Seven Minutes in Heaven
Quinn's eyes went wide with the surprise of it, but they fluttered closed in short order and soon she and Rachel were kissing expertly.
"Finally," Santana grumbled, and Finn shot a glare at her.
All attention went back to the kissing girls when a little moan was heard, and it was soon evident that tongues had become involved. Quinn's hands hovered by Rachel's neck, but when the latter dove in more aggressively, pressing her back against the couch, they started to travel down her shoulders and sides. Finn cleared his throat when they'd been making out long enough to fulfill the dare.
"Okay…" he said quietly.
"Shh," Puck hissed, waving a hand at him to shut him up.
A few eyebrows shot up when Rachel pulled back long enough to attack Quinn's mouth from the other side and Quinn's hands started stroking at her ribs, just beneath her breasts. Rachel's hands stayed up at Quinn's neck, fisting in her hair and keeping her in place, though it was quite obvious to everyone else that she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
"It's like watching free porn," Santana commented.
"Except we know the actors," Artie replied, frowning. "Does anyone else find this a little disturbing?"
Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt nodded.
"Glad it's not just me."
Brittany tapped Quinn on the shoulder. "Q, Rachel's kissing you!" she said excitedly.
One hazel eye opened and Quinn detached a hand to give her a thumbs-up, and then went back to business.
"Is it good?" Brittany asked after a moment.
Santana patted her thigh. "I don't think she can answer you right now, B."
"Oh." She tapped Quinn again. "You can tell me after."
Quinn just gave her another thumbs-up. Rachel seemed completely unaware that anything was going on outside of Quinn's mouth.
"Okay, I think that's enough," Finn said uncomfortably. "You guys can stop now."
"Shut up, dude," Puck snapped. "You're ruining it."
"That's my girlfriend!"
"I don't think she is anymore," Mike said, shaking his head.
"Particularly considering how much saliva they've exchanged in the past few minutes," Kurt agreed.
Finn gaped at him.
"Quick, somebody go get the cooking oil!" Puck exclaimed. "We can pour it on them and—"
"Ugh, would you all shut up?" Rachel suddenly snarled, glaring them down. "I do not appreciate distractions when I am trying to—"
"Trying to what, Rachel?" Finn asked sharply, tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair.
She froze, turning several different shades of red while she tried to answer. The rest of them quickly got bored with the stare-down.
"Rachel's a very good kisser," Brittany told Santana sagely. "Quinn can't stop smiling now."
Santana nodded. "I see that. Be careful your face doesn't get stuck that way, Q."
Quinn wiped her mouth, but that smile was not going anywhere. Rachel looked at her and stroked Quinn's hair back into place, blushing fiercely.
"Sorry for violating you," she muttered, and Santana groaned. "And thank you for not hitting me."
"Okay, Berry, that's it," she barked. "You are clearly an idiot when it comes to this, so let me break down for you what the rest of us have gotten since How Much Do You Know About." Rachel stared. "Quinn. Wants. To f—"
"Santana!" Tina yelped.
"San!" Quinn snapped. "What the hell?"
"What? You didn't have the balls to say it yourself," she retorted. "And I'm sick of you two making googly eyes at each other. It's disgusting."
Quinn glowered at her. Rachel was gaping at Santana, who arched a brow back. And Finn glared some more.
"I think you broke her," Brittany whispered. Santana shrugged.
"Who's up for Seven Minutes in Heaven?" Rachel asked abruptly, moving to sit next to Quinn. "We can use the coat closet."
"I am definitely up—" Puck paused, leering "—for that."
There was a collective eye-roll. Except for Quinn, who was trying to fight off a smirk. And Kurt, who was frantically smoothing his hair back down.
"Uh, Rach, you don't think we need to talk about what just happened here?" Finn asked, gesturing with an expression of disgust.
"About Quinn and I participating in a dare? Not particularly."
"But you just—"
"If you have something to say to me, then you can say it if we're paired up for Seven Minutes in Heaven. I know I plan to."
The rest of them grinned, and let out a joint, 'oooh.'
"Burn," Matt said, grinning.
"Well? The notebook and pen from the first game is still down here. Everyone write your name on a slip of paper, and we can stick them in the popcorn bowl," Rachel ordered.
