Dorky Bride. Huzzah! Hurray! Huzzah! Hurray! The bride is getting married today."
"Hell no!" Star screamed.
"We're going to have a party like no-one has ever seen. The normal people in the land above will not know where they've been. The Land above…The party of... The Bride!"
"Stop singing!" Star started throwing snowballs at them.
"Here comes the bride on her glorious day of days. Up to the Land of the Normals to celebrate!"
"Why are we here?"
Star looked behind her and saw other Daughters of the Moon fanfic authors in pews. Question mark?
An arm went around her waist and lifted her up. The groom began carrying her toward the altar. She looked at the groom.
"YOU!" Star said.
"Hey dork." Ghost guy said.
"No!" She grabbed a pew leg and held on for dear life.
Ghost guy grabbed her legs.
"Don't touch those, those are mine!" She let go of the pew leg to hit him with her bouquet, that she hadn't let go of yet.
He grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. She smacked his back with the bouquet and was surprised that it didn't fall apart.
He dropped her at the altar. "Anyone here a minister?"
Everyone looked around. The Atrox raised its hand.
"Cool, come on up!" He said.
The Atrox disappeared and reappeared in front of the groom and the fanfic author dressed like a bride.
He put on some glasses and opened a book. He looked over at the gathered.
"Mawidge…mawdige is what bwings us togewer…today…to join willingly this ghost and forcibly join this fanfic author."
"Oh my Goddess! I love the princess bride!" Jimena said.
Stanton leaned over to Lambert. "When did the Atrox starting talking like that?"
Lambert begins balling. "It's…so beautiful. I promised myself I wouldn't cry!" He leaned on Adamantis who starts balling.
"I always cry at weddings!" He screamed dabbing his face with a hankie. Stanton crossed his arms and went back to pouting about the tea party he hadn't been invited to. He glared over and saw Serena hugging Walina.
Meanwhile, Star is wrestling trying to get out of Ghost Guy's death grip.
"Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam wiffim a dweam..."
"I don't! I don't! I don't! I DON'T!" Star screamed.
The Atrox snapped his fingers a white gag appeared around Star's mouth because black would clash with her white dress. She screamed muffledly into the cloth.
"So…tweasuwe your vruv…your twue vruv. Do you, Ghost Guy willing mawy this fanfic awor?"
"Yep." Ghost guy said.
The Atrox looked at Star, who was pleading with her eyes for him not to continue.
"Not I'm even going to ask you." He said.
"Mmmmmmm!" Star shrieked.
"So til death…"
"Mmmmm-ha!" Star tugged the gag down enough to speak. "He's a Ghost. He's dead! This marriage is void-mmmm!" Ghost guy tugged the gag back over her mouth.
"In this fanfic I am alive." He put her hand over his heart. "See beating. On with the wedding!"
"Mmmmm!" Star protested. She tugged it down. "How do I know that's not fake?"
He grinned. "What you wanna strip me-OW!"
Star began kicking him and hitting him with her bouquet.
"Abuse, abuse!" He screamed. He drew out a pair of handcuffs with a long chain. He snapped one on his wrist and the other on hers. "HA!"
"Oh, great you gave me something I can strangle you with." She held the chain in her hands.
"Promise?" He said. "Can you say husband and wife real quick?"
"By the power given to me…by me," The Atrox smirked.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" She screamed. The Atrox thought a minute about what he was about to do.
"Husband and wife!" It declared.
Everyone stood up and threw white petals into the air. Adamantis and Lambert were leaning on one another sobbing beyond loudly holding pink handkerchiefs and dabbing their delicate faces with them.
"KISS HER! KISS HER!" Everyone yelled pumping the air with their fists.
"Wait, wait!" Star ducked away from Ghost guy's puckered face. "This can't be legal." She looked at her fellow fanfic authors.
"This is a dilemma." One of them said, stroking her chin.
"I would just like to add I stole her laptop which would make me a fanfic author." Ghost guy said.
He grabbed her face and kissed her flat on the lips.
Fanfic authors looked one another. "She does have a point. He is a ghost in the 'real world.'" Her nose wrinkled in distaste. "And forcing a marriage via fanfic isn't ethical."
"When do we care about ethicness?" Another fanfic author said with a wicked grin.
Some of the others nodded in agreement.
"But this might cross the line though." Another said.
"This may cross the line though." One of them agreed.
"We should vote!" Another declared.
"That would too cruel to leave it up to other fanfic authors who weren't invited."
"They're probably holding a grudge because they weren't invited."
The fanfic authors glanced at the kissing couple. Star's hand was curled like she was trying to conjure a knife to stab into his back.
They all looked one another. "Reception first."
I don't know where this came from.