Well, I wasn;t sure if I should write this, but I did anyway. I hope you like it! Enjoy!

Song- Angels Cry by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Lunar Earthshine

Well it is hard to explain but I'll try if you let me
Well it is hard to sustain
I'll cry if you let me
This doesn't change the way I feel about you or your place in my life

"Come for a walk with me."

I was completely aware that my voice was cold and harsh. But most of all, emotionless. I didn't sound like me. But I wasn't surprised. I knew that I wasn't me, anymore. I knew that I would never be me from then on. Not without her. My mind was telling me that I was doing the right thing, for once in my long existence, but my heart was screaming to me to stay with her, to push away her every nightmare, to make true her every dream.

My feet were moving, mechanically, like I was a robot. I led her to the path towards the forest. After only a few quick steps, I stopped. I wanted to leave her just a few meters away from her house, so she wouldn't get lost.

I heard her saying something, but I didn't pay any attention to it. It didn't matter what she would say. Nothing mattered anymore.

Before I had time to rethink it, I heard myself whispering the words. "Bella, we're leaving."

(please don't cry)
Can't you see I'm dying here?
A shot of broken heart that is chased with fear

I tried not to cringe, as I waited to see the pain in her face. I saw nothing. Nothing. Not the surprise, the hurt, the fear that I was expecting. She looked… relieved? Did I mean that little to her? Did my absence made her feel so… comfortable? I shook my head, trying to make the hurt go away for the moment. There would be a lot of time for pain, later. I had an eternity after all.

"Why now? Another year-"

Another year? Another year, only? It took me a while to understand the meaning of her words. She must have misunderstood. The idea was tempting, although. Too tempting. Just another year, Edward. Just another year and then you will never come back.

No! No! I screamed to myself. This was the best time to leave her. I almost chuckled to myself. No time would be the best time to leave her. I wanted her with me, forever. But I couldn't have her. I shouldn't end her life like that. I couldn't… I wouldn't.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." I started saying the little speech –the excuses–that I had formed in my mind.

The angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way

Could a frozen's heart break? It felt like mine could.

I could almost hear the shattering. Like glass breaking in pieces, so small pieces that could never be found and connected.

It's for her. I reminded myself.

My eyes were cold, emotionless, as I looked at her face, her cheeks, her hair, her lips (that wasn't the best part to look at, it caused strange reactions to my body, as I remembered the feeling of her soft lips against mine…). I tried to avoid her eyes, knowing that if I looked there, I would definitely lose it. I would burst into sobs, begging on my knees for her to forgive, to let me be just a small part of her life.

"When you say 'we'…?"

I tried to make my voice as cold as ice, emphasizing each word, trying to make my point as clear as possible. "I mean my family and myself." And you…

"Okay, I'll come with you." She said. Couldn't she just… let me go? Easing my pain? Why did it have to be so difficult?

Because true love never dies… I answered to myself.

"You can't, Bella. Where we are going… It's not the right place for you."

Intentions that were pure have turned obscure
Seconds into hours
Minutes into years

"Where you are is the right place for me." She begged. It was so… wrong… so unbearable to watch her suffer like this. Are you happy, now? I chanted to myself.

I could see the pain in her every amazingly beautiful feature. It took me every power and control that I had managed to develop in my long existence not to run at her side, take her in my arms and take the pain away, the pain that I have caused.

I knew that this would be difficult, but I had never imagined that it would be that difficult.

I could see her eyes glistening, as some tears threatened to escape. No, no, please… Please, don't, please… Don't cry. She was about to cry, because of me! How had I allowed this? How had I allowed myself to hurt her once more? My hand twitched in an attempt to be put over my heart, to clutch myself and push the pain away.

"I'm no good for you, Bella." I spoke the truest words that I said that day. I looked down in an attempt to control my thoughts.

Don't ask me why
(please don't cry)
I can
't tell you lies

"Don't be ridiculous." She whispered, shaking her head. "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you."

"What happened with Jasper-that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" Her voice started rising.