Mercedes grabbed it first, tearing out a slip and folding her name up. They passed it around until all the slips were gathered, and then Rachel started stirring the names in the bowl. With her left hand, since she was currently wheedling her right into Quinn's.
"Hey, hold up. Does anyone have a stopwatch?" Matt asked.
"I have one built into my watch," Artie said.
"Dude…your watch has one built in, too," Mike pointed out, showing him.
"Oh, dude! Sweet!"
"Who's going first?" Rachel asked.
"I thought it was tradition for the host or hostess to draw the first name," Kurt said.
"Well, it's my party, so I can ignore tradition if I want. Who's. Going. First?"
"How about we go alphabetically?" Mercedes suggested.
"By first or last name?" Tina asked.
They all glanced at Brittany, who smiled obliviously.
"First," Rachel said. "Here you go, Artie." She held out the bowl to him.
"What if you draw your own name?" Puck asked.
"That shouldn't be a problem for you," Santana replied.
He glared at her.
"You just put it back in and try again," Mercedes said, trying not to grin.
"Uh…I got Puck," Artie said, looking a little green.
There were snickers around the room.
"Dude, that's sick. I'm not doing that," Puck said stubbornly, shaking his head.
"Noah, you don't actually have to do anything sexual," Rachel soothed, shaking her head. "That's why it's anything you want in a closet for seven minutes, just so long as there's physical contact."
"Do we have blindfolds?" Kurt asked.
"Yes. Finn, would you mind looking in my dresser, second row of drawers, first one? There are some scarves in there that should do."
He glared at her.
"What?" She huffed. "Fine, I'll ask Matt to do it."
"Why can't you do it?" Finn grumbled.
"Because I am holding the name slash popcorn bowl," she snapped.
"And Quinn's hand," Brittany added, nodding.
"Right. And I can't just abandon the bowl. You might cheat while I'm gone. Now, Matt, could you please get those scarves for me?"
Quinn smirked and Matt hurried up the stairs.
"In you go, sirs," Kurt said, giving Puck a last shove.
The girls cat-called and Puck scowled.
"Don't have too much fun in there."
They shut the door, and Santana and Brittany whispered, likely concocting a plan to get each other when their turns came around. Mike reluctantly participated in a makeover for Tina when Finn refused to do anything but glare at Quinn and Rachel, who were just innocently sitting there, waiting for the seven minutes to be up.
Although there may have been heated glances. And more hand-holding, too.
At five minutes, Kurt was getting impatient. Mercedes made him wait, and they all counted down the seconds. When they whipped open the door, Puck and Artie were having a thumb war, which sent everyone into gales of laughter.
"Okay, Brittany, you pick next," Rachel said when they'd all settled down.
"Dude, that was boring. When I pick, I am getting a chick," Puck said resolutely.
"Santana!" Brittany squealed.
"Hey! How did you manage that?" he demanded, outraged. "They cheated!"
"We didn't cheat. We're just lucky," Santana replied, grinning as Mercedes tied on her blindfold.
"I was holding the bowl the entire time, Noah. They couldn't have cheated," Rachel assured him.
"Right. Cause it's not like you weren't too busy making moon eyes at Blondie to notice anything else," he grumped.
She rolled her eyes. Santana and Brittany curled pinkies, and Kurt shut the door, and Matt and Artie proceeded to fight over whose watch they should use. Puck watched that, since he refused to lower himself to participating in a makeover.
Kurt got impatient after a total of six minutes this time, and knocked on the door when Mercedes failed to make him sit down again.
"Are you ladies ready yet?" he called.
"Just a—" there was a squeak.
"Go away, Hummel!" Santana snarled. "I'm working here! And I've still got forty-three seconds!"
He blinked and shook his head. "I don't want to know."
Quinn shifted a little closer to Rachel, and they once again counted down the seconds (on Artie's watch, since it turned out Matt's wasn't Swiss…). Brittany was flushed, but smiling, when they came out, and Santana grinned with self-satisfaction as they plopped on the couch.
"All right then. Finn? Your turn," Rachel said stiffly.
He huffed and heaved out of his chair to shuffle through the names, unfolded his paper, and promptly went pale.
Kurt grinned. "Excellent!"
