L and Light practiced for the interview with Misa for a couple of days. And when the date of the interview came, Misa left for the Yotsuba office with Mogi who was playing her manager now that Matsuda was believed to be dead.
Matsuda was walking around the monitoring room, worrying about Misa and her performance in the interview. Soichiro Yagami tried to focus on working on a computer but Matsuda's restless behavior disturbed him.
Meanwhile L and Light had gone into their room to play chess. Light, too, was worried about Misa but L didn't show any emotions at all – just as usual. The two of them were sitting on a couch, having a chess board in between them. Light looked very absentminded and he couldn't really focus on the game. L, on the other hand, seemed to be very interested in the game. But he kept glancing at Light occasionally. Light didn't pay attention to L's glances.
The brunette leaned his back against the back of the couch. L had made his move and it was Light's turn now. Light seemed to be looking at the chess board but he didn't actually see it. He was wondering if something had already gone wrong with Misa's interview.
"Light-kun", L stated.
Light startled a little. He raised his gaze up at L.
"It is your turn", L said to him.
Light massaged his temples with his hands. "Oh… right…" he muttered. "But I really can't focus on this game right now…"
"You are worried about Misa-san", L said. "Aren't you, Light-kun?"
"What if something goes wrong?" Light asked. "Misa is just so…" He sighed, deciding to leave it up to L to ponder what he had been about to say about Misa. "Ah… Just… never mind… I'm not in the playing mood right now", he said instead. "Let's quit, Ryuzaki."
L shrugged, lifting the chess board aside. He sat back down next to Light, placing his knees against his chest. That was the characteristic sitting position of his. He glanced at Light again from the corner of his eye. The brunette's beautiful features were shadowed by worries. L wanted to make Light not to worry so much. He wanted to pat Light's shoulder, tell him that everything was just fine and there was no need to worry in advance. Only if something bad really happened, then they should start worrying.
L had been missing the beautiful, bright smile of Light's… Recently Light had been so tense and up-tight… And L wanted to make Light smile at him. But he didn't quite know how to do it. He saw Light's hand on the couch in between the two of them and placed his own surreptitiously on it.
Light felt L's hand on his own but he tried to ignore it completely. However, ignoring L soon became impossible since the detective slowly inched closer to him on the couch. So close, that L was soon sitting right next to him and there was simply no empty space left in between the two of them.
At that point Light stood up and took a few steps away from the couch. He couldn't go far because of the handcuffs but he was too restless to sit still. L stared at Light's back, really wanting to pull the younger one back to the couch with him.
"Going somewhere, Light-kun…?" he asked lazily.
"I… I'm not feeling too good about this, Ryuzaki", Light replied, still having his back turned on L. "I mean… about Misa being in the Yotsuba office and all…"
L didn't know what to say. He could have just said that everything was fine but Light wouldn't have believed him… He stood up, too, walking to Light from behind and placing his hands on the brunette's shoulders, starting to massage them carefully.
Light startled and turned around to face L's gaze.
"What are you doing, Ryuzaki…?" he asked abashedly.
"I'm giving Light-kun a massage", L replied simply, making Light turn back around so that he could continue massaging him. "I figured it might make you feel better…" he explained.
"Ryuzaki, you really don't need to do such a thing…" Light muttered. "I'm just fine…"
"But it'll be my pleasure to do so", L said persistently. "I insist, Light-kun."
Light turned to look at L over his shoulder and seeing L's strict face really made him believe that L meant his words.
"Fine…" he muttered, turning his gaze away. "I guess it can't hurt…"
"It won't hurt", L convinced. "I'll be gentle."
Light stared forward without really seeing a thing. At first it was hard to relax when L massaged his shoulders but Light soon noticed that he didn't feel so tense anymore. And now that he was being massaged, he gradually started to feel a little drowsy. His thoughts began to drift somewhere far.
"Where have you learned to massage so well, Ryuzaki?" he asked without really realizing that he was saying it out loud.
"Oh, Light-kun likes this – am I correct to assume that? L replied with a question.
"I… um… Oh, yeah, I guess so…" Light muttered.
"I'm glad", L said softly, leaning his face against the back of Light's head. He breathed in the sweet scent of Light's hair. He wrapped his arms around Light's shoulders and hugged him from behind.
Light blinked his eyes. "What's the matter, Ryuzaki?" he asked. "Why… why did you stop…?"
L kept a short pause before replying. "Does Light-kun want me to continue…?" he spoke against Light's hair.
Light hesitated. "No… You don't need to…" he muttered. "This is good… This… feels… good just like this…"
L didn't say anything but he agreed. He greatly enjoyed having these kinds of moments with Light. They didn't always have to talk. It felt good just to be together with Light, just to be close to him.
