Author's Note: This is the last chapter of Typical Beilschmidt Family Moments. It features Gilbert and Ludwig at 24 and 20 years old.
Oh, and Germania and other characters are in it, too.
Chapter 26: Cranky Germania
One day, things were normal in the Beilschmidt household. The day started off just fine, with Gilbert and his girlfriend-turned-fiancée, Anna, visiting, and Ludwig getting ready to head to his first class of the day at Brooklyn College. Roderich and Elizabeta were stopping by to visit as well with their children, 7-year-old Hannah and 1-year-old Noah. Germania was going into one of his daily rants about Rome Vargas' stupidity.
"That darn Rome," said Germania. "He's always calling me to do something for him. If it isn't killing cockroaches, it's cleaning his kitchen…are you listening to me, LuLu? And why do you have to date Krysia? Why couldn't you date a nice German girl?"
Ludwig sighed. "Not again. Grandpa, Krysia and I have been going out for a year now. You know I love her. And don't call me LuLu. You know I hate it when people call me that."
"Bahahahahaha!" Gilbert laughed hysterically. He was holding his sides. "Grandpa called you LuLu!"
"Not funny, GilGil!" Ludwig shouted at his older brother.
"Don't call me GilGil!" said Gilbert, getting in Ludwig's face.
"Boys, please stop," Elise pleaded with her sons.
"I will if you make LuLu here stop calling me GilGil," said Gilbert.
"And I'll stop if you make GilGil stop making fun of me," said Ludwig.
"That's enough," Claus said in a stern manner. Gilbert and Ludwig immediately stopped fighting each other when their father spoke up.
"Sorry, Dad," the brothers said.
"Shit!" said Ludwig, checking his cell. "I'm gonna be late! Bye, see you later." He ran out the door.
Gilbert and Anna stayed for awhile, while Claus and Elise went to do whatever they were doing that day. Roderich, Elizabeta and their kids stayed for a bit as well.
Later that day, Gilbert and Anna left to go out to eat, while Roddy, Lizzie, Hannah and Noah spent the day with Germania.
"You know, kids," Germania was saying to Hannah and Noah, who were sitting on his lap. "Back in my day, in Munich, chocolate didn't cost two dollars. It was cheaper than that."
"Really," asked Hannah.
"Ja," said Germania.
Just then, Noah whined, which meant only one thing: He needed a diaper change. And from how much he was whining, he needed it badly.
"Okay, Noah, it's alright," said Elizabeta. She picked Noah up and carried him out of the living room. "Let's get you cleaned up."
Roderich saw a pile of records sitting on the table. "Grandpa, what's all this?"
"Trash," said Germania. "Garbage."
Roderich flipped through the records; some of them were actually still in pretty good shape, despite being as old as…well, the '30s and '40s. "You're throwing these out?"
"I believe that's what you do with garbage, you dope," said Germania.
'Oh, boy,' Roderich thought. 'He's in one of those moods again.' "You don't want any of these?"
"Well, if I wanted it, I wouldn't be throwing it away, now would I, Einstein?" said Germania. Roderich rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Gramps, why are you saying stuff like that to Daddy?" asked Hannah. Germania didn't answer her.
"Oh, Grandpa's just in one of his moods, that's all, sweetie," Roderich told his daughter.
Elizabeta came out with a very pleased-looking Noah. "Roddy, we've gotta go if we're going to take the kids to the doctor."
"Oh, that's right," said Roderich. He hit himself on the forehead for forgetting about that. "Okay, Grandpa, we've gotta go; the kids have a checkup today."
"Okay, go," Germania groaned. "Go to your fancy doctor."
Hannah laughed. "Gramps is funny. See you later."
Meanwhile, Gilbert and Anna were out at a nice restaurant when Gilbert's cell rang.
"Yeah?" said Gilbert.
"Hi, Gilbo, it's Roddy," Roderich said over the phone.
"Oh," said Gilbert. "What do you want? Anna and I are at lunch."
"Could you have a couple of your friends watch Grandpa for a bit?" asked Roderich. "He's in one of his…moods again."
"Sure," said Gilbert. "Bye." He hung up and dialed the number to Francis' cell.
"Hello, this is Francis, the Master of L'amour," said Gilbert's friend.
"Hey, Francis, it's Gilbo," said Gilbert. "Listen, I need you and Tony to go over to my house and keep an eye on my grandpa. He's in one of those moods again."
"Sure," said Francis. "We'll get over there right away."
"Thanks," said Gilbert, He flipped the phone shut.
Ludwig's cell rang in class for everyone to hear. Ludwig had been passing notes to his girlfriend, Krysia Lukasiewicz.
'Dammit, I forgot to turn it off,' the young man thought as he answered it. "Yeah?"
"Lui, thank God I got through," said a relieved Roderich.
