Hey, I've published a lot of fanfics before for various communities, but never for Big Time Rush. It's my newest obsession.

Summary: James finds Logan's pot stash. They get high and James confesses that he's gay. Logan convinces him to come out to the band and James goes through a host of bad boyfriends with Logan rescuing him between each.

WARNINGS: There will be a lot of drug use (hey, it's LA), there will be gay sex, there will be dubious consent i.e. rape, and there will be gay love. If it bothers you, don't read it.


Listened to a lot of Adam Lambert writing this, and a lot of BTR

"Logan? Did you hide my silver-lined purple skull bandana?" James' voice yelled from Logan's room. Logan turned around from his position reading a medical book. He couldn't see James through his bedroom door, but several pieces of clothing flew against the wall.

"Dude, are you going through my sock drawer?" Logan yelped and flew towards his and Carlos's room.

"What, is this where you keep you- Hey what's this?" James exclaimed, holding up a black zip bag. Logan moved to prevent James from opening it.

"Wait, don't open.." Logan said as he tripped over the doorframe. The moment's delay allowed James to unzip the bag and pull out the dime bag of pot. James' eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, which was comical even given the circumstances. Logan smirked it off.

"What, you never seen a bag of weed before?" Logan said and reached out to take it and the black bag from him. James let him take the objects.

"No, I haven't actually," James said before staring suspiciously at the bag, "Where did you get those?" Logan sighed.

"Remember when we all had Hollywood fever and I got obsessed with bongos and being peaceful? Normal people don't tell people to 'hop aboard the Logan train to mellowville'. I was stoned out of my mind," Logan laughed, then looked at the dime bag in his hand, "This is just leftover from then, I told myself I wouldn't do it alone again, or I wouldn't be able to stop myself from seeking out the bongos again."

James looked around nervously. He snuck to the door and looked outside. He checked the closets and windows. Logan watched with a quirked eyebrow.

"What are you doing?" Logan asked. James gave one last look outside the door before closing it and leaning against it. He pointed to the baggie.

"Can I smoke with you?" James asked urgently, hesitated, then smiled charmingly. Logan smiled.

"Sure, but we have to wait until Mama Knight, Katie, and Kendall leave for their aunt's house tonight. Carlos is having a sleep out in the lobby with some friends." Logan said and put the black pouch into the pocket of his blue hoodie.

Logan watched as the Knights left in their rental car before he turned to go to his room. When he turned around, however, he discovered a James in his path. He blinked.

"How did you get there without me knowing?" Logan asked, hesitated, and then shook his head before saying, "Never mind, I don't wanna know."

"C'mon, lets go in my room. Carlos has this…smell about him that may be associated with the combination of body odor and copious amounts of cologne that manages to mask any traces of smoke," Logan said as he pushed his way into the room and sat down cross legged on his bed. James closed the door and went to sit across from him. Logan proceeded to lay out his utensils.

"So, what do I do?" James asked and picked up the lighter. He flicked the wheel, trying to ignite it, but failed. Logan smirked and took it away from him.

"Just watch," Logan said and pulled a paper from a small container. He laid it atop his bag and opened the dime bag. As he skillfully loaded the weed into the paper and rolled it, he periodically glanced up to look at James. He pouted for a few seconds after the lighter was taken away, but his curiosity soon overcame his indignation. He picked up the next unusual looking piece.

"What's this," James asked, examining what looked like a toilet paper roll with dryer sheets wrapped around it and stuffed inside of it. Logan smiled and began rolling another joint.

"It's called a floobie. If you blow the smoke inside it, the dryer sheets trap the odor. Carlos won't be able to smell it, but Mama Knight has wicked nasal power. And I'm more afraid of Mama Knight's reaction than Carlos's" Logan said and packed the bag and the papers away. He stuffed it into his pocket and picked up the joint and lighter. He lit it and took a drag. Pulling away, Logan waited a few seconds before motioning for the floobie. He exhaled into the tube then handed the joint and the tube to James.

