Thanks again to Chloe (LJ: cleodoxa) for being an amazing beta!
Harry was so angry with Severus. He seriously wanted to curse the man into nothingness. When he had prepared to tell the man how he felt about him, he had anticipated the chance that Severus might not feel the same. He had dreaded it, but would have been able to handle it. If Severus didn't feel that way, there would have been nothing more to be done.
But to hear that he did feel that way, and refused to do anything about it was ridiculous. And Severus tried to claim it was for Harry's benefit? He didn't want Harry's relationship with Sirius to suffer? Severus was scared, nothing more, but the man was too stubborn to admit it.
When he came home that night, Sirius and Danielle were there. Of course, it was impossible for him to hide his anger at the time, considering he had decided to use the kitchen table as a punching bag. It was hard to answer their questions without giving out his not-at-all boyfriend's name. Harry was tempted to just tell him, but knew Sirius would overreact and do something stupid. And if anyone was going to hit Snape, it would be him, not Sirius.
At the end of his inquisition, Sirius had concluded it as his mystery boyfriend's loss. Harry wasn't so sure. Yeah, Snape might be missing out, but he didn't think he would mind as much as he, Harry, would. Severus had grown accustomed to being alone and was content with it. While Harry, who tried his best to avoid being alone, seemed to have loneliness thrust upon him. He hated it.
The worst part of it was that Sirius and Danielle had tried to get him to spend time with them again. It was like the start of their relationship all over again, and this time Harry had nowhere to escape to. So he spent his weekends in their company, being the third wheel all over again. He missed Severus, and had half a mind to Obliviate the man and erase his offer of a real relationship out from his head. Being friends with Severus was better than having no Severus, but knowing what they both knew, it would just be awkward now.
To make matters worse, his birthday was shortly approaching, and Sirius had insisted they throw him a birthday party. Harry would have protested more, but Sirius already got Mrs. Weasley to agree to cater the event, and Harry had a hard time refusing her cooking. Living with Sirius, they usually lived off take-out and sandwiches, so a home cooked meal was always a welcomed treat. He would just have to put on his happy face, hope no one would ask him any questions about his 'boyfriend' and try to have a good time.
Severus hated how things had turned out. He had enjoyed being with Harry sexually, but somewhere along the line it had become more than that. He wished they could go back to the way things were, but even though he could continue on pretending his feelings didn't go beyond friendship, he knew Harry could never do that.
Severus hated himself for being so weak. When he was with Regulus, had he relished the fact he was with Sirius Black's brother. Just knowing how Sirius would react if he had ever found out was priceless to think about. But now, imagining that same reaction if he were to find about Harry and himself, it made him nauseous. As much as he would enjoy Black's inner turmoil, he knew it would affect Harry in a negative way. And as much as he loathed to admit it, Harry's feelings were what really mattered to him now.
Harry had lost his parents and was forced to grow up with an abysmal excuse for a family. Then he had lost his two best friends at such a young age. Sirius, as unqualified for the job as he was, had and always would be, his father figure. And as much as Severus hated him, he could not separate them for the sake of his own happiness. And no matter what Harry believed, Severus knew that Black could never accept them being together. Harry would be forced to choose in the end, and the decision would destroy him. Severus knew it was best to end things now before it reached that point.
But even knowing this, he couldn't help but miss Harry.
Harry had fit into his life so perfectly, and although he knew that their relationship would not last forever, he was having a hard time adjusting. His weekends were dull and lonely anymore. He couldn't concentrate on anything without Harry creeping into his thoughts.
He wanted Harry to show up so badly. He wished being with Harry could work without hurting one, or both of them, in the long run.
Harry's twentieth birthday was quickly approaching, and Severus knew Albus would expect him to come to the ridiculous party Black was throwing. Albus knew that they had become friends, so he would think it odd if he did not attend. And since he was unaware of the change of their relationship, he couldn't actually use the truth as an excuse on why he could not go.
