OSH's Doctor of Love

Chapter 1:

The Obvious is Clouded by the Naive

His stupidity irritated himself; how could he have not realized it in the first place? Hell, why had I even went there in the first place? He thought to himself. Oh, how had he gotten himself in this mess in the first place?

He reflected on how it had all started earlier that day: It was second period; the only class he didn't have with her. Which sucked, because he didn't get to be next her like usual. It was the only class he didn't have an "A" in. This reason was because of her; it was hard to concentrate when he was only thinking of her. It was easy working when she was around, because usually they would work together or she would (only because she was indisposed with kicking ass) copy off of him. Besides that he also hated economics.

While he was busy thinking of a certain person. He had not heard some of his classmates who sat in front of him talking. But as soon as he heard what they were talking about, he removed his hand from his cheek and listened in.

"Yeah, it's true I heard about it at Steamers Cafe," One of them said, "So what do you say, its worth a try, right?"

"I don't know man, its just a rumor anyway," the other said, "And still how do you know its legit anyway?"

"Because it was all the rage at Steamers," the first one replied, "and when has Steamers L'D ever been faulty?"

"Oh gee, what about the time when you said Hercule and a Monkey were in a fist fight on top of a table for the last crescent roll?" the second one inquired.

"Hey, that dude with the afro looked just like him, and I swear that lady was as hairy as an chimpanzee," the first retorted.

"Still I don't think it's a good idea," the second one said.

"Dude, Red Star High, Blue Star High, and Green Star High each have one," the first stated, "it was only a matter of time Orange Star got one too; dude, Pink Star even has one,"

"Wait, isn't Pink Star an all girls academy?" the second asked.

"Hey, who said love was loyal to the heterosexuals?" the first inquired.

"Umm...excuse me, but what are you guys talking about?" Gohan asked,

"Oh Gohan, we didn't know you were listening," the first said,

"Sorry couldn't help but listen," Gohan apologized,

"Hey, no worries we were just talking about the supposed new Orange Star High's Doctor of Love," the second said,

"The Doctor of what?" Gohan asked.

"The Doctor of love," the first answered, "the doctor helps set up and manage relationships of Love,"

He really emphasized the word 'love'; he sounded dreamy and made it sound like Luh-ahva rather than luhv.

He should have said "oh, I didn't know we had one of those" and have let that be the end of it. Instead, being as naive as he was, he said instead:

"I didn't know you could a PH.D in love"

The first one just gaped at him, and the second choked back a laugh. When Gohan gave them a confused look, they decided that they better explain.

"Umm...Gohan its just a term used to describe a person who is paid to help a person get another person to go on a date with them," the first explained, "they provide you with advice and ideas to start and keep a relationship, like I said earlier,"

"Oh...that's weird," Gohan said.

"Gohan... no offense but you may be book smart, but common sense wise, you are sort of a door nob," the second one said, "No offense, but it's sort of true, I'm not trying to be mean or anything though"

"Non-taken," Gohan said simply. He knew that was true; he wasn't 'down' with the slang like everyone else in high school was. He was just simply raised that way.

"Anyway, the doctor's office is supposed to be on the fourth floor in the old janitor's closet across the hall from room 407," the first stated, "I'm gonna ask and see if I can get Keiko to go to the dance with me, I will be her knight in shining armor (lvl. 100 knight I might add) and she will be my fair maiden who will-,"

"Lee you can only go up to lvl. 90 with a knight in shining armor-"

"You can be a 100 if you wield the shield of Bor-Ton the slayer, noob!"

"Be quiet!" the teacher yelled at the bickering nerds; silencing them immediately.

Economics went on as usual; boring as hell. Although he had gotten something new to think about. He got a small feeling that maybe he should go see the doctor, but he dismissed these thoughts as he received his assignment. Later he reopened the thoughts after realizing that he had no idea how to do the homework, because he was having a conversation when it was being taught. The small feeling began to feel like a possibility of help with her. However the more and more he thought about it the more he wanted to visit the doctor. Maybe he can help he thought But what if he tells people? I can't risk that! He was torn from his thoughts from the bell signaling it was time to change classes.