Play your role… I thought dryly. Would I ever forgive myself for doing this to her? I already knew the answer. No. The question that made me suffer was: Would she ever forgive me for doing this to her? I knew the answer to that, too. No. The answer made me suffer even more.

"You're right." I agreed, softly. "It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix you promised that you would stay-"

"As long as that was best for you." I finished.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" She shouted furiously, her small frame trembling and shaking uncontrollably. I closed my eyes, trying to control myself. Play your role… I repeated once again. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already!"

It was difficult now, very difficult. Especially when my lies were getting worse and worse. I didn't care that I was lying. Lies meant nothing to me. I wouldn't care if I lied to Carlisle, to Angela or Jessica, or even to myself. But lying to her… knowing that she had been so honest with me, so trusting… knowing that she had risked her life while she was near to me… It was… unbearable.

The angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way.

I knew that she wouldn't believe me that easily. Of course, she wouldn't. I had confessed my love to her so many times before, she knew that she meant a lot to me, that she was everything to me, that she was my life. It would take me hours to convince her otherwise.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I spoke the words through clenched teeth. I was angry with myself. Furious. How, how could I be so… so heartless? How had I managed to spoke this blasphemy? How did I dare think that she would believe me? How? How could I expect her to believe me, after I said those stupid words?

I waited to see her response. I expected her to laugh, to laugh at my stupid, impossible lie. I expected her to raise an eyebrow, telling me how silly I sounded.

She didn't.

"You… don't… want me?"

Her words made me curious. Had she managed to develop her acting skills? To play along with my role?

I forced myself to look in her eyes, to see what she was really thinking… To see what had made her to believe me. Was I so convincing?

I looked into her brown depths, getting lost for a minute. I could see the pain here, I could see the doubt, I could see the fear. But most of all, I could see her love, the love that was devoted to me! The love that I was more than determined to destroy.

In that brief second that I looked in her eyes, every feeling came into life, destroying my emotionless façade.

The lump that had been in my throat since I have decided this; became bigger. I couldn't talk, I couldn't walk, I just looked at those beautiful eyes that looked like they were pleading me.

It felt like my legs couldn't hold me up for longer. My knees felt weak, as I sank down on the ground, bringing my legs to my chest. Tearless sobs escaped my lips, making me tremble. I had never felt weaker and more useless in my whole existence.

The pain was too much. It felt like an iron cage was placed around my shattering heart, like a weight had landed on my stomach. I was sure that someone had made a hole on my chest. "Oh God, I can't do this!" I shouted, my voice broken. "I can't! I fucking can't!"

My heart burns through
My chest to the floor
Tearing me silently although abruptly
Words cant hide as I'm taking you home
And I tried to see
Tried to understand your words as I'm taking you home

What was I thinking? How had I believed that I would be strong enough to live without her? "Bel-la, oh Bella, I'm sorry, so sor-ry." My words came out strangely. Even I had difficulty understanding them. My body was shaking from the force of my sobs. "Oh, Bella."

I heard sound and I opened my eyes, only to see her feet taking unsteady but sure steps towards me. She kneeled next to me, caressing the hair on the back of my neck. How could she love me after that? How? How could she trust me after that? How could she forgive me after that?

"Edward…" She said, her voice breaking. "Oh, Edward." She said once again. I didn't know what to say and I didn't know if I could talk. The pain in my heart was too much. I remembered that once I had thought that I was Bella's 'guardian angel', her vampire-angel. How wrong I was… She was my angel, the only thing that could save me from the black hell that I was drawing. She was the only thing that could give me strength to go on. She was the most important thing on my life. I had promised that I would never, ever hurt her.

And there I was, breaking this promise.

I felt selfish to the core, as I changed my mind, completely aware that I couldn't stop myself from being in her life.

More sobs left my clenched teeth, as I buried my face in my knees once again.

I cursed myself, mentally, for being weak. I shouldn't be weak, I was the one that was hard as stone, I should behave like one.

I was made of stone, but I wasn't.

