EMILY: Hello, everyone! Damn, it really has been along time, and can I just say you all look lovely today? *eh-hem* Okay, okay, I'll cut the crap; it's been ages since I've posted anything on here. I know. That's not to say I haven't been around, as I swear I've read through every review and message despite whether or not I ever got back to you and I just want to thank all of you for your love and support and allegiance to my ever-expanding empire.
NICOLE: *elbows Emily*
EMILY: Right. So I guess what I really wanted to fill you in on was the rumor of a Twilight: Truth or Dare: Season 2. And to be brutally honest, as much fun as I had writing this series, I just don't know if I could make myself write a whole new series (nor do I think the Twilight cast would appreciate it very much, not that that's ever stopped me before). I'll admit, the fanmail was great, and I'd hate to sound like a hippogriff-
EMILY: -but I was never really a big fan of Twilight in the first place. *sudden fear for her own safety* Please don't hate me for this – I have nothing against the series and I did read all the books, honest! But yeah, I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Nicole refused to let me sit around guiltily leaving the possibility of a second season out there with no intention to write one.
NICOLE: This is what you get for being lazy.
EMILY: I am not lazy!
NICOLE: Then where's that seventh Harry Potter script you've been 'working on' since the Part One came out?
EMILY: …I've got dirt on you too, y'know.
EDWARD: *raises hand* Question. If you aren't going to write a second season… then why are we all still here?
JACOB: What do you mean, false? What kind of answer is that?
EMILY: *points TOD towards the frustrated Twilight cast* I will use this.
SETH: *most winning smile towards the camera* Thanks for tuning in after such a long absence! I – as well as probably anyone else – can't say for sure whatever it is on the director's mind, and for all we know there might actually be a Season 2 sometime in the far-off future, but for now I want to thank you all for sticking with us for all this time and I have been happy to serve as your one and only Padawan of the Twilight series. Also, if ever Stephanie Meyers finds these, do us all a favor and RUN. That is all. *cuts to a black screen as the sound of tazers being fired can be heard in the background*