Je N'ai Pas De Mots
Disclaimer: Firstly, I adore Vic Mignogna. He's a great voice actor and musician, and he's the one who owns this song. Secondly, I obviously don't own FMA either, because if I did there would be lots more Ed and Roy lovin'.
AN: I saw Vic and Travis at AFW6 a few weekends ago and it was amazing… I downloaded some of Vic's music and lo and behold, this came out. Please enjoy this series of one-shots based on Vic's song.
Je N'ai Pas De Mots
Come near and stand by me, baby.
Close enough to reach out and pull you still closer.
All that is swelling within me,
Must be a language I've never spoken til there was you.
Try but I stumbled,
Over all my heart wants to say now.
Edward had always assumed he wouldn't make it past his eighteenth birthday. He had known, deep down, that he would have to make an incredible sacrifice if he were to keep his promise to his brother, and he had accepted that with as much grace as he could and moved on.
Well, he was nineteen, and he had lived. Even if sometimes he wishes he hadn't.
Blonde hair fell into his eyes as he tipped his head up toward the night sky, looking but not really seeing. It had been three years. 1095 days since he had been home, since he'd argued theories with Alphonse, since he'd gotten an automail check-up from Winry, since he'd kissed Roy. Ed tried not to think too much about home, and, if he was honest with himself, he found himself dwelling on it less and less as the days went by. But some nights, like tonight, he felt like he had to think about it, or else he would burst from the memories.
Ed would say that he had few regrets. His brief trip back to his side of the Gate had proved that Alphonse had been returned to flesh and blood and that the homunculi were eradicated. Winry, Hawkeye, all the others from the office had moved on. The only regret he had, really, was Roy.
God, he missed him. Missed long fingers stroking his jaw and threading through his hair, missed the velvet softness of his voice, the color of his eyes and the shape of his nose. He missed the sound of the man's laughter and his moans, missed eating breakfast with him in the morning and going to bed with him at night. Ed missed Roy so much it left a hollow in his chest, and it ached.
There had been so much he wanted to tell the man, but there hadn't been the time. He had been so relieved to see Roy alive, even with the addition of the eye patch. They had traded words, and it was almost like old times until reality fell on their shoulders. He had to leave, the Gate needed to be closed behind him.
It wasn't until he was back here, in Germany, that he realized his one opportunity had forever been lost to the sands of time. The words had lined up on his tongue and now he could say them all he wanted, but the one person they were intended for would never hear them.
So he kept them inside, and life moved on without him.
TG © July 2010