"Edward…" Her beautiful voice caressed my name so lovingly; a thrill ran down my spine. "I don't know what to say… I don't understand any of this…"

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I raised my head to look at my angel. "It wasn't supposed to end up like this…"

She cringed at the world 'end'. "End up? What are you talking about?" Her eyebrows knitted together, creating the small furrow between them. My hand shot up, like a reflex, to ease the crease there, to make her worries go away. Until I remembered that I had hurt her. I moved my hand, hesitantly, checking if it was alright for her. She looked at my hand for a moment, confuse written all over her face, but she didn't protest. Good. My thumb caressed the small furrow and it quickly disappeared, smoothing her forehead.

I sighed. "I don't know if I can explain this right…"

"Try." She pleaded me.

"Bella… what I said before…" I took a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts. I wasn't strong enough to leave her, but I owed her a good explanation and apology, for that matter. "Bella, since the first minute that I understood I was in love with you, I knew that I would have to leave, to get myself as far away from you as possible. But I also knew that I couldn't do it. I was too selfish to find the will to do it… So, I chose the worst option, for both of us… I knew that I couldn't leave, or change you, so I just chose this." I said, taking her hand in mine. "Come as close to you as possible while you were human. Obviously, I was so stupid. My world isn't for you, Bella. Vampires are a danger… But I was so selfish to admit it." I said, hanging my head in shame. "But when I saw Jasper attacking you, when I saw the danger in his hungry eyes, the decision was made at once." I looked back at her. "I had to leave. All this days, I was fighting, trying to find a reason that was …stronger than your safety so that I would be able to stay. But the only thing I came up with was the desire to be with you. I know that it is hard to believe but being with you is more strong than your safety, if you know what I mean." I sighed. "But I couldn't let you die because of my selfishness, Bella. So, I… made up the story that I told you before."

She had tears in her eyes by the time that I finished. Her sobs echoed in the forest. I suddenly felt the urge to cry too. Her pain was my pain. And seeing in her eyes the hurt that I have caused… it was too much. "Oh, Bella." I whispered, taking her in my arms so that she was sitting on my lap. "Bella, Bella… Everything is fine, now, I promise. Oh, Bella." I kept saying her name, enjoying the feeling of it on my tongue. At first I thought that her sobs were so strong that I was shaking, before I realized that I was sobbing, too. "Shhh…" I hushed her. "I'm right h-here… I'm h-here and I l-love you… Shhh."

A sob that was so strong that I thought it would break her small, fragile frame escaped her lips. I held her more tightly to my chest, until our sobs died down.

"Are you trying to tell me that you were about to… break up with me, because you wanted to protect me from you?"

I nodded. "I'm sorry, so, so, so sorry." I knew that it wasn't enough.

"Edward, do you know how I felt when you said that you didn't want me?"

"Do you know how I felt when I said that?"

"It was the worst nightmare."

"It's okay if you hate me now. That won't make me leave, anyway…" I loosened my arms, so she would be able to go if she wanted to, fighting the urge to hug her tightly so she wouldn't be able to.

To my big surprise, she smiled at me. "Hate you? I don't hate you Edward. How could I? To be honest I love you even more, knowing that you would stand to be in pain, just to keep me safe… I am so selfish."

I love you even more. My eyes widened at the words and a big smile appeared on my face. Oh God, what that woman could do to me.

"Oh, Bella!" I sighed, as I bent over to touch her lips. My kiss was loving and tender, but at the same time passionate. I didn't hold back this time. I put everything I had on the kiss.

"Just don't do it again." She whispered as she pulled back, a tear escaped her eye, falling down her cheek. My lips touched her cheek, taking the tears away.

"Never again." I promised. Like I could do it again… Ha! "Bella, I love you so much for your own good." I said, looking in her chocolate depths.

"I love you, too." She smiled as she touched my lips once again.

The angels cry when stars collide
I can't eat and I can't breathe
I wouldn't want it any other way

Okay… So? What do you guys think? I suppose that this is an one-shot but if you want me to continue with som pure romantic chapters, I would do it. So, should I continue?

Tell me what you think, you know that I always love hearing your opinion 3

REVIEW!

-Dora-