Radarr Takes a Bath
BlueTiger321: Hello everyone, and thank you for selecting my story. This is a parody of a SpongeBob SquarePants episode featuring characters from Storm Hawks. I know some of my loyal readers loved reading my previous parody stories so I'm going to treat them with another one. First, the legal parts: the SpongeBob SquarePants franchise is property of Nickelodeon Studios, and Storm Hawks and all characters used in this story are property of Nerd Corps Entertainment. So get ready to laugh at the sheer stupidity. Enjoy!
In the world of Atmos, the fabled Sky Knight ship known as the Condor had landed on Terra Atmosia while the members of the squadron traverse into town to re-stock on supplies. The only two members who remained inside the ship were the squadron's navigator and the Sky Knight's co-pilot.
The navigator was a fourteen-year-old girl with chocolate brown skin and bluish, black hair held back by a yellow hair band. Her amber-coloured eyes matched the details on her yellow and blue dress, and a blue choker around her neck had a light blue crystal dangling from the middle. Her name was Piper.
The co-pilot was a furry animal that looked like a hybrid between a monkey and a weasel with his bushy tail, long ears and brown eyes set against yellow irises. His purple skin was only visible on his paws as the rest of his body was covered with blue fur, but he also wore a blue suit over his fur to feel like part of the team. He went by the name Radarr.
Everything was going peacefully aboard the Condor when a clock chimed as it struck five o'clock. Piper dreaded having to do this because it was a daunting task for all the Storm Hawks, but it was her turn to bathe Radarr. Smiling, she decided to hide the feeling through a façade.
"Radarr," she said, "looks like it's that time of the week again: bath time!"
Hearing the word bath had made Radarr open the pupils of his eyes in fear. He didn't like taking baths and all the Storm Hawks knew it.
"Come on," said Piper. "Let's go get the water started."
The Storm Hawks' navigator walked over to head for the ship's bathroom, but the co-pilot didn't move an inch. Realising this, Piper walked back with a dissatisfied look on her face.
"You're gonna have to get in that tub Radarr," she reassured him.
Pointing at the floor, Piper was going to explain to Radarr what was going to happen. "Now Radarr, we can do this the hard way or the easy way..." she said, "...Or the medium way... or the semi-medium, easy-hard way... or the sort-of hard, with a touch of awkward, easy-difficult, challenging way."
Radarr was so confused by what Piper said that he just stared at her with a blank face. Piper saw that Radarr wasn't responding in any way, which meant he wasn't going to take a bath the easy way.
Narrowing her eyes, she said, "So that's how you wanna play it, huh?" Now she was going to make sure Radarr would take his bath.
The first thing Piper would try would be to coerce her furry friend into the bathtub. She held a box in her hands, which contained a new crystal she had recently purchased. The navigator knew that Radarr wouldn't be able to resist looking at this crystal.
"Radarr," she called, "check out this new crystal." Piper took out an orange crystal and showed it only for a second before throwing it behind her. "Go get it!"
Radarr obliged with the girl as he made his way on all fours after the crystal. The object soon made its way into the bathroom with the tub already filled with water but soon stopped in mid-air before it crossed the doorway. It then reversed its course and headed back to where Piper was standing.
"Huh?" Piper said confusedly.
Radarr went over to the crystal, picked it up and walked away while Piper was trying to figure out what went wrong. She looked at the box and read the label.
"New Boomerang Crystal – Really Works!" she read.
Piper growled in frustration and threw the box behind her, knowing this attempt was a complete failure. When she walked away trying to think of a new plan, the box suddenly flew back to her and hit her in the back of the head, which made her topple to the floor.
Piper then had another plan. She knew that Radarr would do anything for his teammates if they were in danger so she ran up to the co-pilot with a few sticks of dynamite and an alarm clock tied to her front.
"Radarr!" she shouted in a panic. "There's a bomb strapped to my chest! And it's gonna explode in three seconds unless you take a bath!"
Radarr thought the girl was bluffing, so he only stood there and churred with disapproval. The bomb slowly ticked while Piper looked at her furry cohort worriedly.
"Please?" she begged.
At that moment, the bomb exploded and left Radarr unharmed. But Piper now stood there with a huge scorch mark all over her front and her eyes open wide in shock. Now it would be on to the next plan.
