Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes or any of its characters.
She hates her power (she never asked for it, never even wanted it first place). She had hates that it killed her grandmother and mother, set that pretty (and rather unusual) pink Victorian house on fire. She hates that she couldn't control it, that she was the reason all those people in numerous Ohio hospitals died when she caused the blackout of 1987.
She loves her power. She loves the way the blue sparks look as they fly around her hands like small fireworks. She loves the sound of the electricity as it crackles in the air, just begging to be released. She loves the feeling of the electricity as it courses through her body. She loves the power it holds over people, that one small zap can send them completely on the fritz.
She hates that so-called room that she had grown up in; the four white walls that had surrounded her, kept her caged up like an animal. She hates that she had to spend eighteen hours of the day in it, only leaving to go outside and do target practice. She hates that it always smelled like disinfectants and medicine. She hates that, when she was inside, she could only hear the dripping of the IV as the newest medicine transferred from the bag and into her veins.
She loves her white room, its simplicity a nice break from the complexities of her life. She loves that, after a mission gone awry or a particularly bad day, she can retreat to her room and lie down and take a nap. She loves that it's become her sanctuary, the one place that she can clear her mind of stupid missions and stupid unreachable serial killers with stupid names like Sylar.
She hates those psychopathic criminals that she had to pass by every time she went to her "recuperating room". When she was young, seven to twelve, she hates the way that they looked at her like she was a helpless little girl that couldn't do anything (they were quickly proved wrong when she once got mad and electrocuted the occupant of 5B). As she got older, she hates the way that they looked at her like she was a piece of meat, calling obscenities after her as she walked passed their cells.
She loves the criminals. She loves going into their cells and seeing the fear that's immediately cast in their eyes. She loves that she can do anything to them and not have to worry about any sort of fight (although sometimes the fighters are the most fun). She loves using them as targets, sending shocks through them like bullets through butter (nothing lethal though, just enough to knock them unconscious for awhile). She especially loves playing with Adam, he can take anything and makes it worth her while (although he refused to sleep with her till she was sixteen).
She hates that she never went to school like a normal girl, could never go to class or make friends. She hates that she could never turn in an English paper, take a pop-quiz, decorate her locker, or try out for the cheer-leading team.
As much as she hates that she never got to experience the first day of school, she loves the education that she got from The Company. She loves learning the weak spots in a human body, knowing exactly where to strike when she wants information but doesn't want to kill the informant. She loves reading the files on the criminals, learning what ticks them off and how to get inside their heads.
She hates that she never went on a date. She hates that she'd never get to introduce her boyfriend to her father, that she'd never get to share a plate of spaghetti with a sweaty-palmed teenage boy, that she'd never get dropped off at her doorstep and get that picturesque first kiss.
She still hates that she's never been on a real date.
She hates that her father wouldn't give her the time of day unless she got in trouble or was reporting in for an assignment. That he thought of her as nothing more than a weapon, a pretty dull one at that. That he had the nerve to yell at her for not manifesting her ability when all he could do was turn spoons into gold (not much of an interesting ability if you asked her).
She hates that she didn't know that daddies weren't supposed to stick needles in their daughters arms. She hates that she only knew of a childhood of pain and neglect, that she thought that was a normal childhood. She hates that, despite all of this, it broke her inside when she found him with his head sliced open. She hates that, in some twisted way, she loved him (well, as much as a diagnosed sociopath could love anything).
She loves her father, no matter how many times he's ignored her or stuck needles in her arms. She's pretty sure that she'll never stop loving him, no matter how many more things she finds out he's done to her. Even though he was harsh and horrible, she knew that it was only to help her. At times she hates her father and everything he's done to her but in the end her mother was right. She's always been a daddy's girl.
Author's Note: my first Heroes story, I hope you all like it!