Er, for those of you who have read my stuff before well, we are venturing away from vamps and Bella/Edward. I'm heading into the world of Slashy boy love...this is my first attempt at slash so please be gentle and seriously, if this isn't your cup of tea, don't read it cuz there will be lemons and trashy talk. Consider yourself thoroughly warned so don't flame me out like it was some big surprise when the boy love comes...snicker...Oh, I'm still not Steph Meyer...just a durty girl who loves Jasper and Edward. This story will be entirely from Jasper's POV unless Edward smacks me on the head and demands to be heard. I will do my best to update weekly. My other two fics are coming to a close so it should be relatively easy to stand by my schedule. Now that all that crap is out of the way let's start this story. Read On...
When the Night Comes
Something was buzzing in my ear.
"Shut the fuck up," I mumbled but the sound persisted.
"Answer your goddaman phone," someone muttered, elbowing me in my side.
I tried to get my eyes to open, but I was seriously hung over or maybe I was still drunk. I couldn't tell.
Christ I was sleeping on my phone. I peeled it off my face, squinting at the vibrating phone's screen. I didn't recognize the number, but it's not like I could see any of them clearly. They kept jumping around and jumbling together. It was making me a little fucking nauseous. I usually wouldn't answer but for some unknown reason, I felt like I needed to pick it up. It must have been all the fucking whiskey still in my system.
"Talk to me." My voice was raspy and thick with sleep. Maybe the person on the other line would realize it was fucking early and hang up.
Fuck, I didn't recognize the voice.
"Uh, yeah, who's asking?" I groaned.
"It's Alice, Alice Brandon."
My eyes shot open and I sat straight up. The pounding in my head was insane, but I was wide awake now and I definitely should not have answered the phone.
"Uh, what's up?" I asked, trying to sound like it was no big deal that an ex-girlfriend from five fucking years ago was calling me.
To say I was a little confused would be a gross understatement. Alice was a part of a past I kept safely tucked away under several pounds of chain and locks. And even though we had patched things up, I hadn't spoken with her since I left Forks. It had just been too fucking hard for me.
"Jasper, you need to come home," Alice said. "Your mother is sick."
"Alice if this is a fucking joke, I'm not laughing."
She sighed. "It's not a joke, Jasper. Rosalie asked me to track you down and I..." her voice cracked and I heard her sniffle. "Jasper, your mother's really sick."
The pain in her voice came over the phone loud and clear. Alice was not fucking with me. All the air expelled from my lungs and I felt sick to my stomach. "Mama?"
I heard Alice take a deep breath. "She's not expected to make it through the week and she's been asking for her golden boy."
"I ain't no golden boy," I snapped. How could my mother still believe that shit. I'd given up that title long ago when my world collapsed in on me.
"Jeezus, Jasper, I'm not going to argue with you. I need to know where you are so I can make a plane reservation. Your mother wants to see you and if I have to come find you and haul your sorry ass back here, I will, so don't fucking push me, boy," Alice shouted.
"Yes ma'am." I knew enough not to fuck with her when she was angry.
I heard her take a deep breath, mumbling something about forgiveness and promising Rosalie she wouldn't yell. "Okay, that's better. Where are you Jasper?"
"Um, I'm in Chicago."
"I'll make the arrangements and call you back when I have the flight time. Don't fuck this up Jasper. This isn't something you can take back," she warned.
I swallowed hard. "Is Rosalie okay?"
"She's doing the best she can under the circumstances. I have to get your reservations set up. I'll call you back in a few minutes."
I sighed and hung up the phone. "Jesus Christ."
I knew mama had been sick, I just didn't know how bad. No that I was a lie, I knew it was bad I just couldn't deal with it. Lately I subscribed to the theory that if I didn't think about things, they didn't exist. Great way to live your life, but it was how I survived.
I groaned as I pulled my weary body out of the bed. I wasn't exactly sure where I was or who I was with. It didn't fucking matter, I just needed to get the hell out of here. I looked over at the sleeping form. Hmm, long wavy red hair, soft curves. Well, I'll be damned, it was a woman, not my usual late night foray, but...huh, I couldn't remember how I got here. I couldn't even remember her name.