If he was honest with himself, however, Severus really didn't want an excuse not to go. He wanted to see Harry, even if it was only as acquaintances. He couldn't imagine having Harry completely removed from his life. He only hoped Harry would be okay with his presence.
On July 31st, Harry woke to Sirius hovering over him. Harry groaned before rolling over and attempting to go back to sleep.
"Happy Birthday!" Sirius shouted at the top of his lungs. Harry was half tempted to hit him. "Time to wake up, it's almost eleven."
"So," Harry moaned, quite distressed to have been forced awake on his own birthday. "I didn't go to bed until five in the morning."
"Well, whose fault is that? Get up and get dressed. Molly will be here in a minute to start making lunch." Sirius then left the room, knowing Harry would get up rather than be rude to Mrs. Weasley. He didn't want to admit why he was up so late.
He realized Dumbledore had been invited to this party, and in all likelihood, would invite Severus as well. But he still wasn't sure if he was happy or upset with the idea of seeing Severus in such a social setting. It would be hard to pretend that nothing had happened between them, but it would be just as bad to be acting oddly in front of everyone. Harry really wasn't sure if he could handle it.
He spent the whole night fighting with his inner self on how he would handle it if Severus did show up, but never actually coming to any conclusion. But after hours of planning, it occurred to him, Severus might never even show and decided that would be worse. Would they cease all communication now that their relationship was over?
Harry tried to put his mind at ease as he made his way downstairs after getting ready. He could hear that Mrs. Weasley had already arrived, and was busying herself in the kitchen. He head into the sitting room where he found Sirius, Danielle, Fred, George, and Mr. Weasley having tea. But there were two extra cups of tea. One only half full.
"Who else is here?" Harry asked, not expecting anything untoward.
"Me." Harry turned around in flash. Charlie Weasley stood behind him, looking better than he ever looked. "Happy Birthday, Harry." He embraced Harry, but he only half returned the hug, still too shocked to dignify more of a response. He had wasted so many hours wondering how he would handle himself if Severus showed up to his party. He never even considered what he would do if Charlie showed.
Charlie then proceeded into the room, sitting in front of the half-full glass of tea. Harry then took the spot in front of the full one, knowing he had absolutely nothing to say.
When Mrs. Weasley announced lunch was ready, Harry practically ran to the kitchen. He didn't want to take any chances of being cornered until he had some time to think about what he would say. He tried to think of something to say to Charlie, but the only thought that occupied his head was that neither Dumbledore or Snape had arrived.
Harry's wait, however, wasn't a long one. As soon as everyone began digging into their chicken and ham pie, footsteps could be heard heading down into the kitchen. More than one set, Harry noticed. Sure enough, Dumbledore, followed by Severus, walked into the kitchen.
"Sorry we're late," the elderly headmaster said, "Sometimes getting ready takes longer than you anticipated. Oh, everything looks lovely, Molly."
Harry didn't listen to any other side conversations. He only noticed Snape, who was avoiding looking at him. In fact, while he seemed to be looking at his meal, Harry noticed him taking curious side glances at Charlie. Charlie didn't seem to notice this, and was too absorbed in trying to fend off the potatoes Fred and George were flinging at him.
The whole meal was incredibly awkward for Harry. Everyone was talking loudly, but Harry tried his best to stay out of the conversation. He threw in a yes or no when he was asked a question, but he never elaborated. After the cake was served (and Fred and George had sung a loud and obnoxious birthday song they wrote specially for Harry), they began to head into the sitting room.
Harry, slipping off to use the loo, was stopped by Charlie's hand on his arm.
"Hey, can we talk in private?"
"Um, sure," Harry said, feeling a little sick, "Just let me.." He didn't finish the sentence, and went into the washroom. He splashed his face with water a few times after relieving himself. He could do this.
Charlie led them into his room. The last time they were in there together had been the day Charlie left him. Harry wanted nothing more than to escape this house entirely and not come back until everyone was gone.