Third period he finally got to be next to her. And normally he would be very happy with that except that his thoughts began to annoy more and more. Just go and talk to him once that's it, that's all I'm asking for part of him thought, NO! It's weird getting advice from a person I don't know, and if I'm gonna to ask her on a date, I wanna do it my self. The other part thought, You and I both know you don't have the courage to ask her out on a date, and you know what's sad? You love the idea of her trying so hard to find out the truth about you being Saiyaman the first one insisted, I do not!... do I? The second asked, You do, and I love it too! The first one exclaimed, Yeah I guess so, but you know what I also love? her short raven colored hair... the second part thought, yeah and her beautiful sapphire eyes! The second part continued, and she's very strong, in will power and physical strength, and she never gives up, she's...she's, "perfect" the first part finished.

"Gohan? Hello, Gohan are you in there?" Erasa asked, she had caught him staring dreamily at the wall.

"Huh? Whaa? Oh, sorry Erasa," Gohan apologized, "I was uh... thinking of my economics class,"

"That's okay, I was just wondering if you had the answer for number 27?" She asked.

"Oh, one sec...it's y=x2+15x-76%," Gohan said,

"Wow nerd-boy, even when you're daydreaming you still finish your homework," Sharpner sneered.

"Shut up Sharpner, at least Gohan does his homework," said a certain raven haired girl.

"What! I do to do my homework!" Sharpner yelled

"EXCUSE ME!" the teacher yelled louder, "But I believe I told you to do your homework for this class!"

"I'm sorry I meant at least he does his homework well," the girl whispered back to him.

Sharpner mumbled something under his breath, and they all went back to work; everyone except Gohan that is. His heart had leaped when the girl of his dreams had stood up for him. Which in turn caused him to want to go to the doctor even more. But his thoughts were yet again cut short by the bell; this time signaling for lunch.

During lunch he kept thinking about the love doctor. He was now seriously considering going to see him. Only then the thought occurred to him, who could the love doctor be? Then another thought that scared him even more was what if it was her who was the doctor? Though that thought was discredited because she wasn't really a love inclined person; unless you call martial arts and crime fighting 'love'. Not only that but her dad disapproved of almost every boy in town, the only few he did, she didn't like.

Fourth period was just torture; his mental battle was reaching its climax. Now he was sure that he had to make a decision. It was go or don't; he had a hard time weighing down between the two. After a while of struggling, he decided to make a mental list of pros and cons. Pros- he would finally be more than a friend with her. Cons- the doctor could be her, the whole thing could be fake (like a certain afro and monkey story he had heard), the person who the doctor is could tell everyone that he liked her that would ruin his chances. Or worst of all if he failed she might hate him. The risks are high, but it could be my only chance he thought, ah... why did I have to fall for her.

When was the first time he started loving her? He started thinking of it, and decided it was when she fought him. The time he tried to save a baby dinosaur and she thought he was stealing it. If there's one thing Gohan likes more than food, it's fighting; and fight she could! She was the strongest human he had ever seen. A lot stronger than her father that's for sure.

"Gohan? are you okay?" Erasa asked

"huh? Whaa? Oh sorry I'm a little out of it today," Gohan apologized, rubbing the back of his neck and giving her a warm smile.

"No problem, I've noticed ever since third period you have been really quiet," She said, "Did something happen in second period? You were fine first period,"

They were in art class, at the round table in the back of the room. This is the only class that just Gohan and Erasa only, had together. The energetic blonde was talking about the new couples that had been forming rapidly around the school.

"Oh, no I'm fine I am just worried about this economics project," He said quickly,

"Oh okay," She wasn't entirely convinced that was the problem, but she let it go.

"So what's your drawing of?"Gohan asked, attempting small talk.

"Just some of my dress designs for the Halloween Dance," Erasa replied, her face lighting up, "So anyway, Gohan I was wondering if your still in town around four if you want to go to the Steamers Cafe?"

"Sure...but why four?," He asked, his drawing forgotten.

"Because I have this...uh after school...thing I have to do," She replied nervously.

"All right I guess I'll meet you there, Erasa," Gohan said, not noticing how nervous she was.

Without the distraction of conversation from Erasa he was haunted by the decision. He thought and thought and finally he decided. He knew the risks, but he knew that he really really needed help. His decision was made he had to go to the Doctor.