It had been another long night of partying, ending with me in some stranger's bed. My life was so fucked up and things were about to get a lot worse. I had to go back to a little pissant town in Washington called Forks where my mother was dying, my sister and her husband were going to kill me unless my ex-girlfriend got hold of me first. I didn't even want to think what she was going to do to me. My hand automatically covered my junk. Given the chance Alice would probably rip my balls off for being a dumb ass. All this shit was supposed to stay in the past. I didn't want to face the demons. They were better off buried deep in my closet.
"Where the fuck are my pants," I grumbled, groping around in the dark room. The body in the bed, rolled over and moaned. "Thanks for all your fucking help," I snapped.
I needed to get a grip. It was not the fault of this nameless woman that my life was so screwed up. After I found all my clothing, I let myself out of her apartment, stumbling down the stairs and swearing that I would never do this shit again. Unfortunately, I didn't even believe that statement.
When I stepped outside, the cold winter air almost knocked me over. I pulled the collar of my black jacket up and shoved my hands into my pockets, trying to preserve what little body warmth I had left. The wind coming off the lake was hellacious today. I surveyed the landscape, recognizing that I was walking distance from my apartment. Maybe things weren't as bad as they seemed. I was kidding myself if I truly believed that shit.
My cell phone beeped again when I was walking into my apartment. My roommate was sprawled out on the couch. James looked about as good as I felt. Vague memories of last night wound through my head. I remembered going to a bar with James and somehow ending up on stage, playing guitar and singing. I reached into my pocket and found a business card. Obviously the bar manager had been impressed enough to give me his card. I still had no recollection of how I ended up in bed with that woman or what her name was. Fuck.
James groaned when my phone beeped again.
I quickly answered it. "Yep."
"Do you have a pen and paper," Alice asked.
I stumbled into the kitchen, sitting down at the table, grabbing an envelope and a pencil.
"I do now. Go ahead."
Alice gave me all the flight information, making me read it back to her twice before she was satisfied that I had actually written it down. My flight was leaving tomorrow at 5:30 in the fucking morning. I don't think I would forget that time. Five thirty a.m. was not a time I was readily familiar with unless I was stumbling home from a kick-ass party and because the flight left at 5:30 I would have to be at the airport by 4:30, at the latest.
"I'm not going to lecture you Jasper, but I think it would be nice if you didn't show up drunk, fucked up or hungover."
Well, shit how did she know about my party habits...damn Rosalie.
"Thanks for the advice Alice. I'll take it under advisement. Do I need to rent a car or will someone be there to pick me up?"
"Emmett will be there," she answered stoically.
There was a very awkward silence. I wanted to ask for details about Mama but I didn't want to keep Alice on the phone any longer than I had to. She sounded like she was holding everything in and eventually her anger would come spilling out and I didn't feel up to being on the receiving end of an Alice freakout. If Rosalie and her had been discussing my current station in life, I'm sure I was in for a wild confrontation when I got back to Forks.
"Jasper, for what it's worth, I am really sorry about your mother."
I cleared my throat, hoping to get rid of a very large lump that seemed to be forming. I blinked a few times. I was working hard to hold the tears at bay. I wasn't a cry baby, for fucks sake.
"Uh, yeah, and Alice, thank you for being there. I'm sure Rosalie is glad she isn't alone. Lord knows she hasn't been able to depend on me this past few years."
"Truer words were never spoken, but you weren't always like this. What happened to you Jasper? You can't still be hung up on..."
I cut her off with a loud growl.
"Look Alice, I do appreciate everything you've done for my family, but I'm not discussing my personal problems. I'm a fucking asshole and I don't deserve the time of day from any of you. I really can't understand why Mama even wants to see me..." I choked on those words.
"Christ, Jasper, she's your mother. She would love you no matter what," Alice said forcefully.
"Yeah, I'll bet," I mumbled. My mama didn't know me anymore and I don't think she would be too happy or pleased with what her son had become.
"Just get here Jasper. Okay? Maybe we can find some time to talk," Alice said. "I have to go. It's time for your mother's pain meds."
"Uh, okay, bye." I hung up and laid my head on the table. "Fuck."
I heard a grunt from the living room. "Jaz, ya cocksucker, is that you?"
"Yeah man, quit fucking yelling. My head is pounding."
James came stumbling into the kitchen.
"I thought you was having a party in here. Guess you were just talking to yourself," he snorted and lit up a joint, handing it to me when he was through with his hit. I thought about not taking a drag for about two seconds, but I figured what the fuck. It wasn't like my life was going to get any better if I didn't take a pull off this joint and if I smoked enough maybe I would be able to sleep.