After recovering from the last failed attempt, Piper was now going to try and get into Radarr's subconscious and convince him to take a bath.
Waving her hands around in circles, Piper said, "I am now going to fill your mind with subliminal messages."
Piper's mind was now focusing on objects related to taking a bath. First she thought of a bathtub filled with water, next was a close-up of a showerhead spraying water, next was a bar of soap, but the last vision was of a goofy-looking woman with pigtails who laughed giddily.
The navigator didn't know how she came up with that last vision but it made her freaked out for picturing it. Thinking that Radarr had pictured it in his mind, she walked away and said, "Sorry you had to see that..."
Piper was now going to try scaring Radarr into taking a bath. Whistling happily, she walked over to the radio and made a call. She smiled and knew that Radarr was going to hear everything she said.
"Hello?" said Piper. "Fancy Terra Gale restaurant...? I've got a naughty animal here who won't take a bath."
The call on the receiving line was then being heard on the radio, but Piper could only stand there bewildered as she couldn't make out what the other person was saying.
"What?" she said. "Could you say that again? Slow down. It's like your speaking some other language."
Radarr could see this was going nowhere so he walked off and left Piper in her confused state. Seeing this plan had failed, she angrily slammed the radio's transmitter and ended the call.
Piper was certain this next plan was going to work. She was trying to get on Radarr's good side and play a game with him.
The girl jumped over to Radarr as he was minding his own business.
"Hey Radarr!" she said. "How 'bout some leap frog?"
Piper went first by jumping over Radarr and squatted in front of him. Now she had him where she wanted him.
"Okay, it's your turn," she said.
Radarr decided there was no harm in this game so he happily crawled onto Piper's back. The girl then flung her back forward just as Radarr was crossing over it and sent him flying through the air. Piper looked to see if her plan had worked. A huge smile formed over her face, but it soon turned to a frown when she saw Radarr had crashed into the wall near the entrance to the bathroom. The furry co-pilot let out a chirp in pain as his eyes rolled around in their sockets.
Radarr was now standing by himself with his torso covered in bandages. Piper was coming over to him, and the little guy thought she was going to apologise for what she had done earlier.
"Hey Radarr," she said. "How 'bout some leap frog?"
Radarr only chirped angrily as he knew this was going to be another attempt to get him to take a bath, and he didn't want it to end up like last time. He soon noticed Piper's staff lying down in front of him, so he picked it up and smacked Piper on the head with it, knocking her to the floor.
Piper's next idea was to try and bargain Radarr into taking his bath. She stretched out a dollar between her hands and eyed the furry co-pilot intently.
"I've got a crisp dollar bill for the next fella to take a bath on the Condor," she said.
Suddenly, a bathtub rushed into the bridge with Finn sitting inside it. He had somehow heard Piper's deal and he grabbed the dollar with glee, leaving Piper stunned.
"Sweet!" said Finn.
The bathtub then rushed out of the Condor with Finn having his new dollar, and Piper was now left with no results.
Piper was now going to take a long shot and try something completely absurd: she was going to do a dance and see if that would make Radarr take his bath.
Tapping her feet, Piper sang, "Yatta-ta-ta-ta, yatta-da-da! Yatta-ta-ta-ta, yatta-da-da!"
Piper then made gestures like she was tipping a hat, swirling around her hands and also punching her nose. Her next move was her moving around her body while narrowing her eyes. Now she was going to try the big finish.
While swinging her arms, Piper sang, "Yatta-da-da-da-da-da!"
Piper clapped her hands and was now sweating profusely and breathing heavily after that performance. Radarr only looked at his friend with an odd look.
"So that didn't work either, huh?" said Piper.
After a short while, Piper came up with another plan. This time she was going to trick Radarr into taking a bath. She would do this by pretending there's secret treasure onboard the Condor.
Piper came into the bridge with a bandanna covering her hair and an eye patch over her right eye. A rolled-up sheet of paper was also clutched in her right hand.
"Radarr, Radarr!" she called.
The cries were so sudden that it nearly frightened Radarr as he looked up at his teammate.
"Look what I found!" said Piper. "It's an old Murk Raider treasure map revealing the location of Murk Raider treasure on the Condor!"
Piper unrolled the paper to show a dotted line leading to a treasure chest. The upper right-hand corner had the word Bathroom crossed out and the word Buried Treasure was written underneath it.