If fourth period was torture, fifth period was hell. The clock seemed as though froze in time, as if this one hour would never end. It was Language Arts, he was in the back next to Sharpner. He was doodling while Sharpner was talking about his muscles, new ways to work out, and "babes".

"Yeah man, but Hina has some rockin' tits though," Sharpner said, "but Keiko's are melons man,"

"hmm?, oh right!" Gohan, replied, "Yeah...Keiko...tits...right," he honestly did not know who, (nor did he care) Hina, or Keiko was.

"Nerdboy what the hell?" Sharpner asked, "are you gay or something?"

"err...what does gay mean?" Gohan asked, "And people grow melons in the city?"

"Uhh...man it's like talking to a child!" Sharpner exclaimed, "Gay is slang for homosexual, do ya get that nerdboy?"

"Yes I am familiar with that term," Gohan replied, barely paying attention to him, Sharpner continued talking about woman's breast as though it was a contest for "who-has-bigger-ones?". Gohan had to deal with Sharpner fifth period, he was always talking about stuff like this. It irritated Gohan, who was taught to respect all woman, also he was taught (by his Mom, of course) that woman were always right. But that was dis proven to Gohan after seeing many girls answer wrongly in class. Nevertheless Gohan still held woman in the highest respect, and most of the time, woman were usually more correct than men. In not just book smarts, but also common sense wise too.

He was drawing a picture of a shaded figure firing a Kamahamaha. He put as much of detail as you could with a pencil, when a shadow appeared over the light he needed to draw the picture.

"Hiya, Gohan!" the Girl exclaimed, "Watch'ya Drawin'?"

"Huh?Whaa?" the girl took Gohan surprise, "Oh it's just a doodle...err...I'm sorry what's your name again?"

The disgruntled girl looked at him with a irritated look, "I have told my name three times silly!"

she replied, "It's Keiko! Remember me? Keiko? Throw me bone here!"

"err...sorry doesn't ring any bells," Gohan replied rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "can I help you with something?"

"Yes you can," she said, "I was just looking for a really cute guy to share a coffee with, know anyone like that?"

Her flirt bounced off him, like a sword off a shield, "uh... no one that I know of," Gohan replied, "but Sharpner said he wanted to eat your melons, hmm...I didn't think anyone had a garden in the city,"

"Oh, he mentioned my melons did he?" she asked, looking royally pissed.

"I'm sorry did I upset you?" Gohan replied, disturbed by the sudden new look on her face.

"No you didn't, I was just thinking of someone else that made me mad." she replied, glaring daggers at Sharpner.

Sharpner cowered in the corner, under Keiko's death glare. Gohan, not realizing he said anything wrong, continued (thinking with his stomach) by saying:

"Oh... well, can I try some of your melons?"

Keiko (instead of looking pissed) giggled and blushed, then smiled and said:

"You can try my melon's anytime Gohan!" she said happily.

"Oh that's great!" Gohan said, "you wouldn't happen to have watermelon would you?"

Her face went from bright, to confused, to amused.

"Oh, Gohan," she laughed, and touched his cheek, "it's a good thing you're cute!"

She continued to laugh and walked away; leaving a very confused Gohan behind.

"Man, your are worse than a child!" Sharpner said, "you just got an offer of a life time!"

"Why?" Gohan asked, "does her watermelon taste that good?"

Sharpner looked at him like he was an idiot. "Gah! Nerdboy your impossible!"

Sharpner was going to say more, but was cut off by the bell. Gohan had been distracted he had forgotten all about staring at the clock. It was probably a good thing I forgot about the clock, Gohan thought, it made time go a lot faster. He dropped his things off in his locker, and took off for the fourth floor. He was already on the second floor so it was only two floors up before he could talk to the Doctor. Excitement filled him, and what started as a fast walk soon became a run. He bolted up the stairs and burst through the doors that had two big 4s on each door at speed nearing lightning. He was whipping around the corner when he had almost slammed his face on the floor because he had to make a sudden stop. There in front of him was that one girl he truly feared, and loved. He had fought enemies so strong that just their presence would kill normal humans; he had his body broken, crushed, and thrown around, but the only thing that ever brought him to his knees was the girl standing in front of him. That girl was Videl Satan.