"So, how you been?" Charlie said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Harry remained standing.
"Alright, I guess. How about you?"
"Work is good. I've been a little on edge lately, but then I got the birthday invitation from Sirius, and that brightened me up a bit." Charlie said with a smirk. "So I hear you're single again."
Now Harry was furious, but he wasn't sure if it was with Charlie for mentioning such a thing or Sirius for discussing his personal life with his ex. Charlie must have noticed the change in emotion, since he didn't allow Harry to respond.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's just, I've missed you so much Harry." Charlie then stood up and stood in front of Harry. "Ever since I found out you've been with someone else, I realized leaving you was a huge mistake. I should have tried to make it work."
"No, Charlie, you were right." Harry stepped away to avoid looking Charlie in the eyes. "Your job is in Romania, and you couldn't have given up your career for me. For a war, yes. But not for me."
"No, I couldn't have. But I could have registered for weekend Portkeys back to London. We could have written. We still could, if you wanted. We could both get a Muggle mobile. We can talk every day that way, I've looked them up. It could work." Harry sighed. Just a few months ago, he would have loved nothing more than to hear these words coming from Charlie's mouth. But now, he only wanted Severus. Life was ironic sometimes.
"Charlie," Harry said, knowing this would hurt him just as much as it did when Charlie left him. "I can't. I'm in love with someone else."
"But Sirius said.."
"It's over between us, yes, but that wasn't my decision. I still love him, even if he doesn't want to be with me." Charlie then deflated. "I'm sorry, Charlie, but you're a little late."
"I understand." Charlie whispered. He then gave Harry a quick peck on the cheek, before he left the room and Harry collapsed on his bed. He couldn't go back to the party just yet.
Charlie Weasley wanted to hit himself. Sirius had sent him a letter over a week ago, asking him to come to Harry's birthday party. He mentioned that Harry's casual relationship came to a bit of a rough end, so he thought he would have a decent chance to winning Harry back. He never expected Harry to be in love with this mystery man. He and Harry had been together for over two years before he even uttered the words.
When he had first left Harry, he thought it was for the best. Long distance relationships never worked out well. He wanted a chance for Harry to be happy with someone who could actually be there for him. When he found out Harry was seeing someone, it hurt, but he was glad that Harry was happy. But nonetheless, he couldn't help but feel insanely jealous.
Sirius had said Harry wanted to make their relationship more serious, but the man turned him down. He couldn't imagine anyone not returning Harry's feelings after getting to know him. He must be an idiot.
He rejoined the party, trying his best to hide his rejection. It was unnecessary, however, since no one seemed to notice his hurt feelings or the fact that Harry wasn't even in the room. Everyone was having too much fun, except Snape of course. He seemed to be glaring at anyone who looked his way. Charlie raised his eyebrows at his former professor, and the man scowled heavily and stepped out of the room. Charlie almost laughed. He didn't understand why the man continued to come to their get-togethers if he always had such a miserable time.
Severus was not spying on Harry. He did not follow him down to hall to see him enter his room with his former lover. He just happened to need a bit of space from the rambunctious party goers. He hadn't been tempted to put a sound amplifier on the door.
Okay, so he was tempted. But knowing the only spell that would actually work would likely be heard throughout the whole house, he suppressed his desire to know what was being said inside. He hated to think that Charlie was in there giving him a very special birthday present. The man had given Harry up, he didn't deserve him anymore.
Not wanting to get caught standing in the hall in case they decided to leave the room, Severus went back to the party and waited for Harry's return. He glared at Albus who seemed to be transfiguring anything within range into party decorations with a joyous expression on his face. The Weasley twins were running around offering suspicious looking sweets. Severus knew better than to consume anything from those two.
He stopped paying attention to anyone else when Charlie walked into the room looking solemn. When he looked his way, Severus scowled before leaving the room. He was just going to make sure Harry was alright, and then he would be leaving. He missed Harry, but he certainly didn't miss being subjected to his friends.
