Bleach Anatomy

Hi this fic was inspired by one episode of Greys Anatomy. I hope you like it...Me and my friend Sarah thought of it. This is an AU and some off the characters are OOC.

Byakuya, Renji, Ukitake, Shunsui, Rukia, Matsumoto, Gin and Unohana are all doctors at the SG Hospital.

If you watch Greys, see if you can guess who plays who?...It will be cool to see if anyone gets it right.

Please Enjoy. This is only a one-shot.

It was a bright and eerily day when Byakuya found something that wasn't right...Byakuya was sat on the side of a plush bath completely naked apart from the large book he was hold protectively in front of his package. There was a dark frown on his handsome face as he looked from the book to his penis and back again. He let out a loud sigh and was just about to recheck on the minor hope he was wrong when there was a knock at the door.

"Byakuya. You locked the door. I need to take a shower."

"Uh, uh, I'll be out in a minute Rukia."

"What are you doing in there?"

"It's private."

"Oh. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I get it. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, it's not that!"

"It's ok. Take your time."

"I am not doing what you think I'm doing."

"You know what, there's really no need to explain. I'll wait. You just...finish."

"No, I'm...I'm coming. I'm coming out."

Mean while in Shunsui and Ukitake's bedroom, Ukitake was sprawled out in the centre of the double bed, when the phone rang.

"You get it Ukitake" Shunsui said as he moaned and turned over.

Ukitake dragged himself out of bed and picked up the phone and was talking away to the person on the other end and then hung up.

"Oh, my God. Who is calling you at this hour?" Shunsui asked his lover

"It's a wrong number". Ukitake said as he kissed his lover and got out of the bed.

There was some noises coming from the hall so he got up and whet to look. Byakuya exits the bathroom to find Rukia outside the door with a big grin on her face.

"There's no reason to be ashamed Nii-sama. It's normal. Healthy even."

"Well I'm not ashamed cause I wasn't doing anything. I don't have to. I have a ..." Byakuya didn't finished his sentence just looked at Rukia.

"You have a?" Rukia asked trying to get the answer out of him

"I have none of your business" Byakuya said in a cold voice

"You know what? It's no big deal. You don't have to lie. I get it. You have needs." Rukia was now pushing it but, but Byakuya was still trying to remain calm.

Shunsui opens his bedroom door, the one that Rukia had been resting on.

"What is going on out here?" Shunsui asked

"Nothing." Byakuya said very fast

Rukia Starts to say something, but looks at Byakuya and his evil glare and changes her mind" Nothing"

Shunsui and Ukitake looked at each other then back at Rukia and Byakuya.

"Nothing." Byakuya said again

"He's freaked out cause I caught him playing with little Jimmy and the twins." Rukia said with a little smirk on her face.

"I have a ..." Byakuya gives all three off them a glare and walks down the hallway and slams the door to his room.

"Ok...Someone isn't happy" Rukia said as she goes to take a shower

"This sounds like fun out here." Shunsui said to Ukitake.

Shunsui's phone started to ring but he looks at it and doesn't pick it up. He just walks down the hall to and starts walking down the stairs.

"Aren't you gonna get that? It might be the hospital." Ukitake said

"It's not. What's for Breakfast?" He said back trying to change the subject.

At SG Hospital matsumoto was on the phone talking quietly, and looking around to see if anyone was there.

"No, look, I told you people I'm not coming for a counselling session. I know all my options. Yeah, uh, well I made my decision, and I made my appointment. I'll be there on the 16th." She said then hung up the phone.

Matsumoto was just looking over a Patients file when Gin walked over to her. He stops by her and also opened a file and starts to read, then after a few seconds he turned to look at her.

"I paged you last night." He said in a stern voice

"Oh, I wasn't on call."

"That's not why I paged you. You could give me your home number so i wouldn't have to page you all the time"

"Um, Gin...Uh, I gotta go." Matsumoto put on a fake smile and walked off past the seating area, where Byakuya and Isane where sat talking.

"I had a really good time the other night, Byakuya"

"Yeah, me too Isane, Are you, uh, feeling ok and everything?" Byakuya asked shyly

"I'm good. Great, Why did you want to speak to me?"

"Oh, no reason. I'm good too, you know? Really good. You know. But, um, a little itchy." Byakuya says trying to hint, what he was on about, but Isane wasn't getting any of it.

Rukia was walking back from doing rounds when she saw her Nii-sama and Isane talking and went to say 'hi'"

"Hello Nii-sama"

"Hello Rukia"

"Isane" Rukia said and nodded

"Hi, Dr. Kuchiki. I will be late for something I'll see you later." Isane said as she ran off.