"Roddy, what do you want? I'm in class right now, and I think I'm in trouble with the prof." said Ludwig. His face was red from embarrassment.
"I need you to get a couple of your friends to watch Grandpa for a bit," said Roderich.
"Fine," said Ludwig. He hung up and then texted Feliciano and Kiku. 'hey could u stop by my house after class? I need u to watch my gramps. Lui' He then flipped the phone shut.
"Ludwig, would you care to share your conversation with the class?" asked the professor. Some of the other students snickered.
"Uh…no, not really," said Ludwig. He sank in his chair, hoping to become invisible to everyone else. "I forgot to turn my phone off…I-I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."
"I'm sure it won't," said the professor. He continued with his lecture.
"Was it Roddy?" Krysia whispered.
"Yeah," Ludwig whispered back.
Meanwhile, Francis, Antonio, Feliciano and Kiku were all at the Beilschmidt's house.
"Wow, look at all these records," Francis said to Antonio.
"Hey, we could sell these," said Antonio.
"That's a great idea, Tony," said Francis. He and Antonio started to take the records.
Feliciano and Kiku were listening with interest to Germania's stories about his childhood in Munich.
"Wow, really?" asked Feliciano.
"Interesting," said Kiku.
"Francis, Tony, no!" said Feliciano. He was now staring in horror at his cousins, who were taking Germania's records.
"Aw, come on, Feli," said Tony. "Don't you wanna make some money?"
"Don't take those records," said Kiku.. "They're not yours."
"Hey, I don't like what's going on here!" said Germania. "I want all of you bums out of here." He lunged at Francis and Antonio, who were still holding the records.
"Hey, come on, old man," said Francis. He was naked, like usual.
"Put some clothes on, Francis!" said Germania.
"Now, listen," said Antonio. "We just…OUCH!" Germania bit Antonio's arm, which caused Antonio to jerk his arm back, which caused Germania to lose his dentures.
"My teeth!" Germania exclaimed. "My teeth!"
"I think I saw something fly over here," said Feliciano.
"Well, turn on the light!" said Kiku.
Feliciano flipped a switch, but it wasn't the light. It was…
"That's the garbage disposal!" said Antonio.
"Uh…" said Feliciano. He pulled some mangled-looking dentures out of the sink.
"My teeth!" said Germania. Now he was angry. "You—!"
"Where's your dentist?" asked Antonio.
"Downtown!" said Germania.
"Okay, Francis, call a cab. I'll get Germania ready," said Kiku.
Minutes later, the four young men were in a cab. Francis and Antonio had Germania's pile of old records.
"Wait, wait, where's the old man?" said Kiku.
"We thought he was with you," said Francis.
"Let's go find him!" said Feliciano. He and the others got out of the cab.
About an hour later, there were two police officers at the house.
"What the hell?" one of the officers shouted at the four guys. "You guys were supposed to watch out for the man, not let him wander off!"
"We're sorry," said Francis.
"We were just trying to take him to the dentist," said Kiku.
"Why were you trying to take him to the dentist?" asked the officer.
"Well, his false teeth got mangled in the garbage disposal," said Feliciano.
"What were his false teeth doing in the garbage disposal?" said the cop.
"After he bit my cousin—" Francis started to say.
"Bit your cousin?" the cop said, his eyes wide with surprise.
Just then, Feliciano and the others heard the angry voices of Gilbert and Ludwig.
"It's Gilbert and Ludwig Beilschmidt," Gilbert was saying to a couple of cops. "Mr. Beilschmidt's grandsons."
"Alright, come on in," said a cop.
Gilbert and Ludwig walked in, Anna by Gilbert's side.
"What's going on here?" Gilbert asked angrily. "How do you lose a human being?"
"We're sorry, mon ami," said Francis.
"And why the hell are you naked?" asked Ludwig. "And…Grandpa's records! Where are they?" He was looking at the table that once held Germania's record collection.
"Well…" said Antonio.
"Francis and Tony tried to take your grandpa's records, and broke them," said Feliciano.
"His records?" said Gilbert and Ludwig.
"Grandpa's records?" said Gilbert.
"They're broken?" Ludwig asked, clearly enraged.
"W-We're s-s-sorry," said Francis and Antonio.
Just then, Germania came through the door. "What's going on?"
"Grandpa!" said a now happy Gilbert and Ludwig.
"Where were you, Mr. Beilschmidt?" asked Kiku.
"At the dentist," said Germania. "I got new dentures."
"Thank God," said the relieved brothers.
"Francis Bonnefoy, put your clothes on!" said Germania.
"Sorry, sir," said Francis. He ran out the door.
"Well, sir, we're glad you're safe," said one of the cops. "We'll be going now." The police left.
The rest of the day, after that incident, was relatively peaceful.