Rolling up the map, Piper said with encouragement, "C'mon, let's go get that treasure!"
Radarr thought this was for real, so he followed the girl until she stopped in the bridge.
"Okay, Radarr," said Piper. "Now forty paces to the left." The girl then walked to her left and counted her steps. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten..."
The trek eventually led Piper and Radarr to a door with a giant red X painted over it. They were getting close to it when Piper was still counting her steps.
"Twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven..." Piper looked to see she was already in front of the door and she really hadn't expected this to happen. Not knowing Radarr would know the difference, she made one more step and said, "...forty." She walked over to the door and waited until the ship's system would let it open by itself.
"The treasure must be in here," she said enthusiastically.
Piper walked into the room and there was the bathtub painted to make it look like a treasure chest.
"Wow, Radarr!" she said in a surprised tone. "A Murk Raider treasure chest!"
Radarr glanced at the tub with a strange look, and so he chirped questioningly.
"Why, no Radarr," replied Piper, "this isn't the bathtub."
The girl then kicked away the bucket of paint, making Radarr suspicious.
"It's treasure," she said and reached into the 'chest.' "Look, doubloons!" Piper held out two bars of soap in front of Radarr's face. "Don't drop them." Reaching into the tub again, she pulled out a rubber duck. "Look at this brooch."
Radarr chirped in question again.
Getting angry, Piper threw away her pirate get-up and said, "I don't know what you'd do with a brooch! Now why don't you just get in the tub?"
Piper then picked up Radarr, getting tired of all this frustration. The girl smiled as she thought she had finally accomplished her task, but she soon noticed Radarr clinging to her left arm.
Piper grabbed Radarr again, saying, "Get in the tub!" But Radarr moved over and clung to her right arm. "Get in the tub!" He now held onto the girl's stomach. "Get in the tub!" He now held onto the girl's legs. "In the tub!" He now held onto the girl's back. This time, Piper held Radarr high above her head so he couldn't grab any part of her. "In the tub!"
Radarr was now frozen in mid-air over the surface of the bathtub, and Piper was let stunned at how this could happen. All of a sudden, Radarr popped up next to the girl as if he teleported. This left Piper even more enraged as she twitched her right eye.
The navigator grabbed onto the co-pilot once again, but Radarr held onto the floor for dear life.
Piper said through strain, "Now Radarr, are you gonna get in this tub or am I gonna have to-"
The girl pulled so hard that she and Radarr went flying through the ceiling of the ship's bathroom. They both ended up on the roof, dangling over the hole they had just made. Piper was able to grab onto Radarr's body for support. She looked down and saw that she was swaying back and forth with the bathtub a few feet below her. One false move and she would be taking a plunge into soapy water.
Piper hoped Radarr would be sympathetic and prevent her from falling. "Radarr," she asked, "could you uh-"
Radarr wasn't going to allow this to happen. He knew that if he helped his friend then she would end up forcing him to try and take a bath again. The furry co-pilot shook his body, making Piper lose her grip.
"No!" she cried. With one last shake, Piper was now holding onto thin air. "Radarr!" she shouted as she plummeted back into the Condor.
The navigator fell into the tub and made a gigantic splash. Water was strewn all over the inside of the bathroom. When Piper brought her head over the water, she was now seeing nothing but blinding fury.
"All right, Radarr!" she said. "You have duped and/or frustrated me for the last time! So if I can't get you to come to the bath, I'll just have to bring the bath to you!"
With that, the girl pulled out a blue crystal and held it over the water. The crystal began to shine with intensity as Piper activated its special ability. The water in the bathtub was being sucked up into the crystal, leaving Piper with her last resort in giving Radarr a bath.
Meanwhile, Radarr was on the couch in the middle of the bridge reading a book. He was interrupted when someone said, "Radarr..."
The furry co-pilot turned around to see Piper standing by the doorway, looking intent and holding a crystal in her hand.
"...Bath delivery!" said Piper.
Radarr was now frightened out of his wits. His friend was now going to force a bath on him, which may result in severe injury.
Piper wasted no time in aiming her crystal and releasing a jet of water. Radarr jumped away at the last second while making a terrified chirp. The water didn't make Radarr clean but it washed the couch and made it sparkle.
"Come back, Radarr," said Piper. "I have something to chair with you." The girl realised that was a stupid pun, but all the frustration from trying to give Radarr a bath made it insignificant.