He entered the room without knocking. Harry sat up from the sound of the door opening, and Severus was relieved when Harry gave him a brilliant smile.
"Hey," Harry said, looking uncertain. "I'm glad you came."
"I saw Charlie leave; I thought you might need to talk." Severus said, sitting down next to Harry. He hoped that Harry would not tell him he still had feelings for Charlie.
"No, I'm fine," Harry said, half-laughing. "He wanted to get back together actually, so if anyone needs to talk, it'd be him."
"You didn't accept his offer then?" Severus asked.
"No," Harry said with a smile, "I told him I was in love with an idiot who refuses to be with me even though we both admit we like each other. Well, I told him I was in love with someone else, anyhow."
"No, please don't," Harry pleaded. "Don't say anything else stupid. I can't take it today. It's my birthday."
"Well, why aren't you enjoying your party then? I saw a substantial amount of presents piled up in there. Don't you want to open them?"
"I'd rather be here," Harry said, "with you."
"Harry, I know you don't want me to say anything in regard to this," Severus said seriously, hoping Harry wouldn't stop him again. "But I think I owe you a better explanation."
Harry nodded, and Severus knew he was curious to know the true reasons for his reluctance to take their relationship to the next step. Although admitting this would be embarrassing, he felt Harry deserved the truth.
"What I said about Black never accepting us still stands," he said with conviction. "You need him in your life. Fighting him on this will affect you greatly. But also, it would affect me. You know my history with him, and with your father. I'm not ready to have those old wounds opened up again. It would be worth it of course, if our relationship worked. But if it didn't, we wouldn't be able to have the friendship we share anymore. Black would make things very difficult for me. It wouldn't be worth it for a short time of happiness. It would be too painful."
"So you're entire reasoning is based on the fact that we wouldn't work out? You're expecting our relationship to fail!" Harry shouted. "Take a chance, Severus. Take a chance on me."
"I don't want to lose you, Harry. I'd rather have your friendship for life, than all of you temporarily."
"Can't we just promise we'll always be friends? It might not work, yeah, but if it doesn't we can still be friends. I promise."
"But once Black knows the truth, he will do everything in his power to separate us. He wouldn't want us to be together, even as friends. I'm not prepared to deal with that." Severus hung his head, and didn't protest when Harry leaned into him and grabbed his hand. Their fingers interlaced, and Severus would be lying if he said the action wasn't comforting.
"How about we compromise then," Harry said, squeezing Severus' hand lightly. "We try and have a relationship, behind Sirius' back. When it becomes clear whether or not we have a fair chance of working out, we'll tell him. Or not, depending on what we decide. But if you ask me, we'll work, Severus. I know it."
"You're too optimistic," Severus said, almost smiling. "When did that happen?"
"Since I met you actually." Then Harry kissed Severus with all he had to offer. Severus savored the feeling of being with Harry in this way. It wasn't the first time they had ever kissed, but it was the first time it had been for a purpose other than foreplay. It was wonderful.
If he was thinking clearly, instead of with his love-sick mind, he would have remembered they were in Grimmauld Place, at Harry's birthday party. He would have expected someone to come looking for him. But he didn't, which is why both of them were caught off guard when Sirius entered the room.
Harry was in awe.
It was funny how worried he was the night before, thinking what he would say to Severus if he showed up to his party, because the second he walked into his room, everything came so easily. He was so happy Severus had admitted his fears to him, but even more so that he had agreed to have a relationship with him. Harry didn't want to hide it, but if it helped eased Severus' worries, he would it do it for the time being. He was just glad to be kissing him again. To be able to hold his hand without him pulling away. It was bliss.
But Harry should have learned by now that bliss never lasted. Something always happened to take it away. Alas, Harry did not remember, and he allowed himself to get lost in Severus. When the door opened, he hardly took notice. Until of course, Sirius made his presence known.
