Pen name: PortiaKhalo
Pairing: Edward and Bella
Title: Bella Donna Here and Sea.
A/N, Disclaimers, etc: There is mild, implied violence contained within these words. Aleighy, as always, is my hand-holding story Goddess. Yellowglue betaed this little thing for me, which makes me endlessly happy. There is always hope, and I hope somehow this helps. This was inspired by the song Bella Donna as performed by the Avett Brothers.
She had old eyes. They were brown like soil freshly turned from deep in the earth. Her face was too young, but her eyes were old enough to see my anguish. As I ran from the room that first day, I knew she saw me as I truly was.
But when I returned she was wearing heart-shaped sunglasses. I was her "sight for sore eyes" even when she only saw through the glass darkly. She was a backwards Bible-verse, throwing on the eyes of childhood to block out the dark that poured from my pale pores.
She tucked her hair behind her ears when she saw me coming. Those ears were perfect for listening.
I spoke to those ears, round and small, carved smooth like a shell, succulent drops falling off the ends. I told them that she should stay away from me, that it was better if we weren't friends.
They never heard me.
They listened to the sound of my voice vibrate against my lips, and loved me for my undead larynx. The words I spoke weren't as deadly as they seemed. She refused to hear the venomous catch in my throat, threatening to release the monster under my skin.
My leaving should have come as no surprise.
Earmuffs were her next line of defense. Furry, fleece, purple earmuffs in the rain. It was me who denied the truth then. I couldn't stay away any longer, even when I knew I should.
"God! I hate getting rain in my ears!" She said as she sat down next to me.
That was the reason for the earmuffs then. It didn't explain her talking when no one was listening…but me.
I starred at her without shame, willing her to show me that her eyes still understood. When she finally met my gaze, her earthenware eyes had bloomed fresh irises, and I was caught in her scent.
"Doesn't the rain bother you?" She asked. I shrugged and smiled. She was an old soul longing to feel young.
"It was so hot in Arizona I thought I'd like the rain. Boy, was I wrong." She said. She shook out her hair, and the dew drops that fell on my mouth were quickly licked away.
It continued that way with us. I slowly let down my guard, always hoping hers would make up for my loss. Instead, she altered her senses to fit our needs.
I needed those ancient eyes, so she hid them behind childish glasses. I longed for her inner-ear to hear, so she donned Mickey Mouse ears instead. With the auditory amplified, she still only listened. Her eyes spoke the truth when they saw her reflected in my ever-changing orbs, so she blocked them.
Her heart grew three sizes each day, my Grinchy-steroids pumping it larger and larger, when what I really wanted was for it to crack open and spill out it's insides for me.
When I finally made the decision to leave permanently, erasing my stone fingerprints from her life, I was banking on her senseless senses.
In the forest she was here, present, but she couldn't hear. She saw, but the sea inside her swirled when I refused her and the sights and sounds never reached her heart.
I gave voice to the fears that were ever present, and she bounced them back to me, misshapen and ill conceived.
I left her knowing she had, all along, protected her heart from my words and my world enough to carry on.
As she finally halted her frantic search, I pulled my sunglasses from my pocket, tightened my hood around my face, and shut out the world.
Even though she'd only had a glimpse, no one else had ever really seem me before.
Thanks for reading! I am so happy to have been a part of the Fics for Nashville experience.