Author's note: Hey people! I know, I know, how can I start a new story when I didn't finish the other one, right? But I'll manage to write both of them, I hope) Anyway, to start this story has been in my mind forever! So… Please review and tell me what you think? Ps: I don't own anything, Harry Potter belongs to JKR!
DECEMBER 10, 1996
"Sarah?" Natalie said, coming closer to my bed "Honey, I'm beginning to worry. Everyone is."
I didn't even raise my head, I just stared into the space.
"Is there a problem, or-?" she couldn't finish the sentence and I let out a tiny laugh.
She gulped and tried again "Sar-"
"Leave me alone." My voice sounded weird
"I said leave me alone!"
She startled and jumped on her feet. Anyone else would be already running towards the nearest exit but she had been with me since we were children. Before I turned into the person I was now. She was the only person who knew the real me. The only person I could trust right now.
"You can't go on like this, people will begin to suspect."
For once in my life, I didn't care. Let them suspect. Let them find out, let them come to lynch me. I couldn't care less. Maybe that way, I'd feel something.
I wondered, had he kissed her the same way he kissed me? Had he looked at her the same way he looked at me? Those emerald green flames burning inside of his eyes?
"I'll make you feel something." He had said "I'll do it, I swear to God."
My lips curled slightly. Congratulations Harry. You succeeded..
"Do you want me to owl your parents?" she asked and I shook my head.
"I will be alright."I said after one minute and she turned her head to look at me. She seemed relieved for I had talked, finally.
"I'm Sarah Helen Beckingham." I reminded to myself, now sitting up straight. "No one can upset me. No one is worth it."
"Of course.." she murmured and I stood up, walked towards the full length mirror. I stopped and looked into the mirror. My dark brown hair looked messy as it had never been and my hazel eyes were red and puffy. My jaw clenched and I held my head up.
"I need no one." I repeated the words,which were burned into my brain for years, now with a stronger voice "I need no one else but myself."
I looked at Natalie's reflection from mirror. Her beautiful dark brown eyes, which I was used to look at me with admiration, were now looking at me with an another feeling. But the light inside of them was still the same, pure, naive…
If anyone could be naive in my world.
I could see the look inside of my eyes was coming back, my expression was changing. That familiar fire was replacing the pain. That never giving up ambition. Rage. Desire. That burning, unstoppable ferocity.
I turned around and she involuntarily took a step back.
I knew what the news would be in my common room minutes later.. In fact, all people inside of Hogwarts would be talking about one thing; Sarah Beckingham was back.
And of course, our new golden couple would hear it too. Well, good. It was my turn to hurt him now, he had right to know what was coming to hit them..
I'm strong. I whispered to myself silently I'm stronger than everyone.
"Get out of the room." I said and she went out without making me repeat it. I wiped the tears trying to escape from my eyes and brushed my hair off my face
"Crying is something that weaks do" my mom would say "And you're not weak."
No, I wasn't weak. I would always survive, no matter what. I would always fight back, always walk away to my own path, never care anyone else. No one was worth to my second glance.
I clenched my teeth and tried a convincing smile, looking into the mirror. The girl inside of it looked at me mockingly and wore a smug smile.
Now I was sure. If I could smile even when my heart was aching this bad, even when I felt like crying, yelling until I couldn't find my voice anymore, I was neither weak.
Nor free. I had created my own cage.
I took a deep breath
I'm happy. I'm flawless. I'm perfect.
It doesn't matter though. I know what I have to do.
"If you can't do it, fake it".
It's the rule of the world I was born into. The world that you can't lose your innocence.
Because you have to have it first.
"Goodbye Miss In Love.." I murmured "Welcome back, Ice Queen."