L petted Light's cheek carefully with his fingertips. He breathed in the scent of Light's hair, pressing his lips lightly against the skin of Light's neck.
Light got chills. For some reason his hands suddenly started sweating He gulped silently.
L petted Light's cheek with his hand and gave a couple kisses on the skin area below Light's ear. He slid his other hand down on Light's chest and slowly started to unbutton Light's shirt with it. He turned the younger one around and gripped his shirt with his both hands, pressing his lips against Light's, kissing him torridly.
Soon after he had unbuttoned Light's shirt completely. The shirt fell off Light's shoulders and slumped down on the floor. L kicked it aside and pushed Light against the nearest wall, tucking his tongue into the brunette's mouth.
Somehow knotting cherry stems suddenly popped into Light's mind. He had seen L doing that and thought that it probably asked for some real skills to knot something with one's tongue. And now he couldn't help himself thinking that knotting cherry stems had something to do with the fact that L was a stunning good kisser. Light felt his legs giving up under his body weight and he completely lost his balance. He slid down to the floor. L came down with him, still kissing him. Light's head was spinning and his heart was beating fast. He would have just collapsed on the floor if L hadn't been there, pushing him against the wall.
"Matsuda, I'm no longer a chief", Soichiro Yagami reminded Matsuda.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Chief", Matsuda said apologetically. "It's just that I've gotten used to calling you Chief…"
Soichiro Yagami sighed quietly. "It doesn't matter, Matsuda", he said. "Anyway, what did you want to say to me?"
"Um…" Matsuda began, hesitating a little. "It's just that… that… Well… Have you noticed – and of course you must have noticed – that Ryuzaki and Light are always being together… and very often just the two of them…?"
"Yes, I do have noticed that", Soichiro Yagami said soberly. "And what about it?"
Matsuda felt awkward. "Well… How could I put it…." he muttered. "Aren't you worried about it, Chief…?"
"Why would I be?" Soichiro Yagami asked, lifting his eyebrows.
Matsuda scratched the back of his head, feeling uneasy. "Well of course you don't need to be worried about it… It's only good that you trust Ryuzaki…"
Soichiro Yagami's expression was extremely strict. "Matsuda, just tell me what this is all about", he said. "What do you mean by that? Why would I be worried?"
Matsuda hoped that he hadn't ever opened his mouth and talked to Soichiro Yagami about this matter. Of course he deeply admired Yagami and wanted to be loyal to him but he should have known that Yagami wouldn't understand his concern. But it was too late to regret. He had to try to explain it to him.
"Well…" he began. "Sure I trust Ryuzaki, too… Just like you do, Chief. And of course he is very smart and sharp-witted and everything… But he is… a bit… odd… And he suspects your son, Chief. Your own son."
"I know that, Matsuda", Soichiro Yagami said.
"But doesn't it bother you?" Matsuda asked.
"Of course it does", Soichiro Yagami said. "But Ryuzaki has his reasons to suspect Light. I personally don't believe that my son could be Kira. I know him, I know my son. But I respect Ryuzaki and you should respect him, too, Matsuda – even though he doesn't always earn that respect with his behavior."
"But…" Matsuda said quietly. "Don't you think this whole situation is just too weird…? I mean… Light handcuffed to Ryuzaki… who suspects him to be Kira…"
"This is what Light wants, Matsuda", Soichiro Yagami said. "He wants to go after Kira with Ryuzaki and I respect his decisions even though I'm sometimes very strongly against them. Light is a clever boy. He knows what he does."
I sure hope so… Matsuda thought. "But, Chief…" he said again. "Aren't you worried about what kind of influence Ryuzaki might have on your son…? Because they're always being together with each other and Ryuzaki… Well… you know him… He is just odd… drastic and everything… He uses very strange methods with his investigations – like Misa-Misa for example… And Aizawa left because of what he did… I mean… it's easy for him to investigate with a fake name, hiding behind all these security systems. He has nothing to lose… But Aizawa had…"
"Aizawa left because he thought that was for the best", Soichiro Yagami said. "And I respect his decisions, as well. You are right, Matsuda. He has a family and that's why he left; to take care of his family. And what comes to Light and Ryuzaki always being together… I'm not worried about it, not at all. It appears that they've become very good friends in such a short time. Ryuzaki has put Light through a lot. But I'm glad that Light has found a friend who shares common interests and qualities with him. They make a good team."
Matsuda sighed and smiled a little insecurely. "Well… I guess you're right, Chief", he said. "Light has helped us and Ryuzaki a lot with this case. You must be very proud of your son."