"GET THE FUCK AWAY HIM, SNIVELLUS!" Sirius shouted, holding his wand out. Harry stood in front of Snape holding his hands up, hoping to diffuse the situation.
"Sirius, stop, please, just stop." Sirius shook his head, and Harry hated him in that moment. "Why do you have to be such an idiot sometimes?"
"I'm the idiot? Me? I'm not the one getting off with Snape! Seriously, Harry, I know you're hurting, but I'm sure you can find a better rebound then this," he spat gesturing towards Severus. "At least someone who won't get grease marks all over you."
"SIRIUS! That's enough," Harry shouted, desperately hoping he wouldn't say anything else in front of Snape. "Just get out of my room."
"I'm not leaving you alone with him," Sirius said with assurance. "And don't give me that, I'm an adult shite, because you're hurting, and he's taking advantage of you."
"Sirius, you have no idea what you're talking about," Harry whispered, wishing he could have told his godfather in a more conventional way. "Severus isn't taking advantage of me. He's the guy I've been seeing."
Sirius shook his head in disgust. He seemed at a loss of words, for which Harry was thankful. He knew if he did say anything, it would just be more cruelty towards Severus.
"Please just leave, Sirius," Harry said, with desperation. Sirius did, after shooting a few more disgusted looks at Severus.
Harry turned to look at Severus. He didn't look upset, but he was obviously feeling some kind of resentment. Harry tried to grab his hand again, but wasn't surprised when he pulled away. Sirius had the worse timing ever.
"I should go," Severus said. "You need to return to your party."
"I'm coming over tonight, Severus." Harry commanded.
"I really don't think.."
"I'm coming." Severus than nodded his head and Harry prepared himself to go back into his party, and maybe kill Sirius if he had to.
The party did not last after that. Sirius, in his fury, requested for everyone to leave. At first everyone was worried, asking Harry if he was alright. He apologized for Sirius' behavior, and thanked them for coming. He knew that he and Sirius needed to talk, and having that conversation with a room of observers (especially Charlie) was not an ideal situation.
Danielle stayed a bit longer than the rest, in an attempt to calm Sirius down, but saw that it was hopeless. She was obviously confused, but when Sirius promised to come over when he was 'done speaking with Harry,' she left without any question.
When they were alone, Harry wasn't sure what to expect. Yelling? Disappointment? Resentment? He just couldn't be sure. Likely, a combination of the three.
"Harry, I just need you to tell me this isn't happening," Harry just shut his eyes, seriously contemplating feeding Sirius' denial. "I mean, how could you?"
"I love him." Harry said simply. If he wanted things to work with him and Severus, he knew he needed his godfather's acceptance.
"Uhh," Sirius cringed. "How can you do this to me?"
"Do this to you? Merlin, you really are a self-righteous, arrogant prat! Can't you just try and understand?"
"No, no." He answered, shaking his head repeatedly. "No I can't fucking understand! You've been seeing him for almost a year behind my back. You didn't think to mention you were sleeping with my enemy all this time?"
"Your enemy? You mean the guy you tormented when you were in school?"
"What has he been telling you? He was never innocent, Harry! Never, he usually always started it."
"Who cares who started what! It was over twenty years ago! Don't you think it's time to let it go?" Harry said, exasperated.
"Not when he's manipulating my godson into thinking he loves him. I can't get over that!"
"He's not manipulating me! He makes me happy. He cares about me. He loves me." Harry whispered the last words, not a hundred percent sure if they were true. He hoped Severus felt the same way about him, but couldn't be certain. Either way, Sirius didn't need to know if he didn't.
"Harry, did you forget he was a Death Eater? He's killed people."
"I know more about what he's done than you do, trust me." Harry said, remembering that horrible chat they had about murder. He had had anxieties about being able to kill Voldemort, so Severus came clean with him about what it was like. The only time he truly opened up to Harry when he had been a student. "Did you forget without him I probably would have been killed by Voldemort? I could have never done it without him."
