A/N: Ok, so anyone who read the last chapter of my other story saw that I said I was working on an mpreg. A few people said they'd be interested in reading it so here's the first chapter. The information on male pregnancy is, of course, something I pulled out of my ass at random. I know boys can't get pregnant, so you can stop worrying about my sanity. Also, the part where Kurt is talking about abortion. I'm not trying to spread anti-abortion feelings or anything, so if you don't agree with it then just know I really didn't mean to offend you and please don't flame me. Do NOT read if you have a problem with male pregnancy, slash, or ooc Puck. The whole 'pregnancy pact' thing was something I got from and episode of Bones, so I don't own that. I know the whole idea is unrealistic. It's fiction, it's allowed to be that way. I don't own glee, nor do I own Juno, which isn't mentioned but there are two references to it, when Kurt and Mercedes are talking. So yeah, I own nothing. Thanks for reading.
When Mercedes and Quinn walked into glee on Thursday they knew something was wrong with Kurt. He was sitting in the back row, staring into space and, looked like shit. They exchanged concerned glances as they sat down on either side of him.
"Kurt," Quinn started hesitantly. "What's wrong?"
Kurt glanced at them then continued to stare onto space. "Nothing, just tired."
"Kurt, honey, we know you." Mercedes said. "And you're definitely not okay, so something has to be wrong. We're your friends, you can tell us anything."
Kurt smiled at her, but his eyes were still glazed and sad. "Nothing's wrong Cedes, I'm just tired, really."
"Stop with the bullshit," Quinn said. Everyone was now staring at the three in the corner since none of them had really ever heard Quinn curse before. And all the puzzled looks in their direction were probably what sent Kurt into raspy, broken, sobs. The tears poured down his face and he was gasping, desperately trying to suck in air. Mercedes pulled him in for a hug looked at Quinn as if to say not your fault. Quinn just rubbed Kurt's shoulder while he cried into Mercedes' shoulder. The rest of the club was continuing to stare at them, now more out of concern than shock.
Eventually, Kurt stopped crying and the sobs turned into shuddery breathing. He sat up and looked at Quinn sadly. "Quinnie? On a scale of one to ten how bad is being pregnant?"
Quinn looked at him like he had lost his mind. "Well when your looking at baby clothes and feeling it kick it's a one. When your puking your guts up or giving birth it's like a fifty and all you really want to do is rip someone's throat out. Why?"
Kurt took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."
They just stared at him. "That's not possible. You're male, you don't have the right parts."
"I looked it up one in fifty guys is a carrier. That means that they have a little shriveled up uterus with one or two little ovaries attached. They aren't big enough to cause a menstrual cycle and most carriers never even know because in order to get pregnant they'd have to be gay and be a carrier and have unprotected sex exactly when an egg was released and the chances of all of those things happening are next to none. And even fewer of the guys who get pregnant actually have the baby, most of them just get an abortion. So the men who have given birth are maybe 2. Ever. And they were in some far away country and were convinced it was a sign from God or something. And one of the two died. So pretty much there was a snowball's chance in hell that it would happen to me, but of course, it did."
"Oh," Quinn said. "So are you going to get an abortion?"
"That would be the smart thing to do, to just get rid of it, forget about it, and be more careful next time. But I can't. This kid hasn't done anything to deserve to get it's brain sucked out with a needle. It's not done anything to me, I can't kill it. It just wouldn't seem right to me."
Mercedes pulled Kurt into another hug. "You're not going to go through this alone."
Kurt smiled. "I know. I know I'll have you and Quinn and everyone."
Mercedes looked at him seriously. "No, I mean you're not going to be the only one going through it, pregnancy- I mean."
"Oh my God, Cedes, are you pregnant, too?"
"Not yet, but I'm going to be."
"No, Mercedes You are no going to get knocked up and ruin your life just because I'm stupid. I'm not going to be able to go to college or anything. You can."
"I can do what I please. And I've kind of always wanted to be a mom."
"I'm doing this too," Quinn said. "Beth can have a little brother or sister."
Tina moved closer. "Me too," She smiled at Kurt.
Brittany skipped forward. "If you guys all get to be pregnant, I want to be pregnant too!"
Santana followed reluctantly. "I guess if Britt's doing this, I will too."
Slowly Rachel came over too. "Like I can really be the only one not in on this." She grinned.
Kurt shook his head at them. "No. This is my mistake. I'll deal with it. No need to bring you all into it, I'll be fine."
Quinn looked at him. "Yeah, right. Do you even know who the dad is? Does he know you're pregnant? Is he going to help with the baby?"
"Yes to the first two, no to the last one. To be involved with this baby he'd be admitting to having sex with the gay kid and even if it was just a moment of confusion, it'd still ruin his reputation."
"So? It's his fucking kid!" Quinn apparently was on a role with the curses.
"Yeah, but it's not his fault. He didn't know I could get pregnant and I didn't really insist on a condom."
"His sperm, his problem."