He high-fived Mercedes before Artie blindfolded him and Finn sputtered.
"We…we don't have to…. How about a new game?" he offered, swatting Puck away when he tried to blindfold him.
"Dude, don't be a pansy. I sucked it up," he said, shaking his head.
"What if I draw again?" he asked, panicking.
"You have to go in with who you drew the first time. Those are the rules," Rachel said firmly.
He gulped as Puck steered him toward the closet, where Kurt was already waiting.
Mercedes opened the door when the seven minutes had passed, and they found Finn with his hand on a scowling Kurt's shoulder.
She chuckled. "Time's up, guys."
"Thank God! Finn, you are a horrible conversationalist," Kurt snapped, whipping off his blindfold as he came out.
"So, how's it feel to come out of the closet, dude?" Puck asked, clapping Finn on the shoulder.
"Anyone not expecting that joke, raise your hand," Santana said, rolling her eyes.
No one did. Finn scowled at Puck before plopping into his chair again.
"So. What did you guys do while we were in there?" Finn demanded, glowering at Quinn and Rachel.
"We played I Spy," Tina said cheerfully.
"Most boring game of all time," Matt said, sighing.
"We could've played the strip version, but no," Puck growled. "You guys had to be boring. Again."
"I still don't understand how the strip version works," Artie commented.
"It's easy. You just—"
"Kurt, you get to draw next," Rachel reminded him.
He closed his eyes and reached in. "Please let it be a not boring person," he repeated over and over, then plucked the slip out. "Oh…Quinn."
She huffed. "Fine. I'll get up."
"Don't be boring."
"I'll try my best."
"Have fun," Rachel said cheerfully, guiding her to the closet.
Quinn grinned, and then Mercedes shut the door.
"What did you guys do?" Tina asked curiously.
"Kurt tried to attack me," Quinn said sourly, sitting next to Rachel again, who stroked her arm soothingly.
"He tried to what?" Puck demanded.
"I did not! She's just upset because I gave her a few styling tips she didn't appreciate!" Kurt said defensively. "Besides, she's the one who attacked. She stepped on my toe." Mercedes patted him.
Rachel giggled and Quinn replied haughtily, "I warned you to shut up."
"I didn't know you were going to get violent if I didn't!"
"See, that's your problem, Hummel. You never listen. I clearly said, 'Dear God, man, if you don't shut up, I will castrate you.' And I was a lot nicer than that."
"Not by much," he whimpered.
"Well, I'll admit I was actually aiming for your shin, but I couldn't see, so I settled."
Santana nodded approvingly, and Finn glared when Rachel linked their arms and Quinn smiled at her.
"Okay, I believe Matt is up next."
He tried Kurt's technique and closed his eyes while repeating, "Please be a girl." It worked; he grinned with triumph when he read, "Tina!"
"Hey!" Artie exclaimed. "Okay, I think we need to establish a new rule."
"But we're already playing. Shouldn't our rules have been developed beforehand?" Rachel asked, frowning.
"That's easy for you to say. Quinn went in with a gay guy. You had nothing to worry about," he muttered.
"Hel-lo!" Finn yelled.
Artie blinked. "Hi?"
"Can we please acknowledge that I am the one dating Rachel here?" he snapped, folding his arms.
There was a pause.
"No," Puck said.
"It's more fun this way," Mercedes agreed.
"Your veins stick out," Kurt added.
"And you turn all red," Brittany said.
"And it's generally hilarious," Santana concluded.
"Your impotent rage has always been pretty amusing," Tina said softly.
Finn gaped indignantly; Quinn smirked at him.
"Where are we on the new rule thing?" Artie asked.
"Okay, okay. New Seven Minutes in Heaven Rule," Rachel announced, sitting up. "If you draw someone who is already taken, all activities in the closet must be restricted to above the neck or hands-only, and any kissing must be limited to first base. Is that good enough, Artie?"
He grumbled his assent and Matt sighed.
"You ready, girl?" he asked Tina, who nodded shyly.
"Why couldn't we have instated that rule during Truth or Dare?" Finn mumbled.
"Dude, what are you complaining about?" Puck demanded. "You got to see a lesbian kiss, man. And you'll probably get to see more, if things go right over there."