"Is that what this is? You think you owe him for training you?"
"You really don't get it, do you? I love him. L-O-V-E, Love him. Not because he's manipulating me into thinking so, not because I feel that I owe him, and not for any other reason besides that he makes me happy. He cares about me, and I care about him. I'm happy when I'm with him."
"You make me sick." Sirius said, looking at Harry like he had never looked at him before. Harry was devastated. He never thought anything could come between him and Sirius, but he was wrong. He had really underestimated Sirius' hatred for Severus. "If James were here, he'd back me up on this."
"Fine," Harry said in defeat. He wasn't surprised Sirius would bring up his dad in an attempt to persuade him. The argument usually worked, but it wouldn't this time. It didn't matter what his dad would think. He loved Severus. "Then I guess I'll get out of your way."
Harry then pushed past Sirius, ready to leave, before being pulled back by his arm.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Where do you think?" Harry said, pulling his arm free. Then he walked out and Disapparated.
Harry Apparated to Severus' home in complete dismay. He couldn't believe Sirius would say something like that to him. He knew that he hated Snape, but throughout the war, they seemed to work together when they had to. He thought he could at least respect him for what he did for all of them.
But he was wrong.
Severus answered the door before Harry even knocked.
"Are you okay?" Harry could only shake his head in response. He was nowhere near okay. After the hurtful things Sirius had said, plus the knowledge of why he was here, was too much.
Severus had made his feelings very clear. He would not continue their relationship without Sirius giving Harry his blessing. Obviously, that would not be happening. It was all pointless to Harry, however, since he had no plans on forgiving Sirius without his blessing. So in the end, he would lose his lover and his godfather. Leaving Harry truly alone.
"Any chance you've had a change of heart?" Harry asked, feeling nothing close to hopeful. "I could stay here. He wouldn't interfere."
"Yes he would," Severus answered simply. "Besides, you need him Harry. He's important to you, which is why this hurts so badly."
"You're important to me."
"But he will always be there for you, I can't promise you that."
"No he won't, and this proves it," Harry said. "He only cares about me when it suits him. If he truly cared, he would be happy that I was happy, no matter who I was with. He doesn't care."
"He does care, Harry," Snape said, with no malice whatsoever for once. "He just can't believe that you could be happy with someone like me."
"So, why can't we prove him wrong? Let's prove him wrong!" he said in complete desperation.
"I know, I know. I just, I love you." Harry realized it was the first time Harry had uttered the words to Severus himself, rather than a third party. "I don't want to lose you."
"Trust me," he replied, looking more upset than Harry had ever seen him. "I'm losing much more than you."
"No." He stated. "You're not losing anything. You're giving it away."
There were no words after that, only silent goodbyes.
Harry returned home to an unexpected house guest. Charlie Weasley sat on the couch waiting for him. Sirius was, thankfully, absent.
"Hey," Charlie said awkwardly. "Sorry for letting myself in. I just wanted to make sure you were okay after everything that happened today."
"I'm not okay." Harry didn't bother to elaborate. His heart was broken by the same man who had comforted him when Charlie had left him, so he didn't think it would be appropriate to let his feelings out to him. Especially considering that only a few hours ago he had been trying to make amends and re-establish their relationship.
"So, Snape huh?" Harry looked at Charlie with wide-eyes for a moment, wondering if Sirius had gone and told him. "I kind of figured it out. I guess Sirius didn't take it very well."
"That's the understatement of the century. You're not mad at me?"
"Well, I can't pretend I understand it," Charlie said candidly. "But I trust your judgment. Besides, you probably know him better than anyone else. I just want you to be happy, Harry. That's all I ever wanted."
"I guess I'm disappointing you then, huh?"
"Give it time. Things will work out. They usually do in the end." Charlie said, in an attempt to be comforting, but Harry wasn't convinced.
"Point taken." Then Charlie smiled, and Harry smiled back. Things may not have worked out in their relationship, but he realized then, they could be friends. And he'd take any silver lining he could get.