"Where are you going Gohan?" she asked accusingly, "wouldn't be to roof would it?"

"Err...what do mean Videl?" Gohan asked a question as his answer, "I was...err...going to...err...the...b-bathroom,"

As Gohan silently congratulated himself for a nice save, Videl said: "hmm...sure you are," then she walked in closer to him, making his heart rate sky-rocket. Then she jabbed her index finger into his chest. And said: "Know this, I got my eye on you!" After saying this she walked past him, turned the corner, walked down the hall and out the doors. Gohan just sat there listening to the doors as they swung back and forth slowly coming to a stop. After remembering the task at hand he dashed off towards the old Janitors closet. I had better not change on the roof anymore Gohan thought she suspects that too now, darn... Room 407 came into view, then the Janitors closet. This is it... Gohan thought, he took a deep breath, grabbed the handle and turned it.

The first thing he could tell, was that it was a very large room, not a closet. And there had been a new wall put up in the middle, there was a waiting room and a secretary typing something on a laptop. The room was painted dark purple with pink Christmas tree lights lacing the borders of the ceiling. Their was hearts and mini cupids plastered all over the walls. It was how did his classmates describe..."gay" that was it.

When he approached the girl at the desk she said without even looking up, "Take seat and the Doctor will be right with you,"

"uh... okay," Gohan said, but before he could sit down the girl looked up, blushed, and said "Oh it's you Gohan!"

"Er..uh...Hana is it?" Gohan guessed,

The girl looked let down and replied with, "Hina, Gohan I've told you 5 times now..."

"I'm sorry," Gohan said, "I have a hard time with names..."

"That's all right," she said, "Take a seat and the Doc will be with you soon"

Gohan took a seat and waited anxiously for his turn. He recognized some of the people waiting in the room with him. There was Lee who was shifting around nervously in his seat in the back. And few girls he recognized from his classes, though he could not name them. Lee's friend from economics came out of the door at the middle of the newly setup wall, looking quite pleased. He gave Lee a thumbs up, who returned it halfheartedly. The secretary called out a number and Lee stood up and walked nervously into the next room. The secretary handed Gohan a piece of paper with a number on it: 27.

When Lee came back out, he no longer looked nervous, he looked happy. That made Gohan even more excited to meet the doctor. He was getting very anxious; everyone but him was being called, but after the last person came out he knew it was his turn.

"Number 27, Gohan it's your turn," Hina said.

"uh...alright," Gohan said, he got up and walked towards the door, his heart pounding like crazy. He opened the door and walked inside. It was pitch black in the room, he could sense a power level on the other side of another wall in the middle of this room.

"Name, and person you wish to court," a deep computerized voice said through a speaker.

"M-my n-name," Gohan stuttered nervously, "i-is uh..."

"Your name or stop wasting my time,"

"I-I a-am," Gohan stopped, and took a breath

"I am Son, Gohan," Gohan said calmly, "and I wish to court Videl Satan,"

The lights turned on; the room had industrial lighting newly put in. The room was painted white with bluish-pink carpeting, it was like walking on cotton candy. There was a small one-way mirror in the middle of the wall in front of him and there was a metal door on the far side of the wall.

"Gohan?" the voice asked, "well sorry but this is a special case,"

"Oh, o-okay," he said, "I-I understand I won't c-come back-"

"Since this case is special," the voice continued, ignoring him completely, "anonymous advice will not be sufficient, direct contact must be put into place, should you accept the terms of a legally binding contract and blah-blah-blah, I'm just going to come out and talk to you... one sec,"

He heard a bunch of clicks, and clanks; the sound of locks unlocking. He took a deep breath, he was getting excited he was about to meet the doctor! The door opened slowly, the suspense building! Then standing in front of him was the the doctor: Erasa.

"Hiya Gohan, How about that coffee?" she said happily.

It was so obvious why had he not realized in the first place? Erasa the one always talking about the new couples, Erasa the one who gossips about how "cute" people are together, Erasa the one who had the nickname "Expert Dater", Erasa the one who told him she had an "after school thing". It was so obvious Gohan resisted the urge to shoot a Ki blast into his own face. He felt as though he could have died just then out of embarrassment.

That was the start of his life becoming a massive roller-coaster.