2&1/2 CHPT 3.5 Interlude: Comms... What's that smell?

Notes: Read the Previously, because there's more in it than there was in the other. This isn't part of the story at all. A wild muse went wide left and stroked my funny bone. This is the drabbling result with tons of innuendo here.


After discovering that the TARDIS was protecting Phea, the Doctor realized that they needed more ear buds to communicate with.

Problem One: He only had four to begin with.
Solution? Make two more!

Problem B... no, Two: Time.
Solution? Set the workshop's temporal grace lock.

Problem Three: The Doctor's sexual inhibition bubble just burst and River knows it.
Solution? Uhm... no. No real solution here. It's a real problem.


River completely invaded his personal space and cupped his cheeks. "Tell me."

"She's a Tender," the Doctor whispered. "Phea's a TARDIS Tender. They're grown, remember? None of them made it to the sleeper ship. That's why the TARDIS had me... " he stumbled over the words and continued with a different sentence. "That's why she saved her," he lied.

The TARDIS made a noise and something in his mind popped, causing him to flinch as memories and emotions flooded his brain. "I'm free," he gasped.

River's eyes dilated and tightened her grip on the sides of his face involuntarily. She suddenly found herself wrapped up in a skinny hug, her hands still on his face. She heard him chuckle before he pulled back and snogged her outright. Pulling away, he placed his left hand to her cheek and smiled rather devilishly. "There you are," she cooed. "Bout damn time," she smiled and bit her lip.

Spinning away from her, the Doctor was more than a bit animated. "Right then! Twenty four people to save, big arse bug full of fear sucking badness, and a shunt engine to power down. Let's get to it!" He clapped his hands.

Rose looked at him like he lost his mind. "Did he just swear?"

"Ohhhh, whup. Hold on. You two need comms," he pointed to the Tylers. His eyes darted around, following his finger, thinking. "Be right back."

After he left, Amy said "I knew he had more of those."

River didn't even make an excuse when she followed after him.

John sniffed the air. "Is that? Nooooo." Rose's eyes widened, hearing the thought that went through his mind. She reflexively covered her daughter's ears, silly as that was.

Amy looked at him. "What?"

"Nothiiinnnng." the Tylers sing-songed in unison.

"She's gonna jump him, isn't she?" Rose thought to her husband.

"He should've thought of that before initiating. God, can you smell that?" he thought back to her.

Rose looked confused. "Actually, no. I can't."

John's eyebrows went up. "Oh that's right. They wouldn't even register for you. You only have nostrils for me," he mentally giggled. "Let me tell you though, his pheromones just skyyyrocketed."

Amy flapped her collar. "All right. Why is it hot in here?"

The Tylers couldn't take it anymore and started laughing like heathens.

Amy stared at them. "What!"

Phea looked at her parents like they were mad. "Wa's so funny?"

"I'll tell you when you're seventy," John said, wiping his eyes. The pair of them sighed together, then got started again.

Amy's eyes bulged. Not seeing River in the console room, she whipped her head around to the door. She slowly turned her head back to look at the Tylers with her mouth open. "It's now, isn't it?"

They nodded, still snickering.

"What's now?" Rory said over the comms.

"Nevermind!" Amy squeaked, punching the mute button on her comm.

"Heh hah, God I could do with a bitter right now," John said.

"Make it two!" Rose laughed.