The following morning, Harry woke up to both Sirius and Danielle having breakfast in the kitchen. He tried his best to ignore their presence.
"Good morning," Danielle greeted him. Sirius avoided looking in Harry's direction. "Would you like something to eat?"
"Good morning, Danielle," Harry said, putting emphasis on her name, "And no thanks, just tea today. I'm feeling a bit sick." Harry said, throwing Sirius' words back at him.
"Yeah, I'd feel sick too if I spent the night with that greasy git," Sirius spat maliciously.
"Don't say that!" Harry snapped, forgetting his plans to ignore Sirius. He hated that he was doing the very thing Snape had accused him of doing.
"I'll say whatever I want about that manipulating son-of-a-bitch. I'm not going to sit by and let him do this to you. I'll stop him."
"What's so funny?"
"Severus was right about you. When I first asked him to take our relationship to the next level, he said no, because he knew you'd react this way."
"He knew I'd work out what he was doing to you and stop it, you mean?" Sirius interrupted.
"He knew you'd be a selfish prat who couldn't take his head out of his arse." Harry shot back before he could add, "He knew you would make me miserable if you found out. He didn't want our relationship to suffer."
"And why would he care about that?"
"Because, unlike you, he cares about more than himself."
Sirius shot up out of his chair, looking quite frightening. "I care about you, Harry! That's why I can't let him do this to you!"
"Do what exactly? I really want to know. Is it that he cares about me? That he makes me happier than I've been for a long time?" Harry said in a rough whisper. He was half-tempted to cry, but wouldn't allow himself to in front of Sirius. "That's what he's doing, Sirius, and you fighting it only means that you don't care about my happiness."
"You don't know what you're saying."
Harry closed his eyes, realizing it was stupid to ever get into this conversation. Sirius was so unreasonable. He just wanted to get out of the room, or more preferably, the house. But once again, he found himself with nowhere to go.
Three weeks went by after that, and Harry stayed true to himself and did not talk to Sirius anymore. He went to Auror class and would come home to sleep. On the weekends, he trapped himself in his room. He did everything he could to try and avoid his godfather. At first, Sirius didn't seem to mind, but after the first two weeks, he attempted to speak to Harry.
Every time he did, Harry would walk past him without acknowledging him. He never brought up Severus again, usually just trying to greet him with a hello or a good morning. But Harry would not speak to him without an apology.
He never expected one to come.
"He still won't talk to me," Sirius said as he plopped down into his girlfriend's bed. "I don't know what to do."
"Did you ever think of apologizing to him?"
"For not giving him your blessing." She said, not understanding why Sirius was so adamant that his godson shouldn't spend time with this older man. She understood it was a bit unconventional, but they were both adults and could make their own decisions.
"I can't do that. You don't know Snape like I do. He's a Death Eater."
"But I thought he helped in the war. You told me yourself he trained Harry while he was in school."
"Only because Dumbledore made him. He only did it to escape Azkaban, trust me. He's nothing more than a coward." Danielle didn't think any of that made sense. From what she had heard from Sirius and Harry, Snape seemed to be on the right side. He seemed to be a decent man, even if he sometimes was a bit of a git.
"Are you sure you're not just holding onto some old grudges? The way I see it, he made up for any mistakes he's made in the past. Don't you think it's time to let it go?"
"You think he should be forgiven for murder?" Sirius asked, half shouting. He never yelled at Danielle, and she was surprised to see this side of him.
"Who did he murder?"
"Who knows," Sirius said, shoving away the question like it held no importance. "But that's what Death Eaters do. They're nothing but murdering scum."
"Sirius, you're condemning this man for something you have no proof that he's done."
"I don't need proof."
"That was probably the same thing the Wizengamot said when they threw you into Azkaban." Danielle said, knowing she struck a nerve. But she needed to help him see that he was wrong. Harry would never be happy with Sirius acting this way, and Sirius would never be happy without having his godson being a part of his life. She knew Sirius had to be the one to fix it, and she would do everything she could to do so.