"That's just it. It would be a problem. And I'm not putting that on him. He can go on with his life."
"You know this whole trying to spare people thing is going to get you smacked," Mercedes stated. "But the point is, you don't have a baby daddy. And we could all have kids the same age. They'd grow up together, be in the same school, maybe maybe not be friends. It could be fun."
"Yes, cause lugging around a small person and then having it rip out your ass seems like a blast." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Well we're doing this. Like it or lump it, by the end of this month, we'll all be pregnant if at all possible."
Kurt sighed. "Fine. Once you get something in that thick skull of your's it's there to stay, I guess." then he smiled at all of them. "I officially have the six best friends in the history of forever, you know that right?"
"Were a team." Tina said.
"Yeah, when one of us is in some deep shit we're all in it." Santana said.
Rachel just grinned. "We're all in this together!" she sang loudly.
"Shut up!" everyone else yelled.
"How far along are you?" Quinn asked.
"Umm… let's see… I guess about five weeks."
"Okay, that means if we want to be due anywhere near the same time as Kurt we need to do this thing ASAP. Which means we need to figure out who were gonna get the other 23 chromosomes from."
"I've got Artie." Tina said.
"Finn," Rachel said.
"Whoever I hook up with next."
Brittany, Mercedes, and Quinn looked at each other. Quinn looked at the guys, who had observed the whole thing quietly. "Would any of you guys be willing to do this? Please?" Mike, Matt, and Puck all exchanged looks.
Mike was the first to speak. "Sure, why not."
Matt just nodded. Everyone looked at Puck.
He just shook his head. "No. I'm sorry, but no."
"Ok, well. I think Mike should help Mercedes because a half Asian, half black baby would be adorable." Both Mike and Mercedes shrugged and nodded to show that that was fine by them.
"I'd rather help Brittany, if that's okay. Since she's one of my best friends, I'd just feel more comfortable with it." Matt said.
"Okey dokey." Quinn said. She thought for a minute. "I've got nothing. I don't really want to hook up with a random guy like Santana, but who else could I get to do this?"
"I can," Kurt volunteered.
"Um… How exactly?" Quinn asked.
He laughed. "Just because I'm gay doesn't mean that my dick doesn't work right. I'll think of something, I don't know, maybe watch some porn before hand. But if you guys can all do this for me, then I can definitely help all I can."
"Yeah, but I thought it would be kind of cool if none of them were actually related, you know, just in case any of them wanted to get married eventually."
"Well, my baby would have the mother chromosomes from me and your baby would have the father chromosomes from me, so they wouldn't be that closely related. And you can list the father as unknown."
"Ok," Quinn said. "That might work. So it's settled. And I think we should all try to be pregnant by next Friday. That gives us like a week." All the girls nodded. "And we shouldn't let anyone know about our plan until we're all pregnant." She glanced at Puck. "You won't tell anyone will you? Please?"
He sighed. "No, I'm not going to tell anyone. I have a reason I wouldn't do this, trust me."
"What's the reason?"
"I can't tell you."
"Of course you can't."
"It's just, I'm kind of dealing with something right now. It's really important."
Quinn studied him. "Ok I believe you. But you still better not tell anyone.":
"Don't worry, I won't"
Kurt looked at them. "This is still a horrible idea. You guys should not be screwing up your lives just because I couldn't fucking keep it in my pants. You're not going to be able to do what you have planned for your lives if you just up and decide to have a baby because your friend is. Rachel won't make it to Broadway. Mercedes won't become a doctor. None of you will be able to accomplish what you wanted to!"
Quinn rolled her eyes at him. "I've already got a kid. I'm not going to college or Broadway. I'm already stuck in Lima. And everyone else knows what they're giving up. And who says Rachel can't make it to Broadway and Cedes can't become a doctor? We're all going to be in on this, which means if someone needed to watch their kid for a while, we could. We can do this. We're a team and we stick together."
"Yeah, you're saying that now. But what about when you're all puking your guts out or having back pains? Then you're going to realize that this isn't just a game, this is a life commitment that you decided on in a split second."
"At least we got to choose. You didn't have a choice. We do and we've made it. We are doing this," Rachel said. "And I think that, although we will have baby daddies, that we should be each other's main support."
"Think about this." Kurt said. "You're going to loose friends. Santana and Britt will get kicked off the Cheerios. Some of you might get kicked out of your house. And what if not all off you can get pregnant? Or even if everyone does, what if one person miscarries? Then we have on person who's sad and all her friends remind her of what happened. And most of the people in this town will hate all of us, they'll know we planned it and they won't like it. Just, let me do this alone. I'll be fine, I'll manage by myself."
