I have the sickest ideas of pairings for DP slash...but whatever. This is Numbuh 2 on my List-o-Danny Phantom Slash. Enjoy your projectile vomiting, friends!
Danny woke up knowing that this was going to be a bad day.
First, he woke up late (an unfortunate side-effect to him going to bed late, courtesy of ghost-hunting). Then he was late for class. Then Skulker attacked, causing him to get in trouble when he was absent for the head-count. And that was just for the first half of the day. The second half was worse. He got caught in a food fight, had to recite lines from a play—VILLAIN lines—with his creepy new 'big boy' voice, got into a fight with Dash, and finally, found out that he flunked his math exam. As he was walking home—sporting a bruise on his cheek, an annoyed twitch in his left eye, and two Fs in his backpack—he found himself reflecting on his life thus far.
He was seventeen now, and he had a lot of things on his plate that a seventeen-year-old shouldn't have. For one, he was a half-ghost vigilante, with only five humans knowing his secret (well, four and a half, if you count the fruit loop); for another, since he turned fifteen, puberty had hit him like a five-alarm bitch. He shot up in height, he bulked up, due to ghost fighting, and worst of all, his voice changed, making him sound like his jerk older self from his alternate future—oh, THAT had been a wonderful day at school. If he wasn't being made fun of, he was getting frightened looks from both his friends and unsuspecting students of a lower constitution.
Vlad was still mayor and still making his life a living Hell. Valerie still hadn't gotten off of his back, though she had asked him out a few more times in the last three years. He always turned her down; he didn't need that kind of heartbreak if she found out who he really was. He tried dating Sam for awhile, but their first 'real' make-out session, he came to a discovery of two things—
One, kissing Sam turned out to be like kissing Jazz. Ew.
And two, kissing Sam—or any other girl for that matter—was doing nothing for him.
He had been fifteen.
And now two years later and a fuckload of therapy with Jazz, he was quite sure that he was either gay, or bisexual. THAT bit of information was more heavily-guarded than him being half-ghost. The only three people who knew were Jazz, Sam, and Tucker, and NO ONE ELSE. Sam had even stepped in to be his proxy 'girlfriend', and even though Danny didnt like the thought of using her like that, Sam insisted.
Yeah, he was a typical seventeen-year-old, probably bisexual-possibly gay-halfa.
Danny finally made it home and flunked hard on his bed, thanking every god he knew the names of that it was Friday.
After awhile, Danny went downstairs for a snack, and was met with the typical sight of his parents arguing over something.
"What's up?" he asked, pouring himself a glass of milk and reaching for the cookies. Damn it, if it was one thing he and his father had in common, it was the cookies.
"Your father is an IDIOT!" his mother shouted, pointing at his father. Danny took a sip of milk; this was nothing new.
"What'd he do?" he asked, dunking a cookie.
"He LOST his WEDDING band!" Maddie wailed. Danny arched a brow.
"Well..." his father said, "I MIGHT have...thrown it into the Ghost Portal..."
Danny spewed out his cookie. "WHAT!" he shouted. Damn, he thought, his father really WAS an idiot. "How did you manage to do THAT?"
"I really have no clue."
He was too young to start develping migraines, Danny thought. He massaged the bridge of his nose, willing the pain to go away. He had a feeling that his weekend was going to be spent fishing the ring out of the Ghost Zone. Downing the rest of his milk, he put the glass in the sink and snuck away from his still-arguing parents to the lab. The Fenton Portal was still open-'GOD, my dad's an idiot!'-so he transformed and flew inside. The quicker he found the stupid ring, the quicker he could get back to attempting to enjoy his weekend.
After a few hours, it was still a no-go. He had asked a few friendlier ghosts if they had seen the ring, but they hadnt. And Danny was about ready to let loose a Ghostly Wail in frustration when someone tapped his shoulder.
"Excuse me," said a ghost girl that didnt look much older than Youngblood. "I know who has your ring."
"Oh, thank God!" Danny said, about ready to cry with relief. "Where is it?" The little girl nibbled her lip and pointed to her left.
"...In the prison."
He wasnt sure, but Danny thought he started to cry.
Well, it was now or never. He just really hoped that Walker was in a good mood today. And anyway, he could always transform back into a human to get away... He summoned up his courage and walked up to the guard at the front gate. "Um...excuse me..." he said as politely as he could. "...Can I please get through to speak to Walker?"
...Five minutes later, he was cuffed, bound, and waiting in Walker's office. 'That went well,' he thought dryly to himself. The only reason why he hadnt transformed was because 1) he didnt want to piss of Walker, and 2) he really needed that ring back. So he waited patiently until the door opened and a not-in-a-good-mood Walker strolled in, his green eyes narrowing at the sight of Danny.
"Well," he said, his Southern droll sliding out smoothly, "the punk decides to turn himself in. Must be my lucky day."
"Um, actually, Sir," Danny contradicted as politely as possible, "I came to ask you for your help." Walker's eyes narrowed even more.