"That's not the same," Sirius said unsure of himself. "It's..Snape is.."
"The guy who makes Harry happy, and you're.."
"The guy standing in his way, I get your point, but why does it have to be him? Can't he find someone else? Anyone else?"
"Unfortunately, you don't get to make that choice for him."
Sirius hated his life.
He had tried to talk to Harry in order to be granted atonement, but was denied like the many times before. Danielle had told him he only had one more option, and although he would rather be anywhere else in the world, he was standing in front of the home of Severus Snape.
"Mind telling me what you're doing here?" Snape's voice deadpanned into his ears from out of nowhere.
"I need to talk to you," Sirius mumbled, hating himself more and more. He wanted to shout out, curse him, but knew he had to do this to get Harry to forgive him. "Please."
The front door opened then, and the man stood tall, wand in hand, and completely blocking the entrance of his home.
"Can I come in?"
"I think not."
"Fine," Sirius said, trying very hard to hold his tongue. "Let's get this over with then. Harry is my godson, and I care more about him than anything else in the world. And for some unknown reason, he seems to need you to be happy." Sirius sighed, wishing he didn't have to do this.
"Will you get on with it Black, I'm a busy man." Snape said, sounding bored. But if Sirius had known Severus at all, he would be able to see that he was extremely anxious.
"I am giving you and Harry my blessing."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because for the last three weeks, I have watched him mope around the house over you. He won't even speak to me. But I swear, if you ever hurt him, I will kill you myself."
"Charming speech," Severus said, not wanting to sound too desperate himself. "Why don't you tell him this yourself?"
"I've already said! He won't speak to me! So get your undeserving arse out here and go see him before I just decide to Oblivate the lot of you."
"As if you could.."
Harry was spending his Saturday in his room, studying some work for his Auror class. He already knew all the information like the back of his hand, but had nothing else to do. Ever since he lost Severus, his life just seemed to be a huge blur. His focused so much on his Auror training that he had become the best in his class. He would have been proud of this accomplishment, if he wasn't so depressed.
He heard a knock on the door, but ignored it like he always did. Sirius kept attempting to talk to him, but Harry had locked the doors preventing him entrance, and would not speak to him. If he did, it would only end in a fight, and he had no desire to add any more drama into his life.
"Harry," Severus' voice sounded behind the door. Harry didn't think he could have gotten up any quicker if he tried. When he opened the door, he found Severus standing there with Sirius. It was the most unexpected sight.
"Severus." Harry smiled. It felt so good just to be close to him again.
"Harry," Sirius said from behind. "I'm sorry. I was wrong. I'm not saying I understand it, and I certainly don't like it, but if you are happy then, well, I'll accept it."
Harry's smile got brighter as he jumped up into Severus' arms, kissing the man soundly like he had wanted to since they last did in the very room they stood in. When they pulled apart, Sirius was looking at them disgusted, yet still trying to hide it. Giving his reaction the last time he saw them share such an intimate moment, Harry considered it an improvement.
"Thank you," Harry said to his godfather. Sirius nodded, then made a hasty exit down the stairs.
"I told you he would accept us eventually," Harry said, wanting to boast about being right.
"You did," Severus said with a smile, reaching out to hold Harry's hand. "Color me surprised when he showed up on my doorstep."
"That must have been interesting," Harry laughed, wishing he could have witnessed such a thing. "I missed you."
"My life was less than pleasing without your regular visits." Severus said, trying his hardest not to sound too loving. It was, for lack of a better word, adorable.
"Do you think he'll ever get used to seeing together?" Harry asked referring to Sirius. "He looked close to hurling a moment ago."
"Oh, I certainly hope not," Severus replied with a smirk. Leave it to him to find enjoyment out of torturing Sirius. But in this case, Harry didn't mind. Because for once in his life, everything was finally going the way it should.
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