"Ya know Jaz, I don't really believe you were talking to yourself. Are ya gonna tell me who the hell was on the phone," James asked.
"A ghost from my fucking past," I muttered. "I gotta go home tomorrow."
"Ya mean back to Texas?"
"I wish...naw, back to Forks," I sighed. "My mama's sick and they don't think she's gonna get better. She wants to see me and for the life of me, I can't figure out why."
"Does she know what a sorry ass you've become," he asked as he handed me back the joint. There was no malice intended from him, it was simply the truth.
I sucked hard on the joint, holding the smoke in as long as possible. "I suppose she's figured it out, but she still believes I'm her golden boy. She still holds on to a thread of hope that I'll be happy."
"You can be pretty golden if ya want," James said. "You were fucking golden last night when you were cranking out those tunes on that guitar."
"Fuck, what the hell happened last night? I barely remember singing."
"Fuck if I know. We did a lot of shots of tequila or maybe it was whiskey. You sang some fucking heart wrenching song that made all the chicks throw their fucking panties at you. You disappeared with some bitch and I ended up alone," James said. "Story of my fucking life."
"Heart wrenching song?"
"That's about the only thing I can fucking remember. After you had a few shots rolling through your blood, you started going all melancholy on everyone, whining about someone who broke your fucking heart. Before I knew it, you were jumping up on stage and stealing some dude's guitar. Let's see if I can remember some of the lyrics...um, oh yeah, it was really a chick song, dude. You had them eating out of your hands or maybe they were sucking your dick. Seriously, you should really consider adding it to your play list.
He waggled his eyebrows at me. "I bet the pretty boys would love it. It even made me swoon a little."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. James did not swoon. He was a rugged, good looking guy with short blonde hair and piercing grey eyes. He did not lean toward the feminine side.
He took another drag off the joint and started humming, eventually launching into some of the words.
I hear words, in my sleep
Promises you made but never keep
Even in my dreams
I try to fight but I don't ever win.
I was gripping the edge of the table so hard, my fingers were turning white.
I shuddered, holding my hands up like I was surrendering. "Enough, James. How the fuck can you remember the song but nothing else from last night?"
What the hell was I doing singing that god awful song? I hadn't sang that damn song for five years.
"Hey ya played When the Night Comes too. You won't even let me have that on my fucking Ipod, ya bastard," he said.
"What the fuck. I must have been past drunk last night to be playing that shit," I groaned.
"Ya fucking sounded great though," he said.
I couldn't listen to this shit anymore.
"I gotta go pass out," I said, stumbling out of my chair. It was all too much. Mama's sick, Alice calling me, me singing that shit. My past was waking up and slapping me in the fucking face.
"When the Night Comes...fucking bastard," I growled under my breath.
"What ya mumbling about Jaz," James asked.
"Fucking demons," I muttered.
"Oh yeah, When the Night Comes..."
"Don't say it James. I don't want to think about that crap." I glared at him and put my hands over my ears.
"Sorry baby boy. I'm not gonna bring up that shit. You were the one who asked what happened last night. I'm just relaying what I remember and you singing those songs was part of last night," he sighed and focused on the wall.
"Sorry, I just don't know why the hell I would be singing that shit." I patted him on the shoulder. He closed his eyes and lolled his head to the side so his cheek was resting against my hand.
"So, ya want some company," James asked as he struggled to stand up. "Fuck it, too stoned. I can't even get out of the chair."
I laughed and dragged my sorry, stoned ass to my bedroom. I closed the shades, stripped down to my boxers, and burrowed under the blankets. I closed my eyes and the words from those stupid songs ran through my head. I wasn't stoned enough to handle those goddamn memories, so I pushed them away. They were not fucking welcome. I didn't want to remember. Thankfully, I passed the fuck out and sank into a weird dream filled with crappy visions of swirling copper and blazing green eyes... and...er, what the fuck?
A hazy, wet hot heat engulfed my body. I tried to open my eyes but the room swirled into a wild mess of colors. I couldn't decide if I was awake or dreaming, but since it felt so good I didn't give a damn.
"Mmmm." Someone moaned against my cock.