Another jet of water was fired from the crystal. It missed Radarr, and the force caused it to puncture a hole in the Condor's hull.
Piper had followed Radarr all the way into the kitchen. The furry guy ran across the counter to get away from the crazed girl just as she released another jet of water. The attack only cleaned up a pile of dirty dishes and stacked them neatly on the counter.
"Dish is more like it," said Piper, making another bad pun.
The navigator had fired two more shots of water, but only caused more damage to the Condor's hull.
Radarr was so terrified of Piper that he had no choice but to exit the ship through the ramp. Piper was soon after him, and fired another stream of water but missed. When she got to the ramp, she looked around frantically for the co-pilot.
"Water you waiting for, Radarr?" she said.
Piper then heard the familiar churring from Radarr, and pinpointed it coming above her. There, she saw Radarr's silhouetted figure at the top of a tree. The girl was already taking action by carrying a ladder. She figured this wouldn't require her to use her Heliscooter since she knew Radarr had nowhere to go.
"Aw, stuck in a tree?" said Piper.
Once climbing up the ladder, Piper smiled gleefully as she thought she finally had Radarr cornered.
"It's time to clean up your act, Radarr!" said the navigator.
Piper held up the crystal over her head and fired a mighty stream of water at Radarr. This had finally exhausted all the water from the tub. Piper looked to see her task finally complete but was shocked to find what was in the tree. Sitting on the tree was a phonograph shaped to look like Radarr and play sounds of Radarr's chirps on a record. The force from the water had caused the record to skip. Eventually, the water had caused the phonograph to break down and cut off the record before it made another sound.
"Huh?" said Piper as she walked along the tree. "This can't be right."
The girl then saw the tip of her ladder moving. Her face was set in disarray as she also heard Radarr's chirping that made him sound like he was saying, "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah!"
Piper walked to the edge of the tree and looked down in anger. "Radarr!" she said.
On the ground was Radarr, and he looked up and blinked at Piper.
"Bring that ladder back this instant!" she ordered.
Radarr didn't comply, and so he let it fall to the ground.
"I am not amused!" said Piper. "You are going to take a bath and you are going to get clean right now!"
The co-pilot let out a chirp in response to the navigator's order.
"I am so the boss of you!" said Piper.
Again, Radarr chirped.
"It may be a free Atmos," said Piper, "but you're a part of the Storm Hawks, so you'll follow any orders we give!"
Radarr chirped in a low voice to defy Piper's statement.
"Don't use that tone of voice with me!" she snapped. "You will do what I say, when I say!" She wasn't going to let Radarr question her authority, especially when it came to bath time.
Radarr scanned what was in front of him, and sitting underneath the tree was what gave him an idea. He slowly walked over to the spot.
"What are you doing?" Piper demanded. "I am talking to you!"
Radarr stopped before a giant brown puddle. He was going to show he wouldn't be intimidated.
"Do not go near that mud puddle!" ordered Piper. "Radarr, do you hear me? I'm giving you three seconds to get away from that mud puddle!" She then counted down. "One..." Radarr walked closer. "Two..." He was now another step closer. "Two-and-a-half..."
Radarr was now going to provoke Piper by smirking and sticking up his hind paw.
"Don't make me say three!" she forewarned.
The furry co-pilot stretched his paw over the mud, intending on making Piper irritated.
Piper leaned over the branch and shouted, "Radarr! Radarr!" The girl leaned over so much that she lost her footing and plummeted. "Radarr!" she cried.
The navigator had fallen into the mud puddle, making a big splash. She lay there looking up at the sky frowning and couldn't believe she fell for Radarr's trick.
"I'm a dirty girl," she said in a defeated tone.
Piper had gotten so dirty that she was forced to take a bath. Her body was submerged in the water while her head rested against the back. This time, Radarr was there to make sure Piper would get clean. He chirped an order to the girl.
"Yeah, yeah Radarr," she said in an irritated voice. "I'm getting behind my ears." Piper picked up a sponge and cleaned behind her ears to prove she was doing it.
Radarr then flashed a toothy grin, happy to know that he had avoided another bath.
BlueTiger321: I hope you all enjoyed this. And I apologise for making Piper a bit out of character, but I figured she would do well for this story. So anyway, be sure to read and review!