"YOU want MY help?" he asked, his voice sounding dangerously close to 'homicidal'. Danny gulped. "You cause a riot in my prison, make a break for it, ruin my perfect record, and NOW you want my HELP?"
"...Yes Sir?" Danny hoped he would be able to transform quickly enough, if need be. "Um...you see, my dad lost his wedding band down here, and...someone told me that you...confiscated it?"
Walker gave him a smirk. "Well, now that you mention it, I do recall seeing something like that not long ago," he replied, dangling the information in front of Danny like bait. "Unfortunately, that ring is mortal-world contraband. So you're outta luck."
"Oh, COME ON!" Danny shouted, really getting pissed right about now. "It's a stupid ring! My dad was an IDIOT for losing it, but it means a lot to my parents, and I need it back! Please, let me have it back!" Walker sat down on his desk and propped his legs up on the top, smirking at Danny and obviously taking pleasure in the halfa's distress.
"Sorry," he replied. "Rules are rules."
"ARRRRRRGH!" Danny hollered, two octaves away from a Ghostly Wail. "YOU AND YOUR STUPID RULES! REAL WORLD CONTRABAND IS AGAINST THE RULES! BREATHING IS AGAINST THE RULES! BEING A HALFA IS AGAINST THE RULES! NEXT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY THAT BEING GAY IS AGAINST THE STUPID RULES!"
"Well, if I said THAT were against the rules, I'd be a hypocrite, wouldnt I?" Walker replied offhandedly, then froze. Danny froze. Time froze. He was sure Clockwork was laughing. Walker put a hand to his face. "...Please tell me you did not just hear that."
Danny gaped at the prison warden in awe. "...You're gay?" he asked. Walker's green eyes flashed dangerously.
"Dont even start with me, punk...!"
"...Holy crap, you're GAY!"
"I WILL BEAT YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR AFTERLIFE IF YOU SAY ANYTHING!"
Danny was too stunned to even register the threat. After all the ghosts he had fought, he had YET to meet a gay one...well, Vlad didnt count, though he was sure that the billionaire was a ponce deep-down and was using his mother as a crutch for that, but STILL. Suddenly, the most evil thought he had ever conceived formed in his brain. It was so dastardly and diabolical, it would make Vlad faint from sheer horror, and make Dark Dan laugh with glee at the notion of having someone as evil as himself to call brother.
"How can you beat me if you cant even touch me?" Danny asked, transforming back into his human self. He stepped right out of the restraints and cuffs and up to Walker's desk, leaning over it with a dastardly grin. Walker actually looked nervous, but tried to hide it.
"If you think I'm going to let some punk ruin my hard-won reputation-!" he began.
"Yeah, yeah, incarceration, mutilation, blah, blah," Danny interrupted, waving the threat aside. "Let's just say, if I get my father's wedding band, I didnt hear jack about your...preferences..." He grinned. Walker looked physically ill.
"I cant just HAND you contraband!" he exclaimed. "That's against the rules!" Danny rolled his eyes.
"Always with the rules..." he griped. "Havent you ever heard the phrase, 'rules are made to be broken'?" Walker glared at him.
"Something I would expect a law-breaking punk to say," he quipped right back. "Rules were made to bring order to chaos." Danny smirked.
"Rules also inhibit what could be perfectly rational actions," he replied. "Such as...I dont know...finding and indulging in your OWN taste in human-or ghost-company..." His eyes flashed green. "Sounds to me that the rules make things unfair, if you ask me." Walker growled.
"Sometimes life and death arent fair, kid," he replied, though sounding a little put down by his own revelation. Danny thought for a moment, then smiled.
"I watched a movie once," he said, stepping through Walker's desk to stand closer to the warden, "that had a pretty good principle. 'The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules'..."
"Then that movie is a load of shit," Walker replied darkly.
"Actually, it won a 93% positive rating by critics, but let's not get into that." Danny took a step closer. "But as for things being 'fair'...the movie also said, 'the thing about chaos...it's FAIR'." Danny smiled at Walker, who was glaring at him like he wished he could set the halfa on fire. "Dont you ever get the urge to ignore the rules in favor of what YOU want?"
"Never," Walker said firmly.
"Funny, I would've thought otherwise," Danny replied. "No wonder you're so miserable...not only are you bound by your stupid rules, but you're also sexually deprived..." He blinked when Walker dove out of his chair and straight through him like an animal. He stepped back, noticing Walker's eyes practically fuming like an inferno.
"FINE!" Walker shouted, stalking over to a closet. He threw a few things about before tossing a familiar gold band at Danny, who caught it. "YOU HAVE YOUR DAMN RING, NOW GET OUT!" He pointed toward the door, then stalked back over to his desk and sat back down with almost enough force to break the chair.
Danny felt a twinge of guilt, but that little evil streak he had going was still holding strong. "How did it feel?" he asked. Walker glared up at him.
"What are you talkin' about?" he drawled out. Danny held up the ring.
"Breaking a rule."