"I am", Soichiro Yagami replied, smiling and thinking of Light with warmth. "No man could wish to have a better son than I have."
Matsuda, too, smiled but then he got serious again. "Chief…" he said. "I need to ask you not to tell Ryuzaki that I called him odd and everything… Please, don't tell him I did. I don't want to… insult anyone… And Ryuzaki… well… I have a feeling that he already dislikes me… And I wouldn't want to give him any reason to… dislike me even more…"
Soichiro Yagami's smile didn't fade when he looked at Matsuda. Yagami even uttered laughter. "Don't worry about it, Matsuda", he said warmly. "I know you two haven't gotten along so well with each other. I won't tell Ryuzaki what you said."
Matsuda sighed in relief. "Thank you, Chief."
Light's rosy cheeks were glowing bright red as he was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall and L in between his legs, kissing him. When L finally pulled back from the stunningly torrid kiss, Light was panting fast.
L cuddled him, pressing his lips on Light's neck again. Light's scent was like a drug to him. He just couldn't get enough of it. It made him feel so dizzy that he couldn't think of anything else but Light only. He rubbed his body against Light's and gave kisses on his neck and fondled the younger one's hair affectionately. Light hid his face in L's shirt and tried to stifle his moaning against it.
"Ryuzaki…" he panted into L's ear.
L took his lips away from Light's neck. "What… is the matter… Light-kun…?" L breathed against Light's lips.
Light stared L in the eyes. "I…" he panted. "We… We can't do this…"
L leaned back and wiped his mouth with his hand. He looked at Light and silently agreed with him – even though he would have wanted to continue making out with him. But the fact was that they really couldn't go any further. This timing was very inappropriate for that.
"I'm sorry, Light-kun…" he said. "I really didn't mean to…"
They kept looking at each other, not really knowing what to say. What had just happened… wasn't supposed to happen. Light gulped, trying to hide his blushing face. He couldn't believe that he had let this happen – again. And at a time like this…
"Light-kun… I never wanted to…" L said, not knowing how to finish his sentence. There were so many things he never intended to happen. But he needed to say something because Light was being awfully quiet… What if L had gone too far this time…? He was afraid of losing Light's friendship.
"Please… Let's just forget about all this…" Light said, still avoiding L's gaze. "This was a mistake… I apologize…"
L opened his mouth to say something. But he closed it soon after without saying a thing. He could come up with several reasons for that why it was so wrong for them to do stuff like this. At first: they were in the middle of Kira investigation and they hadn't time to even think of anything else. Second: none of the others – especially Soichiro Yagami – would have approved of that what they were doing. And those were just the two main reasons. There were plenty more.
L looked at Light, really wanting to hold him, just to hug him or something like that. Not necessarily to make out with him again… But just… hold him. But Light pushed him away and stood up, fetching his shirt, putting it back on and buttoning it back up. Then he froze to stand there on the floor, having his back turned on L who was still sitting on the floor.
L stared at Light's back, thinking that it was tough being with him. L just simply liked him too much. They were together all the time but yet still… L couldn't get enough of him. L didn't understand why everything had to be so difficult in human relationships. Why couldn't he and Light just be together and do things they wanted, without anyone interfering…?
"Ryuzaki…" Light said quietly, interrupting the deep silence. The tone of his voice sounded very serious. "Just… tell me something…" he said. "What exactlyis that what you want from me…?"
L was still sitting on the floor in the characteristic position of his. He hesitated a long time before replying to Light's question. Finally he asked: "Why do you mean by that, Light-kun…?"
Light bit his lip and took a deep breath. Ryuzaki was obviously playing stupid again… "You know what I mean", Light said to him, turning to look at the detective. "We're friends – or that's what you keep saying to me. But… you still think I'm Kira. It's just stupid… since… I'm not your enemy, Ryuzaki. I'm on your side! So what do you want from me? Just tell me… Why are you doing this to me…? You've been acting so strangely… Is this all just because you think I'm Kira…? Are you trying to confuse me or something? If so, you succeeded… Are you happy now?"
L stared at Light and studied the upset look in the brunette's eyes. He stood up so that their eyes would be closer to the same level.
"I'm not happy", he replied silently. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry…?" Light echoed. There was a skeptical tone in his voice. "For what?"
"For upsetting you", L replied. "I…" He hesitated a little. "I'm not acting the way I do to prove that you are Kira. I'm acting like this because I feel… a certain way about you, Light-kun. This thing isn't about you being Kira."
"A certain way…?" Light echoed. "What do you mean? And how could I ever be sure of that this isn't about me being Kira? When it comes to you, everything is about me being Kira." He kept a short pause. "Actually…" he then continued. There was a cold look in his eyes. "Isn't this just too weird in your opinion…? What happened a moment ago… I mean… You believe that I'm Kira and yet still you… act like that… I don't get it… Just what is that what you want from me…? Or from Kira more likely…?"