"Now, Noah, Finn does have a point. We should respect his status as my boyfriend," Rachel said, and Finn nodded.
"Thank you, Rachel."
Quinn frowned, but Rachel patted her shoulder comfortingly and she was (at least for the moment) placated. They all cat-called and wolf-whistled at Matt and Tina while they were shoved into the closet.
"You guys stole the thumb war idea!" Puck exclaimed.
Tina lifted her blindfold. "Well, we were going to go with I Spy, but it turns out that game is really hard to play when you can't see."
Everyone laughed, and Tina blushed.
"All right, Mercedes, you're up," Rachel said, stirring up the names a bit more.
She dug in and whipped out a slip, then smiled. "Mike."
"Sweet!" He grinned at her. "You know, if we make out, I'd only have three of the girls left."
She rolled her eyes. "You wish, big boy."
The rest of them laughed.
"Burn," Matt commented.
"Besides, I believe we've just instated a new rule about taken people, and my heart will always belong to Sean Patrick Thomas." She shared a grin with Kurt. "That boy can move."
Kurt nodded in agreement and Mike gasped, offended.
"Well, can he do this?" And he proceeded to pop-and-lock.
Mercedes rolled her eyes. "That's like elementary school dancing compared to what he does. Now let's do this."
"I'm getting a little bored," Kurt said at five and a half minutes.
"I'm tired," Brittany added, yawning.
"You should be," Santana purred.
When they all stared, she rolled her eyes.
"Because it's like twelve in the morning. God, pervs."
"Well, we can go to bed after this round, if everyone wants to," Rachel assured them.
"I'm not tired," Puck said, and Matt, Kurt, and Artie added their agreements.
"I'd suggest just the girls go to bed then, but…I really don't trust you boys not to do strange things to us in our sleep."
"Besides, we haven't all gotten to go," Matt pointed out.
"Everyone but me has gotten at least one turn, and I'm perfectly fine with ending the game here," Rachel retorted.
"Seven Minutes in Heaven has to be the last game of the party, though," Puck insisted.
She frowned. "Why?"
"Because it's the best one."
Rachel exchanged an exasperated glance with Quinn. Artie glanced at his watch.
Kurt whipped open the door. "Oh, my God, you guys!"
Mercedes pulled off her blindfold. "What? I was throwing him a bone. He spent the entire seven minutes begging to do something other than thumb warring."
"Did not," Mike grumbled.
"Mike, it's your turn," Rachel reminded him when he went to sit.
"Oh, sweet. Please be someone looser with their tongue!"
Mercedes rolled her eyes while he dug through.
"Uh, Rachel, do you, like, carry around gold star stickers with you or something?" Mike asked, pointing to the star on her slip.
"Actually, yes!" Rachel swept out a packet of them. "They're very convenient."
They all exchanged amused glances and Rachel set the bowl in Quinn's lap. Mercedes tied the blindfold around her head.
"Can I please draw another name?" Mike asked anxiously.
Rachel squeaked indignantly.
"Not because it's you! I mean…you're pretty hot when you're not talking and stuff, but Finn and Quinn already got this whole war thing going on and I…I'm too young to die." He nodded for emphasis.
"That's why we made the new rule," she reminded him. "No one's going to be mad at you. Now, come on."
He sighed and let Matt blindfold him.
"They're glaring at me. I can feel it."
"Dude, you're fine."
"Don't be a wuss," Puck said, pounding him on the back.
"I'm not mad, Mike," Finn assured him.
"You're not really the one I'm worried about."
Puck shut the door before Finn could respond.
Kurt bounced to open the door and Rachel was straightening Mike's shoulders.
"That'll give you better support when you're singing," she told him, and Mike sighed. "Honestly, you need to work on your posture. That's why you're always losing air so quickly."
Kurt grinned. "Time's up."
"Oh! Lovely," Rachel said, pulling off the blindfold and hopping back to her spot next to Quinn, who was smirking again.
"Seven minutes in heaven," Mike grumbled. "More like hell."
"I think seven minutes in a closet with Rachel counts as purgatory," Kurt replied.
"I'd be insulted, but I think that's actually the nicest thing you've ever said about me. Noah, you draw next."