Walker bared his teeth at the halfa. "I feel physically ill," he replied. Danny smirked again, putting the ring in his pocket. He wasnt done here yet; rather, this newly acquired evil side wasnt done here yet. He transformed into his ghost form and walked up to Walker's desk, putting both hands on it and leaning forward to be eye-level with the warden.
"They say that breaking a habit is hard in that beginning," he said. "But if you just keep working at it, that sick feeling goes away...I went through the same thing when I got off of my energy drink addiction last year...I was miserable..."
"Get out of here before I kill what's left of your human side," Walker hissed. Danny ignored him.
"How's about breaking another rule?" he asked. Walker glared at him.
"No," he replied. Danny gave him another smirk and phased right through the desk, coming to a stop literally between Walker's knees. The warden's eyes widened as he tried to scoot back.
"Dont act like you dont want to," Danny said. He leaned forward a little, grinning like a madman. "Besides...I have a confession to make..."
"What's that?" Walker asked, his hands clenching into the armrests. He was getting very uncomfortable with this situation-in many senses of the word.
"I wasnt going to tell anyone that you're gay, anyway," Danny said. Walker felt a twitch appear over his left brow.
"...What?" he said, feeling like he was about to strangle this punk.
"Why would I?" Danny asked, reaching forward to fondle Walker's tie. "I'd be incriminating myself too, if I said anything." It took Walker a moment to realize what the boy was saying.
"...What are you-?" He was cut off when Danny leaned forward and pressed his lips to his own.
The first thought that ran through his mind-'WHAT ABOUT THE RULES!'
The second thought-'What rules?'
In Danny's own mind: first thought-'What the FUCK am I DOING?'
The second-'Holy crap, I AM gay.'
After a few moments, Danny pulled away. He and Walker had a stare-off for a few moments before the warden almost gently pushed Danny away and fixed his tie. Danny looked put out by the gesture. Walker did not fail to notice.
"...Unless you werent aware, punk," he said, "I AM on the job." Danny brightened a little.
"When are you off?" he asked a little too enthusiastically. Walker gave him a glare.
"Sometime in the next century," he replied. Danny frowned.
"Around one, why?" He paused. "...Oh, Hell no."
"Why not?" Danny asked, stepping up again. "Face it-you need some off time." He began fumbling with Walker's tie again. "If only for an hour or two..."
"This is a PRISON, you ingrate!" Walker hissed. "NOT a brothel!"
"...You implying that I'm a whore?"
"Well, you're certainly acting like one," Walker shot back.
"...When was the last time you even got laid?"
"...I'm guessing...not since you died, huh?"
Walker's hands twitched like he was resisting the temptation to misuste them.
"...Is 'getting laid' against one of your rules?" Danny asked. Walker crossed his arms.
"No," he growled.
"Then what's the problem?"
"Oh, I dont know!" Walker shouted back. "My reputation being shattered? The fact that you're HOW old!"
"UNDERAGE! THAT'S a problem!"
"...The age of consent is seventeen," Danny replied. "And the only 'reputation' you have is being a hardass. And trust me-gay or not, NOTHING is going to change that. So if those are your two problems, then you have nothing to worry about."
Walker stared at him like he was crazy. "This is NOT happening," he growled. Danny leaned forward and nuzzled the warden's jaw. "And regardless of the...'problems'..." He tried to shift out of the halfa's way. "...There's the scandal should anyone find out!"
"Walker, I've kept the fact that I'm a half-ghost for three years and that I'm bisexual-or gay-for two. I think I can keep a relationship a secret, too."
"Who says that there's even going to BE a relationship, punk!" Walker demanded. "The only 'relationship' we can have is that of warden and prisoner!" His voice was firm, but his tone was weakening, Danny noticed. His evil side laughed manically.
"It's not against the rules," Danny said, "so it's not wrong."
Walker and Danny had a glare-off for a few moments before there was a knocking at Walker's office door. The warden had no idea that the halfa could make himself look presentable and put himself back into the cuffs and restraints in less then three seconds. Walker quickly fixed his tie and shouted out a loud "COME IN!"
It was one of his guards coming to tell him that they had captured Skulker again, and were wondering which block to put him on.
"D-Wing," Walker replied curtly. "Out." The guard wisely exited promptly. Danny transformed back to a human just to get out of the restraints, then shifted around where he stood.
"...I guess I'll be going then," he said, a little more sobered now that their 'moment' had been ruined. "See ya next time I get caught for BREATHING..." He turned to leave.
He turned in time to catch something thrown at him. He looked at it; it looked like a black leather police badge, only without the ID. He gave Walker a confused look.
"It's a pass to get you in without question," Walker replied. "If you let that fall into hands other than yours, or if you give it to someone else willingly, then that's a BIG violation of rules and I will not hesitate to find a way to keep you permanently in your ghost form so I can punish you to the full extent of my law."
Danny gaped at him for a moment, then tucked the badge down his suit. "Lunch break at one, right?"
"Right," Walker growled. "You better make this worth my time, punk." Danny's evil side flared up again with a grin.
"Ditto, old man."
Danny left the office laughing his quasi-evil head off.
I was originally going to make this a one-shot, but what the hey, I need two chapters for this.