L walked to Light, having a strict expression on his pale face. "More than anything… I want to catch Kira", he said, staring Light in the eyes. "And that is the reason for you being here, handcuffed to me. But from Kira… I want nothing."
The two of them were staring each other in the eyes as if they had wanted to paralyze each other with their gazes.
"I know you might not believe a word of what I'm saying to you, Light-kun", L said without breaking the eye contact. "Yes, we are handcuffed together because I wanted to keep an eye on you because you might be Kira. It's very likely that you are and you do know that, Light-kun. But… after releasing you from the confinement you have been different… Almost like a completely different person… And recently… I have been able to think of you without seeing Kira in you all the time. And what I want from you… is that… I want to get to know you. I want to know the real Yagami Light. You. I want to know who you are."
Light's gaze softened a little. He blinked his eyes, being a little confused. What a complicated relationship they had, he and L… L believed that he was Kira and he, himself, just couldn't buy it. Of course he knew himself better than anyone. But L's theory was clever and Light couldn't really blame him for accusing him. But now… if L had started to think of Light without seeing Kira in him, their friendship could grow deeper. Before this Light had had to be careful with the things he did and said since everything he had done and said might have been something that Kira would have done. And although Light had admired L all this time, he hadn't really been able to trust him fully. He still couldn't… But at least they could now develop a new and better sense of trust between each other. Now that Kira didn't come in between them all the time…
"Ryuzaki…" Light said silently. "I hope that… you can forgive me… And… I also hope that… what happened a moment ago between us… doesn't change anything…"
"What do you mean, Light-kun?" L asked.
"I mean… We're still friends, right…?"
"Yes, of course we are."
Light sighed, being relieved. But he still needed to be sure of one thing.
"And…" he began, moving a little queasily. "I wish that we could just forget about all that happened just a moment ago…"
L looked at Light, really wanting to see him smiling instead of showing that worried and insecure face. L would have said yes to Light if it only had been enough to make him smile at him. But how could L have ever been able to forget about what had happened between the two of them…? He didn't even want to. And he didn't believe that Light would have been able just forget about everything either. But perhaps things would have been better now if it hadn't happened at all… L felt bad for all that had happened but he couldn't erase it. He touched Light's arm carefully with his hand.
L looked away. He couldn't deny his feelings – whatever they were. Something made him want to be close to Light… Light had become so important to him in such a short period of time. He didn't know if Light felt quite the same way about him but at least Light must had felt something for him, too… For example as far as L could recall it had been Light who had kissed him when they had kissed for the very first time.
But one thing was clear: no-one but Light only had ever made L feel this way.
"Ryuzaki, answer me", Light demanded, interrupting L's thoughts. Light gripped L's shoulders and shook him a little to draw the detective's attention to him. "The kiss… and all that happened… It… didn't mean anything to you, right…? Ryuzaki…?" he asked timidly.
L put his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "No, it didn't mean anything", he replied monotonously.
Light smiled a little, just a little. And he patted L's shoulder casually.
L was happy to see him smiling but he couldn't respond to the smile. This was all so sarcastic, ironic and bittersweet that it brought a bitter taste in L's mouth. They, Light and he, two geniuses, tried to fool themselves and each other into believing that their little make out session hadn't meant anything to either of them. But since they weren't allowed to have that kind of relationship, it was better that they both just tried to act like nothing had happened. Nothing at all.
Hi there again ~ ! (:
It's good to be back and I really hope you liked this chapter although it's pretty weird... I hope I don't repeat myself in this story too much... Because I've got a feeling that I do repeat myself a little... And I think it sometimes is a bad thing to keep repeating oneself... Story isn't good if it just keeps repeating itself and doesn't surprise anyone...
Anyway... it looks like L and Light have now come to a whole new level with their relationship. The original plan of mine was just to keep them as friends and just create the fun for this story with some little suggestive elements... But it appears that I couldn't help myself creating a real deeper relationship between the two of them... And I don't know whether the readers of this story are happy with that or not but this is how it has gone... So if you have any suggestions or ideas or questions or whatsoever... Then please tell me and perhaps I might use some of them in this story if they fit my plans (and there's a possibility that I might change my plans if that's needed... ;D ).
And once again it took me more time than expected to update this story and I'm really sorry for that. It wasn't my rush this time but just that I wasn't happy with the things I wrote and so I rewrote this chapter numerous times again... And I really hope you liked it.
Until the next update (Yay, it's the 20th! *party party*) ~ ! (: