Hahahaha! And to continue, what did they all see?
Remus really needs to behave himself. Especially with a maniac like Vernon Dursley about :')
Happy reading folks - don't forget to review! :)

Ten seconds earlier.

Inside, Remus was grinning like a maniac. On the outside, though, he was suave.

At least, he thought so. And Petunia seemed to agree.

A small voice at the back of his mind told him he was being unfair - cruel, even, stringing this girl along. But that voice was quickly silenced by Lily's - roaring in his mind about how much of a bitch her sister was. And, it was overruled when Remus thought of the 10 galleons he was going to win in - oh, ten seconds?

The countdown to midnight had begun. Remus didn't join in, instead placing his arms gently around Petunia. She looked up to him, her eyes sparkling.

"Five." he whispered softly.

"Four." she whispered back.



He smiled, before leaning in.

She couldn't believe it.

She was kissing him. This wonderful, untidy, handsome man who had come into her life not half an hour ago had his arm around her, supporting her, as she held onto his strong frame. His free hand was tangled in his hair, and Petunia felt... free.

Excited. Happy. Different.

Like she'd broken the rules. And she wasn't used to that.

She was too caught up in the moment to notice the addition of four more people to the room they were in as the other party guests bellowed "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" at the top of their voices. She could have kissed this man forever. And she still didn't know his name.

Far too soon for Petunia, he pulled away, resting his forehead on hers. "Happy New Year." he said, softly.

And her giggle was cut short by the loudest, angriest shout she'd ever heard.


Remus wasn't scared of many things. The moon, maybe. Himself, when the time came. Perhaps even the occasional bee. But everything else? He could handle it.

But real fear struck his heart when he heard Vernon Dursley's cry that night.

He dropped Petunia like a bomb and wheeled around to face him with his hands raised in innocence. He would have rather taken the punishment like a man, but Remus was too much of a girl inside to care.

Petunia, meanwhile, fell to the floor in the shock of having Remus' arms removed from around her. Her curls over her face, she looked up to her boyfriend like a little girl.

"V-v- Vernon?"

"PETUNIA!" he roared again, a vein throbbing in his purple forehead.


Sirius' attempt to lighten the mood was cut abruptly short by Vernon pushing him to the floor like a ragdoll, on his way to get to Petunia. James kneeled next to him, helping him up. Lily was too dumbstruck to move.

Remus backed away quickly as Vernon advanced and Petunia scrambled to her feet. Vernon stood infront of her, searching for something to say, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Petunia's eyes were like saucers.

Apparently, Lily thought this was a brilliant time to join the conversation.

"Remus!" she shouted, "What the hell were you doing?"

Instantly, Petunia wheeled around to face him.

All at once, she realized where she'd recognized him from.

"Remus," Lily introduced; he was tall, with a tawny-brown fringe sweeping over half of his face...

"YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!" Petunia roared. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Say what now?"


"Oh, that. Yeah. You don't know the half of it, love."

Petunia felt sick. Actually, physically ready to throw up. And it wasn't just because of the alcohol. No - she'd been kissing one of them. A freak. A weirdo. A wizard.

Suddenly she realized just how different her knight in shining armour had been. With one, last, vicious look at it, Petunia turned back around to Vernon. He looked just about ready to explode.

"Vernon!" she cried, in her best 'damsel in distress' voice, clutching at his shirt, "It was him! He forced himself on to me! I told him - I told him - I said 'No thankyou, I have a super-fantastic strong boyfriend who will be along in a moment,' but he wouldn't listen! He pushed himself onto me Vernon! It was all him!"

She looked up into his eyes as innocently as she could manage. Soon after, his own eyes snapped up to glare at the quivering wreck of a boy pressing himself up against the wall. He smiled nervously.

"You." Vernon growled.

Remus let out a nervous laugh.

"Now, now," Potter strode forward, trying to diffuse the situation, "Dursley, let's talk about-"

Just as he put his hand on Vernon's shoulder, Vernon turned around like a predator, letting rip an inhumane growl. Potter recoiled, snapping his hand away from Vernon as if the touch would burn him. He looked across to his quaking friend sympathetically - a look which said 'I tried'.

Slowly, deliberately, Vernon turned back to Remus. Remus let out another nervous, girlish laugh.

"Well," he said, his voice about an octave higher than normal, "I'll, erm..." he flicked his thumb over his shoulder, his face contorting in awkwardness, "I'll just be off, then."

Vernon growled.

Remus ran.

He was quick, when he wanted to be. And right then, Remus wanted to be.

Because Vernon Dursley was three things; massive, incredibly strong, and really, really scary. Especially when he was growling like a rabid dog, his piggy eyes glistening with something that looked uncomfortably like the intent to kill.

He ran at full speed into the Evans' family garden, knocking down a garden gnome on the way. He didn't stop to contemplate how incorrect the physical appearance of the gnome actually was - not once in his life had he ever seen a gnome fishing. But right then, that wasn't important. What was important was that there was a 300 tonne hulk of muscle hurtling towards him, and that not one of his so-called 'friends' were helping.

He was destined to die alone.

"Think you can just get off with other people's girlfriends, eh? I'll show you, you good for nothing-"

Vernon's roar was cut quiet as Sirius threw a plant pot at the back of his head in an attempt to knock him out. It didn't work. It just made Vernon angrier - as well as earning an approving 'ooooh!' from the gathering crowd. Remus felt a little better knowing that his friends were actually going to help.

Scanning the newly-formed crowd, Remus saw a familiar figure pushing to the front. The boy's eyes widened in panic at the sight of his friend in trouble, and ran forwards to aid him. Remus tried to tell him to stop, but he wouldn't listen.

And as he turned, Vernon sent Peter flying backwards with one, ham-like hand. Nobody laughed - not even Sirius.

Lily looked like she was going to pass out, but seemed to snap out of her trance as Peter landed on the floor next to her. She turned to Petunia, who was standing next to her, and screamed at the top of her voice.

"Petunia! Call him off! Make him stop!"

The sickly smile directed at Remus in reply to Lily's pleading made his blood curdle. Now he understood why people didn't just 'get off' with Petunia Evans. The reason was Vernon Dursley; it seemed that nothing could stop him when he started.

Frantically, desperately, Remus tried to piece together a plan in his mind. From the amount of time he was taking, it seemed that speed wasn't Vernon's strong point. Maybe he could use that?

He started advancing. Remus wasn't ready. He wanted to cry. He needed a distraction.

"Oi! Fatty! Pick on someone your own size!"

Thank the lord and high heavens, Remus thought, looking for his saviour in the garden. What he saw was something he really, really didn't expect.

Vernon turned around, noticing the odd spectacle the same time as Remus.

"Yeaah," Sirius sang, "you should be afraid, Dursley."

Sirius was sat on James' shoulders - who looked like his back was slowly crippling from the weight. Somehow, they were managing to stay balanced, despite the sweat dripping from James' forehead.

Dismissing them, Vernon turned back to Remus. And thanks to the surprising nature of the distraction, he still hadn't thought of a plan.

But, as Vernon had failed to notice, Sirius was armed.

"Take that!"

He threw another pot at the back of Vernon's head, before jumping down from James' shoulders. They ran in opposite directions.

Slowly, he put his large hand on the back of his head, feeling the warm, sticky blood that now coated it. Lowering his hand, he turned to face Sirius, who froze in his tracks.

"That's fine," he said, "I'll take you all."

And he advanced to the defenceless Sirius, whose grin had faded long ago.

She wanted popcorn. It was certainly the best show she'd ever seen.

Lily was screaming her head off next to her as Vernon swung at the boy she'd seen earlier in the party. He ducked the first punch, but Vernon was too fast for him the second time and he staggered backwards, holding his now bleeding nose.

"Sirius!" Lily screeched, running to his aid. Vernon laughed, Petunia applauded. Potter sent her one of the coldest looks she'd ever seen in her life.

"You leave him alone. You don't need to hit him! For God's sake, we know Remus did wrong - it was a bet, alright? Just a bit of fun! So lighten up, Durs-"

The end of Potter's rant was cut short as Vernon was at his throat. "A. Bit. Of. Fun?"

James couldn't answer through the choking. Lily screamed again. "Get off him! Vernon get off him! You're strangling him! Vernon!" She was running towards him, but Remus held his arm out.

"Lily," he said, "don't. Let me."

"Remus - he's six inches taller than you and about a foot wider. You've got no chance."

Remus looked at Vernon. "There's always one thing people forget."

And with that, he turned to where Vernon was holding an increasingly blue Potter by the neck. "Dursley!" he shouted, "Put him down! It's me you want, isn't it?"

Petunia laughed as Vernon dropped Potter and turned to Remus.

Oh, this was going to be good.

He tried to send him a fiery glare, but in all honestly, they had never been Remus' strongpoint. But he wasn't going to let Vernon see he was afraid.

He stood, feet shoulder-width apart so his knees didn't knock together, glaring at Vernon. He felt like he should be growling, or something. He wanted to be scary - to wipe the smile off Dursley's face.

Oh, Sirius and James were going to pay for this. Them and their stupid ideas.

"Alright then. You'll see how much it hurts to force yourself on my girlfriend, weed."

Remus nodded. "Well, you see, I didn't exactly force myself on her-"

"What?" he roared, "You're telling me she wanted to kiss you?"

Remus smiled. "Oh, most definitely. She wanted it."

"Why, you little-"

"She was begging for it, Dursley. And she enjoyed it-"

"Shut up, little-"

"-she said that she couldn't stand being forced against your body once more - the smothering smell of your breath almost knocked her out - have you smelt it, recently?"

A vein was throbbing in his head. His face was purple. His shoulders were wide and fists balled.


There was a fire in Remus' eyes that Petunia hadn't expected. Lily was right - Vernon could crush him in one hand. So why was he standing up to him?

She had a thought, but quickly pushed it from her head. It couldn't be that.

Could it?

Could he be standing up to Vernon... for her?

As Vernon charged at him, fists balled, Remus smirked, the odd blaze in his eyes never leaving them. Vernon reached him, and Petunia was sure that Vernon had sent him to an early grave in their back garden as he pummelled straight into the fence in front of him, but Remus stood, unharmed. His hands were resting on his hips, his eyes on the crumpled Vernon standing up after hitting the fence. He'd stepped out of the way with a split second to spare - the man's reflexes truly were amazing.

"Ouch." he said to Vernon. Vernon turned back to him, his head still bleeding.

He advanced back to Remus, swinging punches this way and that, but Remus dodged them all. He ducked and dived under Vernon's arms, leaving the man flailing around like a fish out of water. It was only when Vernon began to slow down did Petunia realise what Remus was doing.

He was tiring his opponent out.

Eventually, Remus made his way to Vernon's back, leaving him facing nothing but garden and audience. Before Vernon's tired mind could realise this, however, Remus jammed his elbow into the small of his back with such force that Petunia hadn't thought possible. Vernon wheeled around to face him instantly, swinging his fist again, but Remus ducked underneath - hitting Vernon squarely and forcefully in the stomach, with such power that sent the man staggering backwards.

In the few seconds Petunia could see him clearly, Remus didn't look half as bad as Vernon. He stood, rubbing his knuckles, a bruise rising on his left eye and a minor cut bleeding on his face with a rip in his shirt, but otherwise unharmed. Vernon, however, looked dizzy as he returned for another round.

The audience were shouting and cheering and screaming as the two men faced each other again - and Petunia honestly couldn't decide who to cheer for.

Vernon swung at Remus again, but he somehow caught his fist, using his other hand to punch him in the chest. As Vernon's reflexes kicked in to hold the damaged area, Remus punched him in the jaw and brought his leg up with unthinkable speed to kick Vernon the the stomach, sending him flying to the floor.

He lay there, dazed, for about a second, but that was all that Remus needed. He put his foot on Vernon's chest like some sort of bizarre champion, and Vernon couldn't get up. It was at this point his friends finally returned to his aid; Sirius grinning like a maniac through his bleeding nose, the small boy in a similar state, Potter shaking his head and smiling, still rubbing his neck and Lily looking dumbstruck.

Sirius and James proceeded to pin Vernon down as Remus knelt next to his ear, wiping some blood from underneath his eye. Petunia stepped forward.

Vernon looked across to Remus - who was now at his level -, his eyes watery and his head still bleeding a little. He looked about to pass out.

"You see, Dursley," Remus said too quietly for anyone but his friends and Petunia to hear, "there's always one thing that people forget when they're fighting me."

He seemed to wait for a question, but Vernon didn't speak. Remus smirked.

"They're fighting a werewolf. An intelligent one at that."

And as Vernon passed out, Petunia felt like she might too.

They were all in the Evans' kitchen now, Vernon sprawled on the table, still unconscious. Petunia was throwing up in the sink, and Remus held an ice-pack to his swelling eye.

"That. Was. Awesome."

Sirius grinned from across the room, his nose now fully fixed. Lily scowled up at him from the table where she was quietly charming Vernon's head back to normal.

Remus smiled, but winced as it reached his eye. Sirius grinned wider.

"It was, though! He was all like-" he made some punching gestures "- and then you were like -" he made some ducking motions "- and then he passed out, and you were like -" he put on an odd, husky voice that Remus took to be an impression of him, "you see, you're fighting with a werewolf." He grinned again. "BAM!"

"Yeah," Petunia croaked from the sink, turning around, "I heard that."

James laughed quietly behind her as she made eye contact with Remus. "You were joking, right? I mean, I know you lot are weird - but werewolves? They don't exist, do they?"

Remus smirked and looked away. Sirius burst out laughing.

"Oh, lord."

He only heard the thud on the kitchen floor as Petunia fainted, horrified at the idea of kissing a werewolf.

Oh well, Remus thought to himself, smirking, she's really not the only one.


All occupants of the kitchen (the conscious ones, anyway) turned to face the newcomers. There was a crash as Mrs. Evans dropped the bottles she was holding, her husband's eyes nearly popping out of his head behind her at the sight of his unconscious daughter and the injured boy on his kitchen table.

"What the HELL has happened here! We only went to get more drinks!"

There was a silence. Sirius coughed.

"Well boys, I think that's our cue." he said, quietly.

Remus, Peter and James looked up to him. Lily scowled from where she was sitting.

"Don't you dare, Sirius Black."

"Good Luck, Lils. I'll pay for any damage."

And with a wink and a loud crack, he apparated away. All colour drained from Lily's parents face, whilst Lily turned as red as her hair.

She stood to face Peter, James and Remus, a wild fire burning in her eyes.


But with two nervous smiles, Peter and Remus followed suit.

Back in the kitchen, James Potter felt just about ready to die.

Sirius was rolling around on the floor laughing when they all arrived back at his flat. Peter looked down to him, hopping from one foot to another.

"We shouldn't have done that," he whined, "We really shouldn't have done that."

"Shut up, Wormtail!" Sirius shouted, between laughs and gasps for breath, "It won't matter!"

"But - Lily..." Peter sounded on the edge of tears, "She looked really mad."

Sirius made a 'pshhh' sound, waving his hand at Peter. "She'll be fine. I think she'll see the funny side. What do you think, Moony?"

They turned to Remus, acknowledging his presence for the first time. He slowly sat on the arm of the nearest sofa, choosing his words carefully.

"I think..." he said slowly, his eyes gradually drifting to meet Sirius', "I think - you owe me ten galleons."

Sirius' smile fell. Remus grinned.

"Cough up, Padfoot."