"Holy fuck," I shouted, sitting up in bed. I guess I wasn't dreaming after all when I looked down and saw a blond head bobbing up and down on my very hard dick. I groaned and flopped back down on the bed, letting my eyes roll to the back of my head. My hands gripped the sheets as I fought the urge to buck my hips up into his beautiful mouth.
His grey eyes searched out mine and when I looked at him, he smiled around my dick. He teased me by gripping my shaft harder and swirling his tongue around the dripping head of my dick.
"C'mon, fuck my mouth. I know ya wanna," James mumbled, still intently watching me.
I groaned and lifted my hips off the bed. James slid his hands under my ass, guiding my dick deeper into his mouth as he kept perfectly still. He winked and I started moving my hips, gently thrusting into his mouth. Fuck, I wasn't going to last much longer.
I felt James move his hand to my balls, rolling them through his fingers and then gently tugging on them. I grunted as I felt my muscles tensing and my balls tightening.
"J-J-Jamesss...gonna fucking cum," I warned. James pushed down on my hips, pinning me against the mattress. He flattened his tongue licking up the underside of my shaft before relaxing his throat and taking me all the way down until I felt the back of his throat. My release came fast and hard. James swallowed it all, sucking on me until the last of my spasms quit.
"Jesusfuckingchrist," I mumbled.
"Ya looked like ya needed a good suck off before ya face your demons," he said, grinning at me.
He crawled up next to me and placed a kiss on my cheek. I could feel his hard cock pressing up against my thigh. I reached down to help him out, but he scooted away from me.
"Naw, that was just for you, Jaz," he said as he stood up.
I let a long breath of air out. "Thanks, just put it on my tab," I said rolling over and going back to sleep.
The next time I woke it was around dinner time. I padded out to the kitchen to rummage around for some food. James left a note saying he was heading down to the bar and to call if I needed anything. James was a good guy. He had been my roommate for about a year. I guess you would categorize us as friends with benefits. We had tried to do the boyfriend thing, but it just didn't work. I didn't want anything serious and James understood after one drunken evening when I poured my guts out on the floor. He was a good listener and it felt nice to tell him the truth of why I was so fucking screwed up when it came to relationships.
I sighed and considered going to the bar, but Alice's warning shot into my head and my hand automatically cupped my balls. I was rather fond of the boys, so I decided it was a good decision to stay at home. I scrounged some food up and went to watch some TV. The Blackhawks were playing so I settled in to enjoy the game. After I ate, I dug around under the couch until my fingers came to rest on the edge of a cold metal tray.
I dragged it out and sitting in the middle of the tray were four sweet little joints. It was like he gift wrapped them for me. God, I fucking loved that guy.
"To you James," I said as I kissed the joint before lighting it up. Tomorrow at this time, I would be sitting in my grandmother's home saying goodbye to my mama. She was going to be so disappointed in me. I shouldn't go. She could remember me like I was, before my heart was shattered beyond repair and I ran screaming into the night.
I took another long hard drag, hoping the drug would make everything quit. I really didn't want to feel anything, but it didn't stop. I think the dope was making the memories come through in 3D at an Imax theater filled with dolby surround sound or whatever the fuck super sonic sound system they use now-a-days.
"Go away," I said to the ghost sitting by my shoulder. "I'm over you."
I sank down farther into the couch trying to hide from the memories. I glanced down at my lap, noticing my shirt riding up exposing the tattoo that sat just above my hip. I ran my finger over it, tracing the words I'm lost...
"I'm still lost, you son-of-a-bitch," I hissed. I didn't want to fucking remember that shit. No matter how hard I fought against it, it still hurt me. I clutched at my blond hair, tugging on it, hoping the pain would chase the demon ghost away, but I was out of luck tonight. The ghost grabbed my fucking hand and pulled me under, bringing me back to the start of my senior year at Forks fucking high school.
I thought I had banished that demon to the far recesses of my mind. Obviously, the asshole had escaped.
Goddammit, I really fucking hate that ghost.
Okay talk to me...let me know if there is any interest in this story or should I stick with Bella/Edward? Questions for me? Ask away! Oh and the songs that are driving Jasper to the brink are When the Night Comes and Whispered Words (Pretty Lies) both by Dan Auerbach (the lead singer of the Black Keys) I'll answer this question right away...I know these songs are not five years old...they just fit with the story so I'm invoking my creative license and pretending the songs fit in the time frame. Just review so I know if there is any interest in this story. I'm outta here...Drizl