"Ok, Bye... Yeah. She's into me." Byakuya said

"Way to go, Nii-sama. She's cute. So this morning you really weren't..." Rukia balled her first and moved it in an up and down motion.

" NO..Anytime you want to apologize"

"Then what were you doing in the bathroom for so long?"

"I have to go." Byakuya said and walked away, heading to the locker room.

Byakuya enters the locker room and see Renji fixing his hair and looking at himself in the mirror. Byakuya checks around to see if anyone else is in there.

"Um..."

"I know I'm pretty to look at and all, Byakuya but back up."

"I need to ask you something."

"I'm waiting."

"I seem to be having this skin thing going on, like a rash, really. And I think I know what it is, but I can't get close enough to tell for sure."

"Let's see it." Renji asked

"It's kinda located in an, um, you know, private..." Byakuya said tilting his head to one side to hide the blush.

"You're a doctor, Byakuya. It's called a penis. You have a rash on your penis?"

"I think I can describe it. Um, it's ...red."

"Look, just come on. Just show me you're junk so we can get this over with." Renji said pointing at Byakuya private area.

Byakuya looks around again and then slowly unties and opens his scrub, showing Renji his man-hood. Renji gets on his knees and looks at it he starts to pull grimacing faces.

"So?" Byakuya said to Renji waiting for his answer.

"Dude, you've got syphilis." Renji said getting up from his knees patting Byakuya on the shoulder and walks out of the locker room. Byakuya steps closer to the mirror and looks at his rash.

"ARRR" He moans as he pulls his pants back up and walks out of the room.

At lunch Byakuya was sat on eating all alone until Renji came and sat next to him.

"I gotta say, Byakuya, I didn't think you had it in you. It's always the quiet ones. So who's the woman?" Renji asks as he takes a bite out of his sandwich.

"None of your business."

"Oh, come on. Who gave you the cooties on the playground?"

"You must have had something like this before, right?" Byakuya asks Renji

"I never talk about my penis with other men." Renji said and carries on eating.

"I don't either,... normally."

The two males had finished their lunch and where about to go give Dr. Gin some paperwork when they walked in to Isane in the stairwell.

"Hi, Byakuya."

"Isane"

"What am I, invisible?"

"Renji"

"You go ahead. I'll catch up with you later."

Renji leaves and Isane leans in to kiss Byakuya, the kiss isn't hard or long but sweet.

"About time I got you alone today." She kisses him again

"Isane..."

"What time is your shift done?"

"Isane..."

"Because mine's over at 8, and I thought maybe you could come over."

"Isane! I need to tell you something."

"What's wrong Byakuya? Are you breaking up with me?"

"What? No. Oh, no. Really, no. It's just...Ok, you're the only person that I've been with in a long time. I mean, not unusually long or anything, you know? Just a normal amount of long time. But it wouldn't matter to me if you've been with someone else. Maybe you have? I'm not accusing you of anything or, you know, judging you or handing out scarlet letters or anything, you know? It's...you're a woman, you know? A very attractive woman. Of course you've been with other men. Not that you've been with a lot of men, it's not like you're a prostitute...

"A prostitute?" Isane gives Byakuya a evil look as he trying to fix what he has just said.

"No! Not a...not a prostitute. What...? No, the opposite of a prostitute, a lady. You're very ladylike. I mean, you're very bendy, but..." Byakuya now panting hard trying to say the right things but only the wrong things would come out.

"Byakuya, breathe."

"Ok. It's just...ok, here's the thing. I really like you, Isane. I like you a lot."

"Well, I like you too." She kissed him again, only to be pushed away.

"I have syphilis." Byakuya says

Isane looks at him and then without saying anything runs off

"That could have gone better." Byakuya says to himself and goes off to find Renji and Gin.

It was break time the hospital was slow today and some of the doctors where talking in the picnic area. Byakuyawalks through the outdoor picnic area with Renji.

"Do you think she's talking about me?" He asked Renji

"She's absolutely talking about you. Dude, that's a good thing. They walk past Isane's table.

"No, no it's not."

Byakuya, get a clue. Syphilis is the best thing that ever happened to you. In their eyes, you're a player."

They sit down at a table with Matsumoto and Rukia. Rukia is feeling Matsumoto's forehead

"Hey, syph-boy."

"You told her?"

"Just Matsumoto."

"'Syph-boy.' It's got a nice ring to it, it's kinda like Superboy, only diseased." Renji said and started to laugh.

"Renji didn't have to say a word. Around here, the only thing that spreads faster than disease is gossip."

