The Scariest Couple

Chapter 1

Starting the Courtship

By Demon-of-Cats

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, the Tite does. I own my OC's and OOC's

Warnings: This is AU and has some spoilers along with some coarse language. I would have nixed the language but, Kenny wouldn't let me. Kenpachi/Unohana centric.

No Flames please, but constructive criticism is welcome.

Timing: This starts about a week after Sajin's appearance changes in Chapter 23 of my Mi Hermano AU.

Kenpachi Zaraki sat on the wall surrounding the Squad Eleven training grounds and for once, just watched the goings on within.

He wasn't afraid or anything like that, hell no. He could mop the floor with the losers down there. None of them could match him.

Romance however, that he was afraid of, or at least uncertain of. You couldn't get a woman to like you in simple ways, there were rules and regulations tied to each woman. Every woman was different too, so what worked on one wouldn't necessarily work on another.

Women were complicated creatures.i

And the one he was after could scare the members of his squad with words not even remotely harsh and a tone that seemed so gentle.

Yet, that simple tone also held all the ferocity of a storm.

Retsu Unohana, what a woman she was indeed. Powerful and beautiful, with just a single hint of nonconformity in her nature, if that braid had anything to say about it.

Kenpachi sighed as he thought about her, how to go about wooing her, what she would be like in bed . . .

He'd been with his fair share of women in bed, he wasn't a virgin by a long shot.

She would probably look down on that, but it wasn't like Kenpachi to give up before he started. If she looked down on him for it then she wasn't the woman he thought she was, but here he was judging her before she even got the chance to judge him.

He wasn't a slut, neither were the woman he had been with. Both parties had needed a single time, to release their unspent need, never to see one another again. He had taken measures to make sure of that as well.

No death involved, thankfully, just simple preventative measures to make sure. He wasn't as much of an idiot as people thought him to be, in fact he liked to think at times. He just preferred fighting to thinking. Instinct drove him in his fights, he knew how to move to win. When he didn't, he learned how and drew on what he knew to win.

Kenpachi finally sighed and then glanced around before heading to his room. He took the bells from his hair and allowed it to fall loose around his face and then combed it so it wasn't in his eyes. He looked in the mirror and nodded at his reflection then paused. He had never noticed before, but with his hair down he didn't look as . . . what was the word . . . feral perhaps . . . or even fierce.

He looked . . . handsome.

He then grinned as an idea struck him.

In Squad Four Unohana was busily working. She wandered around for a bit and then, once she was done she made some tea for herself. She drank the calming brew slowly as she watched the sky.

She thought back on her past, and wondered if the one man whom had her heart even cared for her.

She wouldn't try to be different for him, she had done that once when she had been very young.

It hadn't ended well.

She didn't even want to think about it but, the memories pained her.

She would wake from nightmares and find tears in her eyes, remembering that terrible time.

"Retsu," a voice called her out of the past and back to the present and she turned to the man that had called her by her first name.

Her eyes began to sting the moment he saw him, but she held back the bitter tears and instead spoke, "It is Captain Unohana to you."

The man frowned and then walked forward into the moonlight. He had long silver green hair, which blew free in the wind yet looked immaculately cared for. He also had a black shihakushĂ´ of a squad member and smiled pleasantly to her quite suddenly, "I just wanted to see an old fried again."

"We are no longer friends Mr. . . . what is your name now any way. You change it so often I can't keep track."

"Ryu now actually," the man growled.

Unohana nodded and then said, "Leave now Mr. Ryu. I don't wish to deal with your lies tonight.

Ryu growled again and then smiled suddenly, "But I came to tell you I forgive you Retsu. I forgive what you put me through in that prison."

Unohana let her composure slip for a moment, "YOU PUT YOURSELF THERE WHEN YOU-" she caught herself, "it was your own fault."

"Your evidence put me there," Ryu said and took a few steps forward, "If you hadn't come forward, I would have been a free man."


"No. I want you to apologize to me."

"I will not apologize for doing what was right! You had to learn what you did to me was wrong! I couldn't let you, continue to harm other women!"

From a distance Kenpachi watched as Retsu verbally sparred with a silver haired man, demanding that he leave several times. Her normally calm exterior was beginning to change into someone backed into a corner. Tears were forming in her eyes.

The tears were not lost on Ryu, and he thought them a victory.

"May I cut in," a deep voice to Ryu's right spoke and suddenly the blade of a zanpaku-tĂ´ was at his throat, "To your throat for making Lady Unohana cry."

The blade looked beaten up but it easily sliced into his flesh leaving a tiny, warning cut on his neck.

Ryu turned his head slightly and instantly knew he was doomed, especially when Captain Kenpachi Zaraki had a blade to his throat.

Unohana's eyes widened as she took in the sight of him. His usually tattered clothing had been replaced by a very fashionable kimono and his hair was down and well combed. He still wore the eye patch, which was probably the only reason that Ryu hadn't passed out yet.

He cleaned up well.

Who'd have guessed.

"Don't slit his throat," Unohana said as her calm began to return, "Just throw him into Squad Eleven training grounds in the morning and have him 'work' with the rest."

Kenpachi grinned, a very demonic look, then he disappeared for several minutes.

When he reappeared he was in Squad Eleven and dragged Ryu to Ikkaku's room, then told his third seat to keep an eye on the bastard and beat him to a pulp in the morning.

"Unohana said for me to work with the rest! Not for me to be beaten to a pulp!" Ryu cried.

Kenpachi turned and glanced at the man, "That is what you get for causing tears to come to Unohana's eyes. You cause them again and I will kill you," he then walked out

Ryu was about to protest and then paused when he heard the sound of a fist meeting a palm. There were several members of Squad Eleven there now, all of them respected Captain Unohana and to hear that this man had nearly made her cry.

From the distance Kenpachi heard Ryu scream in pain and smiled to himself as he reentered the clearing that he had just dragged the bastard from.

She was still there, and she gave him a look that was almost shy.

"May I sit with you?" Kenpachi asked.

"Yes," Unohana said, "Would you like some tea?"

"Of course," Kenpachi said as he sat next to her. He accepted the cup she gave him and smiled at the scent of it before taking a sip.

End Chapter 1

i This comes from a woman, people.