"All right!" He rubbed his hands together and took a moment to pray it would be a hot girl, and then he dug through the papers. "Mercedes!"
She groaned. "You're gonna try to make out with me, aren't you?"
He waggled his eyebrows.
"Just don't grope me, please. That's all I ask."
"I make no promises."
"Puck, learn to use less tongue! I'm begging you!" Mercedes shook her head, plopping next to Kurt and stretching her jaw.
"I don't use too much tongue," he said, frowning. "Do I, Brittany?"
She avoided his eyes. He scowled.
"Well, I—we haven't made out in such a long time, Noah, I—"
"Quinn, come on."
"I was drunk."
He huffed. "Santana?"
"You use tongue like Coach Sylvester uses the phrase 'that's hard.'"
"Quinn, your turn." Rachel smiled.
She huffed and pulled the slip off the top. "Matt."
"Yes!" She glared at him and he swallowed. "Or…crap."
She rolled her eyes and let Rachel blindfold her again.
"I'm going to be playing a thumb war again, aren't I?" he asked Mike.
He patted him on the shoulder.
"I wasn't trying to touch your boob! I swear to God!"
"Right. Because that's why you just happened to touch one. On your way to not doing that. Tina, you're in my seat."
"I was just trying to find you. It's dark in there. And my toe hurts now."
"We were already holding hands, you idiot. And you're lucky something else doesn't hurt."
Rachel rubbed her arm soothingly.
"I guess no one should play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Quinn," Kurt said, shaking his head. "She's dangerous in there."
"Only when you annoy me."
"Okay, my turn!" Rachel said delightedly, and she concentrated hard as she dug through the papers. She grinned triumphantly. "Finn."
He brightened and let Puck blindfold him. Quinn scowled and did her duty, guiding Rachel into the closet. Kurt shut the door and frowned at the others.
"Did Rachel seem far too delighted about that to anyone else?" he asked.
"Considering she's spent the last hour or so clinging to Quinn's arm, yes," Artie agreed.
Kurt glanced at them. "I'm going in."
And he pressed his ear to the door.
"God, if you're going to do this, do it right," Quinn said irritably.
She snatched an empty glass from the table and pressed her ear to it. The others followed suit and started giggling as they listened.
"First of all, I'd appreciate it very much if you wiped that sour look off your face. You are completely dragging the party down, and—"
"—this is supposed to be our celebration of glee's second chance. So please stop ruining everyone else's good time."
"Rach, aren't we—"
"I'm not finished yet. Second, I'm very disappointed in your performance in a game that was all about me, whom you supposedly love."
"Those were really hard questions!"
"Quinn didn't think so."
"Oh, so that's what this is about, huh?"
"A little bit. But I'm still not finished. Thirdly—"
"Rachel, this is a really weird conversation to have with blindfolds on. Can I—"
"No! You will adhere to the rules. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, I am also extremely upset with you for lying to me about your date with Santana. I could have understood it if you waited to tell me until we started dating, since at the time we weren't dating and you didn't owe me anything, but as your current girlfriend, I believe it was pertinent information."
"You lied, too!"
"Again, I lied about being a virgin. Besides, I didn't outright lie. I was very careful about my wording, if you remember, and it really wasn't a big deal to tell Jesse why I couldn't go through with it."
"I heard that. My fourth point is that, after tonight's events, I've realized how ill-suited we are for one another."
"What you mean is, you made out with Quinn and it was so good you want to break up."
"No. Not to say that it wasn't good—Quinn is an excellent kisser, by the way, and I'm suddenly finding it difficult to understand why you broke up with her in the first place, but I digress. You've proved yourself far lower than adequate in several areas tonight, and most of them had nothing to do with Quinn."
"Really? Enlighten me."
"Well, first, you clearly don't listen to me. Frankly, I'll be surprised if you manage to remember that I broke up with you tomorrow."
"Second, you fail to incite arousal in me, which I believe is part of a good, healthy relationship. Third, you hardly notice when I'm insulted by members of our glee club, and when you do, you don't defend me until I point it out. In short, I feel that you don't respect and care about me as a boyfriend should, and I believe it is in our best interests to terminate this relationship."
"You don't think this is going to drag down the party?"
"On the contrary, everyone seems to be in support of this decision."
"You…you talked to them about this?"