"That's not true. Just cause Renji can't keep his mouth shut doesn't mean everyone knows."

Ukitake comes around the corner and see them all around a table. He walks up to them and sits down next to Byakuya.

"Hey, Byakuya. How are you feeling? Sorry about the syphilis."

"Everyone in this hospital knows?" Byakuya moaned and let his head fall to the table.

"Knows you're a player." Renji said

"You're disturbed Renji."

"True. Everybody's got a secret. Just be glad yours is out in the open."

"Oh, yeah, Renji? What's yours?" Matsumoto asks

"You show me yours, and I'll show you mine." Renji smirked to matsumoto but she was to busy looking at Gin as he walks by.

"I bet you've got some seriously kinky skeletons in your closet."

"What's in my closet is none of your business."

"Well, I don't have any secrets. My life is boring." Rukia says

"Everybody's got something to hide." Ukitake said and everyone starts at him.

Later on that day Renji had agreed to give Byakuya a shot of Penicillin to cure his problem. All though Byakuya was a popular handsome doctor in SGH Renji still didn't want to see his stuff.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"It's a shot of penicillin, Byakuya. Be grateful I'm even doing this. I've already seen more of you than I ever wanted to. I'll be fighting nightmares for a week."

"Ok, you know what? Forget this."

"Do you want to get rid of the syph or not? Just shut up and drop 'em."

Byakuya pulls down his pants and bends over the table, giving Renji full view of his behind.

"I cannot believe this." Byakuya moans. Renji grins and strokes his butt.

"Hey, what you doing?"

"Oh chill syph-boy" Renji said now getting the needle ready

Ukitake was walking past and heard Renji and Byakuya's voice so he went to go look.

"Ukitake, go away!"

"Oh, Byakuya. Thought you could use some moral support."

"NO! No, moral support. I'm indisposed here." Byakuya moans as Ukitake walks behind him.

"Byakuya, it's not a big deal. And you have a cute butt."

"I have a cute butt too. You want to see?" Renji flirts.

"Oh, get out. You're doing it wrong."

"Be my guest." Renji gives Ukitake the needle.

"What...? Renji. Renji. Wait..." Renji walks out and Rukia comes in she has a grin on her face and she also walks behind Byakuya.

"Hey!"

"What are we doing here?"

"Breaking Byakuya's spirit." Byakuya moans

"Curing Byakuya's syph." Ukitake says as he jabs Byakuya left but cheek with a needle

"I don't like needles."

"Good thing you became a doctor. Other side."

Matsumoto starts yelling from in the hallway to try and find where Rukia was.

"Rukia?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh, what are we doing?" Matsumoto asks as he eyes sparkly with joy at the sight of Byakuya bent over a table with his pants down.

"We are saving Nii-sama from a future of festering sores and insanity."

"Oh, cute butt Byakuya."

"Told ya."

"It is cute, like a baby's." Rukia adds

Ukitake finished and tapped Byakuya butt, Byakuya frowned and pulled up his pants. He storms off

"I think he's gonna cry." Matsumoto said and they all laughed

It was 10:00 at night and all the first year doctors were clocking off. Byakuya, Renji, Matsumoto, Ukitake and Rukia were in the locker room when Isane walked in. She walks to where Byakuya is sat and looks at him.

"Um, about before..."

"Byakuya, I want you to understand, when we started dating, I was already kind of seeing someone. I didn't know how much I'd like you, and when I realized, I broke it off with the other guy... "

"Other guy? Who's the other guy?" Isanelooks up and Byakuya turns around to see Renji standing there

"You and Renji? You and Renji?" Byakuya Screamed and Tacked Renji to the floor and punches him."You gave me syphilis?"

"Byakuya! Byakuya! back off!" Rukia, Matsumoto and Ukitake shout. They pull Byakuya of Renji.

"Renji" Ukitake said

"Byakuya" Matsumoto said

"Back off, Renji." Rukia said from standing in-between them. Renji slams his locker shut and storms out of the locker room and they all look at Byakuya. Rukia and Matsumoto walk Byakuya back to the car to make sure he dose kill Renji.

Ukitake met up with Shunsui outside. Shunsui helps Ukitake with his coat and the turn to leave, But a stunning long black haired woman is standing there and Shunsui is wide eyed.

"Ukitake, I am so sorry." Shunsui says as the woman walks over.

"Unohana, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my phone calls." Unohana looks to Ukitake and says.

"Hi. I'm Unohana" Unohana holds out her hand and Ukitake shakes it.

"And you must be the man who's been screwing my husband." She says to Ukitake. Ukitake looks at Unohana then at Shunsui.