James put the joint to his lips, inhaled deeply, then began coughing as his throat rejected the heat. Puffs of smoke began escaping his mouth and nose.

"Shit!" Logan squeaked as he grabbed the joint in one hand and used the other to drag James' head into his sweatshirt. James hacked and wheezed into the soft fabric until he regained control of his breathing. Meanwhile, Logan giggled and took another drag, exhaling into the tube.

"It's ok, everyone does it their first time," Logan said and let James try again. This time, James inhaled less deeply and had more success. He could feel the world slowing down already. They passed the joint back and forth in silence until it disappeared. James didn't know when he made the decision to get up and root through the cabinets, but he knew it was a good idea when he found an unopened box of Oreos. He ripped open the top and grabbed a cookie. He pried the top off with his teeth, ate it, and licked off the cream as he returned to the room. Logan smirked at the Oreos and settled back against the headboard. James flopped onto his stomach and continued licking his Oreo seductively.

Suddenly, James stopped mid-lick and looked up at Logan. He seemed confused that Logan was watching him.

"Can I tell you something?" James asked. Logan nodded. The pretty boy frowned, "I mean, if I tell you something that's a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone or to judge me?"

"Dude, you found my pot stash today. You're my friend, nothing you say can change that," Logan added at the anxious look on James face. James sighed and rolled over onto his back.

"I haven't told anyone else this because I'm terrified of their reactions and I'm afraid of what the others will think 'nd I'm afraid of what it'll do to the band and to my career and to my future and then I start worrying over-" James said and tapered off, forgetting where the conversation was going. Logan snapped his fingers in the brunette's face.

"So what's your secret?" Logan asked. James sighed and rubbed his face.

"Logan, I'm gay," James spat and rolled over, burying his face in his arms. Logan watched, pulled out the other joint and lit up. After taking a hearty drag, he tapped James on the shoulder and offered the joint. The boy looked up questioningly and took the proffered blunt. Logan examined his buddy's face, noting the ashen complexion, the chewed lip, and the shining (albeit red and pupil-blown) eyes. Then he smiled and patted James on the shoulder gently.

"Dude, I could care less if you choose a girl, a boy, or a bandana to love. You shouldn't either," Logan said, "Let James be James."

James nodded and took another hit before passing the blunt back to Logan. The ashen complexion had taken a bit more color, but he still trembled and his eyes still had that shimmery look to them. Logan took a hit and smiled up into the air.

"Being a member of the intellectual community, I know that judging others leaves yourself wide open to critiques on your own lifestyle. Personally, I find both sexes attractive," Logan murmured and watched as James buried a fist into the Oreo box and unearth several cookies. He glanced at the burning joint, then to the cookie-preoccupied James, then back to the joint and shrugged and took another hit.

"So," James said through a mouthful of cookie crumbs, "Have you ever experimented with another guy?" Logan took another hit.

"Well, back in Minnesota I ended up on a failed double date where both the girls left and the guy and I got tongue tied," Logan said and winked, "Have you?"

James shook his head, "I guess I was afraid of people's reactions," he said and swallowed, staring at the box of Oreos contemplatively. Logan looked at the blunt again then at James.

"Wanna shotgun a hit?" he asked. James raised an eyebrow. Logan took a hit and moved forward on his knees until he was hovering over James. He pressed his lips down into the pretty boy's and used a hand to pry his mouth slightly open before exhaling into James' mouth. The brunette's eyes shot open wide and he went stiff, but he inhaled anyway. Logan pulled off and looked into James' eyes.

"Now blow it back," he commanded and put his lips back over the other boy's. James exhaled and Logan breathed in. He sat back on his heels and blew off into the floobie. James cleared his throat.

"I like that way better," he said huskily. Logan smirked, took another hit, and leaned forward again.

Carlos thumped into his room at 4:00 am and raised an eyebrow. Logan lay spooning against James, who was consequently using Logan's arm as a pillow. He also noted the half empty box of Oreos.

"I guess they had quite a chat," Carlos murmured to himself and plowed headfirst into the nest of blankets, old clothing, and magazines that was his bed and promptly fell asleep.