Everyone was surprised when Puck spoke. "Kurt, these guys are all your friends. If they want to do this completely creepy, yet still slightly sweet, sisterhood pregnancy thing for you, you should let them. And all seven of you have all us guys- yes me too." He said when he noticed Quinn's look. "Just because I didn't want to donate sperm to the cause doesn't mean I'm not helping. If any of you need a ride to the doctor, or somewhere to crash, or just someone to listen to your hormone-induced bitching, I'm here. And so are Artie, Finn, Mike, and Matt. We're all here for you because we are a team and we stick together." The other eleven people in the room stared at him with their mouths hanging open. Who knew Puck could give a pep talk? He looked at them defensively. "What? I can be a nice person!" They all laughed.
"Okay," Kurt said. "I cave. But if any of you need anything you better come to me. And thanks, I love you guys."
Santana snorted. "Well were definitely not doing this because we hate you." And with that they dropped the subject, falling into the seat closest to them rather than migrating to their normal parts of the choir room. Kurt's hands were nervously fiddling with the blue button-up shirt that covered his still flat stomach.
Mercedes looked at him and smiled sadly. "This is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet."
Kurt laughed. "Thanks Cedes. Maybe when I go into labor I can scream 'thunder cats are go.'"
"Maybe, yeah." She chuckled. Then, without warning, Kurt crawled onto her lap, pulled his knees to his chin, wrapped his arms around her neck, and buried his face in her shoulder. She hugged him and rocked back and forth, whispering "It's ok" Over and over on his ear.
He sat up. "No it's not. What if my dad kicks me out when I tell him?"
"He won't. Have you thought about how you're going to tell him?"
"I'm debating between 'My eggo is preggo' and 'Don't worry, the abnormal growth on my stomach will be gone in 9 months.'"
Quinn laughed. "I like the first one. Or you could always get someone to sing it to him at the dinner table."
"Do you think I could get away with not telling him and wearing really baggy clothes?"
"And say what when you come home with a baby?" Mercedes asked.
"I found it in a box on the curb?" Kurt said hopefully.
"No." Quinn and Mercedes said at the same time.
"Damn," Kurt sighed.
"Hey guys," Mr. Shue said as he walked in the door, oblivious to how everyone fell silent as he walked in the room. "So, I have an assignment for this week. You're each going to choose one of your gleemates and at the next glee rehearsal you are going to sing to them and the rest of the club has to guess who you were singing to. I expect everyone to have their song figured out by then. You have the rest of the practice to debate your song choice. Oh. And no telling each other who you're planning on singing to. I want to see how this works out, ok?" Everyone nodded. Mrs. Pillsbury walked by the choir room. "And I'm just going to step out of the room for a minute, I'll be back." He left the room and hurried down the hall after the guidance counselor. Everyone else immediately started whispering or pulled out their ipod and scrolled through their songs. No one told who they were singing about, except for Brittany, who whispered to Santana "Do you think this is a good song to sing to you?"
Kurt on the other hand was continuing to sit and stare into space while his hands danced over his stomach. He didn't need long to find a song. He was going to sing to Mercedes. There were tons of songs about best friends and he was sure one of them would be perfect. So he poked and prodded his stomach and occasionally tugged at his bangs.
When Mr. Shue burst back into the room he looked winded and everyone was pretty sure he had been wearing a tie before. "Okay, that's pretty much it. See you tomorrow." Then he rushed back out of the room.
Kurt managed to catch Finn and Rachel before they got out the door. "Hey, Finn?"
"Yeah, Buddy?" 'Buddy' was what Finn had called Kurt ever since their parents had gotten married and the two boys had bonded over trying to cook food for themselves to keep from starving while their parents were on their honeymoon.
"Um… Could you just make sure that you don't let anything slip to Dad? It's just, I don't know how to tell him yet and I'd rather him hear it from me."
"Sure no problem."
"Ok, thanks. You're going home with Rach, right?"
"Okey doke have fun." Kurt said, then turned around to go talk to Mercedes. "Oh, and if you get home after 10 then you're going to have to crawl through the window because I'll have to tell Dad and Carole that you're sick or something." He said over his shoulder.
"Okay, and thanks for lying for me. I'll try to be back before then though."
Kurt grinned at him. "You're welcome. And thanks for lying for me too." Then he walked back over to Mercedes, where she was talking to Mike.
"Ok, just anytime between 12 and 5 should be good. Text me when you're on your way. See you later." She turned to Kurt. "So, nice to know you trusted me so much that you didn't even tell me you had a fuck buddy."
Kurt's face turned red. "It wasn't a fuck buddy. It was a one time thing. And you know you can't keep a secret."
Mercedes sighed. "You have a point. Although you could have at least have told me you'd done it even if you couldn't tell me who with. I'd have told you."
"I know. And I'm sorry."
"So… Will you tell me who it was?"
"No! I told you, you can't keep a secret and it would ruin this guy's reputation."
"So? That's his problem."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Come on, you can help brainstorm ways to tell my dad without the result being my untimely death." They both laughed as they left the choir room.
Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it cause I really enjoyed writing it and the next chapter will be up soon, since it's already written. Please review.
P.S. For anyone who's never seen Juno- the two references were "This is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet" and "Thunder cats are go" just so you know. And that rhymed.