"No, I simply gathered a consensus by listening to the comments made by all of our teammates. Although I did ask Mike while we were in the closet, and he confirmed my beliefs."
"Great. So I suppose you're gonna go fly into Quinn's arms as soon as we're done."
"If I were, I'd hardly tell you, would I?"
"Tell him, dammit, tell him."
Rachel gasped. "Noah, get away from the door this instant! This is a private conversation!"
"Look what you did! You got us in trouble!"
"Santana!" Rachel scolded.
"OW! That was your fault!"
"Now we won't be able to hear the rest of the conversation. Great job, guys."
Finn growled. "Kurt?"
"Just how many of you are listening?" Rachel demanded, and yanked open the door.
All ten of them scrambled for seats, shoving each other over in order to get there in time. Rachel scowled at them, blindfold hanging down around her neck.
"Well, aren't you all lovely friends?"
"Great. Now all our friends heard you dump me," Finn groaned. "I'll never be able to show my face at school again."
She rolled her eyes. "Stop being such a drama queen."
He gaped at her.
"Still, I am very disappointed in all of you. That was extremely poor etiquette," she said, folding her arms.
There was a chorus of 'sorry' and pointing fingers until Rachel raised her hands to halt all conversation.
"I don't care who started it. You should all be ashamed of yourselves, and I expect all of you to apologize personally to Finn."
"Than—hey! Why not to you, too? You were in there, too!" he growled.
"I didn't have anything embarrassing happen to me."
He glared, and they all apologized one by one.
"Very good. Now, I believe it's Santana's turn to—"
"Wait. We're sorry, but we really have to know," Mercedes said sheepishly, glancing at the others for support.
Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"Are-you-and-Quinn-gonna-date-now?" Matt blurted, after Puck elbowed him.
She glanced at a pouting Finn, and then at a frowning Quinn.
"You're all very bold tonight. Did you crack into my father's alcohol, by chance?" she asked sternly, smirking as she sat next to Quinn.
"Come on, Rach! Tell us!" Mike whined.
"Please?" Brittany pouted and Rachel laughed.
"I think that's between me and Quinn, don't you?" And she turned to Quinn, who nodded.
"Keep your noses out of my business."
They all groaned. Santana sighed and pulled Brittany's slip out of the bowl, waved it at them, and dragged her into the closet without bothering with the blindfolds. Artie went to time them, but Rachel waved her hand dismissively.
"Don't bother. I think we're done with this game, and they'll come out when Santana is ready to."
"Who else is tired?"
The boys protested, and the girls rolled their eyes.
"Well, I'm going to sleep," Mercedes said. "Right, T?"
She yawned. "Definitely."
"Lightweights," Puck scoffed.
"I'm going to bed, too," Rachel replied, stretching. "Finn, I know you're angry with me right now." He glared. "But in the morning, I'm making chocolate chip waffles." He hesitated and she grinned. "Good night."
Quinn wobbled to her feet when Rachel pulled her along behind her, and everyone called good night to them, and Finn sighed, torn. They were on the third step when he called, "Night!"
"Dude, you're just pathetic," Puck commented, shaking his head.
"Thanks." Rachel plopped on the edge, smiling. "So…is Santana just full of it or…?"
Quinn smirked. "Not completely. I probably would've phrased it a little differently…."
"That's a relief. What would you have said?"
She sat next to her. "I want to date you."
A grin spread across her face. "I'd like that."
Quinn smirked back. "I knew you'd come to see things my way." She frowned. "Although I wasn't really expecting it to be because Santana told you I want to bone you."
"Well, it wasn't, really."
"What was, then?"
Rachel considered that. "I'd have to say…it was when you knew my favorite color was red." She grinned impishly. "Really sealed the deal."
Quinn shook her head, smiling. "Liar."
"You're right. It was actually this."
And she leaned in to kiss her again, more gently this time, though Quinn soon had her tongue running over her bottom lip and her thumb running lazy circles over Rachel's favorite spot and then they were kissing far more aggressively as Quinn explored her mouth. Rachel let her hands wander over her back and sides this time, and just as Quinn started to push her back down to the bed, she tore away, panting.
"Do you want to play strip poker?"
Her only answer was a devilish grin.